Getting Stuff Done, but Feeling Meh About It

I'm getting stuff done, but I don't feel really great about it. I didn't end up getting to post my Patreon exclusive reading Vlog because I haven't read for it yet, so I need to do that over the next few days. This means that I'll have some extra content coming your way soon, but I'm not feeling super excited about it.

Not Starting My Age Gap Vlog

I didn't post a video today, which is no surprise given how I'm feeling. I did mention earlier that my Age Gap Vlog was supposed to go live on Wednesday, so you know I'm not feeling great and I feel like I need to come up with a game plan to get back on track. The good news is that by not posting a video today, I will have two Vlogs on my agenda, which means I'm ahead of schedule technically.

Feeling Paralyzed

I think I'm just constantly slightly unsatisfied with whatever plan I come up with and maybe my plans for myself are too strict. But I do know what I need – a weekly schedule that works for me again and gives me something to look forward to, like a treat or a toy or a War of some kind. This is because, even when you enjoy doing things, you don't always want to do them, especially when there's too much other life stuff going on.

Planning with Hayden

My game plan for today is to sit down with Hayden and kind of talk about our goals for the month. He did such a good job last month with his goal of walking the dogs every day and exercising every day. I didn't keep myself accountable, so it would be nice to revisit that idea for September and come up with a new plan.

New Lens and Co-Pilot

We've got a new co-pilot in the back, not loving how we look on this new lens specifically. It's not great for any of us, but I'm here to close out the Vlog and tell people that I don't know how to read books – it runs in the family unfortunately.

Reading Habits

I did try to read a book recently, but I didn't finish it. The idea of it was interesting, but I just didn't feel like I needed to finish it expeditiously. There's something about romance that moves too quickly for me, and maybe I'll pick it up again at some point.

Cats and Disney

Spencer is going to be watching our cats next week, which is why she's here today. So, I'm going to keep a real good eye on them, making sure they're both happy and healthy. She also brought her cat, so we might get some beautiful footage of all six boys playing – fingers crossed.

Working Hard

I'm gearing up for a real harrowing week actually work-wise. It's not my thing, but I know it needs to be done. That's all for today; thanks much for watching and stay tuned next week – it'll be funner, I promise!

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enopen side by side we sway there in all the colors some Lo folded on the lawn chair in all the colors Sumer remember when we were we getting nowhere fast when the garden won't stop giving back honey fresh Cass I could really use some this video is kindly sponsored by parade I am super excited to be working with parade on today's video parade is an inclusive woman-owned brand that makes sustainable affordable and high quality basics for everyone I was super excited when PR reached out because it was high time that I upgrade some of my underwear I am neglectful and I'm sure some of y'all are as well I feel like I have had the same underwear kind of like languishing in my drawers for a while and I needed to kind of like upgrade things refresh things you should be refreshing things like fairly often in my humble opinion when it comes to undergarments raid makes some incredible stuff in a variety of different textures and fabrics and I was super excited to be able to like pick out various things from the site in my preferred color one way that I like to like simplify my life personally is to have all of my underwear in the same color you'll notice that the items that I I have picked out and the items I've been using over the past few weeks are all in black I really love black I like that it makes getting ready easy in the morning and everything kind of mixes and matches really well the items that I have been loving the most are the perfect lace plunge bralette which is accommodating even for bigger cup sizes I might not look like it but I am a bigger cup-sized girly so I really need something that's going to support me and uh give me good coverage I really like this bralette too because it covers like even the sides of my boobs I personally don't like my boobs like spilling over the sides of any sort of cup and this is so comfortable so sexy and really cute let me see if I can like get up close so you can actually see the detail but that lace star detail is super soft super comfortable and it's something that I personally feel comfortable wearing all day and I also love the thong which matches perfectly it's a nice high cut which is something that I personally really like I think it's really flattering and very comfy and then I also kind of branched out into a fabric and a material that I don't typically pick and that would be satin I really love the glow Luxe satin that parade does it is super silky soft and it's made from soft recycled fibers so this is the Luminous lace triangle bralette I don't know if you can see how pretty the details are I will get some nice b-roll in here so you can actually see what this looks like again super supportive it's got the perfect band on the bottom to give you a little bit of support no underwire of course and then to match I got the radiant glow flutter cheeky I decided to Branch out a little bit and not just get a thong to accompany that bralette and these are so so cute on and they look really really cute with that bralette so like I said I have been wearing these beautiful bra and panty combos over the past couple of weeks and I will say it has been such a confidence booster have things that feel really really incredible on the body and that also fit me very well again I got all of these items in the color eightball which is their black color but I think one of the most fun things about parade is that they do have a variety of colors as well if you're looking to like mix and match or you're someone who's like into be slightly more exciting color combos than I am um but again I like that parade is accommodating to like whatever you are looking for like to try parade out for yourself they are offering my audience 25% off with code Chandler 25 and that code is good sitewide I believe there's no order minimum as well leave a link in the description obviously to parade again use the code trer 25 and I'll also leave a link to all of my favorites that I picked out from parade you definitely deserve to treat yourself thanks again to parade for sponsoring this portion of today's video hello welcome back to my channel hello from my beautiful clippies it is Tuesday the Tuesday after Labor Day when I am starting this here Vlog I am in my favorite spot to do some makeup I already did my Foundation concealer and powder which is why I'm looking particularly ghostly I love starting off my Vlogs here you know I was thinking about this today what makes something cozy comforting tradition that I like continue to do in every video or it makes it boring so y'all let me know if you find this segment of the Vlogs boring and maybe I will do something a little different in the future but I don't know for me I just love starting my weeks my Vlogs here so that's what I'm going to do for this video I feel like I have a fair amount to update y'all on and that's kind of why I wanted to sit here I feel like at the beginning of the week I always have stuff that's going on and stuff to say and I will say the first thing I'm going to update you on is that I am proud of myself for once in my life that's okay that's a bit of an exaggeration I've definitely been proud of myself in the past but I feel like for the past three four five I don't know maybe all 10 of these past Vlogs I feel like I have been a little bit down on myself for not being as productive and not being as on top of things I just feel like my life has been not in my control and I felt a little bit chaotic and just kind of running all over the place and feeling like I'm running myself ragged and just not really loving the results of that and over the past few days I feel like I've kind of turn things around eating at home more often which has really been making me feel good both physically and mentally we've been eating lunches and dinners at home I feel like I picked a really good menu for last week if you haven't watched that Vlog obiously it's linked in the description and there's a whole playlist of Vlogs um I number all of these by the way I am someone who loves to go back and watch other people's videos but sometimes it can be hard to find where to start and I wanted you all to like have a good place to start you know Vlog one these past few days like I was trying to say um I feel like I'm I'm getting my life together I'm eating at home more which has been awesome the menu last week was really great and then also I have been just a little bit more productive I haven't been hyper productive I haven't been running myself ragged but I feel like I've been getting stuff done I'm actually setting y'all on a set of books that I'm reading for an I read five video that's going live tomorrow hopefully I've been productive in reading for that video but I haven't been get so much that I am unable to do other things and to where I'm feeling like I don't like my life I've also been watching TV with Hayden at night we like had dessert and watched second and third episodes of Wheel of Time last night it just felt really good to yeah like balance both productivity and also enjoyment over the past couple of days and especially yesterday yesterday was Labor Day I didn't Vlog at all which was really nice just having that day off and it's nice now to like get back to things and feel good my house is clean it smells great I've been burning candles and I'm just I'm feeling good I also feel like I've gotten a lot of the hard things done I need to head of IVF so I'm going to do an IVF update right here and I think this will be the only one in this Vlog but um at the tail end of last week I think I updated the Vlog and was talking about how I was a little bit frustrated at just kind of the way things were going had to reschedule a trip because of ibf felt not lied to but a little bit misled on timelines and exactly like what we would have to do to to prep for IVF but I feel like we're back on track I was able to successfully reschedule that vacation and I might have said that in the last Vlog but rescheduled that vacation and today I actually am working on getting some like dinner reservations back on the books for Disney one thing that I feel like I've talked about kind of briefly um and I don't want to go into like too many details I'm not sure like how much I I really want to share about this but I have talked about how we are potentially using donor material mail donor material as backup for a potential IVF cycle that was one of the requirements of our Clinic not that we use donor material but that we get it shipped to the cryo facility I guess head of potential IVF cycle even even before the egg retrieval they really wanted to make sure before starting the process of stems they wanted to make sure that they had that material so last week was really chaotic for me and I felt a little overwhelmed because I was trying to organize not only picking out D donor material which is a really emotional process that I didn't expect to be emotional Not only was that you know stressful I also had to coordinate shipment and talk to my fertility clinic and the cryo clinic and just like all of these different parties to like organize things it was more stressful than I had anticipated and it just really wasn't very fun obviously like it's just not a fun process to have to go through but that is now complete which is awesome I feel like we have everything in in line forf to start I had a conversation last week with someone on myutility team like we have a doctor and then a team of nurses I was talking to one of the nurses and she was saying basically y'all are ready to go when your next period starts and when your next period starts you need to be on hormonal birth control for 2 weeks so my period is supposed to start this week I don't think I've ever been anticipatory of a period as I am this time around I'm just really hoping it starts relatively on time which is like you know a big if when you have um PCOS essentially my clinic will call in a prescription for a birth control for me that same day whenever I start my period like obviously that's not that big of a deal like it's not really something that stressful in and of itself but I'm like oh my God what happens if I don't start my period on time and inste I start my period on Sunday like what happens then really it really doesn't matter girl and also I don't think that's going to happen and even if it did like I'm sure that there's a way around it like I could def itely reach out to my clinic it's such a balancing act trying to get the information I need and want while also not being irritating that's definitely not something that should be going through my mind but when you're already like really anxious have a lot on your mind that definitely goes through your had to you're like God I really don't want to be annoying no one has ever given me attitude about the questions I've asked so I don't know why that like crosses my mind but it's just something that I've like been thinking of more often recently hope that my period starts on time this week that's really it um and it's kind of crazy like I just we're starting this you know what I mean like this process is really getting real and I think you know once I'm on birth control and like once my period started I think I'm going to feel like uh confirmation really sink in and settle in essentially the way it works by the way that you're on hormonal birth control for about 2 weeks so that all of your eggs and ovaries are suppressed cuz usually the way it works in like a normal menstrual cycle is that all of your follicles are like competing to release the best egg like whichever one has the most mature most Ready Egg is the one that releases the egg the follicle that is birth control suppresses all of your follicles so that you start at the same Baseline that's the way IVF works you pump yourself full of hormones so that all of your follicles will grow at the same time and that they will all hopefully have mature eggs in them that's you know a simplification but basically uh and then they do the egg retrieval so I am just waiting for my period I'm waiting for my period waiting to get on brething control I feel like I'm in a really good place but I'm also just like eating and I'm also like this is stressful because I'm anxious I think the anxiety is probably not helping my period start on time so you know it's it's a whole thing it's a whole thing that I'm that I'm emotionally dealing with but it's fine but I think that's probably the only update I'll really have for you this week unless my period starts uh on time which is a big if it's supposed to start tomorrow I don't think it will I think it's going to start like Thursday Friday if that but if it does I'll let you know I'm applying more makeup today than I have been with my uh hair like this I feel like the biggest change that I have had since getting the bangs is that I have been doing slightly different lip colors and I have been kind of playing it safe and easy with the eye makeup I don't know I just feel like with a kind of severe heavy bang doing really heavy eye makeup like doesn't necessarily look the best on me at least so that being said I'm using a Natasha denona palette this is the any Glam palette again trying to like satisfy my urge to buy that new um eyes shadow palette that came out that I shouldn't buy cuz it's like $70 I feel over this week on the agenda we have that I read five video to finish up which is my game plan for today probably won't Vlog very much today except for maybe our lunch and our dinner don't know what I'm going to be reading this week but I definitely want to read some more romance I don't know what it'll be but I do have some audio books checked out for my library they're actually good for once actually books that I want to read so I'll probably do that we say I've been having a hanging for Fantasy after starting Wheel of Time uh season 2 on Amazon I'm like do I want to get back in my fantasy era we'll see I don't know I'm I'm leaving it open for myself to read a couple of books this Vlog also I believe have a patreon exclusive Vlog going Live this week I think I actually am not sure you know I could look that up I do have a calendar yes I do have a vlog that's supposed to go live Saturday so I need to work on that other than that I think I'm mostly chilling I could probably start in on my age Gap romance Vlog this going live the following week it's another one of those Trope Vlogs I haven't done a Trope Vlog in about a month and I just have been missing it I've really been missing it so I am excited to start in on one of those basically a lot of reading to do and I'm trying to again Pace myself and just really enjoy the books that I'm reading I found a comfy Rhythm over the past couple of days I've been sitting in my living room burning a candle and just like enjoying just enjoying and being present in the moment I know that all sounds very silly I've been letting my anxiety and my worries just really like overtake me it's been really nice to just do what I need to do but also relax while doing it and enjoying the things around me like have a beautiful home I have amazing cats I have a great husband like you know just taking it all in being appreciative iing gratitude I haven't started in on like gratitude journaling again but I did set up my planner today as well and I'm hoping that I start using my daily Pages my hobo cousin just the planner that I use by the way kind of would like to start regularly journaling because life's wild and I would like to document this time so that again I can like look back on it and feel like life was so different a year ago this time next year there'll be a little kid in my arm or something like that and it'll it'll all feel worth it but it would be cool to document that I'm going to go I will keep you posted I'm going to do my makeup and my hair and um hopefully look cute is today I don't we'll see I'm wearing my new sweater hello I look like the man from stranger things how are youall doing today it's Thursday Eddie mson I don't know anyways I've never even seen the show I just look like him I just wanted to pop in and say hey I haven't read any books don't know what a book is never read a book in my life finished the I read five mystery thriller video I'll leave that in the description down below I don't know what the going on but no views which is valid I guess but I thought it was a fun video so if you like want to hear my thoughts on some actual books which I know some of you do I'll leave a link in the description to that I don't and you know what you know what it is probably I actually just thought about it I edited that video and Hayden didn't edit the video I think that's why it's not doing well is because Hayden really puts his whole adsy into things and makes everything more fun so yeah also on that note I've decided to just not talk in videos anymore oh yeah it just it would just make it easier for me to edit later welcome to my world I've been telling him this for years he didn't understand until he had to start editing himself so I'm going to become the kind of person that speaks seldomly but seldomly but oh oh you think you're going to have something important to say that's un no but seldom oh how's your Thursday going how's your week going oh you're going to make me talk I know that you said you don't want to talk but I think sadly we're going to need your contribution here cuz like I don't read books so what am I supposed to say you say how's my week you know what actually I will tell you what book I'm going to read while he gathers his thoughts I think I'm going to read is it morbidly yours it looks cute y'all recommended this to me by y'all me my patrons morbidly Yours by Ivy Fairbanks it's a Kindle unlimited book and looks really cute I think he's like an Undertaker he's about to undertake that so I'll be there for that still nothing over there are you asking me about my week yeah I am it looks like I'm wearing no pants I am by the way if anyone's curious my vori shorts is what I'm wearing a vori plug are you sponsored how cool that would be that'd be sick as we would love some free loungewear how's your week going bud my week pretty boring I would say he got his groceries though yesterday yeah super exciting played that I haven't really done all that much I've been working a lot and doing other things I think that's the thing that's like me down lately is like my job is Jobing pretty hard and I also like I don't know I've been struggling to like find things to read I don't know what it is I'm not an I'm not an indecisive person but I've really been struggling to like figure out what the to read I'll like finish a video that I've been like working hard on and then I'm like wait what the what do I read next if it's not specifically like a TBR for a video I read and for this video I always feel like I have a hard time figuring out what to read and I'm like oh I could just read whatever I want do I want to read that's the real question I think that is a question that I don't know how to answer feel that because whenever we were reading Throne of Glass I was putting off reading the last book in the Hyperion series I started listening to it and I haven't been listening to it just because I got so used to putting off listening to it that I started doing other things during the time when I would normally listen and I've just been continuing to do those things instead and haven't really been listening to my book very much yeah I'll find some time to do it so the only other thing is like now I got to got to think of some things to spend my you know new employee compensation on compensation what sort of compensation are we looking for I don't think we worked out the benefits package for Hayden's employment yeah we hav his Chandler anley employment we don't have to work it out it's just you know sometimes I need a cookie or a toy you know make that cookie or a toy happen my sometimes I treat make the treats happen two things that I just thought of as Hayden was talking one we are actually out cuz we need to get mushrooms uh not the like you know psychedelic kind in fact the opposite trying to get from Whole Foods we're going to Whole Foods to get some like fancy mushrooms cuz we have a couple of mushroom dishes for lunches and dinners I think mostly just dinners pizza and a risotto I also wanted to get some Christmas garland okay cuz there's Christmas garland on sale right now I keep seeing this on my Instagram and I'm sorry this looks cool as like I want this in my front in my front yard and I need it I've never had the gumption nor the be able to pay someone to put Christmas lights on my house so I think that's still the case now I however would like my area like my you know portrait whatever to look cute for Christmas and I thought this was a cute idea and I think I'm going to do it on a smaller scale than uh this girl does it but like I want to do that some Garland on sale and I know I know what you're thinking it's not even October um that's true but you know what you got to think ahead cuz last last year I C caught wind of some Garland and I went to buy it and it was no longer there Chandler doesn't believe in Seasons only season is season of my enjoyment you know like what am I enjoying what do I want to buy and I going buy it it doesn't matter what the weather is well I was also just talking about decorating the house just a you know outside doesn't matter inside inside matters outside my house too like you know the the front porch but yeah the weather is not going to stop me yeah we should just put up Christmas lights now yeah they won't let us do that actually they let some of the neighbors those people got in trouble yeah like I our HOA doesn't let us put up Christmas lights until 45 days before which coincidentally is like my birthday so I mean really doesn't matter because we've never put up Christmas lights before so but I mean like exterior decoration I think kind of goes with that so I can do my stuff on my birthday Gins so this is like an early birthday present to me I have something in my eye now something floated into my eye while we were filming well I mean that's just part for the course you know yeah it's not awesome oh the last thing I was going to say before we pop over to get the Gins I just like saying gin it's more fun than Garland we're going to see bottoms tomorrow and I'm hyped and he has no idea what it is I don't think he's along for the ride I literally have no clue what movies are coming out or are out in the theater at any time watch I don't see ads cuz uh got YouTube premium so finally broke down a bought premium recently mostly cuz uh a guy I worked with a couple years ago bullied me you got bullied for not having YouTube premium the dumbest subscription service you can pay for L listen you know what he said he was like how do you have a YouTube channel and not pay for YouTube premium I was like you know what you're right that's kind of sad you're like cuz I'm YouTube for making money not spending money that's true I think I don't come out of my AdSense or is it do I pay for it separately you pay for it separately know but no I only got it spend money to make money I only got it because I started the free trial when we took our trip to New York so that I could download some YouTube videos to watch on the plane and now you're just hooked well then I realized how nice it was to not have ads it's pretty nice that's like honestly the biggest thing I don't use any of the other features it's just the fact that I don't have to cck the skip ad button the thing that really irritated me about ads oh is this is this where we're going now no it's it's a very specific kind of AD it's the kind that is not actually very long but it's unskippable and then at the end of the ad it just especially frustrates me on mobile at the end of the ad stays there for a while like giving you a link to click on instead of actually going onto the video if I was watching a YouTube video while I was cooking or doing something else and didn't have my phone in my hand like actively watching it would just stay up that's really tough yeah it's okay but you know we fixed that now technology YouTube premium beep beep boop boop ads speaking of ads uh YouTube actually just emailed creators and said that we're not going to have control over what kinds of ads go on our videos anymore oh yeah whether it's unskippable or skippable or whatever so if you like see more ads and more ads you can't skip I unfortunately have no say in that anymore so just FYI I don't know I don't know when they're rolling they're like in ads or something like that oh I mean I already don't have control over that yeah but just won't be able to skip them if they do happen on that note I'm going to go do what the good capitalist Lord on My Soul and Spirit today I'm going to go spend some money hello my friends happy Friday uh I'm back on my dumbb how about we say that I am about to head to HomeGoods to look at things I've made some interesting home purchase decisions recently home good purchase here's here's the deal okay I'm coming to terms with the fact that we are probably going to be in this house longer than we would like and that sounds as if we hate our home or that like we really or desperate to leave that's not really the case we just have figured out things over time that we like and don't like and I think a lot of people figure that out when they you know buy a house um especially if it's like a starter home quote unquote again makes it sound like I don't like my house or I'm not grateful to have a house I'm very grateful I want to point that out all this to say I have been considering like design choices and things that would make our home more functional and more akin to what I would like you can always make the best of any situation I think and I really like our house but certain layout things I don't love primarily our downstairs I don't really like an open floor plan concept I figured out something about having the kitchen and the living room as just like one big open space it hard for it to feel cozy and comfortable in a place that I want to spend time it's like 90% of the reason I spend time in my bedroom I do just like being a bedir for sure spend a lot of time on the couch cuz it just doesn't feel cozy and homey and like exactly how I want in there I think aesthetically it's pretty but it just doesn't feel cozy and I'm trying to remedy like various different things in that whole like big one space whatever first thing that I did was I came up with this idea I had seen this online before to basically transform our kitchen island into a banet seating situation Island that we have has a bit of an overhang a bit of a lip and there is room for some bar stools in there but we don't have any bar stools because we also have a kitchen table and it felt weird to have both in the same area it's just a very small area so I was like brainstorming on ways to dining area more interesting we brought the kitchen table and chairs with us from our first department so it's not like these were things that we bought for this home or anything they just happen to like work okay in the space I had this idea about what if we filled in the space under the island that has like this big open Gap maybe put some cabinets right there you know I I know a lot of people do that they have like cabinets on both sides of their Island and put a banket in front of that so basically like a long bench couch kind of thing a rectangular table and then on the opposite side of the table like three chairs and this done a few times I'll like put some inspiration pictures right here this is kind of what I was envisioning and I was like I think this would be a really good use of our space I actually think it would give us like a little bit more room to maneuver around the table it would make things feel Cozier and homier liked that idea and had me thinking about like what style I want things to be in and I think my style is evolving right like I think when I first moved into this place it was very like fousy I really like gray the couch that I ended up purchasing and some of the other accessories definitely aren't Farmhouse but I'm moving in an opposite direction now not opposite but like an adjacent direction I've really been inspired by antiques recently I love antiquing I really love like a sort of French country style inspiration pictures here this is kind of what I have been gravitating towards lately I just want something that feels lived in comfortable authentic to me and like my personal style and taste I I don't want it to be too themed you know I don't want it to feel like oh wow this is a moment in time like this is you know 2018 Farmhouse I don't want it to feel like that but I do I'm moving in a different direction I think and I think that's kind of what I'm course correcting from actually is like buying into Trends too much so I think I'm going to be replacing my coffee table I've been eyeing one that is also like an upholstered coffee table ottoman situation but that looks a little bit more ornate and just a little bit like less country cheek I say that that like I want French country but not like yeaw Texas like coffee table I don't think that's like my vibe anymore is what I'm saying so anyway I'm buying a new coffee table I'm pretty sure SL ottoman um I found one for a really really good deal on Pottery Burn's website like open box I think I'm going to do that pull the trigger on that I'm just doing other things around my home to make like small changes I'm not here to like a new couch or like Get huge New pieces of furniture I tried to be strategic when I bought things in the first place if I was going to invest a lot of money in I would keep forever or keep for a very long time so I'm keeping my couch I'm working with the pieces I have and just switching out a couple of things um like coffee table that we currently have I got open box from Wayfair when we moved into this house so it's not really like a huge deal to replace that with something new but I don't know uh these are my ramblings these are the things that are going on in my head one thing that I really would like to change out as well is the mirror in our bedroom our bedroom is kind of an interesting mix of like modern contemporary like what is it what what do they call it organic modern like a mix of organic modern with antii kind of stuff I think it would be cool to have like a more ornate or just interesting floor length mirror in the corner right now it's from Ikea I I love it I think it's it's pretty it just doesn't necessarily fit the vibe which is interesting like I think the furniture pieces in there are modern but like the accessories around are not so I think it would be nice to have a slightly different mirror I noticed some pretty mirrors when I was at HomeGoods last time so I am going to be seeing if they still have any in stock and just you know keeping an eye out on things my sister is going to purchase this Ikea mirror or she was planning on purchasing this same Ikea mirror so I'll just give her mine I find something that I like so anyway there there there's a plan in place for everything and I just feeling inspired and should I be reading the like 15 million books I need to read sure but like it's the freaking weekend and I want to have some fun so I'm going to do that come home do some reading and then go to the movies with Hayden so anyway it's a good Friday it'll be fun I am planning on starting morbidly yours tonight so I will keep youall posted on that and I'll keep you posted on my HomeGoods Adventure as well I don't know if I'll film in there but uh I'll show if I get anything cool Hello friends from me and my new mirror I know I told you that I would tell you if I got anything haul wise and I got this mirror it was under 200 bucks and it's nice like wood is it teak I don't know but it's pretty and it kind of reminds me of the mirror that I used to have in here over my dresser before we put a TV about the dresser so two thumbs up I'm glad that I went I didn't see this one last time that I went but it was the one of the only mirrors left and it was literally just perfect I like it I think it fits the space better now I can give the other mirror to my sister which actually makes me happy I'm mother if you will like I just I like buying my sister things anyway I am here to pop in to tell you about bottoms to tell you about the book that I'm reading and to just tell you some of my thoughts and feelings and just like how this week is going bottoms was so good if you have access to it like you can go see it in theaters please go see it Go support writers and directors and actor like it was just soing good I really really really enjoyed it Hayden enjoyed it too he was laughing I have to say I think collectively both of us Alama Draft House used to be so so so good and I'm sad that the food quality has declined so much but that being said like it's still fun experience I mean going to the movies was a fun experience I'm glad we did it I'm glad I just kind of like did that on a whim just like my kind of Comedy it was F paced it's just perfect you should go see it you should go see it if you haven't seen it if you haven't heard of it go look it up watch the trailer it was a great movie I also started morbidly yours I'm like 10% in I was going to wait until I got to the 20% Mark to update you been reading on my Kindle but I I didn't I didn't get to 20% all right it's better our to characters Lark and Callum Lark is moving or has moved to Ireland from Texas she is going to be like the lead project person lead animator on this movie which is super super cool I'm terrible at talking about books have we have we talked about that I think it's cuz my brain is just like fixated on other things right now but lar is this like upbeat personality and her husband I think recently passed away so she's kind of grieving she's like 28 I think like pretty young still she meets Callum next door he is an Undertaker I don't what is an Undertaker even a real like is that a is that a real position or is that just something that like is slay I don't know he's mortician he like imels people so yeah he is trying to keep the family business afloat his dad is trying to take it away from him it's a family run business his grandfather recently passed away he has to get married if he wants to keep the business in the family and not have his dad sell it out from under him so I think he's going to probably proposition Lark to marry him and I like that it sounds fun I like the setting uh the characters seem nice it's not like blowing my mind so far but it's cute it's cute enough and it's keeping me entertained so love that what I'm not loving is life right now why is life lately such a roller coaster I hate having like a really like high high in one Vlog and then the next Vlog it's like a low low and it's frustrating because it's like I can't go into details I don't want to go into details I am just not having the best time I'm just really not having the best time generalize to simplify things I got news about news if that makes sense it's not fertility related just some like big raincloud is above my head and it is overwhelming me because I don't know if it's going to rain or if the Sun is going to shine again soon and I think that's the hardest part about life sometimes is like knowing that you're not in control of everything and I think that's just my lesson of the years like I'm not in control of everything and I don't like that so much I don't I don't love it I I you know I hate to be I hate to be vague in general I'll have answers soon for these things and may or may not be able to share information with you but I'm just like not having the best time and then um I guess we can throw an a fertility update here I still have not started my period I was supposed to start on Wednesday supposed to start at PCOS when the is a period really supposed to start I don't think I'll be like concerned less I don't start by Monday like if I haven't started on Monday I'll be like a little concerned the good news is I was like kind of panicking about what happens if I started the weekend cuz I'm supposed to like start taking birth control on whatever day I start my period but it's apparently not that big of a deal so whatever that's stressing me out too I just like I wish like I said I don't even know that I wish that I could share things I I don't want to have to share the things that I'm like dealing with right now but I'm just like it sucks and it is is frustrating to me the interesting thing and I don't know if this is like a good instinct or a bad Instinct but whenever starts to go wrong in other aspects of my life or things are scary I think my instinct is to just lean into this and I think I like that I really I I do I like that this is my safe haven and that this is like what I have built for myself and I'm proud of that and I like it a lot yeah I don't know where I would be and like what kind of person I would be if I didn't have YouTube this is getting like strangely philosophical and like sad and like whatever I want to say thank you I suppose I'm also like sorry I guess for not putting my all into this over the past like six months to a year obviously it's been hard with all the things that have been thrown my way but I'm just so grateful for all of you who like continue to show up even when my videos are is great or you know I'm not providing the stuff that you necessarily want and maybe I'm like targeting this message at the wrong audience cuz the those of y'all who watch these videos are like my you know my people something I would really love from y'all is um in the comments if you're watching let me know what sorts of things you would like to see from me um and I know some of youall have been saying you've really enjoyed these videos these are not going anywhere like I have no intention of stopping the Vlogs but I really would like to have a more well-rounded Channel again like I want to create more book content or just like more content in general that youall want to see like whatever that may be um if there's anything you've just been missing Lately from my channel I would love to know um and I will not take offense if you're if you tell me I don't like the Vlogs that's fine I'm still doing them but I won't take offense I feel like I've kind of lost my way a little bit and again I think I think when things get hard I lean into this and I want to like really go in and like make some cool while I'm like sad worried whatever I'm I'm in a weird heads space right now but I am trying to sort of like put all of that aside because the things that are on my mind are not things that I have any control over so it's like why fret about them now when you can fret about when they actually happen you know what I mean like what the day of is when I can allow myself to panic right I shouldn't Panic now game plan for the next couple of days is just to read my little heart out and just enjoy where I'm at right now because nothing bad has happened yet have some fun you know I think tomorrow I'm going to wake up and enjoy a nice homemade chai I think I am going to cuddle with my cats and I think we're going to hang out I'm looking forward to it I hope youall are too and I will I'll take you along if we do anything fun over the next couple of days hello my friends happy Sunday I am here to let you know where I was yesterday and what I'm up to today yesterday I had a really good time uh it was really nice to not be on camera and not read at all not that I've been doing much reading anyway but uh that's besides the point I went to HomeGoods with my little sister we found some art for above her couch in her new apartment and just other like various home wees for her apartment it was really fun getting to like provide my opinion watch someone else buy things I myself did not end up buying anything which is probably for the best like I didn't need anything for the house so we did that and then we came home hung out Hayden made us dinner we also watched some football and the football game was Immaculate as a Texas Fan we beat Alabama which was just exactly what I needed I feel like yesterday so um yeah it was overall a really really great day another thing that happened before I like did all of that stuff around noon I ended up picking up a new table with Hayden for our kitchen like I told you I kind of had some like hairbrain schemes on what I wanted to do in the kitchen I think I told you that I've already purchased a banet for the kitchen so like that's definitely happening it is like custom upholstered it was on sale at Ballard Designs I think I bought that already it's coming in December and I was like okay I'm just going to like kind of put my feelers out kind of figure out what's out on the market for tables cuz I kind of had inspiration and knew what I wanted I wanted like a turned leg rectangular table so I got on Facebook Marketplace and I found one a really really good price I believe it is solid wood I'm not entirely sure it might have a veneer on top but it was 175 and I had venmo credit so it was basically free you know girl math uh so I ended up just like picking it up with Hayden like on a Wham Gra grabbed it and now it is in our garage it's like this really dark almost like black stain on it uh really glossy and I'm going to try to see if I can kind of sand it down and make it more of like a weathered wood look if not I think I'll either paint it black or paint it white or try to distress at myself I know that's like a lot of options I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with it I do need to do some sort of like exploratory prep work first but I'm very excited about this project I'm probably going to start in on it next week and next week's Vlog so very much looking forward to that honestly I think it'll be a fun project for for me I have just really been craving like getting my hands dirty recently I think that's part of the reason that I've like been in my DIY Chan era like I just really desperately want to do things that aren't just my typical like I don't want to just read and do Pilates and like stay at home all day like I want to like move around go outside do things with my hands and is it too hot to be outside yes so I guess the best I can do is like sit in my garage which is also hot as and sand this uh table down so anyway I'm hyped about it I'm excited to kind of take you along with me for that and yeah that's kind of what I did yesterday today I really don't know what the game plan is I am admittedly a little bit slumpy a little bit behind on things and I feel like I've been that way for the past couple of weeks I'm getting stuff done but I also don't feel really that great about it I didn't end up getting to post my patreon exclusive reading Vlog because I haven't read for it so I need to do that over the next like few days haven't started in on my ageg Gap Vlog which is supposed to go live on Wednesday I didn't post a video today so you know I'm not feeling super great and I feel like I need to come up with a game plan to get back on track I think the good news is that by not posting a vlog today I will have like two Vlogs on my Arsenal so like I'm ahead of schedule technically if I like pretend like I wasn't going to post today but I feel like I need to like actually buckle down and just kind of figure out a new game plan for myself I think I'm just constantly slightly unsatisfied with whatever plan I come up with and maybe my plans for myself are too strict but I think it would be nice to come up with like a weekly schedule that works for me again and give me something to like look forward to like a treat or a cookie or a toy or War of some kind for myself you know you get all your done you get to do this as a treat and I feel like I'm saying this I feel like the implication is that I don't like what I do and I I definitely do but sometimes even when you enjoy doing things you don't want to do those things like I'm just overwhelmed with the other life stuff that's going on like I kind of like hinted at earlier on in the Vlog but uh I think my game plan for today is to uh sit down with Hayden and kind of like talk about our goals for the month he did such a good job last month this is something that we've like kind of talked to each other about and kind of goes with what I've been talking about for the past few months we had been talking about like sitting down and planning out goals for ourselves so we can keep each other accountable and his goal for August was to walk the dogs every day and to exercise every day and he nailed it I don't even remember what my goal was because I didn't keep myself accountable nor did he keep me accountable I guess not that it's like his responsibility but I think would like to revisit that idea for September and then also kind of like come up with a game plan come up come up with my schedule I love planning things so maybe that'll like break me out of my thing here kind of paralyzed in fear I'm not doing anything sort of mood sorry I didn't mean to do that I didn't mean to do that I've never seen a blue key this your first time for everything I feel like they're typically like a really gross like baby puke green you know what I mean yeah we've got a we've got a new co-pilot in the back not loving how I look on this new lens specifically probably just in the car from this angle I mean it's not great for any of us but I'm here to close out the Vlog and tell people that I don't know how to read books we all need that it runs in the family unfortunately I did not finish morbidly yours I don't know I like the idea of it you know Texas girl meets Irish mortician MH but I don't know I feel like the romance is moving a little too quickly for my liking and I might pick it back up at some point but I just like didn't feel like I really needed to finish it expeditiously Irish mortician huh uh-huh she walks in and she's like hey these body bags got delivered to the wrong place what a joke and he's like no like I really like inol people it's like what's your body count trying to add one you got anything to say sponser do you know how you even see me yeah if Chandler moves her gigantic head out of the way she give him bobble head I mean if you just like put your head in the middle they can see you I am in the middle yeah they can it's just like that's beautiful next week you will see me packing for Disney Spencer is going to be watching our cats that's why she's here so me going to keep a real good eye on them I'm sure just feel that yeah she also brought her cat so um if we're lucky she'll send us some beautiful footage of all six the boys play you really are like strapping you're you're gearing up for a real harrowing week actually work so yeah what's that like I just like I'm so curious imagine being employed couldn't be me well not no love you all so much thanks much for watching and uh stay tuned next week it'll be fun funner funner huh for\n"