we're getting divorced

**Announcing My Divorce: A Personal Journey**

In an emotional and raw video shared on my YouTube channel, I open up about one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. After spending almost eight years in marriage and being a mother to two young children, I have decided to get divorced. The pain of this decision is indescribable, but I feel it’s important to share my story with you directly.

**Sharing My Story**

To those who know me well or have followed my channel over the years, this video is a way for me to address the situation head-on. I’ve always strived to be authentic and transparent with my audience, sharing both the highs and lows of my journey. However, I understand that this particular announcement might come as a shock to some who may only know me through my polished, value-add content.

**Understanding My Content**

I want to clarify that this video is not representative of the kind of content I typically create. For nearly ten years, I’ve been consistent in posting weekly videos, often focusing on positive and uplifting topics. While I used to share more personal and vlog-style content, my recent focus has shifted due to various reasons, which you might now understand.

**The Struggle Behind the Scenes**

Like many of you, I’ve been in a situation where I’m struggling internally but still need to put on a brave face for work and family. This is exactly where I find myself right now. Announcing this divorce feels like lifting a heavy weight off my chest, even though the decision itself has been months or years in the making.

**Why We’re Divorcing**

The reality is that our marriage didn’t work out. After nearly ten years together and eight years of marriage, we’ve decided to move forward separately. This decision is heart-wrenching and devastating, as I’m currently going through a cycle of grief almost daily. While I’m receiving the support I need, I know many of you are wondering: *Why?* Why did this happen?

**Reflecting on My Marriage**

As someone who has always admired strong marriages, I understand the curiosity behind this question. We’ve tried everything—couples therapy, communication, and all the tools available to us. However, despite our best efforts, we’ve reached a point where continuing as husband and wife is no longer feasible.

**Prioritizing My Kids**

The biggest factor in this decision revolves around my children. Having experienced the impact of divorce firsthand as a child myself, I am acutely aware of how it can affect them. My six-year-old son, Carter, who shares many traits with me, including sensitivity, will undoubtedly feel the effects deeply. While he is young and may not fully grasp the situation yet, his memory and emotions might be affected as he grows older.

**Supporting My Kids**

In an effort to mitigate these challenges, I’ve sought out a therapist specializing in children of divorce. This professional will work with both Carter and my three-year-old daughter, Capri, to help them navigate this new reality. While Capri is young and may not fully understand the changes, Carter’s sensitivity makes him more vulnerable to the emotional turmoil.

**The Difficulties of Co-Parenting**

One of the most challenging aspects of this decision is the fact that I won’t be able to spend 50% of my children’s lives with them. This reality hits me hard as a mother, knowing I’ll miss out on half of their upbringing. However, I also know from personal experience that sometimes, seeing parents find happiness post-divorce can be healthier for the family as a whole.

**Learning from My Past**

Looking back at my own childhood, when my parents divorced when I was 13, I saw them become happier individuals after finding new partners and moving on with their lives. This gave me hope that, despite the pain, this decision might ultimately be better for all of us in the long run.

**Navigating Grief and Judgment**

As someone who values social media as a highlight reel of life, I know many people may judge my choice to divorce. There’s a common perception that choosing divorce is giving up or failing as a parent. While I struggle with these feelings daily, I firmly believe that prioritizing one’s own happiness isn’t a failure but rather a necessary step toward living a fulfilling life.

**The Reality of Social Media**

It’s important to recognize that social media often only shows the best parts of someone’s life. Most of us share moments we want to remember or highlight, not the struggles we face behind the scenes. This is why I’ve always tried to be open with my audience about the challenges I’ve faced, such as crippling anxiety and fertility struggles.

**Looking Ahead**

Moving forward, this decision marks a new chapter in my life. While I’m not sure what the future holds or how long this process will take, I plan to continue creating content as usual. I may also share more vlog-style videos about my journey and plans for the future. I hope to address some of your questions in an upcoming Q&A video.

**Gratitude to My Audience**

Throughout this entire journey—being single, finding love, getting engaged, experiencing infertility, and now facing divorce—you’ve been with me every step of the way. Your support means more to me than words can express. I’m grateful for your understanding, even if some of you may morally or personally disagree with my decision.

**Final Thoughts**

Life is unpredictable, and things don’t always go as planned. While this is an incredibly hard path to take, I remain motivated to provide the best life possible for my children. Everything I do is for them, and I hope they will one day understand that this decision was made with their well-being in mind.

As I navigate this new chapter, I ask for your continued support and understanding. Thank you for being a part of my journey—through the good times and the bad. Together, we’ll move forward, knowing that life continues to move on.

Bye, everyone.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enguys so I have filmed some hard videos here on my channel and the time I've been on YouTube this one has got to be one of the hardest I don't even know what to say how to say this so I mean you probably know you saw the title but yes we are getting divorced I did file this week so it is going to be public knowledge and I felt like you deserve to hear it from me and not through gossip or whatever other means I've shared the highs the lows of my journey in the past 10 years or so and I felt like you deserve some sort of explanation or acknowledgment directly from me so that's what this video is and I I do just want to say before we start I'm sure a lot of people are probably watching this video who either don't know me at all or maybe used to watch my videos years ago and have fallen out of touch so I do just want to say this is not representative of me or the content that I make I would encourage you look through my other videos I try to make really positive value-add content I've been consistent posting weekly videos for almost 10 years so I used to post a lot more personal content and Vlog Style videos and things but that has fallen off recently and now you kind of know why if you've ever been in a position where you are struggling and really not doing well but have to put on you know a brave face and continue to go to work and be there for your kids you understand we are getting divorced and in the final decision the paperwork has been filed and I know hearing that many of you might be surprised maybe some of you saw it coming I don't really know what the public perception is of my life or relationship but the reality is is that it didn't work out and it is absolutely heart-wrenching devastating I am really struggling and I feel like I'm going through the cycle of grief almost daily um I'm having a hard time keeping it together eating sleeping but I am getting the support that I need so I know the big question a lot of you are probably asking right now is why what happened what went wrong and I totally get that because whenever I see couples I know get divorced I want to know why I want to figure it out I want that sort of closure or whatever it may be and as much as I wish and if it were just totally up to me I would share I feel like you guys who watch me are friends at this point you know we have two young kids and one day they might watch this video and I really do not want to say anything negative what I will say to you is if you do you know me at all you should know that this isn't a decision that I would take lightly I have a six-year-old and a two-year-old I would not do this to them if I felt like the situation was salvageable and so unfortunately it's not going to work out and a big reason I am like almost scared to share this is because I know there's a lot of judgment on divorce that's giving up you're not doing what's best for your kids you are a failure like yes trust me I know I am grappling with those feelings every day every night um but ultimately I feel like if you choose yourself and you choose your own happiness that can't be seen as a failure we all have One Life to Live and I want to be happy and that's it I know another thing that will probably come up is you didn't work hard enough you need to keep working at your marriage and not give up so this is a situation where I I feel confident in saying that we did give it our all we did couples therapy we did all the things that we needed to do I feel at peace knowing that we really did try we have been together for 10 years married for almost eight years now the biggest Factor here are my kids and this is going to be hard for me to even talk about because like I said I was a child of divorce myself I am terrified of what this is going to do to my kids my son Carter he's six he it's like a little mini version of me he's very sensitive and I don't know how he's gonna take it but I am being proactive I have a therapist like who specializes in this who it's actually going to work with me first Capri she's only three I think she'll be okay she's pretty happy go lucky I don't know if she'll fully understand or she'll really have any memories I don't know if she's gonna have any memories of us as a family which gosh that makes me so sad but Carter definitely will he has an amazing memory I don't know how he is gonna take it and the one thing I will say I'm so confident like both of us love those kids with everything we have it's just beyond comprehension and something I literally can't even think about or it's hard to even say out loud is that I won't be with them 50 of the time like half of their life now I won't I'm gonna miss out on that half of their life so that should tell you something like I understand the gravity of this when my parents got divorced it was much better for me I was 13 um seeing them both independently happy and just doing better than when they were together and fighting all the time like that was a lot harder for me and more stressful for me so I'm just hoping that ultimately it's going to be best for the kids to have parents who are happy I mean this whole process is just starting I don't know how long it's going to take I don't know what's coming my way and I'm really just trying to take things day by day not even day by day like half a day at a time because this is not the easy decision to make this is the much harder path to take I have tried to be real and authentic here at my time on YouTube if you go back through my video library I've done several videos talking about issues in my marriage and starting couples therapy like I try to have those conversations it's really hard for me to act happy and like everything's fine when I'm not specifically on my Instagram stories if you just watch me here on YouTube these are more of my like polish like how-to videos but I share more of my life and everything over on Instagram story I have tried to have those difficult conversations I shared with you guys when I had like crippling anxiety and depression and had to go on medication I've shared my fertility struggles um yes I'm not on here posting every time we've had an issue or anything like that and I just don't think that is what social media is used for most of us are using social media to share highlights and the positive things and the cute moments and the things we want to remember I get how it seems like social music and I'm not even necessarily disagreeing with that I I think that social media is just used as a highlight reel so don't ever think that you really know what is going on in someone's life so in terms of where do I go from here what's next for me that's a huge question and I probably will do a whole separate video on that my next chapter and maybe taking you guys along that Journey with me if you are interested in seeing that starting over but I am trying to find the strength Within Myself to tackle everything that's going to come my way and try and have as good of an attitude about it as I can I am more motivated than ever now as a single mom to work even harder and to provide the best life I can for my kids everything I do is for them I love them more than I love myself I hope that one day they will be proud of me because again this is not the easy decision for me to make this is the much much harder path so yes I will continue making my regular videos as normal and then potentially also including some Vlog content about what's going on and my plans for the future maybe I'll do a q a and try to address more questions because I I hope you can understand as much as I want to share all of the details that is not fair so the last thing I want to say just to wrap this up is you all all of you who watch me especially my regular viewers have been my angels through this entire time here on YouTube you've seen me through being single getting in a relationship getting engaged my honeymoon being pregnant with my first child infertility is my second try like we have really been through it and that's life okay things happen things evolve and you don't always plan for things that come your way but you just have to ride along with it and I just thank you for being here on this journey with me thank you for all of your support thank you for understanding I know some people just on a principle like moral level disagree with divorce and I get that I understand that I never wanted to get divorced um if you do have any questions I'm thinking of doing a q a like what's next video in the next couple of weeks so leave any questions you have down below please watch some of my other videos don't let this be your first and only impression of me I promise you I'm normally much happier than this I will be okay it will be okay life moves on I know it's really hard right now but with time I'm sure it will get easier so I will see you guys soon with another video byeguys so I have filmed some hard videos here on my channel and the time I've been on YouTube this one has got to be one of the hardest I don't even know what to say how to say this so I mean you probably know you saw the title but yes we are getting divorced I did file this week so it is going to be public knowledge and I felt like you deserve to hear it from me and not through gossip or whatever other means I've shared the highs the lows of my journey in the past 10 years or so and I felt like you deserve some sort of explanation or acknowledgment directly from me so that's what this video is and I I do just want to say before we start I'm sure a lot of people are probably watching this video who either don't know me at all or maybe used to watch my videos years ago and have fallen out of touch so I do just want to say this is not representative of me or the content that I make I would encourage you look through my other videos I try to make really positive value-add content I've been consistent posting weekly videos for almost 10 years so I used to post a lot more personal content and Vlog Style videos and things but that has fallen off recently and now you kind of know why if you've ever been in a position where you are struggling and really not doing well but have to put on you know a brave face and continue to go to work and be there for your kids you understand we are getting divorced and in the final decision the paperwork has been filed and I know hearing that many of you might be surprised maybe some of you saw it coming I don't really know what the public perception is of my life or relationship but the reality is is that it didn't work out and it is absolutely heart-wrenching devastating I am really struggling and I feel like I'm going through the cycle of grief almost daily um I'm having a hard time keeping it together eating sleeping but I am getting the support that I need so I know the big question a lot of you are probably asking right now is why what happened what went wrong and I totally get that because whenever I see couples I know get divorced I want to know why I want to figure it out I want that sort of closure or whatever it may be and as much as I wish and if it were just totally up to me I would share I feel like you guys who watch me are friends at this point you know we have two young kids and one day they might watch this video and I really do not want to say anything negative what I will say to you is if you do you know me at all you should know that this isn't a decision that I would take lightly I have a six-year-old and a two-year-old I would not do this to them if I felt like the situation was salvageable and so unfortunately it's not going to work out and a big reason I am like almost scared to share this is because I know there's a lot of judgment on divorce that's giving up you're not doing what's best for your kids you are a failure like yes trust me I know I am grappling with those feelings every day every night um but ultimately I feel like if you choose yourself and you choose your own happiness that can't be seen as a failure we all have One Life to Live and I want to be happy and that's it I know another thing that will probably come up is you didn't work hard enough you need to keep working at your marriage and not give up so this is a situation where I I feel confident in saying that we did give it our all we did couples therapy we did all the things that we needed to do I feel at peace knowing that we really did try we have been together for 10 years married for almost eight years now the biggest Factor here are my kids and this is going to be hard for me to even talk about because like I said I was a child of divorce myself I am terrified of what this is going to do to my kids my son Carter he's six he it's like a little mini version of me he's very sensitive and I don't know how he's gonna take it but I am being proactive I have a therapist like who specializes in this who it's actually going to work with me first Capri she's only three I think she'll be okay she's pretty happy go lucky I don't know if she'll fully understand or she'll really have any memories I don't know if she's gonna have any memories of us as a family which gosh that makes me so sad but Carter definitely will he has an amazing memory I don't know how he is gonna take it and the one thing I will say I'm so confident like both of us love those kids with everything we have it's just beyond comprehension and something I literally can't even think about or it's hard to even say out loud is that I won't be with them 50 of the time like half of their life now I won't I'm gonna miss out on that half of their life so that should tell you something like I understand the gravity of this when my parents got divorced it was much better for me I was 13 um seeing them both independently happy and just doing better than when they were together and fighting all the time like that was a lot harder for me and more stressful for me so I'm just hoping that ultimately it's going to be best for the kids to have parents who are happy I mean this whole process is just starting I don't know how long it's going to take I don't know what's coming my way and I'm really just trying to take things day by day not even day by day like half a day at a time because this is not the easy decision to make this is the much harder path to take I have tried to be real and authentic here at my time on YouTube if you go back through my video library I've done several videos talking about issues in my marriage and starting couples therapy like I try to have those conversations it's really hard for me to act happy and like everything's fine when I'm not specifically on my Instagram stories if you just watch me here on YouTube these are more of my like polish like how-to videos but I share more of my life and everything over on Instagram story I have tried to have those difficult conversations I shared with you guys when I had like crippling anxiety and depression and had to go on medication I've shared my fertility struggles um yes I'm not on here posting every time we've had an issue or anything like that and I just don't think that is what social media is used for most of us are using social media to share highlights and the positive things and the cute moments and the things we want to remember I get how it seems like social music and I'm not even necessarily disagreeing with that I I think that social media is just used as a highlight reel so don't ever think that you really know what is going on in someone's life so in terms of where do I go from here what's next for me that's a huge question and I probably will do a whole separate video on that my next chapter and maybe taking you guys along that Journey with me if you are interested in seeing that starting over but I am trying to find the strength Within Myself to tackle everything that's going to come my way and try and have as good of an attitude about it as I can I am more motivated than ever now as a single mom to work even harder and to provide the best life I can for my kids everything I do is for them I love them more than I love myself I hope that one day they will be proud of me because again this is not the easy decision for me to make this is the much much harder path so yes I will continue making my regular videos as normal and then potentially also including some Vlog content about what's going on and my plans for the future maybe I'll do a q a and try to address more questions because I I hope you can understand as much as I want to share all of the details that is not fair so the last thing I want to say just to wrap this up is you all all of you who watch me especially my regular viewers have been my angels through this entire time here on YouTube you've seen me through being single getting in a relationship getting engaged my honeymoon being pregnant with my first child infertility is my second try like we have really been through it and that's life okay things happen things evolve and you don't always plan for things that come your way but you just have to ride along with it and I just thank you for being here on this journey with me thank you for all of your support thank you for understanding I know some people just on a principle like moral level disagree with divorce and I get that I understand that I never wanted to get divorced um if you do have any questions I'm thinking of doing a q a like what's next video in the next couple of weeks so leave any questions you have down below please watch some of my other videos don't let this be your first and only impression of me I promise you I'm normally much happier than this I will be okay it will be okay life moves on I know it's really hard right now but with time I'm sure it will get easier so I will see you guys soon with another video bye\n"