My Purpose with this Video is Not to Tell You That You Need to Be Productive

I just want to reiterate that my purpose with this video or any other type of video I do is not to tell you that you need to be productive in order to have value. We're not here with that kind of capitalist propaganda that's not my message. My goal is to help people understand that they don't have to let their mood or mental state dictate how their life goes, even if we're talking about a grand scale.

You Don't Have to Let Your Mood Dictate Your Day

I've done this for so many years where I wake up in a bad mood and I just let that bad mood or anxiety dictate how my day is run. And quite honestly, sometimes you just have to let that happen for a while until you're in a place where you can work through it a bit more. But I've gotten to a place now where I'm much more able to consistently get myself out of it and practice getting myself out of it. I think it's really just about practice, like finding coping mechanisms to help me get out of that headspace a little bit.

Finding Balance

I feel like we're always trying to make big changes and we want to see immediate results, but really it's just about those little changes you make and making small progress because small progress adds up to big progress. Eventually, you will see the change when I look back at myself from like a year ago or two years ago, but even just six months ago, if I compare the way that I was able to function then versus the way that I'm able to function now, it's drastically different.

It's because I've been taking little steps over the span of several years to finally get to a place where I'm able to be in this headspace more consistently. So, don't undermine the little things that you do for yourself and the little steps that you take because they do add up, and eventually it's going to look like a lot of progress even if it seems small right now.

Consistency is Key

I think it's really just about finding that balance between taking care of yourself and doing what needs to be done. And I've found that by making small changes every day, I'm able to make significant progress over time. It's not about being perfect; it's about being consistent and showing up for yourself every single day.

That's All I Have

So, I'll just go wash my face, do my skincare routine, get in bed, and probably watch another episode of "While You Were Sleeping" or maybe I'll listen to a little bit of a book tonight or something since I haven't read today. But I hope you all enjoyed watching this video; I hope it was somewhat helpful for you. Maybe if you needed to get some work done, I hope that it motivated you or maybe it was just comforting and I could just be there with you as you try and do some of your work and get some of your work done.

If You'd Like to Follow Me

If you'd like to follow me on any of my social media, all my links are in the description box as always. Thank you all so much for watching this video; I love you all very dearly and I will see you in my next video.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enthat probably looks awful oh actually you know what it's not that bad for not using a mirror  that's pretty good hello hi my name is hannah welcome to my channel so today i have a lot of  work to do and i have a lot of anxiety and those two things don't mesh well well actually yesterday  i really had a lot of work to do but i had so much work to do yet also so much on my mind and so much  anxiety that i was in one of those states where i needed to and wanted to do work but i also knew  i needed a break so i wanted to just like watch something to relax for a little bit but every time  i try to watch something i kept thinking about how much work i had to do so i couldn't watch anything  so then i tried to work but every time i tried to work i get so tired that i tried to watch  something to like take a break and then i kept going back and forth until i got to the point  where i literally just couldn't do anything and instead i just sat there for three hours and  scrolled through tick tock so here we are at today where i have a mountain of work that is piled up  and i have a lot of things to do and less time to do them than i had originally planned so today  we're going to be productive and do a lot of work because i am no longer letting my anxiety and my  insecurities control my life i'm tired of it i'm really tired of it i literally have too much to  do i don't have time for the anxiety i don't have time for the mental illness we have no more room  for this okay so we're not letting this control our lives anymore and we're gonna be productive  and we're gonna do good things today i also wanna add like a caveat because i've mentioned this  before in different videos where i don't think like you have to be productive all the time in  order to like be a good person or a contributing member of society or like a person who has value  in life that's not what i'm saying i'm just saying i literally have things i have to do  and if i don't do them there will be repercussions so i've got to do them and i don't want to let  these things control my life and prevent me from doing the things i want to do i'm not  just trying to be productive for the sake of being productive trying to be productive  because i actually have to be did you hear my arm crack another thing i really need to do is start  like stretching and do some yoga because my body does not get enough movement and it's really bad  that was so embarrassing anyway all that said i have a video that i need to finish editing that  i need to submit for a draft for a sponsor i also have like 10 emails that i've been avoiding for  the past week i really need to respond to and i have to make a thumbnail and plan out some  instagram content and plan out some other video content and i already had a meeting this morning  so like it's actually currently what time where's my phone oh it's right here it's actually 11 59  but i didn't film myself this morning because honestly i wasn't even planning on filming today  but i noticed myself starting to slip back into yesterday's habit of um just sitting there and  scrolling endlessly on instagram and tick tock and i was like you know what i'm gonna film  to keep myself accountable and motivate myself a little bit to actually do some of this work  in a timely manner so i'm less stressed out the rest of this week because that's what's important  doing things ahead of time so that you're not stressed out later as a chronic procrastinator who  has procrastinated literally since the time she was born actually i was born early so technically  i did not procrastinate not my birth at least everything after my birth i procrastinated  but as i've gotten older i have realized how bad procrastinating is like i always knew but  oh my god the other day i finished something that i had a deadline for  like two days before it was due and then i just had like two days of so much more free time and  it was incredible like could not recommend it enough it was amazing doing things ahead of time  unreal what a concept i'm trying to do that more frequently now that is my goal let's start by  finishing up the edits on my video so let's go do that first and then move on to everything else on  my list but before we get any further into the video i want to thank today's sponsor which is  skillshare skillshare is an online learning platform that has thousands of classes on  pretty much any subject you can imagine so whether you're looking for a way to structure your time  a bit better or to develop a new skill skillshare is the perfect place to help you learn any of that  this year i've been working on a lot of different creative projects that have definitely challenged  me artistically so one thing i've been looking to develop is my own like artistic ability and skill  and you all know that i also really love to journal so lately i've been taking this  course called sketchbook illustration for all draw your day with watercolor in pen by samantha dion  baker which is essentially entirely about sketch journaling and i've done things similar to this  before but i've never really focused on the actual like drawing aspect of it since i never really  learned how to draw properly i guess and i thought this would be a really helpful way  to help me develop some of those skills and it's been really really nice focusing a bit more on  artwork because i've never really done that before if you're interested in trying out skillshare for  yourself the first 1000 people to use the link in my description will get a free trial of skillshare  premium membership and after that it's only around 10 a month so once again a huge thank  you to skillshare for sponsoring this video and without any further ado let's get into the vlogit is 1 30 p.m and the video is finally exporting it's exporting do you see that exporting  i'm almost done also here is my to-do list for the day so we have my draft due i have to edit  the video upload the draft make my thumbnail which doesn't necessarily have to be done today  but i'd like to get it done uh these four emails and then i had a meeting which already happened  like i mentioned earlier this morning and that went well so that's done but now i can mark off  edit video since i did that so that's done  so that's one thing less to do today i need to have lunch because i didn't have lunch earlierthis is very random and incredibly specific but does anybody else have this like weird anxiety  about leaving food in the microwave for too long like i will never microwave anything for more than  one minute at a time like if it needs to be warmer i'll put it in again for another minute but like i  can't make it longer than one minute otherwise i'm afraid it's gonna like explode it's donethat feels so satisfying all right hi we're back on my floor so i finally finished uploading the  video submitted the draft checked it off of my to-do list feels so good that was like the main  thing that i really had to do today i just had to send in that draft and it's finally done so that's  a huge weight off my shoulders but now i do have a bunch of emails that i really need to reply to  and um my room does need to be cleaned i have once again another giant pile of clothes on  my chair that need to be put away um so i have things to do here and there but honestly like i  as good as i feel having like finished that major thing i am also like feeling a bit more anxious  right now than i was um before so i think i just spent too much time on instagram in between doing  all of that which has honestly been so bad for my mental health recently like i've always known  that instagram and just social media in general just like is not productive when  i'm not feeling well but it really just like makes me feel like miserable sometimes i get way  too comparative and i think one of the things that i've been definitely trying to focus on  especially this month it's literally one of my goals that i set for myself in this month which  is just to compare myself less to people it's such a bad habit of mine i do it all the time  about like everything about myself and i'm just trying to compare myself a lot less and  it's been really nice every time i'm able to do it but sometimes i just get like way  too caught up and my brain just like focuses on something and i just can't let it go and i feel  like today that's like really happening a lot for me and my brain is just like fixating on things  and trying to compare me to other people or compare my content or my skills or my personality  to other people and it's just not good it's really not good so i keep trying to tell myself that like  life is not a competition and the thing is like i'm not competitive and that's why i hate this  so much that's why i hate when i get like this because i can like feel that it's like societal  influence that it's not even my personality that like makes me feel like i need to compare myself  to everyone and i'm like constantly in competition with everyone when like i'm not like i'm running  my own race this has nothing to do with other people i try my best to just focus on what i'm  doing because like it's my life then that's what matters and that's what i need to be focusing on  and other people are living their own lives and like you don't need to constantly be comparing  how well you're doing to how well somebody else is doing because it's not your business honestly  and it's just not good for you so i'm trying my best to just focus as much as possible on me and  what i'm doing and what i have control over and not the things that i do not have control over  like other people anyway just to give you an idea of where my head's been at for the day right now  i honestly think i need a little bit of a break i don't really feel like um answering those emails  or anything right now and i just did like all that work so i think i deserve a small break so  i think i'm actually gonna go play the piano for a little bit because um i need that relaxation  plus i try to practice the piano not every day i don't do it every single day but as often as i can  it's one of the things i like track in my bullet journal and stuff too so i want to practice that  a little bit so we'll do that for a little and see how that changes my mood hopefully it can  distract me a little bit and refocus my mind back onto the things that i need to be focusing onso playing the piano was super nice actually it got my mind off of a lot of the negative thoughts  that i was having and it distracted me for a good bit which was really nice but anyway i'm still  really just not feeling answering any of those emails i still like need more time away from doing  like real work things so i'm gonna substitute doing the work i need to do by doing housework  cause that's what i always do and i'm finally gonna clean off this pile of clothes on my chair  it keeps showing up i really don't know what to do about it like i clean it up and then it  immediately just like appears again i mean i know the solution is literally just to put my clothes  away immediately after i change out of them but like am i ever gonna do that probably not anyway  so for now i'm going to clean it up and while i do that um usually i'll listen to like an audio book  or music or something but recently i have been re-watching uh while you were sleeping which is  a k drama that i absolutely love so i kind of want to like watch that while i do this  i know i have to like read the subtitles like actually understand it but i've seen it before  so like it's okay also i've watched so many k dramas that i'm like starting to pick up like  words and phrases in korean and like i can like have a vague understanding of the  conversation that's being held even if i'm not looking at the screen or reading the subtitles  so i might accidentally learn korean from watching way too many k dramas  you know something good can come out of it anyway i love this show so much it's so good and every  time i like think about it i like i always think i like it less than i actually do and then like i  think about what happens and then i watch it again and i'm like no honestly this could be my favorite  k drama i've seen it's so good and it's hands down one of my favorite shows of all time so yeah i'm  gonna watch another episode of that let me find it first the other show i could watch is true  beauty because the last two episodes are supposed to come out today and tomorrow but i watch it with  my sister so i have to wait for her so i can't watch that right now which unrelated to absolutely  everything i am obsessed with true beauty i have literally planned out i don't even know if i'm  actually gonna film this but i've planned out an entire video about true beauty because like  i don't know how to explain to you that show is like perfection it's literally a perfect show  it's one of the funniest things i've ever seen in my entire life and it's pure shakespeare the video  i have planned in mind is literally called true beauty is pure shakespeare because like it is it's  so good it's such a good show anyway okay drama rant over i'm gonna watch while you were sleeping  while i put my clothes away and get some of this done before i move on to other thingsall right so in the midst of um trying to clean out my chair i ended up  uh just throwing all my shoes around for some unknown reasonokay i just need to show this scene for a second to explain why i love kdrama  romances so much because they just perfectly understand the yearning that i am looking for  when i'm watching a romance show or reading a romance book or whatever like when i want romance  in my media this is the type of yearning i want it's that pride and prejudice like  our hands can barely touch type of yearning and just watch this scene  oh are we kidding are we kidding are we kidding that's that's what i want that's what i alwayswant okay we went outside braved the cold for a minute because the plum blossom tree outside  of our house is blooming and the flowers are so pretty and the sun is setting so the sky looks  really pretty so i took some pictures of it and um yeah that was my little outdoor adventure for  the day literally going into my backyard anyway i cleaned my chair as you can tell it's all clean  and nice and i can actually sit on it which is so nice i literally love this chair so much i  sit here all the time with like this pillow on my lap and just like work here because i don't have a  desk so this is literally my desk anyway i'm glad that's finally done um i still have to reply to my  emails they're not all like urgent urgent like i don't have to reply to all of them today but like  it would be nice to so i'm gonna try and at least get through like half of them i think i have four  or five i'm going to try and do like three and see how i feel after that sometimes once i get  the momentum of emails it's a lot easier to answer them but like i have this and i know this is like  a common thing online a lot of people talk about it but i have this like terrible email anxiety  where i just like put them off forever because i just hate replying to emails i hate it so much it  gives me so much anxiety like every time i get an email i instantly open it because i hate having  like the notification that i have an email i instantly open it and then i just like don't reply  for at least like three to five business days like if it's a problem i've been like super grateful to  some of my friends because they like will help me write my emails i will like facetime them or call  them or something and just be like i don't know how to reply to this i want to say this and this  but i like don't know how to like word that in an email and then they'll like type it out as  i'm talking to them and then send it back to me and they help me out with my emails so like thank  you to my friends you know who you are for helping me do that it helps me so much and ever since like  that it's been a lot easier for me to like finally write out my own emails more consistently because  like i can do it it's just like getting myself to do it and getting over the anxiety of it but  it has gotten a lot easier so um yeah i think i'm gonna try and reply to a few of those emails now  hopefully we can finish that off and then honestly i still have to make my thumbnail and stuff but  i'm going to call it a day like i i don't have the energy for that today um i have plenty of  time tomorrow to make my thumbnails so yeah let's try and get through some of those emails and then  i won't have to think about them as much and then i'll feel a lot better can she get through these  emails stay tuned to find out sent email one is sent okay that's one down like four more to gosending it i'm done overthinking  just sending it i did it i finished the emails okay mind you i still have like a few more to  answer but they weren't the ones that were on my list so i finished every single email on my list  plus an extra email which i was not planning on answering so six emails and i'm done i'm literally  done i did have dinner and stuff in the meantime as well so it's been a little bit since i updated  you all but i'm just so happy i'm done hang on i gotta sit up this is getting uncomfortableokay but yeah i finished all the emails that were on my to-do list i finished literally everything  that was on my to-do list today except making my thumbnail for my video which is fine like i can  easily do that tomorrow i don't have any other plans tomorrow especially now that i filmed this  today and i was planning to film this tomorrow i even filmed this today so like got ahead like  seriously got ahead which is so nice because i did not think i would be able to do this  like i mentioned i've just been feeling so anxious and so stressed out for the past like  couple of days and it just feels so nice to actually get work done ahead of time also all  my hair is like falling out of my clip and just coming undone so don't mind this disheveled look  but yeah i ended up getting so much done today and i'm so so glad about it um i also  took like decent enough breaks throughout the day too and everything was like spread out well  so i feel really good um i can take as much of a break as i want tomorrow i really don't have  much to do which is super nice because i need a day of just like doing nothing um so that'll be  really good i'll be able to relax and take the time i need to plan some other stuff  out a little bit but yeah i'm glad today was as productive as it was and again like i mentioned  at the beginning of this video i just like want to reiterate that my purpose with this video or  any other type of video i do that's like this is not to like say that you need to be productive  in order to have value we're not here with that like capitalist propaganda that's not my message  here okay the moral of this video and the general message that i would like to get across to people  is that you do not have to let your mood or your mental state or mental illness depending  on whatever you're dealing with dictate how your life goes or how your day goes even if we don't  want to look at it on a grand scale you just want to look at it on a smaller scale you don't have  to let it dictate the way that your day goes i've done this for so many years where i wake  up in a bad mood and i just let that bad mood or that anxiety or whatever it is that day dictate  how my day is run and quite honestly sometimes you just have to let that happen for a while until  you're in a place where you can work through it a bit more and i've definitely let it run my life  for a very long time but i've gotten to a place now where i'm much more able to consistently like  get myself out of it and practice getting myself out of it and i think it's really just like  practice of getting yourself out of it like the anxiety doesn't go away obviously like halfway  through this day i got super anxious and really like unmotivated and unproductive but i was able  to find coping mechanisms to help me get out of that head space a little bit and still be able  to do some things and i think it's just working to find that balance of those two things and finding  that balance allows you to take just little steps towards getting to a better place and i think it's  those little steps that matter the most sometimes i feel like we're always trying to make like  big changes and we want to see like immediate results but really it's just about like the little  changes you make and making just small progress because small progress adds up to big progress  and eventually you will see the change when i look at myself from like a year ago and two years ago  but even just a year ago even just six months ago if i compare the way that i was able to function  then versus the way that i'm able to function now it's like drastically different and it's because  i've been taking little steps over the span of several years to finally get to a place where i'm  able to be in this headspace more consistently now so do not undermine the little things that  you do for yourself and the little steps that you take because they do add up and eventually  it's going to look like a lot of progress even if it seems small right now anyway that's all i have  for this video i'm literally just gonna go wash my face do my skincare routine get in bed and  probably watch another episode of while you were sleeping or maybe i'll listen to a little bit of  a book tonight or something since i haven't read today but i hope you all enjoyed watching this  video i hope it was somewhat helpful for you maybe if you needed to get some work done i hope that it  motivated you or maybe it was just comforting and i could just be there with you as you try and do  some of your work and get some of your work done so yeah i hope you enjoyed if you'd like to follow  me on any of my social media all my links are in the description box as always but thank you all so  much for watching this video i love you all very dearly and i will see you in my next video byemy arms are too short i can barely reach the camerayou\n"