The Great Jelly Belly Experiment: A Descent into the Unknown
As I opened the package of jelly bellies from Mr. Ray, I couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and trepidation. What hidden gems would this collection hold? And what terrors lurked within its sugary confines? My curiosity was piqued as I began to pop the first flavor into my mouth.
The first jelly belly that landed on the blue one was peach, and it was a pleasant surprise. The sweetness of the peach was almost comforting, like a warm hug after barfing up something unpleasant. It tasted eerily close to drinking a bottle of Bath & Body Works Peach Fuzz, as if I had somehow inhaled the scent and converted it into a flavor. This jelly belly was a nice change of pace from the usual fruit flavors, and I found myself wondering what other unusual combinations Mr. Ray had come up with.
However, not all jelly bellies were created equal. The next one that landed on the blue one was a disappointment. It tasted like either toothpaste or berry blue toothpaste, spearmint, and wintergreen – a combination that, while interesting, didn't quite work for me. As someone who loves mint chocolate chips, this flavor fell flat. I appreciated its uniqueness, but it was a small letdown in an otherwise delightful experience.
But then came the moldy cheese, which was a major misfire. It tasted like... well, I couldn't quite put my finger on it. A little bit of that same sulfury, centipede fertilizer flavor from earlier. Let's just say it was a welcome respite to have something actually good come along. The next jelly belly that landed on the blue one was indeed caramel corn, and oh boy, was it nice! It tasted like Cracker Jack or Fiddle Faddle – a sweet and salty combination that hit all the right notes.
Next up was the "canned dog food" flavor, which was both surprising and disappointing. I had expected something akin to beef jerky, but what I got was actually quite unpleasant. It didn't taste like rotten egg, as some of my fellow tasters would have predicted. No, this one tasted more like... well, it's hard to describe. Let's just say it didn't feel like eating actual dog food.
But then came the "rotten egg" flavor – a monstrosity that even I couldn't believe existed in a jelly belly. It was as if someone had taken a few too many whiffs of, well, sulfur, and decided to bottle it up. My friend might have said something about rotten eggs tasting like sulfur, but I think they were way off.
The final jelly belly of the pack was a bit of an enigma – a flavor that tasted like... earwax? It wasn't quite right. I've never had earwax before, and I didn't know what to make of it. Some might say it was a welcome change of pace from the usual flavors, but for me, it was just more disappointment.
Last but not least came the "black pepper" flavor, which, while spicy at the end, felt almost... pleasant? It wasn't quite dirt-tasting, as some of my fellow tasters had predicted. Instead, it was a bit more cinnamony and minty – like something that might grow in the wilds of the forest floor.
The "dirt" flavor, on the other hand, was an altogether different story. I've never actually tried earwax before, but this jelly belly tasted eerily similar to... well, you guessed it. Let's just say it wasn't a welcome addition to my taste buds.
But then came the sausage flavor – or at least, that was what I thought it was going to be. Instead, it turned out to be something entirely different: a flavor that tasted like soap. Yes, you read that right – soap! It was strange and unpleasant, but not quite as horrific as some of its fellow jelly belly brethren.
Finally, there was the "grass" flavor, which I had been hoping would be an actual grass-flavored jelly belly. Alas, it seemed to have other plans. Instead, it tasted more like... well, I'm not really sure what it tasted like. It didn't taste grassy at all; instead, it felt kind of sweet and artificial – like something you might find in a candy store.
After the disappointment that was the "rotten egg" flavor, I was thrilled to discover that the next one was actually lemon-flavored jelly belly – a nice change of pace from the usual fruity flavors. I couldn't believe how much better this one tasted compared to some of its fellow jelly bellies.
And so, my friends, the Great Jelly Belly Experiment came to an end. It was a wild ride full of surprises and disappointments, but also a healthy dose of weirdness. While not every flavor was a hit, I found myself enjoying many of the unusual combinations that Mr. Ray had come up with. And who knows? Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to try some of those other jelly belly flavors from further down the pack...