**The Absurdity of Cycle Lanes**

We are living in absurd times, where people have become so consumed by the latest trend that they've lost all sense of reason and common decency. Take, for example, the so-called "cycle lanes" that have been sprouting up all over our cities. These designated paths for cyclists are touted as a safety measure, but in reality, they're nothing more than a recipe for disaster.

Consider the recent attempt to build a cycle lane along the A40 in London. The project was estimated to cost £42 million, with a staggering £10 million per mile allocated for its construction. And what did we get in return? A narrow strip of asphalt that's barely wide enough for a bicycle to squeeze through. It's absurdity personified.

But it's not just the cost that's the problem; it's also the congestion that these cycle lanes create. When cyclists are forced onto the roads, they take up valuable space and slow down traffic. And what happens when an ambulance needs to rush someone to the hospital? Forget about it. The cyclists will block the way, leaving paramedics to navigate through a sea of bicycles.

And then there's the issue of accessibility. Who gets to decide which areas are suitable for cycling? Is it just the privileged few who can afford to buy a fancy bicycle? What about those who rely on public transportation or don't have access to a bike? The cycle lanes seem designed with only the most affluent in mind.

But what really takes the cake is the so-called "expert" advice from think tanks and councils. They claim that these cycle lanes are necessary for safety, but what they're really doing is creating a self-perpetuating cycle of congestion and frustration. And to top it all off, some have suggested banning private cars from London altogether in 11 years' time. Because, you know, we need more bike lanes.

**The Economic Reality**

Let's not forget the economic reality of these so-called "sustainable" solutions. We're told that cycling is good for the environment, but what about the poor who can't afford to buy a fancy bicycle? What about those who rely on public transportation or don't have access to a bike? It seems like just another example of how we're being forced to choose between our wallets and our values.

And then there's the issue of personal space. We're all being told that we need to respect each other's right to use the road, but what about personal hygiene? The cyclists seem to think they're above the law when it comes to odor control. Newsflash: just because you're cycling doesn't mean you get a free pass on stinking up the air.

**The Politics of Bike Lanes**

But beyond the absurdity and economic reality lies a deeper politics at play. We've become so caught up in the latest trend that we've lost all sense of proportion and reason. The cyclists seem to think they're above the law, but what about those of us who are just trying to make our way through the city without getting stuck behind a bike lane?

And then there's the mayor's argument with the council over the cycle lane. It seems like a classic case of a politician more concerned with appearances than actual substance. They're more worried about being seen as "pro-cycling" than actually addressing the real issues at hand.

**The Road to Nowhere**

In the end, it all comes down to one question: are we just building roads to nowhere? Are we creating infrastructure that's designed for a select few, but ultimately serves no practical purpose? It seems like we're trapped in a never-ending cycle of absurdity, with no clear escape route in sight.

So let's take a step back and reevaluate our priorities. Let's not get caught up in the latest trend, but instead focus on what really matters: making our cities safer and more accessible for everyone. Not just cyclists, but drivers, pedestrians, and public transportation users alike.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enI made myself think over the sound of public transport stop something like an idiot so this is Holland Park in London one of the most beautiful streets in London because of all the trees that lie in it and these are trees that the Mayor of London wanted to pull down to make way for a cycle lane while eating off the man's obviously deranged cut pull trees down so that people can cycle when I know that cycle lanes now are seen as the single most important thing in the world by all those lunatics with five hardened bananas on their head and the little GoPro just coming just now into London on the a40 where they've taken one of the lanes away to make a cycling massive traffic jam resulting from it and stuck in it is an ambulance someone is dying of a heart attack somewhere up in Acton ambulance can't get there because they're building a cycle though we live in absurd times surd in Hyde Park they took half the road away to make a cyclone even though that was already a cycle lane running parallel to at 30 feet away so now there's a choice of cycling linear in mind for its paw paw taxi fan bicycle we're not really advising is whether it's fold away was this ridiculous car and it's a lovely summer's day the imagined people would be so good but he wants to you're sweaty you smell look at him how much is he contributed to the economy today good thing nobody wants to sit next to because of the smell from his armpits and you can't go on those because you get a disease if when you get to work and you cycle there and you need to make up for the calories that you've lost by cycling and you have an avocado that's been flown from I don't know the other side of the world you'd be better off environmentally going to work in a hungry and this information is not coming from my head it's coming from the Guardian newspaper but that's where I found it The Guardian will tell you that cycling means you have to eat to get the calories you need to ride the bicycle is anyone paying any attention to any investment I'm out mr. cycle is good for the environment isn't it it's just ridiculous we're living in a stupid times where people notice a lose it's really important we have cyclists it's the latest thing you know we've got have a cycle it well we're gonna have to drive one through the middle of the Tower of London the air so you must do that pull it down pull it down we must have a cycle lane is where we want water and you know how things are with green stuff he was all by these although you can't have diesels and you saw petaline I'm actually got up behind and kind of I believe they're legit they're gonna do the same so you've got our bus lanes because buses are the most important thing when they look at our bus lanes buses a bad kind of cycle those and then they'll say one day off cycle AIDS because everyone's decided that bicycles are bad for the environment which they are by the way and we've got to use space hoppers and then we'll need space hopper light so everyone can bounce to work and when here's another thing the cycle lane they were gonna build along here okay for the bit miles 42 million pounds that's what they were quoted 40 that's 10 million pounds of elephant just painting a little bicycle on the road it got charged 10 million pounds a mile for that and I told him to off and that's the good thing the council has told him to off even before the consultation period was over there actually said no we're not a cycle lane here it's idiotic and the mayor's arguing with them people are going to be killed yes they are you're absolutely right mr. Matt if you get your cycle lane because it'll be a huge amount of congestion and all the ambulances won't be able to get through and do you know what their solution is to that only as I speak to you today there is August the 2nd some left-wing think tank that advises Corbin's come up with a really good idea which is to ban all private cars from London in the 11 years time so I build a cycle only because of getting on no cars why do you need a segregated cycle why spend 42 million pounds of our money on something which you say you aren't going to need then or off all of them I've sunburned the top of my head today and that's global warming no way it's August that's what it is it's August and I'm well aware a lot of people are going to disagree with what I've said but let's not have a round that's not shouting yells and screams we do on the roads what you do on the roads let's not have a Jeremy Vine moment out there where he films some poor woman who ease inconvenience and then she has to go to prison as a result let's have a debate comment below if you agree with what I've said comment below Ellis let's have an intelligent debate that's not just how youI made myself think over the sound of public transport stop something like an idiot so this is Holland Park in London one of the most beautiful streets in London because of all the trees that lie in it and these are trees that the Mayor of London wanted to pull down to make way for a cycle lane while eating off the man's obviously deranged cut pull trees down so that people can cycle when I know that cycle lanes now are seen as the single most important thing in the world by all those lunatics with five hardened bananas on their head and the little GoPro just coming just now into London on the a40 where they've taken one of the lanes away to make a cycling massive traffic jam resulting from it and stuck in it is an ambulance someone is dying of a heart attack somewhere up in Acton ambulance can't get there because they're building a cycle though we live in absurd times surd in Hyde Park they took half the road away to make a cyclone even though that was already a cycle lane running parallel to at 30 feet away so now there's a choice of cycling linear in mind for its paw paw taxi fan bicycle we're not really advising is whether it's fold away was this ridiculous car and it's a lovely summer's day the imagined people would be so good but he wants to you're sweaty you smell look at him how much is he contributed to the economy today good thing nobody wants to sit next to because of the smell from his armpits and you can't go on those because you get a disease if when you get to work and you cycle there and you need to make up for the calories that you've lost by cycling and you have an avocado that's been flown from I don't know the other side of the world you'd be better off environmentally going to work in a hungry and this information is not coming from my head it's coming from the Guardian newspaper but that's where I found it The Guardian will tell you that cycling means you have to eat to get the calories you need to ride the bicycle is anyone paying any attention to any investment I'm out mr. cycle is good for the environment isn't it it's just ridiculous we're living in a stupid times where people notice a lose it's really important we have cyclists it's the latest thing you know we've got have a cycle it well we're gonna have to drive one through the middle of the Tower of London the air so you must do that pull it down pull it down we must have a cycle lane is where we want water and you know how things are with green stuff he was all by these although you can't have diesels and you saw petaline I'm actually got up behind and kind of I believe they're legit they're gonna do the same so you've got our bus lanes because buses are the most important thing when they look at our bus lanes buses a bad kind of cycle those and then they'll say one day off cycle AIDS because everyone's decided that bicycles are bad for the environment which they are by the way and we've got to use space hoppers and then we'll need space hopper light so everyone can bounce to work and when here's another thing the cycle lane they were gonna build along here okay for the bit miles 42 million pounds that's what they were quoted 40 that's 10 million pounds of elephant just painting a little bicycle on the road it got charged 10 million pounds a mile for that and I told him to off and that's the good thing the council has told him to off even before the consultation period was over there actually said no we're not a cycle lane here it's idiotic and the mayor's arguing with them people are going to be killed yes they are you're absolutely right mr. Matt if you get your cycle lane because it'll be a huge amount of congestion and all the ambulances won't be able to get through and do you know what their solution is to that only as I speak to you today there is August the 2nd some left-wing think tank that advises Corbin's come up with a really good idea which is to ban all private cars from London in the 11 years time so I build a cycle only because of getting on no cars why do you need a segregated cycle why spend 42 million pounds of our money on something which you say you aren't going to need then or off all of them I've sunburned the top of my head today and that's global warming no way it's August that's what it is it's August and I'm well aware a lot of people are going to disagree with what I've said but let's not have a round that's not shouting yells and screams we do on the roads what you do on the roads let's not have a Jeremy Vine moment out there where he films some poor woman who ease inconvenience and then she has to go to prison as a result let's have a debate comment below if you agree with what I've said comment below Ellis let's have an intelligent debate that's not just how you\n"