The Art of Dishwasher Dinner: A Culinary Adventure
As I stood in front of my trusty dishwasher, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and trepidation. I was about to embark on a culinary adventure like no other - creating a line of products called "Dishwasher Dinners" that would revolutionize the way we think about cooking. The thought of it sent shivers down my spine as I gazed at the array of containers in front of me, each one holding a mystery meal waiting to be devoured.
I began with the Kid Cuisine, a staple of childhood meals that had somehow managed to survive the rigors of time and technology. As I opened the container, a wave of nostalgia washed over me as I remembered countless nights spent around the dinner table, devouring these very same nuggets. But as I took my first bite, I was struck by the realization that something was off. The chicken patty tasted dry and flavorless, the macaroni and cheese cloyingly sweet, and the corn... well, let's just say it was an acquired taste. It seemed that the magic of Kid Cuisine had been lost in translation, and I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment.
But I refused to give up. With renewed determination, I turned my attention to the pizza, a culinary masterpiece that had somehow managed to emerge from the dishwasher unscathed. The crust was crispy, the cheese melted to perfection, and the sauce tangy and rich. It was a flavor combination that never would have worked in a traditional oven, but somehow, the dishwasher had made it work. I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as I devoured slice after slice, each one more delicious than the last.
Next up was the chicken, a protein-packed meal that had somehow managed to emerge from the dishwasher tender and juicy. The seasoning was spot on, and the addition of onion added depth and complexity to the dish. It was a masterclass in culinary engineering, and I couldn't help but feel like Wolfgang von Kempelen, the legendary culinary expert who had once challenged Napoleon Bonaparte to a cook-off.
But just when I thought things couldn't get any better, I encountered the pièce de résistance - apple pie. Ah, apple pie, the ultimate comfort food that never fails to hit the spot. But in this case, it seemed that the dishwasher had other plans. The crust was soggy, the filling raw, and the overall effect... well, let's just say it was a mess. I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment as I gazed at the sorry state of my dessert.
And yet, even in failure, there was a glimmer of hope. As I rummaged through the dishwasher drawers, I stumbled upon a mysterious container labeled "Rummy beary apple pie." It seemed that the dishwasher had somehow managed to create a culinary masterpiece, one that defied all logic and reason. The first bite was like a revelation - sweet, tart, and utterly delicious. It was as if the stars had aligned in my favor, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder at the magic of the dishwasher.
As I finished my meal and gazed upon the remnants of my culinary adventure, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. I had faced down the unknown, and emerged victorious on the other side. And as I looked around at the array of containers in front of me, each one holding a mystery meal waiting to be devoured, I knew that this was just the beginning. The world of dishwasher dinners was about to get a whole lot more interesting.
"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enWhat's up, everybody! Welcome back to Man Vs Din, the ridiculously titled show where I make an entire dinner based upon your Pinterest food suggestions.Now I received a crap ton of comments in the first episode.However, it was Lindsey who suggested the absolutely ridiculous concept of cooking a meal in the dishwasher.Upon further research I found out that you could use all sorts of things to make meals like this one!You could make pasta in your coffee pot!Grilled cheese with a f**king clothing iron! Genius! F**king genius.So, I went to the store and f**king had a blast, just coming up with things that I could figure out to put in the dishwasher for dishwasher dinner!I picked up some chicken as my main protein. I know that the standard is salmon, but I f**king hate salmon.Plus, it's probably better for the environment and, you know, if you didn't f**king know already, we've absolutely raped and killed the ocean.What else? Ahh, can I make a pizza? In the f**king dishwasher? Can I make a frozen dinner... Can I make a f***king pie?Can I make a pie in the God damn dishwasher?! So many questions, so many endless possibilities! Din-O-Meter, what do you think?(Din-O-Meter) You're going to get salmonella and die like an idiot.(Rob) I told you I wasn't using salmon, you can't get salmonella if you're not eating salmon. Idiot!Now before we start cooking and getting into this whole f**king thing, Abby suggested this in the previous episode. Rummy bears.The f**k are rummy bears? Oh, I'll tell you the f**k rummy bears are.Gummy bears soaked in f**king rum. Let's call this: Today's alcoholic appetizer.Now, I made these up yesterday by throwing a bunch of gummy bears into a bowl, and then pouring almost an entire bottle of mango rum on top of them.And I think they're just about ready to be served.Alright, here we go... Oh, what the f**k is this? Oh, God damn it! They all f**king melted together! *jiggling noises*Oop, okay. Agh! Ugh... Alright, well there it is. Awesome. It's like a rummy gummy pie at this point. F**k.These did not out. However, they still contain alcohol. *laughs* So I'm just gonna slice myself a little piece off here. Oh yeah, uh huh, that's where it's at.Rummy gummy cake! Ugh, oh! Strong! *sucking noises, coughing/laughing* They definitely soaked up the alcohol!On to the entrees!Alright, I got my containers ready. I got some aluminium foil, some mason jars. I got these oven bags.On to packaging up my sh*t for the dishwasher. Making a fancy ass dish over here. Some chicken, salt, pepper, rosemary, some thyme, lemon, onions, garlic. Boom.Wrapping that sh*t up a couple times in aluminium foil so that there's absolutely no penetration of water!And then for the f**k of it I'm throwing in this potato, this frozen pizza, a motherf**king Kid Cuisine,then I threw this asparagus into a mason jar filled with water, that should work.Oh yeah, and for dessert, this apple f**king pie! Awh, sh*t! Alright, everything's in, now we just wait. *record scratch*How long is a dishwashing cycle?*Reading* Don't expect normal cycles... *mumbling**Disbelief* Dishwasher cycles can take up to three hours? What the f**k? *laughing* What the f**k am I doing?*sighs* Ugh, f**k. What the f***k do I do for two or three f**king hours?Oh, that was a strong one!F**k!*cough*Yeah! Ah, it's in my eye!*To dishwasher* Hello? Are you done yet?*sickly* Oh, God... F**king rummy bears.*Defeated* Ugh, this is a God damn nightmare! Oh, f**k I'm so hungry!F**k it, I'm gonna make some f**king grilled cheese sandwiches with a God damn iron. Or something.*whispers* God damn it. I f**king hate these f**king things! God damn it!Like going, Which way is it going?! Ugh. Just get a little bit of butter on here, slice of cheese: There, there. Boom!*To the galaxy queen* Hey, Corrine! can I borrow your iron?Set this on maximum. It smells good. *sizzling* Hear that? That sounds f**king delicious! Is what that sounds like!Oh my God. Get the f**k outta here! Ready for it? *stunned* What?Oh my God!*crunch* Mmm! *sighs* It's not done yet! Maybe it's on the spin cycle, or something.Mmm... This'll hold me over. Where are those f**king gummy bears at? Oh yeah! Here we go!*squishy noises* Mmm! *cut*Alright! F**king dishwasher dinner is ready!Ohh! *coughs* Oh, oh... Oh, God that smells terrible! Ugh... *pained* Ah!Alright, we got the Kid Cuisine over here, just like I always remembered it.That's the chicken, whatever f**king chicken nugget thing, shape this is supposed to be.*Disgust* These aren't as good as I f**king remember 'em to be.They're cooked, but they're terrible.I f**king hate corn.Meh, it's f**king corn.Macaroni and Cheese! This used to be the s*it!Mmm... Hmm... Did it always have that aftertaste?Alright! That one's a f**king winner! It's an officially cooked microwave dinner in the dishwasher! Dishwasher dinners.I'm gonna f**king create a whole God damn line of products called 'Dishwasher Dinners'! Shark Tank here I f**king come!Don't f**king steal that! Any of you!Moving on with the pizza! Not too shabby! It's got like little pools of grease over here. This looks delicious.Melted cheese. The crust being actually, you know, crusty, not so much. But, it's f**king pizza. F**k it!Mmm! Success! Pizza can be made in the dishwasher!Alright, now the chicken. Ooh, it is pretty hot!How many f**king layers here? Jesus, look at that! That looks f**king awesome. I hope to God that that is cooked.Is it? I'm gonna check. Oh, yeah! That is cooked, tender, falling apart, and juicy as sh*t!Throw some asparagi on there! Here we go, boom. Oh! Those are hot, hot, hot! Hot!Alright, there it is!Are you f**king sh*tting me? Look at that! You pay a lot of f**king money for sh*t like that in a restaurant.Digging the f**k into this. Boom! Asparagus!Mm! Meh. Asparagus: probably my favourite vegetable. Only because of the asparagus pee. True story.Otherwise, I f**king hate it. But, I love smelling it the next day.Is that weird?Alright, into this f**king chicken here. Done! No pink, nothing raw, well-seasoned.Get a little onion in there.That is delicious! Call me f**king Wolfgang f**king Rob!James Beard award-winning sh*t right here! I don't even know what that means! *laughs*This is good.Oh, sh*t! We got apple pie!Alright, feels a little soggy. Ugh...I dunno if the dishwasher got to it, but it's very wet. It's kinda gross. F**k it!Alright, this is good, but it's raw.Oh yep, the pie dough definitely has to cook somehow. It didn't. But it is f**king pie.Hold on! Wait for it, wait for it! Going the f**king extra distance here! Boom!Rummy beary apple pie. No f**king around right there! Well my my, that is delicious! That's where it's at, right there.Rummy beary apple pie? Yeah!Winning this f**king kitchen!F**king winning!*cut* Well, that's all I got for ya on this week's Man Vs Din: Dishwasher Dinner edition!Be sure that you are subscribed so that way you don't miss any of the ridiculousness that is going on here on a weekly basis.Hit us up on Instagram @ThreadBangerStudios for all sorts of behind the scenes pictures and bullsh*t.Ah, like up this video if you haven't done that already, and I will see you around here next time! *snipping*Thought I was gonna cut myself with this f**king knife the entire time, didn't cha? Didn't cha? Didn't happen! Didn't happen!\n"
