The Art of Creating Homemade Spam-Like Cram and Fallout-Inspired Nacac Cola
As any self-respecting fan of post-apocalyptic cuisine knows, creating homemade Spam-like cram is an art form. It requires patience, dedication, and a willingness to experiment with unorthodox ingredients. To begin, one must take 1 pound of pork shoulder and grind it through a meat grinder plate until it reaches the desired consistency. This should result in a mixture that resembles coarse breadcrumbs, with no discernible texture or flavor. Next, combine this mixture with 20G of cornstarch, 35G of granulated sugar, 17G of kosher salt, 4G of prog powder (number 1), 1 teaspoon of garlic powder, 3/4 teaspoon of onion powder, 1/2 teaspoon of paprika, and 1/4 teaspoon of mustard powder. Mix these ingredients into a slurry with 115mL of cold water, and then pour the mixture evenly over the pork. Massage the meat thoroughly to ensure that the spices are evenly distributed.
Once the spice mixture is well combined, it's time to pack the meat into two miniature loaf pans. Pressing the mixture firmly into the pan will help remove any air pockets and ensure a smooth, even texture. Cover the pans with aluminum foil and place them in a water bath at 3°F, allowing the cram to cook for 80-90 minutes. After this time, check the internal temperature of the meat at its thickest point to ensure it has reached 155°F. If it has, remove the pan from the bath and allow it to cool completely on a wire rack.
Unfortunately, this process can be prone to errors. In our experiment, we discovered that our tray had shrunk significantly after just one night in the fridge, but fortunately, the meat remained compressed and Spam-like in texture. To achieve similar results, it's essential to cover the pan with plastic wrap and weigh it down with a heavy object to prevent drying out or other unwanted flavor compounds from forming.
Once cooled, our homemade cram can be sliced into thick slabs and fried in a little oil until crispy and golden brown. The resulting Spam-like snack is surprisingly tender and flavorful, with a satisfying crunch on the outside and a juicy interior. To enhance this experience, we paired our freshly cooked cram with a side of undressed romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes, canned beans, and a generous sprinkling of salt.
But what's a post-apocalyptic meal without a refreshing drink to wash it down? In this case, we've opted for a homemade Nacac Cola that would make even the most seasoned enthusiasts jealous. To begin, combine 1 cup of sugar, 1 cup of water, and the zest of one lime, lemon, and orange in a medium saucepan. Add a few slices of fresh ginger, as well as 1 teaspoon of coriander seeds, half a teaspoon of lavender, and two cassia cinnamon sticks. Bring this mixture to a simmer over low heat and let it cook for about 10 minutes.
Now comes the fun part – adding our secret ingredients to give Nacac Cola its distinctive flavor profile. In this case, we've chosen to add a ton of caffeine pills (as many as possible will fit in the bottle), several drops of coconut pineapple pom granate and strawberry flavor extract, 1 teaspoon each of caramel color and vanilla extract, and finally, some genuine radioactivity courtesy of uranium glass Circa 1930. Yes, you read that right – we've added real radioactivity to our Nacac Cola, which glows with a soft green hue under black light and gives the drink an air of authenticity.
Of course, there's one final ingredient missing from our Fallout-inspired meal: ass jerky. We're sorry to say that this particular dish was skipped in favor of something slightly more... digestible. However, we're not truly sorry – after all, it's always better to prioritize your health and well-being when cooking in a post-apocalyptic world.
As we sit down to enjoy our Spam-like cram and Nacac Cola, there's no denying the sense of satisfaction that comes from having created something truly unique and delicious. Whether you're a seasoned Fallout fan or just looking for a new culinary challenge, this recipe is sure to inspire. Just be sure to wear protective gear when handling radioactive materials – and don't forget to wash your hands!
"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enwait they're getting jell cake those are my orders I wonder what your dad would say about this he'd be handing on the cake himself yeah he was a saint do you want it how is he going to know yeah I'm going to put this in my fridge hey what's up guys welcome back to binging with babish where this week we're taking a look at some of the foods from Fallout first up the favorite dessert of Vault dwellers everywhere Jell-O cake which I'm going to try to make from entirely shelf stable ingredients first sifting together 600 G of all-purpose flour 450 G of butter powder which is a thing 105 G of egg powder which is also a thing 600 g of sugar 1 tbsp of vanilla powder 40 G of whole milk powder 1 tbsp of kosher salt and 1 and 1/2 tbsp of baking powder whisk together until thoroughly homogeneous and very have it some just add water cake mix 790 mL of which we're going to add gently folding together taking care not to overwork until we have a nice semi- smooth cake batter which we're going to bake into two cakes each in a generously oiled and parchment papered 13x9 pan spread it out nice and even give it a few thorough Taps for good luck and send them both into a preheated 350° fenhe oven for 35 to 45 minutes or until golden brown and registering 205 to 210° F at its thickest point now for the Jello-O I had a really wild idea what if I made Jello out of Kool-Aid packets sugar and gelatin and I'm going to tell you right now that this idea was a bad one Kool-Aid tastes a lot worse than it did in my memory and that taste only gets dulled by turning it into Jell-O which was the tedious timeconsuming and finger staining process so if for some reason you want to make a giant cake with a whole bunch of Jello-O towering over top of it I recommend using the good oldfashioned stuff from a bag in a box either way we're diving up our red and blue Jello-O amongst various Jello molds all appropriately vintage and acquired on Etsy but if for even stranger reasons you want to do this with Kool-Aid the recipe is available on the babish website send these guys into the fridge overnight until completely set now for the frosting I wanted to try a ghastly combination of one lb vegetable shortening creamed together with 4 lbs of powdered sugar and thinned with half cup of water what results is an electric white alarmingly sweet slightly greasy frosting it occurs to me now that I could have just used powdered milk and powdered sugar but the past is the past now to assemble I'm first slicing off the very topmost layer of our two cakes giving us nice flat surfaces upon which to build trimming the cake a little so it can support the width of our Jello-O base and frosting as one would Frost virtually any cake by putting some in between the two layers and then putting a lot all over the place and trying to make it as smooth as possible the stage is set so let's bring out the stars of the show I lost a couple little hunks of jello on the base red layer which I'm going to carefully place in the dead center of the cake and I lost a couple big hunks of the blue layer which I'm just going to turn so that you can't see the Carnage now before I apply the final jiggling Tower which I think is going to destroy the cake I'm going to pipe some frosting dyed with a little bit of yellow food coloring around the outside cover up the unsightly baseboards by piping down a whole bunch of white frosting and then try unsuccessfully to frost the Jello-O itself turns out frosting doesn't stick to Jello-O a riddle that nobody ever should have had to answer last up I'm carefully flipping out my final red Tower and very carefully attempting to balance it on top I was positive this whole thing was just going to fall apart and was delighted when it didn't so the Retro futuristic congratulations sign felt well earned and there you have it a big old cake made from entirely shelf stable ingredients and water which now I kind of want to see it fall down so I'm going to bully it a little bit but as it turns out this thing's pretty much earthquake proof lucky for me I happen to have the babish super slicer ready at hand and yes that felt every bit as good as it looked so we know the jello is bad but how does the cake taste and as it turns out surprisingly good in a guilty pleasure sort of way it tastes just like those plain vanilla day old cupcakes on sale for $1.99 at the grocery store which obviously isn't awesome but we couldn't stop picking at it all day now onto the spam of nuclear alt history America cram we're to start by cubing one lb each ham and bacon along with 2 lb of raw pork shoulder is it weird to make a sausage product out of half cooked meat yes is this how virtually every homemade spam recipe says to do it also yes spread them out evenly on a parchment line baking sheet and pop them in the freezer for 20 to 30 minutes or until firm pass it through your very coldest most medium meat grinder plate creating a pebble sort of half raw sausage mixture which unlike spam we're going to season with more than just salt 20 G cornstarch 35 G granulated sugar 17 G kosher salt 4 G of prog powder number 1 1 tpoon garlic powder 3/4 of a teaspoon onion powder/ teaspoon paprika and 1/4 taspo mustard powder combine with 115 mL of cold water mix into a slurry and pour evenly over the pork massage thoroughly until the spices are evenly distributed and then pack evenly into two miniature loaf pans pressing thoroughly to make sure that there are no bubbles throughout your farce also making sure that the meat is leveled evenly with the top of the pan wrap tightly in aluminum foil and place in a water bath filling about 1 in below the rim of the pan and popping into 3 ° F oven have your ghost open it for you if you have one then after 80 to 90 minutes remove from the oven and temp the pork at its thickest point to see if it's reached 155° F if they're up to Temp pop them out of the bath towel off and unwrap the aluminum foil allowing these guys to cool uncovered until they reach room temperature then you're going to go out to dinner and about halfway through realize that you forgot to cover and fridge these things it's okay these guys have only been out for about 3 hours but you're going to forget to change out of your nice sweater and put on an apron cover with plastic wrap and weigh them down with something heavy then after night in the fridge you're going to notice that your tray is shrunk but your meat should be compressed into a Spam likee product get these slippery guys out of their pan wipe off any jellied fat cut it in half and let's take a look at that crosssection oh yeah that's that's spam or cram I guess cut them into slices and fry them up in a little bit of oil in a non-stick pan flipping when's golden brown and cooking thoroughly because remember you left him out last night then we're going to enjoy this stuff just like Chad does with a side of undressed remain lettuce and cherry tomatoes canned beans and a generous sprinkling of salt it's the American dream and the homemade cram tastes a lot like a hot dog made of bacon which is pretty good it's got nice crispy outside and all the fat makes it super juicy but I need something to wash it down with how about a batch of homemade nacac Cola I'm starting by zesting one lime one lemon and one orange combining it with one cup of sugar and one cup of water and a medium sauce span along with a nice little knob of fresh ginger cut into small slices we're also going to add 1 teaspoon coriander seeds half a teaspoon of lavender two cassia cinnamon sticks 1/4 taspo freshly grated nutmeg and 1/4 cup of brown sugar bring it up to a simmer and let it gently cook for about 10 minutes now if this were back in the day we'd also add a little pinch of Uncle babish's gasoline powder but because this a schedule one substance and responsible for untold amounts of death and violence we're going to follow the Fallout formula and add a ton of caffeine pills as every bottle of nuca colola apparently contains 120% of your daily recommended caffeine there's also apparently seven different fruit Essences and since we've only got three so far I'm going to add small drops of coconut pineapple pom granate and strawberry flavor extract just to make sure this tastes completely insane also it just wouldn't be Cola without some brown 1 teaspoon each caramel color and vanilla extract whisk until everything's dissolved and combined then we're straining the sucker through a fine mesh SI and a few layers of cheesecloth and there you have it homemade nuca colola syrup all we got to do now is pour it into a bottle dilute it with water and carbonate it by virtue of a carbonation thing and while it's definitely fun to make homemade Cola it's not quite nuca Cola A fitting final ingredient I think is radioactivity so I have here some real uranium glass Circa 1930 this glass was made with actual uranium giving it a soft green Hue that actually glows under black light and some mild genuine radioactivity not enough to cause any problems but just enough to make our soda looks super cool when we turn off the lights so they you have it a full Fallout meal a little gross a lot of fun and just a hint of radioactivity just like fall out itself I'm sorry I didn't make any ass jerky but you know what I'm actually not sorry forwait they're getting jell cake those are my orders I wonder what your dad would say about this he'd be handing on the cake himself yeah he was a saint do you want it how is he going to know yeah I'm going to put this in my fridge hey what's up guys welcome back to binging with babish where this week we're taking a look at some of the foods from Fallout first up the favorite dessert of Vault dwellers everywhere Jell-O cake which I'm going to try to make from entirely shelf stable ingredients first sifting together 600 G of all-purpose flour 450 G of butter powder which is a thing 105 G of egg powder which is also a thing 600 g of sugar 1 tbsp of vanilla powder 40 G of whole milk powder 1 tbsp of kosher salt and 1 and 1/2 tbsp of baking powder whisk together until thoroughly homogeneous and very have it some just add water cake mix 790 mL of which we're going to add gently folding together taking care not to overwork until we have a nice semi- smooth cake batter which we're going to bake into two cakes each in a generously oiled and parchment papered 13x9 pan spread it out nice and even give it a few thorough Taps for good luck and send them both into a preheated 350° fenhe oven for 35 to 45 minutes or until golden brown and registering 205 to 210° F at its thickest point now for the Jello-O I had a really wild idea what if I made Jello out of Kool-Aid packets sugar and gelatin and I'm going to tell you right now that this idea was a bad one Kool-Aid tastes a lot worse than it did in my memory and that taste only gets dulled by turning it into Jell-O which was the tedious timeconsuming and finger staining process so if for some reason you want to make a giant cake with a whole bunch of Jello-O towering over top of it I recommend using the good oldfashioned stuff from a bag in a box either way we're diving up our red and blue Jello-O amongst various Jello molds all appropriately vintage and acquired on Etsy but if for even stranger reasons you want to do this with Kool-Aid the recipe is available on the babish website send these guys into the fridge overnight until completely set now for the frosting I wanted to try a ghastly combination of one lb vegetable shortening creamed together with 4 lbs of powdered sugar and thinned with half cup of water what results is an electric white alarmingly sweet slightly greasy frosting it occurs to me now that I could have just used powdered milk and powdered sugar but the past is the past now to assemble I'm first slicing off the very topmost layer of our two cakes giving us nice flat surfaces upon which to build trimming the cake a little so it can support the width of our Jello-O base and frosting as one would Frost virtually any cake by putting some in between the two layers and then putting a lot all over the place and trying to make it as smooth as possible the stage is set so let's bring out the stars of the show I lost a couple little hunks of jello on the base red layer which I'm going to carefully place in the dead center of the cake and I lost a couple big hunks of the blue layer which I'm just going to turn so that you can't see the Carnage now before I apply the final jiggling Tower which I think is going to destroy the cake I'm going to pipe some frosting dyed with a little bit of yellow food coloring around the outside cover up the unsightly baseboards by piping down a whole bunch of white frosting and then try unsuccessfully to frost the Jello-O itself turns out frosting doesn't stick to Jello-O a riddle that nobody ever should have had to answer last up I'm carefully flipping out my final red Tower and very carefully attempting to balance it on top I was positive this whole thing was just going to fall apart and was delighted when it didn't so the Retro futuristic congratulations sign felt well earned and there you have it a big old cake made from entirely shelf stable ingredients and water which now I kind of want to see it fall down so I'm going to bully it a little bit but as it turns out this thing's pretty much earthquake proof lucky for me I happen to have the babish super slicer ready at hand and yes that felt every bit as good as it looked so we know the jello is bad but how does the cake taste and as it turns out surprisingly good in a guilty pleasure sort of way it tastes just like those plain vanilla day old cupcakes on sale for $1.99 at the grocery store which obviously isn't awesome but we couldn't stop picking at it all day now onto the spam of nuclear alt history America cram we're to start by cubing one lb each ham and bacon along with 2 lb of raw pork shoulder is it weird to make a sausage product out of half cooked meat yes is this how virtually every homemade spam recipe says to do it also yes spread them out evenly on a parchment line baking sheet and pop them in the freezer for 20 to 30 minutes or until firm pass it through your very coldest most medium meat grinder plate creating a pebble sort of half raw sausage mixture which unlike spam we're going to season with more than just salt 20 G cornstarch 35 G granulated sugar 17 G kosher salt 4 G of prog powder number 1 1 tpoon garlic powder 3/4 of a teaspoon onion powder/ teaspoon paprika and 1/4 taspo mustard powder combine with 115 mL of cold water mix into a slurry and pour evenly over the pork massage thoroughly until the spices are evenly distributed and then pack evenly into two miniature loaf pans pressing thoroughly to make sure that there are no bubbles throughout your farce also making sure that the meat is leveled evenly with the top of the pan wrap tightly in aluminum foil and place in a water bath filling about 1 in below the rim of the pan and popping into 3 ° F oven have your ghost open it for you if you have one then after 80 to 90 minutes remove from the oven and temp the pork at its thickest point to see if it's reached 155° F if they're up to Temp pop them out of the bath towel off and unwrap the aluminum foil allowing these guys to cool uncovered until they reach room temperature then you're going to go out to dinner and about halfway through realize that you forgot to cover and fridge these things it's okay these guys have only been out for about 3 hours but you're going to forget to change out of your nice sweater and put on an apron cover with plastic wrap and weigh them down with something heavy then after night in the fridge you're going to notice that your tray is shrunk but your meat should be compressed into a Spam likee product get these slippery guys out of their pan wipe off any jellied fat cut it in half and let's take a look at that crosssection oh yeah that's that's spam or cram I guess cut them into slices and fry them up in a little bit of oil in a non-stick pan flipping when's golden brown and cooking thoroughly because remember you left him out last night then we're going to enjoy this stuff just like Chad does with a side of undressed remain lettuce and cherry tomatoes canned beans and a generous sprinkling of salt it's the American dream and the homemade cram tastes a lot like a hot dog made of bacon which is pretty good it's got nice crispy outside and all the fat makes it super juicy but I need something to wash it down with how about a batch of homemade nacac Cola I'm starting by zesting one lime one lemon and one orange combining it with one cup of sugar and one cup of water and a medium sauce span along with a nice little knob of fresh ginger cut into small slices we're also going to add 1 teaspoon coriander seeds half a teaspoon of lavender two cassia cinnamon sticks 1/4 taspo freshly grated nutmeg and 1/4 cup of brown sugar bring it up to a simmer and let it gently cook for about 10 minutes now if this were back in the day we'd also add a little pinch of Uncle babish's gasoline powder but because this a schedule one substance and responsible for untold amounts of death and violence we're going to follow the Fallout formula and add a ton of caffeine pills as every bottle of nuca colola apparently contains 120% of your daily recommended caffeine there's also apparently seven different fruit Essences and since we've only got three so far I'm going to add small drops of coconut pineapple pom granate and strawberry flavor extract just to make sure this tastes completely insane also it just wouldn't be Cola without some brown 1 teaspoon each caramel color and vanilla extract whisk until everything's dissolved and combined then we're straining the sucker through a fine mesh SI and a few layers of cheesecloth and there you have it homemade nuca colola syrup all we got to do now is pour it into a bottle dilute it with water and carbonate it by virtue of a carbonation thing and while it's definitely fun to make homemade Cola it's not quite nuca Cola A fitting final ingredient I think is radioactivity so I have here some real uranium glass Circa 1930 this glass was made with actual uranium giving it a soft green Hue that actually glows under black light and some mild genuine radioactivity not enough to cause any problems but just enough to make our soda looks super cool when we turn off the lights so they you have it a full Fallout meal a little gross a lot of fun and just a hint of radioactivity just like fall out itself I'm sorry I didn't make any ass jerky but you know what I'm actually not sorry for\n"
