It's Just Me But It's Not: Reflections on a Complicated Drive

It's been thirty-two days since I last drove, and I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong. The car has always been my passion project, but lately, it's felt like I've lost touch with what makes me happy behind the wheel. As I reflect on my driving skills, I realize that I've become too focused on following other drivers, rather than leading the way.

I feel like a follower, not a leader. When given an empty slate, I'm unsure of what to do next. My leads are inconsistent, and I often find myself reacting to the cars around me instead of taking control. It's as if I've lost my confidence behind the wheel. I try to brush it off, telling myself that I'll get better with practice, but deep down, I know there's more to it than that.

As I pulled up to the track, I felt a mix of emotions. Excitement and nervousness wrestled for dominance as I prepared to put my skills to the test. My car, an R32, has been a labor of love, and I've poured every ounce of effort into making it purr like a well-oiled machine. But despite all the hard work, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

The competition was fierce, with several skilled drivers vying for the top spot. I took my time, warming up my tires and getting accustomed to the car's dynamics. As the green flag waved, I settled into a rhythm, my eyes scanning the track ahead. The adrenaline rush was palpable as I swooped and dived through the turns, my heart pounding in my chest.

I managed to snag a few top spots, but it wasn't without its challenges. A few missteps on the track left me feeling frustrated, but I refused to give up. I've come too far and sacrificed too much time to let a little setback like that get the best of me. As I crossed the finish line, I felt a sense of satisfaction wash over me – I may not have driven my best, but I'd given it my all.

Pat's Pro Tips and Tricks

I couldn't have done it without Pat, who provided invaluable insights and guidance throughout the competition. His expertise was invaluable, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to work with him. From adjusting the suspension to fine-tuning the engine, Pat's suggestions helped me coax out the best performance from my R32.

As we worked together, I realized that Pat's approach is all about staying cool under pressure. He'd done two hot laps with this car in previous events, which was a testament to his skill and confidence behind the wheel. It was a bit of a wake-up call for me – if I could get my head in the game like Pat did, maybe I wouldn't be so rattled by the competition.

A Conversation with My Girlfriend

As I sat down to talk to my girlfriend about the day's events, I couldn't help but feel a little sheepish. She'd been riding shotgun for most of the comp, offering words of encouragement and advice when needed. I confessed that I was feeling a bit uncertain behind the wheel, and she quickly put me at ease.

"It's okay, babe," she said with a smile. "You did great out there. You just need to trust yourself and your car." Her confidence was infectious, and I found myself feeling more positive about my performance. As we talked, I realized that this event wasn't just about me – it was about the journey, the growth, and the lessons learned along the way.

The Car: A Work in Progress

One thing's for certain – my R32 is a work of art. With its sleek design and precision engineering, it's a machine that turns heads on the track. But despite all its capabilities, there are still areas where I'd like to improve.

I've been tinkering with the suspension and engine settings, trying to fine-tune the car for optimal performance. The results have been promising so far – the handling is tighter than ever, and the acceleration is a real treat. As I continue to work on my driving skills, I know that this car will be right there with me every step of the way.

A Little Humor from the Front Row

As I wrapped up the video, I couldn't resist throwing in a little joke for good measure. "Not a fan of new servers," I quipped, "but things look pretty cool." My crew chuckled along with me, but deep down, they knew that this was more than just a lighthearted comment – it was about embracing change and finding the humor in unexpected situations.

And so, as I signed off on the video and shut down my camera, I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. It may not have been the most polished performance, but I'd given it my all, and that's all anyone can ask for. As I looked over at my R32, parked proudly in its spot, I knew that we'd be back out on the track again soon – ready to take on whatever challenges came our way.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enI've been listening you guys and we're back on the nice camera for today I'll usually have to just edit the sound quality a little bit and play with the colors but I know if you guys like this better than my other camera doesn't focus so we're here at Thomson motor speedway and they do a thing here called their street series that's kind of like Losey street-legal a little bit more lenient on rules but the premise is kind of people drive in street cars with full interior and just kind of like a chill calm so this was what gave me motivation to finish the r32 because i thought it was really cool that they were doing this up here and I didn't really have a car for it so I was thinking about you know building something until I talked and found out that my r32 would be eligible because it still does have an RB etc even though some swap cars are allowed it's kind of just more like a chill calm that's not as serious as pro-am but yeah so the weather's beautiful that seems like it might rain but I'm excited you ready are you ready my doors blown in by you today I hope that we can drive together that'd be so I know like cuz you're gonna knock me off first round and all these so please second round I'll be happy if we meet yeah yeah yeah there's like I can I can live with getting knocked out stick around we're gonna have fun yeah I hope you knock me out I hope my car blows up no I don't hope that I don't hope that I can it like the only time you ever ever cup sorry you're good is when your car breaks up yeah and that only ever happens in the f-15 can I show you mine too did I show you them - yes okay can I tell you in person I'm so proud of it so I didn't show you guys any of this yesterday I I don't know but I'm just gonna show you maybe a lot more they did it come from what all the parts and stuff yeah so check out the floor mats I got from Tommy who's real yeah what is it oh there's like their new logo they're not old ogre the old ugly ones he want a lot of money for and they didn't have the cool logo no I like that it works with the colors so I got these these boots from Tommy he got them from mines in Japan and I guess I had a fake Nismo knob so I got that and I they're called gears removers you're okay what is Gator what is called Gator the poop we call them the boot so oh yeah because that would be there that'll be their trunk yeah I had a hard time finding one for 36 but I got all mine too kind of lookin dialed in so I'm pretty happy with it one thing that I always love about the Northeast events the level of cars up here they're always like very clean and a little bit different from what we normally see this thing's jump Jimi Oaks car but yeah so in the Northeast people have a little bit more time over the winter usually to make their cars really pretty on offseason so you get a lot of really really cool builds here like this thing you can pay to rent out some of the babies in here so you'll see some of the real pretty cars are chilling in here so much nice stuff then three homies over here Josh's new setup looks so rad so first time out on track with the dirty Jew a long time curious how she hangs they're Cohen's college so going down from third in two seconds a bit funky there's a lot of stuff on the track that I'm trying to avoid take down cones and stuff I'm just curious how the thing is going to do temp lies a little too hot sure seems okay definitely not used to has been a while since driving it but it does everything that I've expected to do so that's cool so we just confirmed that after the extended drift usage we saw very very little blowback compared to what this guy used to make so I'm gonna give her a little bit more sauce on this next one be a little bit more abusive on everything but mainly I think I'm gonna try just keeping in second on that entry because going into third adds another another another variable of MIS shifting so I rather just keep it a little conservative even if I have a little bit less speed on the run I think it'll be a lot safer that way I kind of run out of wheel speed to cut the end of them I guess I'm falling slow and slower I would probably just leave it in second this thing is sick we just threw it mega backwards in it it like took it she's a good girl a little bit too backwards this thing is thick man this is a good time I need to not cook it so hard though I'm cooking a little bit too much juice just a little bit too much I'm having fun I was on stole from outside cuz I don't think I've ever backwards entry this car so hard a little too much sauce thing is so good Clark felt phenomenal but unfortunately it looks like this is gonna be another rain comp here in Connecticut's not like Florida where we get instant dryness after rain Sloane it's gonna be wet for a while but the car fumes stick I don't get how I can take out some of those back jeez I wish I had footage from outside out there we were definitely hooking it that's hail guys that is legit hail what the heck I open structure to get damaged I don't know about a lecture that is hell what the heck it doesn't hail in Connecticut jeez you just barely see the little help evel's so we are actually so we're actually sitting in the top qualifying spot right now so this one is just for the crowd have some fun okay as much speed as we can that was fun how'd you like that I was crazy yeah get in he was like you're in the top qualifying spot so just have fun and I was like all right this car is so good I don't know how I can drive out of something like that I wish we had like a an audience cam for you really in our first battles up against a big turbo 1jz Cressida so bad all the white four doors the tracks pretty wet but it's starting to dry up and get a little patchy start slow but the setup that we've got on right now a shoot party so I'm ready to rip having trouble with the entry with Adam OC not having any trouble at all guys kind of one of my worst fears the gopro literally died right before that run so I wasn't able to record it but um if you didn't see on the outside footage I pretty much spun and somehow saved it definitely got lucky there so anyway I'm about to go out against his yellow s13 it was a pretty fast driver I don't know what the setup is but it sounds like and I started similar to my SR so I'll go some fun I smacked my pork order that change in track material kind of screwed me up I might lose this one but we're just driving stupid on my lead runs for the entire track I love you guys this track is so tricky right now I was doing I love you all right how are we going up against next man I keep entering like junk I kind of feel bad the track keeps changing I guess it's not just me I feel like it's just me but it's not it's been thirty-two skyline for long that's okay driving has been like kinda all over the place like which I'm stepping up a little bit of dirt here at the end I'm not sure if Tom also went off at the end but I actually did one spot in our final round here you see which way can he go the arm I feel like I'm a very I'm I'm very confident in my following ability but my leads are very inconsistent I feel like a lot of it is like I'm very reactionary when I follow people I can very easily mimic what they do but when I'm just given like an empty slate I'm kind of like what do I do so I guess that makes me a follower not a leader right all right we'll spit some bars as we're pulling up the grid check me with my gas cans sipping on the lid as a drink that gas ignite 85 watch me ride as I slide am i r32 girls coming over and what they want to do I don't know yo girl probably is oh I don't screw up girls like her no no all right guys that was my bars for today all right bye all right top to read s13 our 32 battle of the Nissan winning for everyone here to show us how it's done good save I probably should have popped third on that entry kind of ran out of gearing and ii got gapped a little bit so it made me bobble a little bit but I'll give you some follow in setting fashion take off folks exciting passing we clean this route to drivers did a great job I had a great time so I did end up coming home with the win with this thing and I'm very very happy thanks to the help of Pat spottin let me know all the tricks and tips of the track because it was pretty spotty oh yeah he was all that pro filming I was Pat so if it was great make sure you guys go follow him and give him likes comments and subscribes hi sorry oh is that my sweatshirt from last night you can drive it ah this weekend yeah I got your dog yeah we'll figure it out so anyway this although it may not have been like the craziest comp because of the rain and like all the pagination I don't feel like I drove my best this was an amazing test of our 32 because this car used to have so many issues to where I didn't even enjoy driving in this event today Pat you see me drive a lot of cars is this not a cheater car I've never been so happy with a car blow-by is virtually eliminated if you don't remember we fix that because we found out it was like basically ring gaped like a drag car so with the tighter ring gap it seems to be pretty solid the response is good I think I do have a wondering cast I'll have to address that and I don't know likewise wasn't really bad but the main thing is staying cool I could do two hot laps with this car over I probably couldn't even do one before and the car didn't even get anywhere near 200 which is amazing I'm actually thinking about turning this kind of into like a demo car so when I do like the bigger events like hyperfest and grid life I'll Drive the r32 instead of s 15 which is super high maintenance and maybe we can put four people in it if I do a cage and buckets I don't know what the deal with this car is going to be but all I can say is all the work and effort and everything that's been put into this car it feels really really good to know that it paid off and the cars are solid as it is I'm happy with it it seemed to have be happy with me I guess I don't know I was gonna close the video here but I feel like the vibe is a little weird so I'll just close it out somewhere else hey guess what guy the joke's on you not a fan of new servers but things really pretty but that's a new fan you know what's weird though it looks really bad on camera but it actually looks good in person looking camera looks like a camera with a wing in yellow breaks not the same same problem you know definitely not the smartest thing in the world but for whatever reason I thought it'd be a bright idea to go Tommy shot Dumber only in the morning so I could take the hour 32 home cuz I wanted to drive her home I don't know why I just felt like driving it tonight so anyway was a great day I love this car I'm excited to get even more dialed in and already is hope you guys enjoyed the video I'm soaking a little back use that I did with this guy this girl no she is she my girlfriend maybe my girlfriend please thanks goodbye when you sayI've been listening you guys and we're back on the nice camera for today I'll usually have to just edit the sound quality a little bit and play with the colors but I know if you guys like this better than my other camera doesn't focus so we're here at Thomson motor speedway and they do a thing here called their street series that's kind of like Losey street-legal a little bit more lenient on rules but the premise is kind of people drive in street cars with full interior and just kind of like a chill calm so this was what gave me motivation to finish the r32 because i thought it was really cool that they were doing this up here and I didn't really have a car for it so I was thinking about you know building something until I talked and found out that my r32 would be eligible because it still does have an RB etc even though some swap cars are allowed it's kind of just more like a chill calm that's not as serious as pro-am but yeah so the weather's beautiful that seems like it might rain but I'm excited you ready are you ready my doors blown in by you today I hope that we can drive together that'd be so I know like cuz you're gonna knock me off first round and all these so please second round I'll be happy if we meet yeah yeah yeah there's like I can I can live with getting knocked out stick around we're gonna have fun yeah I hope you knock me out I hope my car blows up no I don't hope that I don't hope that I can it like the only time you ever ever cup sorry you're good is when your car breaks up yeah and that only ever happens in the f-15 can I show you mine too did I show you them - yes okay can I tell you in person I'm so proud of it so I didn't show you guys any of this yesterday I I don't know but I'm just gonna show you maybe a lot more they did it come from what all the parts and stuff yeah so check out the floor mats I got from Tommy who's real yeah what is it oh there's like their new logo they're not old ogre the old ugly ones he want a lot of money for and they didn't have the cool logo no I like that it works with the colors so I got these these boots from Tommy he got them from mines in Japan and I guess I had a fake Nismo knob so I got that and I they're called gears removers you're okay what is Gator what is called Gator the poop we call them the boot so oh yeah because that would be there that'll be their trunk yeah I had a hard time finding one for 36 but I got all mine too kind of lookin dialed in so I'm pretty happy with it one thing that I always love about the Northeast events the level of cars up here they're always like very clean and a little bit different from what we normally see this thing's jump Jimi Oaks car but yeah so in the Northeast people have a little bit more time over the winter usually to make their cars really pretty on offseason so you get a lot of really really cool builds here like this thing you can pay to rent out some of the babies in here so you'll see some of the real pretty cars are chilling in here so much nice stuff then three homies over here Josh's new setup looks so rad so first time out on track with the dirty Jew a long time curious how she hangs they're Cohen's college so going down from third in two seconds a bit funky there's a lot of stuff on the track that I'm trying to avoid take down cones and stuff I'm just curious how the thing is going to do temp lies a little too hot sure seems okay definitely not used to has been a while since driving it but it does everything that I've expected to do so that's cool so we just confirmed that after the extended drift usage we saw very very little blowback compared to what this guy used to make so I'm gonna give her a little bit more sauce on this next one be a little bit more abusive on everything but mainly I think I'm gonna try just keeping in second on that entry because going into third adds another another another variable of MIS shifting so I rather just keep it a little conservative even if I have a little bit less speed on the run I think it'll be a lot safer that way I kind of run out of wheel speed to cut the end of them I guess I'm falling slow and slower I would probably just leave it in second this thing is sick we just threw it mega backwards in it it like took it she's a good girl a little bit too backwards this thing is thick man this is a good time I need to not cook it so hard though I'm cooking a little bit too much juice just a little bit too much I'm having fun I was on stole from outside cuz I don't think I've ever backwards entry this car so hard a little too much sauce thing is so good Clark felt phenomenal but unfortunately it looks like this is gonna be another rain comp here in Connecticut's not like Florida where we get instant dryness after rain Sloane it's gonna be wet for a while but the car fumes stick I don't get how I can take out some of those back jeez I wish I had footage from outside out there we were definitely hooking it that's hail guys that is legit hail what the heck I open structure to get damaged I don't know about a lecture that is hell what the heck it doesn't hail in Connecticut jeez you just barely see the little help evel's so we are actually so we're actually sitting in the top qualifying spot right now so this one is just for the crowd have some fun okay as much speed as we can that was fun how'd you like that I was crazy yeah get in he was like you're in the top qualifying spot so just have fun and I was like all right this car is so good I don't know how I can drive out of something like that I wish we had like a an audience cam for you really in our first battles up against a big turbo 1jz Cressida so bad all the white four doors the tracks pretty wet but it's starting to dry up and get a little patchy start slow but the setup that we've got on right now a shoot party so I'm ready to rip having trouble with the entry with Adam OC not having any trouble at all guys kind of one of my worst fears the gopro literally died right before that run so I wasn't able to record it but um if you didn't see on the outside footage I pretty much spun and somehow saved it definitely got lucky there so anyway I'm about to go out against his yellow s13 it was a pretty fast driver I don't know what the setup is but it sounds like and I started similar to my SR so I'll go some fun I smacked my pork order that change in track material kind of screwed me up I might lose this one but we're just driving stupid on my lead runs for the entire track I love you guys this track is so tricky right now I was doing I love you all right how are we going up against next man I keep entering like junk I kind of feel bad the track keeps changing I guess it's not just me I feel like it's just me but it's not it's been thirty-two skyline for long that's okay driving has been like kinda all over the place like which I'm stepping up a little bit of dirt here at the end I'm not sure if Tom also went off at the end but I actually did one spot in our final round here you see which way can he go the arm I feel like I'm a very I'm I'm very confident in my following ability but my leads are very inconsistent I feel like a lot of it is like I'm very reactionary when I follow people I can very easily mimic what they do but when I'm just given like an empty slate I'm kind of like what do I do so I guess that makes me a follower not a leader right all right we'll spit some bars as we're pulling up the grid check me with my gas cans sipping on the lid as a drink that gas ignite 85 watch me ride as I slide am i r32 girls coming over and what they want to do I don't know yo girl probably is oh I don't screw up girls like her no no all right guys that was my bars for today all right bye all right top to read s13 our 32 battle of the Nissan winning for everyone here to show us how it's done good save I probably should have popped third on that entry kind of ran out of gearing and ii got gapped a little bit so it made me bobble a little bit but I'll give you some follow in setting fashion take off folks exciting passing we clean this route to drivers did a great job I had a great time so I did end up coming home with the win with this thing and I'm very very happy thanks to the help of Pat spottin let me know all the tricks and tips of the track because it was pretty spotty oh yeah he was all that pro filming I was Pat so if it was great make sure you guys go follow him and give him likes comments and subscribes hi sorry oh is that my sweatshirt from last night you can drive it ah this weekend yeah I got your dog yeah we'll figure it out so anyway this although it may not have been like the craziest comp because of the rain and like all the pagination I don't feel like I drove my best this was an amazing test of our 32 because this car used to have so many issues to where I didn't even enjoy driving in this event today Pat you see me drive a lot of cars is this not a cheater car I've never been so happy with a car blow-by is virtually eliminated if you don't remember we fix that because we found out it was like basically ring gaped like a drag car so with the tighter ring gap it seems to be pretty solid the response is good I think I do have a wondering cast I'll have to address that and I don't know likewise wasn't really bad but the main thing is staying cool I could do two hot laps with this car over I probably couldn't even do one before and the car didn't even get anywhere near 200 which is amazing I'm actually thinking about turning this kind of into like a demo car so when I do like the bigger events like hyperfest and grid life I'll Drive the r32 instead of s 15 which is super high maintenance and maybe we can put four people in it if I do a cage and buckets I don't know what the deal with this car is going to be but all I can say is all the work and effort and everything that's been put into this car it feels really really good to know that it paid off and the cars are solid as it is I'm happy with it it seemed to have be happy with me I guess I don't know I was gonna close the video here but I feel like the vibe is a little weird so I'll just close it out somewhere else hey guess what guy the joke's on you not a fan of new servers but things really pretty but that's a new fan you know what's weird though it looks really bad on camera but it actually looks good in person looking camera looks like a camera with a wing in yellow breaks not the same same problem you know definitely not the smartest thing in the world but for whatever reason I thought it'd be a bright idea to go Tommy shot Dumber only in the morning so I could take the hour 32 home cuz I wanted to drive her home I don't know why I just felt like driving it tonight so anyway was a great day I love this car I'm excited to get even more dialed in and already is hope you guys enjoyed the video I'm soaking a little back use that I did with this guy this girl no she is she my girlfriend maybe my girlfriend please thanks goodbye when you say\n"