A Descent into Madness: A Conversation with Myself and Jedi

As I sat down to record this video, I realized that I was in for a wild ride. The conversation started off innocently enough, with me mentioning Andrew Zimmer's thing, which I knew I didn't have. "I know your thing we know Andrew Zimmer's thing I know his thing I know Jedi's thing I don't have a thing I need a thing maybe you can like like punch the air or something like fist punch," I said to myself. It was clear that I was feeling a bit anxious and restless.

But as the conversation progressed, things took a turn for the bizarre. "I think that they they they take my temperature in a very funny place oh it's okay hopefully you feel better after this I don't know if it really works that way but I'll keep my Paws crossed okay here we go are you ready okay let's go pixie you're going to have to wait here but I think you don't mind," I said, trying to calm myself down. It was clear that I was struggling to cope with some unknown stress.

Jedi, who was lying next to me on the bed, seemed to be enjoying the conversation. "she's staring at one of the Justin Hill Groves hanging up on the wall and she is loving it," I said, watching as my daughter gazed adoringly at a picture of Justin Hill Grover. It was clear that Jedi was happy, but also slightly confused by our conversation.

As we chatted, my mind began to wander. "do you want to do the unboxing with me you know at some point maybe just maybe we could do toy videos together any kind of toy that you like," I said, getting caught up in daydreams about potential future projects. It was clear that I was desperate for something to take my mind off whatever was bothering me.

But then, my mom burst into the room with a bag full of diapers and started talking to me in a way that was equal parts soothing and annoying. "she got checked up too did she burp oh yeah she really burp more than once," I said, trying to stifle a laugh at her silly antics. It was clear that my mom was trying to distract me from whatever stressors were weighing on my mind.

And then, just when things couldn't get any weirder, we started talking about pee. "I think they make doggy diapers don't they for me or him um well I think they make some for you which I'm thinking about wearing during the night because every time jeni Falls like in a perfect sleep that's when I feel like I need to go pee and I'm like no she just fell asleep so I'm like should I just pee here in the bed and not wake her up," I said, mortified. It was clear that I had lost all sense of decorum.

As the conversation continued, we started talking about my phone and how it's probably more germ-infested than a toilet seat. "your smartphone probably has more bacteria teeming on it than a toilet seat mine does yes it does e has your phone ever fallen into the toilet no never no I want to say that mine has but I'm not sure wait which phone I don't know did I know you I don't know did I use the phone that might have fallen in the toilet one fell in the sewer," I said, getting caught up in a series of confusing tangents.

Finally, we talked about my mom's upcoming trip to pick up Jedi's uncle Hector. "I think as soon as my mom finishes the last round of tortillas she leaving us with another lifetime supply will deplete in two weeks pretty much well now you know how to make them mhm that doesn't mean I'll make them for you if you're super nice I'm always super nice no I mean like super duper," I said, watching as my mom expertly rolled out a tortilla.

As the conversation drew to a close, I couldn't help but wonder what had triggered this bizarre chain of thoughts and emotions. "who's got 17 diapers in mommy's hand Mommy does that's ipofacto cuz she's the one with the diapers in her hand it'll only take you about 20 minutes to go through half of them," I said, laughing at my own absurdity.

And finally, as I wrapped up the video and hit post, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. It had been a wild ride, but at least I'd gotten it all off my chest.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enthank you for watching liking commenting sharing and subscribing right now smile even though I just picked up my new iPad to unbox later today in audio not in video so everyone's going to have to use their imagination and listen to the sound of my voice which Diana says according to her makes me sound more intellectual when she can't see me she can only hear me I'm more excited about these original artwork ornaments from someone named Corey I love it look at this it's Jedi and then she also sent lightsaber dangly earrings I'd like to see Diana wear them at least once if not we'll save them for when Jedi has her ears pierced and then she made this one for me an original Darth Vader pixel art ornament that I don't necessarily have to put on a tree I could hang it in my workshop which I might very well do thank you I love this stuff Priceless everybody feel free to follow Corey I I got the camera caught the camera's caught in my cap I'm not joking either it's it's caught in my cap I was going to show you that I'm sweating which I suppose you might be able to see I don't know cuz I I can't see what you see right now but the camera here I'll show you see it's it's it's caught here I think Wicket knows he's going into the vet today and if you're good maybe we'll get your ear pierced on the way home and then you could wear one of these lightsaber danglies what does the fox say I want I want food I want I want food that's what the fox says not what Jedi says mom's having trouble with the light yay it's just delayed like it takes a while yeah it's a slow bulb do you know who this is from it starts with a new and ends with a KNE a new knee I don't even think she needs a bottle all she needs is her daddy I was the same way with my daddy can I open the door while you're gone please I'll turn it off okay that's what the fox says when she gets older she gets to decide if she wants to take a vacation with Mommy to Hawaii or with Daddy to Antarctica or we don't have to go anywhere I was going to wear the R2-D2 hoodie but it's a little too warm in here maybe I'll put it on when I do the podcast out on the porch when Mommy and her mommy and Wicket get back from the vet no no no no no okay just don't let okay thank you she won't be cold she's got Fox for feet I know foxes foxing foxye you're teaching her horrible English yeah as opposed to me teaching her horrible Spanish probably yeah I make up words all the time it's a perfectly cromulent thing to do I love how she makes her little fist like this she like really angry no she's just like I think is just so good fists of feeding they're are feeding fists yeah when something's really good what do you do enjoy it I'm supposed to do something more you like dance around I don't know if I have a thing you don't M I know your thing we know Andrew Zimmer's thing I know his thing I know Jedi's thing I don't have a thing I need a thing maybe you can like like punch the air or something like fist punch I don't know it's kind of violent I don't know you need maybe I'll just adopt your thing and make it mine okay we're going to take the I don't want to go to that cuz I I think that they they they take my temperature in a very funny place oh it's okay hopefully you feel better after this I don't know if it really works that way but I'll keep my Paws crossed okay here we go are you ready okay let's go pixie you're going to have to wait here but I think you don't mind I don't mind it all you get to sit here and relax with Daddy and Jedi do I get to eat something too now pixie let's not go that far dinner time's a few hours off for you they're like two peas in a pond I don't like peas I'm like Dad has the world ever seen a cuter hiccup I think not do you want to do the unboxing with me you know at some point maybe just maybe we could do toy videos together any kind of toy that you like she's staring at one of the Justin Hill Groves hanging up on the wall and she is loving it she can see her smiles and smiles she can see for smiles and smiles she can see for smiles and smiles and smiles and smiles how'd it go super really my mom's first time to be in the bed oh she got checked up too did she burp oh yeah she really burp more than once oh really so what was wickets nosis um well they did blood test and it's blood well they're going to get back to us they don't know if it's blood I don't know what happened but as I was paying I swear there wasn't a little puddle next to me and then all of a sudden there was a little pea puddle and it could have been there and I could have just not have seen it or it could have been Wicked that's kind of what he's been doing around here I know well both Wicket and I are getting older yeah it could be that too probably is they do make doggy diapers don't they for me or him um well I think they make some for you which I'm thinking about wearing during the night because every time jeni Falls like in a perfect sleep that's when I feel like I need to go pee and I'm like no she just fell asleep so I'm like should I just pee here in the bed and not wake her up that has crossed my mind you can just blame one of the dogs or Jedi I know it's bad do you ever feel that way no I got to do my video I don't know if I should just do like a little bitty like mini vlog like just talking that was her no yes it was okay I don't know it's up to you mommy and her mommy are showing the world how to make homemade flower tortillas did you know that your smartphone probably has more bacteria teeming on it than a toilet seat mine does yes it does e has your phone ever fallen into the toilet no never no I want to say that mine has but I'm not sure wait which phone I don't know did I know you I don't know did I use the phone that might have fallen in the toilet one fell in the sewer I remember that I know when are you off to the airport to pick up Hector I think as soon as my mom finishes the last round of tortillas she leaving us with another lifetime supply will deplete in two weeks pretty much well now you know how to make them mhm that doesn't mean I'll make them for you if you're super nice I'm always super nice no I mean like super duper are you saying that you'd rather have me eat store-bought tortillas mhm this is the position Jedi finds most comfortable when she has gas who's got 17 diapers in mommy's hand Mommy does that's ipof facto cuz she's the one with the diapers in her hand it'll only take you about 20 minutes to go through half of them it's peanut butter diaper time peanut butter diaper time peanut butter diaper peanut butter diaper peanut butter diaper in a baseball bat peanut butter diaper feeding time drink the milk or whatever it's called and be happy as you can be feeding time if you need a third after the second and I've got another one sitting next to me you ready to see your uncle Hector again wa we hope you like today's effort enough to remember to like today's Vlog and we'll see you tomorrowthank you for watching liking commenting sharing and subscribing right now smile even though I just picked up my new iPad to unbox later today in audio not in video so everyone's going to have to use their imagination and listen to the sound of my voice which Diana says according to her makes me sound more intellectual when she can't see me she can only hear me I'm more excited about these original artwork ornaments from someone named Corey I love it look at this it's Jedi and then she also sent lightsaber dangly earrings I'd like to see Diana wear them at least once if not we'll save them for when Jedi has her ears pierced and then she made this one for me an original Darth Vader pixel art ornament that I don't necessarily have to put on a tree I could hang it in my workshop which I might very well do thank you I love this stuff Priceless everybody feel free to follow Corey I I got the camera caught the camera's caught in my cap I'm not joking either it's it's caught in my cap I was going to show you that I'm sweating which I suppose you might be able to see I don't know cuz I I can't see what you see right now but the camera here I'll show you see it's it's it's caught here I think Wicket knows he's going into the vet today and if you're good maybe we'll get your ear pierced on the way home and then you could wear one of these lightsaber danglies what does the fox say I want I want food I want I want food that's what the fox says not what Jedi says mom's having trouble with the light yay it's just delayed like it takes a while yeah it's a slow bulb do you know who this is from it starts with a new and ends with a KNE a new knee I don't even think she needs a bottle all she needs is her daddy I was the same way with my daddy can I open the door while you're gone please I'll turn it off okay that's what the fox says when she gets older she gets to decide if she wants to take a vacation with Mommy to Hawaii or with Daddy to Antarctica or we don't have to go anywhere I was going to wear the R2-D2 hoodie but it's a little too warm in here maybe I'll put it on when I do the podcast out on the porch when Mommy and her mommy and Wicket get back from the vet no no no no no okay just don't let okay thank you she won't be cold she's got Fox for feet I know foxes foxing foxye you're teaching her horrible English yeah as opposed to me teaching her horrible Spanish probably yeah I make up words all the time it's a perfectly cromulent thing to do I love how she makes her little fist like this she like really angry no she's just like I think is just so good fists of feeding they're are feeding fists yeah when something's really good what do you do enjoy it I'm supposed to do something more you like dance around I don't know if I have a thing you don't M I know your thing we know Andrew Zimmer's thing I know his thing I know Jedi's thing I don't have a thing I need a thing maybe you can like like punch the air or something like fist punch I don't know it's kind of violent I don't know you need maybe I'll just adopt your thing and make it mine okay we're going to take the I don't want to go to that cuz I I think that they they they take my temperature in a very funny place oh it's okay hopefully you feel better after this I don't know if it really works that way but I'll keep my Paws crossed okay here we go are you ready okay let's go pixie you're going to have to wait here but I think you don't mind I don't mind it all you get to sit here and relax with Daddy and Jedi do I get to eat something too now pixie let's not go that far dinner time's a few hours off for you they're like two peas in a pond I don't like peas I'm like Dad has the world ever seen a cuter hiccup I think not do you want to do the unboxing with me you know at some point maybe just maybe we could do toy videos together any kind of toy that you like she's staring at one of the Justin Hill Groves hanging up on the wall and she is loving it she can see her smiles and smiles she can see for smiles and smiles she can see for smiles and smiles and smiles and smiles how'd it go super really my mom's first time to be in the bed oh she got checked up too did she burp oh yeah she really burp more than once oh really so what was wickets nosis um well they did blood test and it's blood well they're going to get back to us they don't know if it's blood I don't know what happened but as I was paying I swear there wasn't a little puddle next to me and then all of a sudden there was a little pea puddle and it could have been there and I could have just not have seen it or it could have been Wicked that's kind of what he's been doing around here I know well both Wicket and I are getting older yeah it could be that too probably is they do make doggy diapers don't they for me or him um well I think they make some for you which I'm thinking about wearing during the night because every time jeni Falls like in a perfect sleep that's when I feel like I need to go pee and I'm like no she just fell asleep so I'm like should I just pee here in the bed and not wake her up that has crossed my mind you can just blame one of the dogs or Jedi I know it's bad do you ever feel that way no I got to do my video I don't know if I should just do like a little bitty like mini vlog like just talking that was her no yes it was okay I don't know it's up to you mommy and her mommy are showing the world how to make homemade flower tortillas did you know that your smartphone probably has more bacteria teeming on it than a toilet seat mine does yes it does e has your phone ever fallen into the toilet no never no I want to say that mine has but I'm not sure wait which phone I don't know did I know you I don't know did I use the phone that might have fallen in the toilet one fell in the sewer I remember that I know when are you off to the airport to pick up Hector I think as soon as my mom finishes the last round of tortillas she leaving us with another lifetime supply will deplete in two weeks pretty much well now you know how to make them mhm that doesn't mean I'll make them for you if you're super nice I'm always super nice no I mean like super duper are you saying that you'd rather have me eat store-bought tortillas mhm this is the position Jedi finds most comfortable when she has gas who's got 17 diapers in mommy's hand Mommy does that's ipof facto cuz she's the one with the diapers in her hand it'll only take you about 20 minutes to go through half of them it's peanut butter diaper time peanut butter diaper time peanut butter diaper peanut butter diaper peanut butter diaper in a baseball bat peanut butter diaper feeding time drink the milk or whatever it's called and be happy as you can be feeding time if you need a third after the second and I've got another one sitting next to me you ready to see your uncle Hector again wa we hope you like today's effort enough to remember to like today's Vlog and we'll see you tomorrow\n"