The Paradise I Must Confess

We already drank the revolution Kool-Aid, hold on okay Miss Mortler, let's take a second mega mind wow oh i'm excited about this it's a toaster so if this still burns toast it solves no problem whoa that turned on fast look at this watch how fast this toaster boots up this is the fastest boot process i've ever seen in anything ever ready three two one go one i'm on three four do you want four seconds also the interface looks great look at that a bagel a paneer no paninis i hate that he doesn't like paninis that literally makes me question him you literally have meat cheese and good toasted bread with lime and it's melted together it becomes warm make a panini make a panini is the bagel frozen or fresh or are you reheating it cold these cold you got to cut that bagel bro is that a pretzel bagel yeah pretzel bagels are sick i didn't know they had that as an option so we're just going to go bagel and we're going to go fresh bagel and we're going to go medium-sized brownie is it gluten-free because that dish will burn dude this is game changing what pretzel bagels yeah pretzel eggs are great this is so good oh look you can turn off things oh bro you can turn things off i've removed the option for panini it is forever removed that irritates me remove paninis what brownness level do you want four and a half start oh yeah it's sucking that toes down what happens when it's done it brings it back up for you face bagel inward oh did you know that yeah you always do that that's true wait do you usually do the opposite this guy doesn't like penis and he puts his bagels in backwards bro i have people that toast my bagel and if i order a panini i literally have a special revolver in the drawer in my office underneath my couch in the drawer in my office under my couch you use that if i ever order a panini on you or on me you use it on everyone this is a fantastic product yeah well let's wait until it finishes toasting this dude's so bougie he actually deleted a panini option you think in all your hubris that there's something better than a grilled cheese a panini yeah we decided that all right oh look three seconds left wait that is well toasted i am slightly aroused i don't like the idea of a toaster being smarter than you are yeah i think that's what he's doing it's not fair that it can figure it out first time yeah but the other toasters i could never figure it out i went through years of pain that is not a four out of seven cut though we're gonna do a seven but this isn't fresh this was in the fridge that's why well the thing is is this is assuming that you don't put bread in the refrigerator you don't but people do oh i don't i do you're not supposed to every time i leave it out it gets rolled well you've got to put it in a bread box the heck is that dude i have a box for bread a box for everything you know it's like i have some weird hill to die on doesn't have any games waiting for the toast bro it's just got tic-tac-toe like there's built-in all right what are you doing here man you should be on their marketing that's the darkest it gets well this was in the fridge this bread was in the fridge if we say it's been in the freezer and then we do a seven i'm excited for this is there a fridge option no there isn't that's a real blender you want to try this sam it's very good oh my god she really likes that and this has seriously improved my life like get out of here just take the cream cheese your blazer doesn't fit sorry my place is for a toddler that's that's what i would cook it too personally i don't know how hot it is bro we gotta touch it maybe just find out what this kid did you use these lips it's the best bagel i've ever had this is gonna be a hit thank you guys for watching this episode of dope it up if you enjoyed it guess what i really really means a lot for you guys to enjoy what we make for those of you who didn't enjoy made it this far you're probably lying because this has been a long video so when you watch the movie to the end and want a refund when you eat your whole meal and want a refund yeah when you watch the whole video and you dislike gum just keep it to yourself thank you guys for watching there are those two videos um and we'll see you next time\\n

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enwe take everything people love about food remove it remove the texture remove the flavor what problem is this solving that's that's what i would cook it too personally i don't know how hot it is bro we gotta touch it with your fingers find out or do what this kid did they're kind of the opposite of lollipops when woods thinks too deep opposite of wildlife that's like something you'd see on yahoo answers what are the opposite of lollipops that's like such a dumb question but it's like yeah what are they hey everybody welcome to joe brno where we're going to reveal to you what the opposite of a lollipop is stay till the end to find out you're thinking right now that's a dumb question but no only dumb people think some questions are dumb well which questions hey what's this video guys this is 10 food gadgets that are gonna change how you eat forever that are going to upgrade your gobblers 10 food products that fill your stomach 10 food products will make your tongue want to punch it 10 food products that will lick your lollipop find out what the opposite of that is at the end of this episode let's take a look at that first product wait you can make anything uncrustable yeah yes yes please i'll take seven dude this is brilliant this is banger technology okay so what are we putting in this guys uh peanut butter and jelly next question tuna fish no sicko you're an idiot okay hold on i had a cracker i texted woods because i called my dog roo woods so i did the inverse which means there is something psychologically connecting those two in my mind what are you doing to this dog he's just rubbing his back dude potty training him belly rubs you literally think woods is someone you got to take care of no i don't think i just it's somebody i enjoy being around like real there is some weird connection because i don't call matt like roo you tried you couldn't even do it you're like yeah it didn't even fall out so strange so strange yo sandwich makers all right wait do you know how to spread eagle or are you gonna be like tanner and just gloop it on i know how to spread okay woods prove it what are these little cards that we got in here say cheese oh wait i got a bunch of jokes hey this episode's writing itself what do you call a cow with no legs uh ground beef why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties because he's a psychedelic he tends to he's a fun guy oh did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side he's all right now what do fish take to stay healthy uh uh omega-3s vitamin c dude your sandwich has not enough on it i'm gonna throw that out there if you're making a pb j it's got to be sloppy i want to see jelly falling out of the sides i want it to feel yeah you put that at the bottom like that oh yeah oh yeah dang dude that was hot woods what now now eat it whoa this is a heavy one dude so soft i just want to say if my kid ever prefers crust on a sandwich instead of the sandwich i'm going to literally disown him you want your kid to waste no no i'm saying my if my kids ever like i don't want the sandwich i just want the crust nobody has ever wanted comment down below has anybody ever been like i don't actually prefer just the cross my wife loves the pizza crust she eats my pizza pizza crusts are good that's different pizza crust is good but do you order a pizza just for the crust some sick on my it's called breadsticks i imagine why was this baby strawberry crying her mom and dad were in a jam that's horrible dude uh why was the egyptian pharaoh confused his dad was a mummy well now we're kind of getting to more political topics did you eat yours already all of it i didn't have any crust to go through so i was like wait bro this tastes just like an uncrustable i'm on the other side no i'm okay we share a ben we can't share this uh you guys sure bet i knew it dude that's a good point well what do you guys think of the sandy maker i want to say this is dope it's pretty dope for the kids honestly i'm gonna i'm gonna take this home there's just no cool way to use this on your own without having kids you know like imagine haley comes home and i'm just using this uncrustables man look i made dinner i got a bunch more here i'm gonna fire them off through the rest of the video wow i appreciate it let's get into it i love dopamine i have nine messages on etsy it's probably a bad thing anyways i have food crayons food crayons food crayons isn't it lit we can do banana rum we could do miso we could do ghost pepper so pretty much it's a way to add flavor to your meals um i wish there was a way for me to show you but i can't you just draw on your meat what if we got ghost pepper and you rub it on your tongue let's pick one i'm gonna pick ginger i think garlic is a great one to add to anything as well oh it's a pencil sharpening you sharpen the pencil on your food i feel like they could have just wait what what is that oh garnish is it coco what's coco yuzu it's coconut and add that to cart okay we got the coco yuzu we want the lime um we want the garlic how is it preserved uh by preservatives i said that like a.i dude does anybody want to try garlic besides me or no real question i just called him roo again dude why do i do this to that dude i genuinely like sometimes seriously that time was legit an accident woods i've got a great name just use it rolls off the tongue fruit crayon oh fruit crab food crayon i've been excited for these how does a scientist freshen his breath uh calcium chloride no experiments oh wait i wanted the lime lime's here we have black garlic and then cocoa and yuzu you want the cocoa and yuzu woods you zu you do you sound like that that dude on tick tock who does the singing of random sentences i'm here long thinking about you oh the garlic is spicy to the nose it comes with a little shredder here or the pencil sharpener oh you sharpen it onto your food what's that one black garlic noir noir nor noir nori neuer how thin this is what they look like in case you're curious it is a literal food crane it's concentrated no it's meant to season dude that is gross coco and yuzu what's yuzu okay google what's yuzu shut up you haven't even tried using it as a real crayon you should draw on your food yeah well that answered that question it just broke immediately just snap the neck bro you smell your hands now oh i barely touched it the sadness is strong yeah i'm sure if you would like you wanted a little bit of you know like garlic and you want to throw it on a burger all right that's a nope in my opinion yeah big boy no what's a midnight scoop so it's a world's first uh ergonomic ice cream scooper that's the dumbest thing i ever heard should we test if it's ergonomic whose problem is that they're hand cramps how much ice cream are you scooping why is it ribbed what'd you say like that for grip i think we get it i mean look at this thing this is the most bougie midnight scooper ever it's ergonomic patent-pending design allows you to use your body's strong muscles they're coming on to me bro what a bot who says that rather than your weak wrist joints this is the best scoop you'll ever have because your wrists need this big scoop yeah you need this strong body you need this ribbed body your weak wrists i hate you i'm gonna get this add a cart this just made my day better why are we eating ice cream oh the magic spoon or the midnight spoon midnight scoop there's something really strange about this it looks like a praying mantis bottom it looks like a bug yeah it looks like a bug the whole point of this is that you don't actually have to scoop you just push see what scooping is it really only works with the carton that looks like that oh dang that was hot why is it so flat it's like a mirror bro bros pudding is entirely are you eating like a chip you threw it at me like a chip you're eating it like a hard-boiled egg dude it's so hard i was about to get an ulcer scooping ice cream i don't know some products you mean a stroke yeah maybe that too a hernia that's what you're gonna get you might get hemorrhoids hemorrhoids is out of the sphincter yeah hernia is not correct yeah but you're having it come up the opposite yeah wow bro this is so hard dude this is the coolest problem i got that one bro just summoned a demon to get that up oh that's so tough dude i'm glad it's not a magic spoon because there's nothing magical about it that's how hard it is what was i going to say earlier this sucks wow this is going to be a note for me just because uh just no different than another spoon next proud you know what is cool square eats it's food in a square they can reset they send it to you that's what i meant to say instead i said how squarey works check it out this is for people who don't want to enjoy their food first of all here's your shorts this is the same size shirts you have on you just got a longer one yeah but he doesn't wear those long tees dude this dude looked like he was going to bed bro no they're just eating blocks of squished food stop i'm going to buy why would you do that why would what's the point of this it's one thing if like maybe you're like oh you know throw it in your back pocket or something like that gotta go on a hike but you're like you're sitting down and eating it oh why they made a chicken pack a beef pack chocolate pancake we're doing by the way i decor you're getting salmon then big boy you're paying 18 dollars to make me gag so the weirdest movie that was the weirdest sentence ever said on this channel i'm just gonna go for rice holy cow did i tell you i'm fasting for your health yeah didn't you eat something earlier and you're drinking gatorade the whole time yeah this guy's fasting oh no that breaks a fast fasting starting now why you don't want to try these oh do you remember what these are oh that's why you're saying this this is gonna be terrible yeah no that's not why what made you think that i'm gonna be honest wait was that supposed to be cold it was in the fridge i put in it's been in the fridge for over a week oh i don't think we actually should eat these now because that was sitting in the warehouse for a week but you didn't even know it was in the fridge so how do you know the time between it going from the way out to the fridge i got it on a friday i put it in there on tuesday yeah maybe they don't need to be refrigerated oh keep this box refrigerated well we can smell them bro there's no way this is there's way too much air in here these bloated up yeah see that's what it's supposed to look like well we have one we can use salmon i'm not doing salmon it looks like it's starting to mold okay that's that's on me for some reason i thought they were protein bars but if you're putting a little cube in your fridge why can't you just put a piece of fruit in your fridge instead the whole reason why you compact food like this is to save it and make it accessible my hand just went in it says that best buy date was like a week ago they expire that fast yeah so we had to have eaten all of this in two days yeah it does not smell good we bought so many of them this is gross we're gonna try one feel it oh that stinks too are you supposed to eat it like this no yeah you're supposed to eat it like this this is the dumbest thing i've ever seen this is so bougie for it to perish so fast is my problem i mean to be fair we did leave it out a little long but i mean most of this would have gone bad anyways why do people make businesses like this i genuinely want to like do they get out of business school and like we're gonna change the game we're gonna change the game we take everything people love about food remove it remove the texture remove the flavor what problem is this solving the cheese is the only one that really made it you know it says choose between different warm-up methods so maybe for like astronauts no this will go bad before you get up to space like quick trips this is really bad i don't feel comfortable judging it because we technically didn't eat it the way it's supposed to be even so even if it was fresh the idea is still done the idea is terrible guys i actually been wanting to try something like this for a long time a really good uh high quality chef's knife okay just putting that out there this has got 5 000 ratings 130 bucks damascus you know you got to sharpen consistently i have to sharpen my damascus knife all the time i never see you sharpen it you don't live with me we get the g10 black true true entertains the idea i exist outside of seeing him you're like a teacher writing this on a cart because i believe it guys we have a watermelon and an apple and it's not for any reason besides the fact that my knife is here okay everyone take a step back i ran a whole channel with cutting and destroying things i think i can handle a chef yeah what do you think it was cancelled oh good point yeah rest in peace timmy timmy was our p.m yeah do you guys remember timmy the pa no it's because he didn't make it through an episode poor timmy even matt's over here laughing about it man well you know when the worst happens you just got to laugh at it all right i want to try on the apple first the watermelon is honestly like pretty overwhelming wow hello there that's what it sounds like in piccata it's me the knife wow it had some velocity literally cut straight down into the table bro who cuts like this you literally can i show you there it is turn it over dude turn it over turn one over like that why is everybody grabbing my knife because you don't cut an apple like this you cut it like this oh round side up this is not a good knife it's too thick see it wasn't just me oh that's a terrible watermelon yeah can you give me one yeah how big don't you worry boys this is called the tanner filet gosh i'll give you a couple slices all right it's just like a little doll who wants watermelon it doesn't smell right i hate watermelon i don't like watermelon but it's the best thing to test cutting things on it did not taste right even with my uh preliminary lick what's that why was the broom running late traffic air traffic traffic swept in yes yes yes yeah it smells like a pumpkin it does smell like a pumpkin we paid 100 something bucks for this knife would you say that's worth it no but it's satisfying to see what's good it's about to like go bad ferment tastes like it's fermenting puts it back it actually looks like you never cut it out go wash it off before you put it back in there you can always clean it you just pour water in there pour water no we're just spitting there dude i think you're gonna need more than a plate yeah we did not make this easy she brought a plate i am engaged okay calm down then i'm so engaged yeah what's that food huggers what interesting i wonder if it actually keeps the side of the fruit so you don't have to slice it off because it's been oxidized explain to these kids what this is it prevents your food from oxidizing the outside surface exposed to oxygen and decay like a lot of fruit will basically once you cut it open form its own skin to protect the rest of it inside and then it'll just go bad quicker yeah but this thing might go on it to prevent it from doing that at all i'm curious to see if that's actually true or if it just makes it so you don't have to put the fruit in a piece of bag in a piece in a pizza bag it's not just a car i want to get it and i want to put some fruit in it oh these yeah food huggers my wife really loves resealable bags instead of just using ziploc she's like and i quote you just hate the earth don't you and then i say who doesn't it's not mine it's not my earth yeah i didn't choose to be born okay so these are like little reusable bags that's cool and all let's get the avocado one and put the avocado in it ah you can do that i hate it we have a knife right there wherever i put it that's a little scary we don't know where it went oh yeah oh yeah it's over there somewhere there's a knife here's a crazy thing i took it out of a cheese and i hit it on the ground so how do you use these like one's a baby avocado one's a free shivacado so the idea is yeah we take this little like uh savor thing that's too small that's the right size and you just kind of like wrap it around that's it and then you you save that you guys even see this magic that's happening over here dude it looks like a butt how does it look like a butt yo take a bite oh that's just going to destroy that avocado avocado is a delicate fruit he gets a bear has no point a pair of towels uh paper towels what a strange request can i have a pair of towels two please okay so what's going on over there with your apple sock apple booty that's it that's the that's the thing all right i'll take all these like these work i don't think these actually work yeah they work ah look at me on my camera i look like i'm a contortionist yeah you do actually they just don't look like your legs they just look like your legs what's something in the kitchen that's always like super inconvenient yeah yeah yeah like cooking we got oh this thing like seals things oh yeah i want a bag sealer like the thing that goes yeah lots of this is no that's that's a curling iron it's for bags to seal them no no no like ones that's gonna seal an open bag of chips that that fifteen dollars oh oh nino bubito needle libido meow flamino everyone's like waiting to say it all right i'll bite but i won't bark at the car oh this i wanted this is there a battery in this or what or is it it doesn't need a battery i think it might need batteries battery storage area yeah there is one can we get a couple doubles a couple doubles a little double double okay let's try this now it doesn't accept this yeah for sure it did look at that no nice except i just need to do this small little edge here and then this small little edge here and then this small little edge here and then it works do you have it yeah does it work yeah i mean it's working does it work after you use it consistently is there a way to do it without being a loser like look at mine oh yeah you just gotta be better oh look at what i did dude that's dope man oh man mine just burned right through i smell that burnt plastic dude i'm not sure it's easier than just using a rubber band i think it's just less wasteful what's the number to call um how much is your commission yeah so fun fact i actually sell these on the weekends with their freaking blazer because here's my thing they're less wasteful but they take two batteries that are going to go out every time you need to use it that's your thing yeah here's my thing yo there is a product there i don't know what it is yet but there's a product there first off why are you holding like a dip cup what's going on hey oh that was way too far we should do like a vision i was like so far off that i scared myself all right mariah carey and you're selling us this toaster is your toaster too small does it not have a screen is it a normal toaster well my name is mariah carey and i'm here to present revolution instaglow4270 touchscreen to water my friend here gets it two-slice high-end design brush platinum finish the ultimate toasting experience with high school was that i lost my place smart smart settings for my celiac friends it's there's a gluten-free mode it frees the gluten from your bread that's right takes the gluten right out of it sucks it right shoots it out the back guys it's got a panini press i hate paninis dude you're sick in the head if you hate paninis it's literally the dream sandwich you know why i hate a panini it's like just hot things that shouldn't be hot it's like putting a fajita in your sandwich not good sounds awesome this is the most expensive way to make toast i have a june oven so i'm interested what do you do with the other 11 months well you just eat from the microwave the june oven basically looks like this and it kind of looks as dumb but it's the coolest thing in the world you can literally throw your steak in there it goes through eight different like cooking processes comes out it's delicious could you make a panini let's look that up my fourth grade teacher miss mortler literally just said toast paradise i must confess we already drank the revolution kool-aid hold on okay miss mortler let's take a second mega mind wow oh i'm excited about this it's a toaster so if this still burns toast it solves no problem whoa that turned on fast look at this watch how fast this toaster boots up this is the fastest boot process i've ever seen in anything ever ready three two one go one i'm on three four do you want four seconds also the interface looks great look at that a bagel a paneer no paninis i hate that he doesn't like paninis that literally makes me question him you literally have meat cheese and good toasted bread with lime and it's melted together it becomes warm make a panini make a panini is the bagel frozen or fresh or are you reheating it cold these cold you got to cut that bagel bro is that a pretzel bagel yeah pretzel bagels are sick i didn't know they had that as an option so we're just going to go bagel and we're going to go fresh bagel and we're going to go medium-sized brownie is it gluten-free because that dish will burn dude this is game changing what pretzel bagels yeah pretzel eggs are great this is so good oh look you can turn off things oh bro you can turn things off i've removed the option for panini it is forever removed that irritates me remove paninis what brownness level do you want four and a half start oh yeah it's sucking that toes down what happens when it's done it brings it back up for you face bagel inward oh did you know that yeah you always do that that's true wait do you usually do the opposite this guy doesn't like penis and he puts his bagels in backwards bro i have people that toast my bagel and if i order a panini i literally have a special revolver in the drawer in my office underneath my couch in the drawer in my office under my couch you use that if i ever order a panini on you or on me you use it on everyone this is a fantastic product yeah well let's wait until it finishes toasting this dude's so bougie he actually deleted a panini option you think in all your hubris that there's something better than a grilled cheese a panini yeah we decided that all right oh look three seconds left wait that is well toasted i am slightly aroused i don't like the idea of a toaster being smart and withholding my toast for me wait are you insecure about the toaster being smarter than you are yeah i think that's what he's doing it's not fair that it can figure it out first time yeah but the other toasters i could never figure out i went through years of pain that is not a four out of seven cut though we're gonna do a seven but this isn't fresh this was in the fridge that's why well the thing is is this is assuming that you don't put bread in the refrigerator you don't but people do oh i don't i do you're not supposed to every time i leave it out it gets rolled well you've got to put it in a bread box the heck is that dude i have a box for bread a box for everything you know it's like i have some weird hill to die on doesn't have any games waiting for the toast bro it's just got tic-tac-toe like there's built-in all right what are you doing here man you should be on their marketing that's the darkest it gets well this was in the fridge this bread was in the fridge if we say it's been in the freezer and then we do a seven i'm excited for this is there a fridge option no there isn't that's a real blender you want to try this sam it's very good oh my god she really likes that and this has seriously improved my life like get out of here just take the cream cheese your blazer doesn't fit sorry my place is for a toddler that's that's what i would cook it too personally i don't know how hot it is bro we gotta touch it maybe just find out what this kid did you use these lips it's the best bagel i've ever had this is gonna be a hit thank you guys for watching this episode of dope it up if you enjoyed it guess what i really really means a lot for you guys to enjoy what we make for those of you who didn't enjoy made it this far you're probably lying because this has been a long video so when you watch the movie to the end and want a refund when you eat your whole meal and want a refund yeah when you watch the whole video and you dislike gum just keep it to yourself thank you guys for watching there are those two videos um and we'll see you next timewe take everything people love about food remove it remove the texture remove the flavor what problem is this solving that's that's what i would cook it too personally i don't know how hot it is bro we gotta touch it with your fingers find out or do what this kid did they're kind of the opposite of lollipops when woods thinks too deep opposite of wildlife that's like something you'd see on yahoo answers what are the opposite of lollipops that's like such a dumb question but it's like yeah what are they hey everybody welcome to joe brno where we're going to reveal to you what the opposite of a lollipop is stay till the end to find out you're thinking right now that's a dumb question but no only dumb people think some questions are dumb well which questions hey what's this video guys this is 10 food gadgets that are gonna change how you eat forever that are going to upgrade your gobblers 10 food products that fill your stomach 10 food products will make your tongue want to punch it 10 food products that will lick your lollipop find out what the opposite of that is at the end of this episode let's take a look at that first product wait you can make anything uncrustable yeah yes yes please i'll take seven dude this is brilliant this is banger technology okay so what are we putting in this guys uh peanut butter and jelly next question tuna fish no sicko you're an idiot okay hold on i had a cracker i texted woods because i called my dog roo woods so i did the inverse which means there is something psychologically connecting those two in my mind what are you doing to this dog he's just rubbing his back dude potty training him belly rubs you literally think woods is someone you got to take care of no i don't think i just it's somebody i enjoy being around like real there is some weird connection because i don't call matt like roo you tried you couldn't even do it you're like yeah it didn't even fall out so strange so strange yo sandwich makers all right wait do you know how to spread eagle or are you gonna be like tanner and just gloop it on i know how to spread okay woods prove it what are these little cards that we got in here say cheese oh wait i got a bunch of jokes hey this episode's writing itself what do you call a cow with no legs uh ground beef why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties because he's a psychedelic he tends to he's a fun guy oh did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side he's all right now what do fish take to stay healthy uh uh omega-3s vitamin c dude your sandwich has not enough on it i'm gonna throw that out there if you're making a pb j it's got to be sloppy i want to see jelly falling out of the sides i want it to feel yeah you put that at the bottom like that oh yeah oh yeah dang dude that was hot woods what now now eat it whoa this is a heavy one dude so soft i just want to say if my kid ever prefers crust on a sandwich instead of the sandwich i'm going to literally disown him you want your kid to waste no no i'm saying my if my kids ever like i don't want the sandwich i just want the crust nobody has ever wanted comment down below has anybody ever been like i don't actually prefer just the cross my wife loves the pizza crust she eats my pizza pizza crusts are good that's different pizza crust is good but do you order a pizza just for the crust some sick on my it's called breadsticks i imagine why was this baby strawberry crying her mom and dad were in a jam that's horrible dude uh why was the egyptian pharaoh confused his dad was a mummy well now we're kind of getting to more political topics did you eat yours already all of it i didn't have any crust to go through so i was like wait bro this tastes just like an uncrustable i'm on the other side no i'm okay we share a ben we can't share this uh you guys sure bet i knew it dude that's a good point well what do you guys think of the sandy maker i want to say this is dope it's pretty dope for the kids honestly i'm gonna i'm gonna take this home there's just no cool way to use this on your own without having kids you know like imagine haley comes home and i'm just using this uncrustables man look i made dinner i got a bunch more here i'm gonna fire them off through the rest of the video wow i appreciate it let's get into it i love dopamine i have nine messages on etsy it's probably a bad thing anyways i have food crayons food crayons food crayons isn't it lit we can do banana rum we could do miso we could do ghost pepper so pretty much it's a way to add flavor to your meals um i wish there was a way for me to show you but i can't you just draw on your meat what if we got ghost pepper and you rub it on your tongue let's pick one i'm gonna pick ginger i think garlic is a great one to add to anything as well oh it's a pencil sharpening you sharpen the pencil on your food i feel like they could have just wait what what is that oh garnish is it coco what's coco yuzu it's coconut and add that to cart okay we got the coco yuzu we want the lime um we want the garlic how is it preserved uh by preservatives i said that like a.i dude does anybody want to try garlic besides me or no real question i just called him roo again dude why do i do this to that dude i genuinely like sometimes seriously that time was legit an accident woods i've got a great name just use it rolls off the tongue fruit crayon oh fruit crab food crayon i've been excited for these how does a scientist freshen his breath uh calcium chloride no experiments oh wait i wanted the lime lime's here we have black garlic and then cocoa and yuzu you want the cocoa and yuzu woods you zu you do you sound like that that dude on tick tock who does the singing of random sentences i'm here long thinking about you oh the garlic is spicy to the nose it comes with a little shredder here or the pencil sharpener oh you sharpen it onto your food what's that one black garlic noir noir nor noir nori neuer how thin this is what they look like in case you're curious it is a literal food crane it's concentrated no it's meant to season dude that is gross coco and yuzu what's yuzu okay google what's yuzu shut up you haven't even tried using it as a real crayon you should draw on your food yeah well that answered that question it just broke immediately just snap the neck bro you smell your hands now oh i barely touched it the sadness is strong yeah i'm sure if you would like you wanted a little bit of you know like garlic and you want to throw it on a burger all right that's a nope in my opinion yeah big boy no what's a midnight scoop so it's a world's first uh ergonomic ice cream scooper that's the dumbest thing i ever heard should we test if it's ergonomic whose problem is that they're hand cramps how much ice cream are you scooping why is it ribbed what'd you say like that for grip i think we get it i mean look at this thing this is the most bougie midnight scooper ever it's ergonomic patent-pending design allows you to use your body's strong muscles they're coming on to me bro what a bot who says that rather than your weak wrist joints this is the best scoop you'll ever have because your wrists need this big scoop yeah you need this strong body you need this ribbed body your weak wrists i hate you i'm gonna get this add a cart this just made my day better why are we eating ice cream oh the magic spoon or the midnight spoon midnight scoop there's something really strange about this it looks like a praying mantis bottom it looks like a bug yeah it looks like a bug the whole point of this is that you don't actually have to scoop you just push see what scooping is it really only works with the carton that looks like that oh dang that was hot why is it so flat it's like a mirror bro bros pudding is entirely are you eating like a chip you threw it at me like a chip you're eating it like a hard-boiled egg dude it's so hard i was about to get an ulcer scooping ice cream i don't know some products you mean a stroke yeah maybe that too a hernia that's what you're gonna get you might get hemorrhoids hemorrhoids is out of the sphincter yeah hernia is not correct yeah but you're having it come up the opposite yeah wow bro this is so hard dude this is the coolest problem i got that one bro just summoned a demon to get that up oh that's so tough dude i'm glad it's not a magic spoon because there's nothing magical about it that's how hard it is what was i going to say earlier this sucks wow this is going to be a note for me just because uh just no different than another spoon next proud you know what is cool square eats it's food in a square they can reset they send it to you that's what i meant to say instead i said how squarey works check it out this is for people who don't want to enjoy their food first of all here's your shorts this is the same size shirts you have on you just got a longer one yeah but he doesn't wear those long tees dude this dude looked like he was going to bed bro no they're just eating blocks of squished food stop i'm going to buy why would you do that why would what's the point of this it's one thing if like maybe you're like oh you know throw it in your back pocket or something like that gotta go on a hike but you're like you're sitting down and eating it oh why they made a chicken pack a beef pack chocolate pancake we're doing by the way i decor you're getting salmon then big boy you're paying 18 dollars to make me gag so the weirdest movie that was the weirdest sentence ever said on this channel i'm just gonna go for rice holy cow did i tell you i'm fasting for your health yeah didn't you eat something earlier and you're drinking gatorade the whole time yeah this guy's fasting oh no that breaks a fast fasting starting now why you don't want to try these oh do you remember what these are oh that's why you're saying this this is gonna be terrible yeah no that's not why what made you think that i'm gonna be honest wait was that supposed to be cold it was in the fridge i put in it's been in the fridge for over a week oh i don't think we actually should eat these now because that was sitting in the warehouse for a week but you didn't even know it was in the fridge so how do you know the time between it going from the way out to the fridge i got it on a friday i put it in there on tuesday yeah maybe they don't need to be refrigerated oh keep this box refrigerated well we can smell them bro there's no way this is there's way too much air in here these bloated up yeah see that's what it's supposed to look like well we have one we can use salmon i'm not doing salmon it looks like it's starting to mold okay that's that's on me for some reason i thought they were protein bars but if you're putting a little cube in your fridge why can't you just put a piece of fruit in your fridge instead the whole reason why you compact food like this is to save it and make it accessible my hand just went in it says that best buy date was like a week ago they expire that fast yeah so we had to have eaten all of this in two days yeah it does not smell good we bought so many of them this is gross we're gonna try one feel it oh that stinks too are you supposed to eat it like this no yeah you're supposed to eat it like this this is the dumbest thing i've ever seen this is so bougie for it to perish so fast is my problem i mean to be fair we did leave it out a little long but i mean most of this would have gone bad anyways why do people make businesses like this i genuinely want to like do they get out of business school and like we're gonna change the game we're gonna change the game we take everything people love about food remove it remove the texture remove the flavor what problem is this solving the cheese is the only one that really made it you know it says choose between different warm-up methods so maybe for like astronauts no this will go bad before you get up to space like quick trips this is really bad i don't feel comfortable judging it because we technically didn't eat it the way it's supposed to be even so even if it was fresh the idea is still done the idea is terrible guys i actually been wanting to try something like this for a long time a really good uh high quality chef's knife okay just putting that out there this has got 5 000 ratings 130 bucks damascus you know you got to sharpen consistently i have to sharpen my damascus knife all the time i never see you sharpen it you don't live with me we get the g10 black true true entertains the idea i exist outside of seeing him you're like a teacher writing this on a cart because i believe it guys we have a watermelon and an apple and it's not for any reason besides the fact that my knife is here okay everyone take a step back i ran a whole channel with cutting and destroying things i think i can handle a chef yeah what do you think it was cancelled oh good point yeah rest in peace timmy timmy was our p.m yeah do you guys remember timmy the pa no it's because he didn't make it through an episode poor timmy even matt's over here laughing about it man well you know when the worst happens you just got to laugh at it all right i want to try on the apple first the watermelon is honestly like pretty overwhelming wow hello there that's what it sounds like in piccata it's me the knife wow it had some velocity literally cut straight down into the table bro who cuts like this you literally can i show you there it is turn it over dude turn it over turn one over like that why is everybody grabbing my knife because you don't cut an apple like this you cut it like this oh round side up this is not a good knife it's too thick see it wasn't just me oh that's a terrible watermelon yeah can you give me one yeah how big don't you worry boys this is called the tanner filet gosh i'll give you a couple slices all right it's just like a little doll who wants watermelon it doesn't smell right i hate watermelon i don't like watermelon but it's the best thing to test cutting things on it did not taste right even with my uh preliminary lick what's that why was the broom running late traffic air traffic traffic swept in yes yes yes yeah it smells like a pumpkin it does smell like a pumpkin we paid 100 something bucks for this knife would you say that's worth it no but it's satisfying to see what's good it's about to like go bad ferment tastes like it's fermenting puts it back it actually looks like you never cut it out go wash it off before you put it back in there you can always clean it you just pour water in there pour water no we're just spitting there dude i think you're gonna need more than a plate yeah we did not make this easy she brought a plate i am engaged okay calm down then i'm so engaged yeah what's that food huggers what interesting i wonder if it actually keeps the side of the fruit so you don't have to slice it off because it's been oxidized explain to these kids what this is it prevents your food from oxidizing the outside surface exposed to oxygen and decay like a lot of fruit will basically once you cut it open form its own skin to protect the rest of it inside and then it'll just go bad quicker yeah but this thing might go on it to prevent it from doing that at all i'm curious to see if that's actually true or if it just makes it so you don't have to put the fruit in a piece of bag in a piece in a pizza bag it's not just a car i want to get it and i want to put some fruit in it oh these yeah food huggers my wife really loves resealable bags instead of just using ziploc she's like and i quote you just hate the earth don't you and then i say who doesn't it's not mine it's not my earth yeah i didn't choose to be born okay so these are like little reusable bags that's cool and all let's get the avocado one and put the avocado in it ah you can do that i hate it we have a knife right there wherever i put it that's a little scary we don't know where it went oh yeah oh yeah it's over there somewhere there's a knife here's a crazy thing i took it out of a cheese and i hit it on the ground so how do you use these like one's a baby avocado one's a free shivacado so the idea is yeah we take this little like uh savor thing that's too small that's the right size and you just kind of like wrap it around that's it and then you you save that you guys even see this magic that's happening over here dude it looks like a butt how does it look like a butt yo take a bite oh that's just going to destroy that avocado avocado is a delicate fruit he gets a bear has no point a pair of towels uh paper towels what a strange request can i have a pair of towels two please okay so what's going on over there with your apple sock apple booty that's it that's the that's the thing all right i'll take all these like these work i don't think these actually work yeah they work ah look at me on my camera i look like i'm a contortionist yeah you do actually they just don't look like your legs they just look like your legs what's something in the kitchen that's always like super inconvenient yeah yeah yeah like cooking we got oh this thing like seals things oh yeah i want a bag sealer like the thing that goes yeah lots of this is no that's that's a curling iron it's for bags to seal them no no no like ones that's gonna seal an open bag of chips that that fifteen dollars oh oh nino bubito needle libido meow flamino everyone's like waiting to say it all right i'll bite but i won't bark at the car oh this i wanted this is there a battery in this or what or is it it doesn't need a battery i think it might need batteries battery storage area yeah there is one can we get a couple doubles a couple doubles a little double double okay let's try this now it doesn't accept this yeah for sure it did look at that no nice except i just need to do this small little edge here and then this small little edge here and then this small little edge here and then it works do you have it yeah does it work yeah i mean it's working does it work after you use it consistently is there a way to do it without being a loser like look at mine oh yeah you just gotta be better oh look at what i did dude that's dope man oh man mine just burned right through i smell that burnt plastic dude i'm not sure it's easier than just using a rubber band i think it's just less wasteful what's the number to call um how much is your commission yeah so fun fact i actually sell these on the weekends with their freaking blazer because here's my thing they're less wasteful but they take two batteries that are going to go out every time you need to use it that's your thing yeah here's my thing yo there is a product there i don't know what it is yet but there's a product there first off why are you holding like a dip cup what's going on hey oh that was way too far we should do like a vision i was like so far off that i scared myself all right mariah carey and you're selling us this toaster is your toaster too small does it not have a screen is it a normal toaster well my name is mariah carey and i'm here to present revolution instaglow4270 touchscreen to water my friend here gets it two-slice high-end design brush platinum finish the ultimate toasting experience with high school was that i lost my place smart smart settings for my celiac friends it's there's a gluten-free mode it frees the gluten from your bread that's right takes the gluten right out of it sucks it right shoots it out the back guys it's got a panini press i hate paninis dude you're sick in the head if you hate paninis it's literally the dream sandwich you know why i hate a panini it's like just hot things that shouldn't be hot it's like putting a fajita in your sandwich not good sounds awesome this is the most expensive way to make toast i have a june oven so i'm interested what do you do with the other 11 months well you just eat from the microwave the june oven basically looks like this and it kind of looks as dumb but it's the coolest thing in the world you can literally throw your steak in there it goes through eight different like cooking processes comes out it's delicious could you make a panini let's look that up my fourth grade teacher miss mortler literally just said toast paradise i must confess we already drank the revolution kool-aid hold on okay miss mortler let's take a second mega mind wow oh i'm excited about this it's a toaster so if this still burns toast it solves no problem whoa that turned on fast look at this watch how fast this toaster boots up this is the fastest boot process i've ever seen in anything ever ready three two one go one i'm on three four do you want four seconds also the interface looks great look at that a bagel a paneer no paninis i hate that he doesn't like paninis that literally makes me question him you literally have meat cheese and good toasted bread with lime and it's melted together it becomes warm make a panini make a panini is the bagel frozen or fresh or are you reheating it cold these cold you got to cut that bagel bro is that a pretzel bagel yeah pretzel bagels are sick i didn't know they had that as an option so we're just going to go bagel and we're going to go fresh bagel and we're going to go medium-sized brownie is it gluten-free because that dish will burn dude this is game changing what pretzel bagels yeah pretzel eggs are great this is so good oh look you can turn off things oh bro you can turn things off i've removed the option for panini it is forever removed that irritates me remove paninis what brownness level do you want four and a half start oh yeah it's sucking that toes down what happens when it's done it brings it back up for you face bagel inward oh did you know that yeah you always do that that's true wait do you usually do the opposite this guy doesn't like penis and he puts his bagels in backwards bro i have people that toast my bagel and if i order a panini i literally have a special revolver in the drawer in my office underneath my couch in the drawer in my office under my couch you use that if i ever order a panini on you or on me you use it on everyone this is a fantastic product yeah well let's wait until it finishes toasting this dude's so bougie he actually deleted a panini option you think in all your hubris that there's something better than a grilled cheese a panini yeah we decided that all right oh look three seconds left wait that is well toasted i am slightly aroused i don't like the idea of a toaster being smart and withholding my toast for me wait are you insecure about the toaster being smarter than you are yeah i think that's what he's doing it's not fair that it can figure it out first time yeah but the other toasters i could never figure out i went through years of pain that is not a four out of seven cut though we're gonna do a seven but this isn't fresh this was in the fridge that's why well the thing is is this is assuming that you don't put bread in the refrigerator you don't but people do oh i don't i do you're not supposed to every time i leave it out it gets rolled well you've got to put it in a bread box the heck is that dude i have a box for bread a box for everything you know it's like i have some weird hill to die on doesn't have any games waiting for the toast bro it's just got tic-tac-toe like there's built-in all right what are you doing here man you should be on their marketing that's the darkest it gets well this was in the fridge this bread was in the fridge if we say it's been in the freezer and then we do a seven i'm excited for this is there a fridge option no there isn't that's a real blender you want to try this sam it's very good oh my god she really likes that and this has seriously improved my life like get out of here just take the cream cheese your blazer doesn't fit sorry my place is for a toddler that's that's what i would cook it too personally i don't know how hot it is bro we gotta touch it maybe just find out what this kid did you use these lips it's the best bagel i've ever had this is gonna be a hit thank you guys for watching this episode of dope it up if you enjoyed it guess what i really really means a lot for you guys to enjoy what we make for those of you who didn't enjoy made it this far you're probably lying because this has been a long video so when you watch the movie to the end and want a refund when you eat your whole meal and want a refund yeah when you watch the whole video and you dislike gum just keep it to yourself thank you guys for watching there are those two videos um and we'll see you next time\n"