I really wanted to go to this movie premiere and I had planned it perfectly that I was going to sneak out and go, but you know I had a very strict bedtime, 10 o'clock. So I went to bed I waited to hear my dad and my stepmom go to bed, I slept in my bed with my clothes on because I was ready. When the time comes and I hear them close the door and all it's quiet for a while, I slowly get out of bed. You know it's squeaking but I'm like being real careful about it and like I'm tiptoeing as carefully as I can.
Before I left just in case they came in my room and were wondering where I was, I left a little note, I'll come back to that note later because it's important, but like I'll get it at the end. So I sneak out of the house, I don't go out the front door, I go out the back door. It's not like our doors had like beep beep alarms or anything, but I just thought the front door was not sneaky enough, not too obvious. Yeah, that's right, sure.
So I sneak out the back, we have a sliding door in the back and it also is like way squeakier and way louder, you know how sliding doors are when they're old and they got dirt in there, it's like an earthquake, exactly. I sneak out the back and I creep around the side but I don't go around the side where my parents' bedroom is because they could see me, even though there's no windows that look out the side yard, when actually the other way I went around the other way through the gravel, the very loud crunchy gravel.
So I should sneak out the side and I get in the car and for some reason my dumb ass didn't put it in neutral and like roll it out of the driveway, no. I just turned that baby on in the driveway and then I flip the lights for some reason, like just blasting the house with lights, I'm like oh, I waited a few minutes in the car, like I was waiting for the comedy, like light in my parents' bedroom to turn on, what was that? So sneaky.
Then I roll the car out of the driveway and I drive to the movie theater. At this point I had taken so long to get out of the house so I get to the movie theater and there's no line or nothing it's like because everyone's in the theater watching the movie, and so I didn't know where they were, I don't think I had a cell phone at this point, so I couldn't text them and say hey, I'm here, which theater are you in? So what I did was I poked my head in every single one of the theaters, leaned over and just kind of scanned the crowd for a bit.
And like people were like looking at me all Shifty, like what come on with this guy, and I'm like where are you, Smithers, where are you. And so not that theater, so I go over to the next theater, and I'm catching like snippets of Harry Potter as I go into like the rooms, one at a time, and I go into every single movie theater and I could not find Smithers no matter how hard I looked.
At that point it got so far into the movie I was just like man, I'm missing out on the movie. So I just went into a random ass theater and just sat in one of the handicapped seats, and it was like I might as well watch it, I'm here. Smithers was nowhere to be seen so I I go back into my car and I'm like standing around and I wait until everyone leaves the parking lot.
I'm like oh okay, they're not here, I'm all alone, I'm gonna drive back home snuck it into the driveway. I retrace my steps going back through the gravel path and in through the sliding door which I had left unlocked. Sneak up to my room and I just look at the note that I wrote.
It was the stupidest note because it said like Dad, comma, I know you're probably worried about me but don't be. I snuck out to go see Smithers at the movie theater. I know you probably think less of me for this but just know that I did it for love. Signed I think I wrote sincerely Mark.
A note from a son to his father, detailing his elaborate plan and execution of sneaking out of the house to attend a movie premiere. The young man's desire to see Smithers at the film is clear, despite knowing it will likely disappoint or embarrass him.