"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enhello guys I decided to do a little bonus video Vlog style q a to address some of the burning juicy questions you have regarding the divorce what's next what's going on because my life right now is like a legitimate soap opera I'm starting over I'm in my single mom era so there's a lot to discuss and don't be fooled by my perky demeanor I mean things are a roller coaster but I am focusing so much on my mental health right now and getting into a good mindset the first question that has been coming up a lot is am I moving what's the living situation so no I am not planning on moving if I can at all avoid it I love my house I'm a home buddy I live right down the street from my dad and my stepmom and when we got this house in 2016 it was so affordable compared to real estate now and I refinanced to a 15-year mortgage in which I am paying less every month for my mortgage then I would pay if I got an apartment or a condo in my area because real estate prices in San Diego are crazy and he is currently still here which in some ways is really hard in some ways is good for the kids because as long as he's here it's less disruption but legally he is entitled to stay here until everything is finalized and how long does the divorce take um well I learned in California minimum of six months could take years just depending on how things play out I really hope that is not the case next question is do the kids know what is going on yet and no they do not because again as long as he's still living here you know their routine has not really changed all that much and that is something that I'm dreading the most because Carter is my sensitive boy and I don't know how he's gonna take it so now I'm gonna get into some tea okay because some questions I'm getting is am I going to date again when and and my answer may shock you here's the truth of matter you guys um I am not planning on dating again ever or having any sort of romantic relationship again and I know that sounds dramatic and when I tell people this they're like oh Brittany you're just going through a breakup you say this now but you're going to change your mind and look maybe I will I'm not going to say I'll never change my mind but at this point in time I am just not interested in being with anybody like I've seen what I need to see I I just want to write solo I just want to focus on myself my kids and I have so many great friends and family nearby I just don't see romance in the cards for me and being totally honest I'm a little bit scarred I'm damaged from all of this so it's just not on my radar whatsoever and I am okay with that I'm good with that and I think we need to normalize people choosing to be single yes I'm in therapy to sort out some of my thoughts feelings traumas all of that but I really do feel that I'm just done with romance with relationships and there are other things to life there's more to life next question are we talking are we on speaking terms and we do communicate via text about the kids and that's kind of where we're at we're doing kind of like a split custody Arrangement while we still live together and we're basically like ships in the night I'm about to eat lunch now and it's something that has really been helping me a lot is I am very dedicated to meal prepping because if I don't prep my meals in advance then I just end up eating like crap and if I eat junkie then I just don't feel as good I have low energy I have lower mood so for my lunches I have been making salads for the week in advance and I try to make them fun and new and exciting every week so I have a lot of different toppings when I go to eat it I'll also add an avocado I've been liking this Green Goddess dressing and then for my dinner meal prep I have a little half that has really helped me it is so smart you need to try this so I have started ordering the hellofresh meal kits but I'll order for a larger portion size so I only have to cook once and then that becomes my meal prep and I have meals and dinner for the rest of the week and I I even worked with them years ago I'm very excited that they are sponsoring this portion of today's video so I can give you guys a discount code 50 off if you want to try it and specifically try it for your meal prep with the school you're starting this is just one less thing you have to think about one less thing you have to worry about I don't have to find the recipes I don't have to go out and shop for all the ingredients like it just comes to me and it makes it much easier and have so many good options on there what I do is I go on the app and I'll just scroll through what recipes look good and I try to pick more vegetable dishes like more healthy dishes and they also have a lot of dishes on there that you can fully make in under 15 minutes they're the quick and fast meals another cool thing they now have a ton of different optional add-on items so you can add on side dishes extra protein lunch options even desserts and treats over the years I have tried pretty much every meal kit service that is out there hellofresh is my favorite the food just tastes the bus the price is amazing for everything that you get this is just a really easy way to take one really annoying stressful weekly task of what are we all having for dinner every single night of my life let hellofresh do it for you so go to hellofresh.com and you can put in my code 50b of Sword to get 50 off and free shipping I will have all the information down in the description box and also the first pin comment now I'm going to wash my makeup brushes something I haven't done in too long side now you guys these are the best makeup brushes an entire set it's like under 30 bucks next question I'm going to address is what about this divorce is the most difficult what is stressing me out the most and first and foremost above everything else is how this is going to affect the kids specifically Carter but I think not until Ryan moves out or we're gonna need to really have that conversation and we're going to work with a therapist the other thing that is beyond comprehension chin is how expensive this is my legal bills for this month is the same amount that I was paid for my first job out of college my annual salary like that is the level here I don't know if this is common for all the courses or just ours or what is going on but between the retainers and the forensic accountants and all this stuff it is crazy and yesterday I had a panic attack like full-on I got my first bill and I was like how to panic attack and I followed the tip from my last video like I did a meditation I did the physiological side like that breathing technique and I was able to get myself out of a panic attack but yeah that is why I am particularly grateful right now for Brands like hellofresh and for you guys if you ever shop through my link because I just feel this whole new level of pressure to provide not just for myself but for my kids just have to stay positive that everything's going to be okay it's all going to work out another question that I think is really interesting that I wanted to touch on is were there any red flags what are things to avoid to look out for a couple big ones that I will teach my children the first is when people show you who they are believe them the first time when you were at a point that you are starting to make excuses for someone or you are hoping wishing they're going to change I would say that's a big warning sign also my little approach to dating that is not going to apply to me because I'm not planning on dating but for my kids this is what I will share with them it's the red orange flag Theory okay so red flags are things that if somebody does that's an instant deal breaker if you see that behavior then they are cut off you cut your losses and run so know what your red flags are and then the orange flags are things that are serious but possibly could change I would give them three chances to address a big behavior that is an orange flag once you communicate to them and if that happens three times without changing at that point it then is becoming a pattern and there's a very low chance that it will ever change and then the situation flips where it becomes on you because you are allowing that behavior to a certain extent what you tolerate you encourage so you have to be able to identify those patterns and if someone does not take you seriously and does not make those changes you have to do what is best for you another huge thing that I never really thought to look for that I think is hugely vastly important and cannot be understated and that is to really pay attention to how somebody reacts in an argument or if you are expressing negative feelings to them or do they hear you do they validate you how are they in a conflict or do they get defensive do they turn things on you because through a course of a relationship you're gonna have to work through things things and how somebody does that can determine whether you succeed or fail and again these are kind of just general things that I've learned in my life not specific to our situation necessarily so that is going to wrap up this little q a vlog Style video don't forget if you want to try hello fresh my link for 50 off is in the description box I'm telling you it is so convenient the food is so good and it just takes a huge stress off your plate of what are we having for dinner every single night of your life let them come up with the recipes send you the food and make your life that much easier so again all the information is in the description box and with all of that said thank you guys for all of your support I'm calling you guys my support Squad I could not be getting through this nearly as well without you I appreciate you so much and all that said I will see you soon with a new video byehello guys I decided to do a little bonus video Vlog style q a to address some of the burning juicy questions you have regarding the divorce what's next what's going on because my life right now is like a legitimate soap opera I'm starting over I'm in my single mom era so there's a lot to discuss and don't be fooled by my perky demeanor I mean things are a roller coaster but I am focusing so much on my mental health right now and getting into a good mindset the first question that has been coming up a lot is am I moving what's the living situation so no I am not planning on moving if I can at all avoid it I love my house I'm a home buddy I live right down the street from my dad and my stepmom and when we got this house in 2016 it was so affordable compared to real estate now and I refinanced to a 15-year mortgage in which I am paying less every month for my mortgage then I would pay if I got an apartment or a condo in my area because real estate prices in San Diego are crazy and he is currently still here which in some ways is really hard in some ways is good for the kids because as long as he's here it's less disruption but legally he is entitled to stay here until everything is finalized and how long does the divorce take um well I learned in California minimum of six months could take years just depending on how things play out I really hope that is not the case next question is do the kids know what is going on yet and no they do not because again as long as he's still living here you know their routine has not really changed all that much and that is something that I'm dreading the most because Carter is my sensitive boy and I don't know how he's gonna take it so now I'm gonna get into some tea okay because some questions I'm getting is am I going to date again when and and my answer may shock you here's the truth of matter you guys um I am not planning on dating again ever or having any sort of romantic relationship again and I know that sounds dramatic and when I tell people this they're like oh Brittany you're just going through a breakup you say this now but you're going to change your mind and look maybe I will I'm not going to say I'll never change my mind but at this point in time I am just not interested in being with anybody like I've seen what I need to see I I just want to write solo I just want to focus on myself my kids and I have so many great friends and family nearby I just don't see romance in the cards for me and being totally honest I'm a little bit scarred I'm damaged from all of this so it's just not on my radar whatsoever and I am okay with that I'm good with that and I think we need to normalize people choosing to be single yes I'm in therapy to sort out some of my thoughts feelings traumas all of that but I really do feel that I'm just done with romance with relationships and there are other things to life there's more to life next question are we talking are we on speaking terms and we do communicate via text about the kids and that's kind of where we're at we're doing kind of like a split custody Arrangement while we still live together and we're basically like ships in the night I'm about to eat lunch now and it's something that has really been helping me a lot is I am very dedicated to meal prepping because if I don't prep my meals in advance then I just end up eating like crap and if I eat junkie then I just don't feel as good I have low energy I have lower mood so for my lunches I have been making salads for the week in advance and I try to make them fun and new and exciting every week so I have a lot of different toppings when I go to eat it I'll also add an avocado I've been liking this Green Goddess dressing and then for my dinner meal prep I have a little half that has really helped me it is so smart you need to try this so I have started ordering the hellofresh meal kits but I'll order for a larger portion size so I only have to cook once and then that becomes my meal prep and I have meals and dinner for the rest of the week and I I even worked with them years ago I'm very excited that they are sponsoring this portion of today's video so I can give you guys a discount code 50 off if you want to try it and specifically try it for your meal prep with the school you're starting this is just one less thing you have to think about one less thing you have to worry about I don't have to find the recipes I don't have to go out and shop for all the ingredients like it just comes to me and it makes it much easier and have so many good options on there what I do is I go on the app and I'll just scroll through what recipes look good and I try to pick more vegetable dishes like more healthy dishes and they also have a lot of dishes on there that you can fully make in under 15 minutes they're the quick and fast meals another cool thing they now have a ton of different optional add-on items so you can add on side dishes extra protein lunch options even desserts and treats over the years I have tried pretty much every meal kit service that is out there hellofresh is my favorite the food just tastes the bus the price is amazing for everything that you get this is just a really easy way to take one really annoying stressful weekly task of what are we all having for dinner every single night of my life let hellofresh do it for you so go to hellofresh.com and you can put in my code 50b of Sword to get 50 off and free shipping I will have all the information down in the description box and also the first pin comment now I'm going to wash my makeup brushes something I haven't done in too long side now you guys these are the best makeup brushes an entire set it's like under 30 bucks next question I'm going to address is what about this divorce is the most difficult what is stressing me out the most and first and foremost above everything else is how this is going to affect the kids specifically Carter but I think not until Ryan moves out or we're gonna need to really have that conversation and we're going to work with a therapist the other thing that is beyond comprehension chin is how expensive this is my legal bills for this month is the same amount that I was paid for my first job out of college my annual salary like that is the level here I don't know if this is common for all the courses or just ours or what is going on but between the retainers and the forensic accountants and all this stuff it is crazy and yesterday I had a panic attack like full-on I got my first bill and I was like how to panic attack and I followed the tip from my last video like I did a meditation I did the physiological side like that breathing technique and I was able to get myself out of a panic attack but yeah that is why I am particularly grateful right now for Brands like hellofresh and for you guys if you ever shop through my link because I just feel this whole new level of pressure to provide not just for myself but for my kids just have to stay positive that everything's going to be okay it's all going to work out another question that I think is really interesting that I wanted to touch on is were there any red flags what are things to avoid to look out for a couple big ones that I will teach my children the first is when people show you who they are believe them the first time when you were at a point that you are starting to make excuses for someone or you are hoping wishing they're going to change I would say that's a big warning sign also my little approach to dating that is not going to apply to me because I'm not planning on dating but for my kids this is what I will share with them it's the red orange flag Theory okay so red flags are things that if somebody does that's an instant deal breaker if you see that behavior then they are cut off you cut your losses and run so know what your red flags are and then the orange flags are things that are serious but possibly could change I would give them three chances to address a big behavior that is an orange flag once you communicate to them and if that happens three times without changing at that point it then is becoming a pattern and there's a very low chance that it will ever change and then the situation flips where it becomes on you because you are allowing that behavior to a certain extent what you tolerate you encourage so you have to be able to identify those patterns and if someone does not take you seriously and does not make those changes you have to do what is best for you another huge thing that I never really thought to look for that I think is hugely vastly important and cannot be understated and that is to really pay attention to how somebody reacts in an argument or if you are expressing negative feelings to them or do they hear you do they validate you how are they in a conflict or do they get defensive do they turn things on you because through a course of a relationship you're gonna have to work through things things and how somebody does that can determine whether you succeed or fail and again these are kind of just general things that I've learned in my life not specific to our situation necessarily so that is going to wrap up this little q a vlog Style video don't forget if you want to try hello fresh my link for 50 off is in the description box I'm telling you it is so convenient the food is so good and it just takes a huge stress off your plate of what are we having for dinner every single night of your life let them come up with the recipes send you the food and make your life that much easier so again all the information is in the description box and with all of that said thank you guys for all of your support I'm calling you guys my support Squad I could not be getting through this nearly as well without you I appreciate you so much and all that said I will see you soon with a new video bye\n"