My Book Reviews Have Changed Over Time: A Personal Reflection

I've always believed that it's okay to change your opinions on books, especially if you've been re-exposed to them through other people's experiences. So, I thought it would be interesting to talk about a book that I previously enjoyed, but now sees things differently after hearing the concerns of others.

The final book for my video on books I have changed my opinions on is Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth. I want to be candid that I was paid by HarperCollins to produce an honest review for Carve the Mark in the months leading up to its release, but again, it was an honest review and everything that I said in that video is entirely my honest opinion at the time. If you think that I would lie about what's inside the book and what my feelings on this book are because it was being paid for it, please fucking unsubscribe because you clearly do not know me at all.

That video is still up. You can watch it. I also had a Goodreads review that I did update after what I'm going to talk about happened. But Goodreads does not allow sponsored reviews on their site, so I had to take it down. When I first read Carve the Mark, I really enjoyed it. I think I gave it like 4 or 4.5 stars, like I thought it was a really interesting sci-fi world. I was super excited for the rest of the duology. I loved the characters and none of that has changed. I still feel that way about this book and could admit that there are problems and other aspects. No. I'm not going to talk too much about the controversy. You can fucking google it there's enough reviews talking about it.

I don't really have to at this point. After my fellow book tubers and I had posted our reviews of Carve the Mark, a different review surfaced claiming that this book contained harmful racial stereotypes and tropes. Like the dark-skinned aggressor or the kinky-haired savage. If I can find that review, I will link it below. Otherwise, I will link a very similar one. But after that discussion had started, there were even more discussions on this book's portrayal of chronic pain and its portrayal of self-harm. This discussion went on for like seven months, and me talking about it now is probably in a spark another one, but I'm not here to tell you if Carve the Mark is racist or not. That's not my place.

I'm not having this discussion. But I do feel like this video would be incomplete if I didn't mention Carve the Mark because I do see it differently now. There are a lot of people who read this book and were hurt by it. Same with people with schizophrenia who read Made You Up, or even people who are victims of domestic abuse and read Fifty Shades of Grey. It happens all the time. It's always a shame when a book has a negative impact on a large specific group of people.

So whether or not I personally feel that this book did or did not promote harmful stereotypes about people of color, like it still hurt people and that's going to cause me to see this book differently. Like there's no way for me to separate the two. So everything I said in that first review still stands. I still like the characters. I still like the sci-fi world. But I just don't plan on continuing with this duology when the second book comes out.

And I can't really separate all the discussion that has happened because of it. Please let us not get into a discussion if Carve the Mark is racist or not in the comments of this video. This is not why I posted it. I just wanted to share the journey I've had with certain books on changing my opinions, whether it be positive or negative.

So that really concludes my video on books where my opinions have changed on. There are definitely many more like it's very hard to harbor these same exact ideals you had when you read a book for the first time and to have them years later. But I thought a lot of these were particularly interesting, maybe something that a lot of you guys could relate to.

And you know, feel free to share your opinions on any of the books or any of the comments that I made, I try and keep this channel an open place for discussion. To not attack people for their personal beliefs on books. I hope I have made that clear that I don't care if you love or hate these books. I don't care if you feel indifferent about them. This was just my personal experience.

This was just one of the many book reviews where my opinion has changed over time, but that is it for this video, and thank you guys so much for watching. And I'll see you soon for a new one bye

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enHey, what's up! Hello! My name is Emma and todayI'm going to be talking about some books that I've changed my opinions on. So the one thing that I really hate about being areviewer on booktube is that my opinions are always solidified as they are when I made that video,and it's very hard to make an amendment to that statement other than to delete the video.So I wanted to take some time today to talk about just a handful of books that I'venoticed over a time of reflection from when I read the book to where I am now I feel differently about themwhether that be positively or negatively.I do want to make a few quickdisclaimers before going into this video because anytime I say a mildly negative thing about a book on my channelthere's always a huge discourse in the comments.So firstly no one's opinion on a book is ever wrong. Reading is a solitary activityand it's awesome that we have the Internet to interact with so many different people and share our opinionsBut one does not invalidate the other even if we completely disagreeSo if I make a negative judgment on a book that you happen to love in this video it is in no way a personalAttack on you. I am NOT trying to change your opinionI am just expressing mineAnd if anything I understand why you love it so much because any of the books that I feel a little bit moreNegatively about now are ones that I originally loved. I think that really covers itLet's just try to be respectful of each other's opinions in the comments and we'll start off with my first book that I have changedmy opinion on which isFifty Shades of GreyNow if you have been on my channel since I think about winter 2015You'd probably know that I loved Fifty Shades of Grey. At the time I read itIt was like right when the first movie was coming out, and I even made a few videosDedicated just to Fifty ShadesNamely Defending Fifty Shades, and Why You Should Read Fifty Shades Darker.Those have both been currently taken down from my channel. My journey with Fifty ShadesStarted during a big snowstorm probably the biggest we've had in years where I was off of school for like a full week and oneNight, I just like sat in my bedI picked up a book that I had just because my mom and my sister had read it so many years agoThe movie was coming out so I was interested IDevoured the books I thought they were fun and entertaining and light-heartedAnd they were very new because at the time I was still kind of like a newbie to YA, and had only been reading YA forLike a year at that point, so it was new and exciting to meI was like 18 or 19 at the time, and I definitely did not have the critical reading skillsI'm trying to develop now, but I was just really focused on finding an entertaining storyThat's all I cared about is something that made me feel goodMy support of fifty Shades lasted about a year, a year and a halfI was like really in depth with it right around when I had first read it when the movie was coming out and then asThe second movie was coming around and I had kind of distanced myself from Fifty Shades over the yearsAnd there was more discussion about itI realized that there were more problems in it then I hadOriginally recognized or even more problems than I wanted to admit there were. In the way that Christian treats Anna that he is so possessiveover herHe sometimes kind of sees her as an object and there's a lot of actions that he takes that are just way tooControlling for me to ever condone personally at this point in my lifeSure it may have had an interesting plot to my teenage selfAnd it has the kind of tension-y romance that a lot of people like to readBut the romance that I like realized is so unhealthy and toxicOver time is really what set me off in the booksAnd they may not want to continue supporting the franchise. Being a conscious consumerI just can't feel good about reading these books or watching these moviesKnowing that this relationship is not something that I personally agree with so that's why my opinions on Fifty Shades have changedIt's just been a lot of growing up personally and realizing that to the previous beliefsI had about fifty Shades were not necessarily true to myselfalso the writing is really badThe next book that my opinions have changed on is Anna and the French kiss by Stephanie PerkinsNow this is a book that I do still consider myself to love I talked about it in my favoriteTrashy YA novels, like there's a lot of like personal significancewith Anna and the French kiss to me because it was one of the first like YAContemporaries that I read and it was super fun at the time but againJust growing up and being more conscious of the content of this book made me not like it as much andI've definitely thought about it differently sinceAgain I was 18 when I read this book, and I just wanted an entertaining storybut the one thing that always bothered me about it was theEmotional cheating. The fact that Etienne can be in a relationship with one girl and is constantly flirting with a lot of other girlsthat he isadmitting to having feelings for a different girl while being in theRelationship with this person and even sleeping in the same bed as her for three nights knowing that he has a girlfriend itJust it always made me uncomfortableBut I kind of looked over it because I love to the gushy romance so much the moreI think about it the more I'm like this is not okay. You know like I don't ever support cheating in books andRelationships that are built on cheating are just like there's always a part of me that even if I love itI just can't fully agree with it andAnna the French kiss has been like boiling into that for a very long time for meand it sucks because like when I think about Lola and the Boy Next Door and Isla and the Happily Ever After and I think about thecameos of Anna and St. Clairlike I still love them together like I love them in the futureBut I just I can't fully support their relationship because it's built on emotional cheating, and that is so wrong to meAdditionally after Lily C reads who was a fantastic Australian booktuber she posted a rant reviewThat's like 30 minutes long of Anna and the French kiss so if you're interested in hearing more perspectives on this bookHighly recommend it, but when I watched that video when it came outshe really opened up my eyes toThe slut-shaming that happens in this book and Anna's view of other people which I also don't agree withanyone who likes a guy or that dates a guy that Anna likes or has some form of relationship toeven if that relationship is long over is beneath her andShe just like is constantly judging peopleFor the way that they present themselves and their clothes and their demeanor when she does similar things throughout the book Lily does a greatJob of explaining it and I'll link her review belowBut that just also as well like the girl Hayden, the slut-shamingStuff that isn't like necessarily like a make-it-or-break-it in a book for me because I understand YA was a different time back when thisBook was published and a lot of books carried these themes not saying it's okayBut it was more tolerated in the publishing world and in readers, but for me nowI like my opinion has just changed so I do still love Anna and the French kiss it's always going to be like a teenageContemporary that I'm gonna look back at and say I enjoyedBut over the years just the emotional cheating and the way that Anna treats other girls has made me uncomfortableEnough to see this book in a different light and that's not a part that I'm gonna be able to separate from the books anymoreLet's have a change of pace real quick and talk about a book I originally didn't like, but nowI really do and I've told this one on my channel before so I'm sure you can predict what it is and that is theInfernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare. If you haven't been on my channel before and you haven't heard this storyI'm sure this is a huge shock to you because everyone knows that Cassandra Clare's my favorite author and my favorite series of all timeIs the Mortal Instruments series, but the first time I read the Infernal Devices series IHated it. I was so angry at the end of Clockwork PrinceThat like I accidentally ripped my library book, I feel like I just kind of like brushed it offIt wasn't too bad or anything, but I was that mad that like I just didn't realize there was damageI was inflicting on to the bookThe easy reason to explain why I didn't like The Infernal Devices at first is there was no chaseYes, you heard that correctlyI was 17 when I read the Infernal Devices for the very first time and this was after me reading the Mortal Instrumentsfour times in a row being like at the peak of my obsessionandI had decided I was like you know what I should probablyexperiment with some of her other books and see what she's writing about and whatnotSo I gave The Infernal Devices a try, and it just did not compare to the Mortal Instruments in my mindI was so invested in those characters and their story in their plot that this just felt completely mediocre to meI wasn't interested in it at all. I thought it was so boringI didn't like the characters the love triangle made me crazy because I did not like Jem and Tessa together or whatsoeverLike I disliked these books so much at first that I literally rated them one and two stars on Goodreads which like I neverdo so you know I really didn't like it at first. What I love about the Infernal Devices is you can actually watch mytransformation of how I feel differently about these books because in that first TMI verse tid tag that I did like the Mortal Instrumentswon 9.5 to 5. I hated everything in the Infernal DevicesAnd then I think it was in like September of 2015 either my favorites video or my September wrap-upI had just recently read the Infernal Devices and II Really enjoyed them like I think I was just in a position where I wasn't so attached to the Mortal InstrumentsAnd it wasn't the only thing in my head that I was able to view it as a separate entity and not necessarilyCompare it to the Mortal Instruments every five secondsI definitely just needed to grow as a reader in order to appreciate these independently from Cassandra Clare for a seriesAnd I'm so happy I did because now I love the Infernal DevicesAnd I've had the best time you're reading them since so this is definitely a very positive change in opinion like I love these booksNow I love rereading them I consider them one of my favorite series andSo like I just I'm so happy that like I just grew up and I was more mature and I stopped being bitter and pettyand I was able to appreciate these books for what they're worth. The next one might be abig shocker to those of you who love my mental health recommendations because I've never talked about this beforeBut another book that I see a little differently now is Made You Up by Francesca ZappiaWhich is still one of my favorite books. I love this book so muchIt's still one of my absolute favorite stand alones of all-timeBut after having some experiences related to this book and hearing other perspectivesI do see it a little bit differently. So Made You Up follows a teen named Alex who has schizophreniaAnd what I loved about Made You UpAnd I still love about Made You Up is that Alex does not only suffer from auditory hallucinationsshe suffers from visual hallucinationsWhich is something that is never recognized and as somebody who also suffered from visual hallucinations as a part of my psychosisIt is the first time I ever really felt identified with that part of my mental health journeyMade You Up has always been so special to me for that reason and it is still special for me like theSignificance this book holds for me has not changed whatsoeverBut after I've talked about me to do up on my channel so muchAnd I've had other people share their experiences reading this bookI realized that for people who have actually been diagnosed with schizophrenia a lot of themdon't feel like this book is a good representation of what it's like to live with that condition. A few examples of the critiques IHave heard is that apparently in this bookdelusions and hallucinationsAre used interchangeably as synonyms, which they are not the same thingI honestly do not remember this it's been a really long time since I read made you upI also read it in like 2015 so it's possible that I could have skipped over itBut I did know the difference at the timeAnd I feel like that's something I would have picked up on but you know if it's thereIt's there and that's an issue. What I think is the most disappointing part of reading reviews and people with schizophrenia is that apparentlyFrancesca Zappia did not do a lot of research on schizophrenia before writing this bookThis is all stuff that I've heard like through hearsay. I haven't heard of a specific source that has confirmed itI'll do another little bit of research before I upload this video so maybe I can find it and link it belowBut apparently she started writing this book at 16and sheDidn't really have a good grasp on what schizophrenia was and she just wrote it off of like what she thought it was likeWhich is a really big problem because when you're writing about an illness thatmillions of people experience you have to do your research in order to represent them properly and to not do any isSuch a disservice and so disappointing because this book represents me so wellbut it doesn't represent the people that it's supposed to represent andthat's a real shame. So Made You Up will always be a crucial book that represents myIdentity and that has not changed, and I will still speak of this book in that wayBut when I do talk about it nowI will be sure to make those critiques known and and to speak about the people who actually suffer from schizophreniaAnd how they have perceived this book because it's so important to hear from those voices as opposed to mine so againThis is a book that I absolutely lovebut I do have to view it differently after hearing theexperiences of other people and that's an OK thing to do. So we have one more book that we have to talk aboutAnd I don't want to talk about itIt's been so long can I just let it die? Why did I decide to make this video?So the final book for my video on books I have changed my opinions on is Carve the Mark by Veronica RothI want to be candid that I was paid by HarperCollins to produce an honest review for Carve the Mark in the months leading upTo its release but againIt was an honest review and everything that I said in that video is entirely my honest opinions at the time if you think thatI would lie about what is inside the book and what my feelings on this book are because it was being paid for itPlease fucking unsubscribe because you clearly do not know me at all. That video is still up. You can watch itI also had a Goodreads review that I did update after what I'm going to talk about happenedBut Goodreads does not allow sponsored reviews on their siteSo I had to take it down. When I first read Carve the Mark, I really enjoyed itI think I gave it like 4 or 4.5 stars, like I thought it was a really interesting sci-fi worldI was super excited for the rest of the duology. I loved the characters and none of that has changedI still feel that way about this book and I could admit that there are problems and other aspectsBut other parts that I can still enjoy. No. I'm not going to talk too much about the controversyyou can fucking google it there's enough reviews talking about itI don't really have to at this point. After my fellow book tubersand I had posted our reviews of Carve the Mark a different review surfaced claiming that this book contained harmful racial stereotypes and tropesLike the dark-skinned aggressor or the kinky-haired savage. If I can find that review I will link it below otherwiseI will link a very similar one butafter that discussion had started there were even more discussions on this book's portrayal of chronic pain andIts portrayal of self harm. This discussion went on for like seven months and me talking about itNow is probably in a spark another one, but I'm not here to tell you is Carve the Mark racist or notThat's not my placeI'm not having this discussionBut I do feel like this video would beIncomplete if I did not mention Carve the Mark because I do see it differently nowThere are a lot of people who read this book and were hurt by itSame with people with schizophrenia who read Made You Up or even people who are victims of domesticabuse and read Fifty Shades of Grey, it happens all the timeIt's always a shame when a book has a negative impact on a largeSpecific group of people. So whether or not I personally feel that this book did or did not promote harmful stereotypesabout people of colorLike it still hurt people and that's going to cause me to see this book differently like there's no way for me to see thisBook the same way I did November of2016 and the way I see it in November of 2017 there's no possible way for me to separate the two. So everything I saidIn that first review still stands I still like the charactersI still like the science fiction worldBut I just don't plan on continuing with this duology when the second book comes outAnd I can't really separate all the discussion that has happened because of it.Please let us not get into a discussion if Carve the Mark is racist or not in the comments of this videoThis is not why I posted it. I just wanted to share the journeyI've had with certain books on changing my opinions whether it be positive or negativeSo that really concludes my video on books my opinions have changed on. There are definitelySo many more like it's very hard to harborThese same exact ideals you had when you read a book for the first time and to have them years laterBut I thought a lot of these were particularlyInteresting and maybe something that a lot of you guys could relate to. And you know feel free to share your opinionsOn any of the books or any of the comments that I made, I try and keep this channel an open place for discussionTo not attack people for their personal beliefs on booksI hope I have made that clear that I don't care if you love or hate these booksI don't care if you feel indifferent about themThis was just my personal experience, but that is it for this video, and thank you guys so much for watchingAnd I'll see you soon for a new one bye ohgod, I just did my outro wrong!\n"