The UmFend Project: A Journey of Confusion and Discovery

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to UmFend. Now, UmFend is...a love story? About something. Hmm, don't like that at all. Anyway, we're gonna remember now. I don't know what we're remembering but...something tells me we forgot it for a reason and maybe we should just leave well enough alone and go about our daily lives.

As Markiplier delves deeper into the mystery of UmFend, he finds himself transported back to 2005. In this year, he was deeply immersed in World of Warcraft, a popular massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) at the time. However, it seems that Markiplier's memories of World of Warcraft are hazy, and he struggles to recall specific details about his gameplay experience.

The confusion continues as Markiplier attempts to remember another aspect of his past. He comes across a device labeled "FLEER" with an instruction manual that reads: "To do: find batteries, water the plant, bring the seed, pour the fleer." The instructions seem bizarre and nonsensical to Markiplier, who can't help but wonder what "fleer" is. Despite his confusion, he decides to press on and complete the tasks outlined in the manual.

Markiplier's journey takes an unexpected turn as he discovers a mysterious room filled with strange objects. He finds himself surrounded by unfamiliar items, including a plant that appears to be in need of watering. As he tries to find batteries for the device, he comes across a cup labeled "cup to use for fleer." The words on the screen begin to make sense only when Markiplier singsong, adding water to his cup.

The room continues to reveal its secrets as Markiplier searches for any clues that might explain the purpose of the mysterious device. He stumbles upon a box with a battery that he decides to insert into it, hoping to unlock more information about "fleer." The instructions begin to make sense only when Markiplier finds a plant and water it. As he continues to follow the manual's steps, he discovers a shocking truth: fleer is not just an object but also a necessary component for a specific purpose.

Markiplier finds himself on the cusp of discovering the true nature of "fleer." He realizes that drinking it might be essential to solving the mystery of UmFend. However, his hesitation is justified as he later discovers that there's something more important than just finding out what fleer is. It seems like Markiplier's life was a part of some game.

After numerous attempts and failed guesses about what "fleer" could be, Markiplier gets excited about getting batteries for the device. However, when using them to power it, he discovers something more significant than just lights or sounds - he finds out that there is a real-life equivalent of the mysterious world created in a computer game.

As the journey continues, Markiplier stumbles upon another important thing - his home. He realizes that the whole experience was like stepping into a video game. Everything seemed so much different at first, but after playing for some time, it started to feel familiar. Markiplier eventually finds himself thinking of the five basic food groups: grains, fruit, vegetables, meat, and water.

In an attempt to recall a popular video game he played in the past, Markiplier tries to identify its name. However, his memories are elusive, leaving him with confusion about which title it might be - Cities of Heroes or World of Warcraft? The search for a solution continues as Markiplier starts searching around the room.

Markiplier stumbles upon a plant that seems out of place in the device he's trying to operate. When watering this plant, something unexpected occurs: water seems to be flowing and coming from its leaves instead of a natural source. However, the main goal remains - figuring out what fleer is all about.

After an extensive search for clues, Markiplier comes across his cup filled with water that he used earlier in the process. It's surprising how much more understandable things seem now that he has some idea of what "fleer" might be. Using this information, he decides to continue moving forward and see where it takes him.

Markiplier finds himself facing another challenge as he navigates through a part of his room where he can't quite enter or use the light switch. This area seems to have an invisible boundary that prevents him from entering it.

In an attempt to unlock more information, Markiplier decides to press on despite some uncertainty. After numerous trials and errors, he manages to discover what fleer might be and uses this newfound knowledge in hopes of solving the problem at hand - a puzzle left unsolved by himself earlier.

The journey finally comes to an end as Markiplier has figured out how everything was connected together. With the device fully functional and understanding its true purpose more clearly than before, Markiplier realizes that his whole adventure has been nothing short of unbelievable.

Markiplier takes one final moment to appreciate what he's just discovered - a branch-armed monster standing in front of him. The realization hits hard as he understands that this isn't just about solving puzzles but also unraveling the mysteries behind something greater than himself.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enHello everybody, my name is (static) Markiplier and welcome to UmFend. Now UmFend is...... a love story?? About...SomethingHmm, don't like that at all... anyway. We're gonna. We're gonna remember nowI don't know what we're remembering but...Something tells me we forgot it for a reason and maybe we should just leave well enough alone and go about our daily l-i-i-ives *glitch*Oh boy, Oh?2005... OH I was deep in my World of Warcraft days in 2005!!Wait... No was it wasn't even out yet!I can't even remember now. No! No that's not right I was in cities of her- a city of heroesThat's when I was playing okay. What is this?*giggle* P-put the seeed!I don't know about that one. I don't know about.. no.. it's being filled with fLeEr!? *giggle*Oh, yes! *giggle* The five basic food groups: grains, fruit, vegetables, meat, FLEER!Okaaay...Water the plant *more Markigiggling*, I don't know - I don't know what that is over there... OOHDid I get a battery or is that chalk?It needs batteries. Well I put one in.I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the rest of it. Oh, this is bizarre. Oh, I don't like thisOh crystal emitting strange waves many charged particlesFLEER: DON'T *giggle*DRINK ITWhat's FLEER?! To do: find batteries, water the plant, bring the seed, pour the fleer. WHAT'S FLEER??!!The fuck is fleer?!?!I mean I've already identified what fleer is, but you know... I just want to know what you guys think fleer is.OkayAlright then, ahh... ohhIs this my hooome?Maybe.This looks like, uh...And there was a game that I played a while back that I really really loved; it was pixelated in almost this exact - ehH-Oh, it's a branch. At least I hope it's a branch! It's a branch-armed monStER! Oh.Okay, yeah, I can't remember what it's called right now, but it was really good. I'm wondering if this is made by the same peopleOkay! (heavily sniffs air) No, I don't like that!Ooh! That's marginally better! OOH floppy slippers!Ooo! Cup to use for fleEr. Oh, I hope anyway. Let's fill the cup up with water! *singsong*Okay, maybe not! That was ju- I got some water in my cup. I'm so happy about that fact!Okaaay, I guess I'm done here. Can I - OK there we go. Is this the fleer I've heard so much about!You can't go in here, you can't turn on that light. Okay!I think I got everything that I neeeeeed!I got baaatteriiiiies (Yay!)I can water the plant now. Maybe I've got a box of seed, and then some fleer!Doot, doot, doot, doot!Wow...WOoOW!OoooH! WHAT!? Oh, fleer!I shouldn't drink it. I really shouldn't, but I really need that fifth fruit group. OhWatered! Ohh..That's a little too green. I don't think a plant's supposed to do that!!!Put the seed... I DON'T HAVE NO SE-E-ED!I don't have any of this so-calledSEED that you're talking about. Is there a seat around here that I'm not seeing??That for some reason - oh good a skateboard! I can get all radical and slide on out of hereYeah, that's what the kids say, right? They- when they're skateboarding like \"we're gonna get all radical with our FLEER!\"We're gonna go chug some FLEER and get radical on our skateboards!Yeah, fellow kids?Is that what you say? WE say? is that what we say, fellow kids? oh?There it is! How did I miss you?It's so NOT tiny and...Impossible to see. I have the seed now!And I shall put it on my device that I built and I know what fleer isTime to get radical!Oh, that's not good.I don't like that. No that's probably- that's- that's one of those \"not good\" things!Should I push the button? Aah, this button! Big button!Boink!OOOHHhhUm! Maybe we shouldn't be messing with the interdimensional amoebas..Maybe that's uh- maybe that's a big 'ol no noOoh! WAAA!! Ookay- oh nnnoh(Mark?)(You mkay?)\"Reset the power in the kitchen...\" might as well give myself a big old glass of FLEER while I'm....Oh no, even I can't limbo that low! I'm not radical enough! Uh-ohAll right.Well, hopefully nothing's gonna happen on the way to the kitchen.Where would I... is this the fus-e box-o?Mmm... kerchunkles? wooh!All better in this neighborhood.*creepy giggly bitch entrance*Um hi. Hello, I know I'm hilarious, but you don't need to laugh so eagerly.*wimpers like a wuss*Okay, all right, (multiple \"woah\"s and \"OH\"S)(more \"woah's\" and \"OH's\"...)oooohoohUm. I'm here. I will return to you... (rereads)I will return you. To restore: the cable, the core module, battery, the crystal. We have time to talk...I don't wanna ta-a-a-ha-ha-alkI don't want to talk. What did you do with my Fleer? Oh you stole all my FLEER?oh no... (giggles more)Okay, I gotta go find some... batteriesooohThat wasn't there-Oh, that's a hyuuman.Or not a human!Oh, what are you?Hi!Hello!OOOHHHHHHHhhhhokayAll rightI have nothing to say about thatI am sure that that is fine!and I am fine!and everything is fine...What is that...?Has that-Has that painting alwaysbeen like that?Have I alwayshad a weird mushroomon my-counter--top..?-thing?*gasp* Nope, nope nope nope nope nopeJust gonna turn that-okayalrightwell...*whale ungulating noises*mmmDon't like that... oh...Okay, no batteries in here that I can seeBatteries in here maybe? Oh. Oh! Door open! Oh how helpful. Ugh...How not helpful clicky clacky? ohOkayDon't trust this at all. There's definitely something bad happening here. I don't know want to know what that rat tail isHmm. Oh, it's a rope rope hereAll right nothing else? nothing in the laundry. Why did I get rope? I don't know why I got rope- AUGHAll right time oh that's not good ohThat's OhHiNo, no, no, it's some PT bullshit up in hereOh, no. No, no don't be sniffing me, and I ain't got your FLEER. Well you go get radical out of hereohthat star oh oh oh ohthat's not goodAre you in my hair? Are you and my precious, beautiful hair, what did you do?Haven't actually tried the door well I guess it-Wha-HEYI Told you no sniff snoffing, don't you be sniffs snorfing all over me. I know I smell really good, butHey, I don't know which way to lookAbout one of these? is that gonna do it for you? is this on lockdown? nope okay well alright thenPeople anymore babies crawling around the ceiling huh any more babies?Alright, you know I don't like those ceiling babi- OhWell IDidn't find a goddamn dick diddly thing that I needed except some rope and I still got my slippersBut I don't think that's gonna help meAlright, can I reset the power? no, ok alright time to go see what new message is on the board!!Yeah, is this supposed to be something. I don't think so I don't think that's anything.Nothin, all right. What do you got for me my skateboard still there?Ok oh the cable the cable. I don't even know- ok the cable is restoredHeyHow you doing how you doingBuddy do you remember me? No, you know?What no I don't I don't remember you at all, but I want to,later and another time. Oh trust meI really want to know youWhat's so wet and slips slapping over here who's slip slapping?That's not good. Oh, that's not goodI think I still got that baby in my hair, but that's alrightDon't know about that oneWhy does it sound like someone's crunching bones in here.Hello?Anybody in here?OkayYou think I'd have some sort of internal monologue about the strange is happening in my own home, but alas I do notThink your new you're gonna lock me in here again is baby gonna crawl out of toilet. OhThat's not goodThat's not good at all. Oh, that's not good. Hey heyUm my shit, don't get my Fleer you stay the hell away from my FleerI don't think those are supposed to be on the ceiling there's a lot of things on the CI yeah, ah shit, ahshit, you know IDon't like your habit of putting my shit and babies on the ceiling. It's not good. It's not nice ourThat's not rightSomething tells me that ain't rightOkay, all right. What else you got in store for me is the bathtub on the ceiling - no, okay, all right?Then well, I guess I'll just mosey on back to my homeCan INo, all right. Well. That's locked so is there something in the the new kitchen design that youThink that I should know about oh the faucets on well. That's obviously the most incorrect thing in this placeMiss save some water if there's one thing I always keep in mind when my life is in imminent peril is I was concernedohAll right thenConserving power is also a very intelligent thing to do OhCelie God why am I suddenly checking the ceiling for ceiling babies you put this fear and mate umUmfend oh, it's not oh, that'sThat's really not goodAll right oh, no not another ceiling, baby all right go, okay. Well OhOh remember remember remember remember remember remember did youForget me apparently I did you knowApparently you think I would have remembered some kind of ethereal horror like this, but you know you know how it is I get busyBusy with life busy with forgetting wooThat's not good. I don't like how there's a forest of leaves in my living roomNot my ideal still locked okay?Why'd it get quiet?I knew you were up to something you dick ohOkay, all right. Oh now. I can read it clearly. Oh now. It's less threatening against my lifeThanks for turning the lights back on no ohNo(X2)No(X4)No(X5) {YES}Turn these I liked it better when it was quiet. I'm gonna goHmm oh goodYou've put my chairs back in their proper places. I'm so happy about that. Hey battery. Well. That's handyI hope I only need oneCuz god damn it. This is notPleasant okay, turn that on okay all right. Well. I got a battery IWish I didn't turn out the light cuz I can't see shitOkay, well there it is huh Wow much better okay? Helloyou got my frill, I'mAnita all right AnitaOkay, I'm battery connected IJust need some FlairOkay, the core module and the crystal well. I'm halfway to insanity. Let's keep moving, huh?All right, oh, hi. Well. How are you Anita?HelloHow's it goingFair fair thee well, okay, well that's not right hmm, and I just wanted to pop a squatmaybe watch some Netflix with you, butAlas it looks like okay. You are taller than I remember you being with longer armsI don't like that at all very slender s. Can you get out of my fridge? Hey, that'sOkay, okay. Well I?Know I don't keep a well-stocked fridgeNoIs that a catWhat is it?It's a cat oh no no noThat's not, I don't remember buying that I have no idea how that heart got it my friendI was holding it for a friend friendLeast I got this nice shapely carrotSausage just close that lets clue. Can I close that nope okay? That's open now. I don't know why that heart was meowing ohThat's not good. Well. OhCan't be any worse than anything I've seen already so I guess I'm mentally prepared for whatever dick 'try you're gonna throw at me. OhOh, no. I wasn't ready. No. I was not ready. Give me a hammer. Give me a hammer pleaseOkay do I still have time to get radical out of here? Oh?My knee babies you know mini babies also known as bugs. Oh, that's that's not goodThat's what I would go not good all right well. That's a problemGonna have to call an exterminator for that one. It seems like there might be uhMight be something I need to take up with landlordright wellDoesn't seem to be do bad, and it seems to have solved itself okay heart OHOr is that a drawing of a butt I never know whichOkay, well so far so not badNo, not today. Is that a meat cleaver or something?No hiOkay, who are you?Don't you remember me? No I don't. Tell me who are you?The girl you ignored at school well alright thenAt school I've been beside you for 11 yearsWhat do you want from me?You don't remember me at all?At all. There were articles about me in newspapers like I readNewspapers come on lady. I always dreamed that you would look my wayI wantedYou to pay attention to me. Well, you could have said hi I mean if this is your way of saying hi very original uhNope, nope no. No no no don't want it. Yeah about past part pass hard hard passFrankly I think I remember why I didn't look your way at all, mmm. Well. That's a problemOkay, well uh must be OhOkay, never mind. Then let me just go ah what a wonderfulDay, ah want a good nap nothing to worry about here. Ohfuck ahI would have been time to go back into my workshopDoodly doodly doodly Doo oh?Boy, oh, man. I'm hungry. I'll take I think I'll go get a snack for youOkay, I'm just gonna go to the bathroomOh man after a nice nap I could use aThat's better gotta wash my hands, no time to get myself a cup of coffeNo you stole my chair, Oh boxJust for me all for meThat's all for me. Oh you shouldn't have well thisempty like my ownEmpty like my heart and my soulMmm. Good time to take your nose bath question mark Oh yep, it's bath timeBut I don't want to take that bath. Oh a bath. Don't look too goodSome right. Somethin aint right about that bathOkayGod what did you do that to me? My nose? You broke my nose?Why would you do that?Why'd you do that huh why would you do that hmm, let me put my core module in there's a heart boxYah, ohCome on don't futz with my Fleer my fleerrRRRMan I worked so hard on that fleer all right thenWhat else do you want from me mm-hmmHello?I hear someone futzing with the radio in therePlease don't I have it set to my favorite station, and I don't know how to change it backAll right thenAm I supposed to go back in here?No, this is still weird alright. That's still weird good to knowAnd now it's open now. Why is it open?Why(Mark contemplates why with rambling)Singing detected whoaHow will you return to me? How die what you think I forgot?how doYou uh?how die?You need to work on your grammarOh you went to school for 11 years, and this is the kind of grammar you come up with some don't add uphmm, that's rightOkay turn that offOkay, never mindYou fuddled with my radio what I told you not okay something seems to be happening with the colorsMy eyes seem to be failing me in this super darknessHmm OhWhat is that Oh?crystal ohI've got the Cristal!Got the crystal you got it here in my handDon't know what it is kind of some weird movingbullshit okayI guess we're just gonna well. That's not rightGot some weird moving bullshit here just gonna put ha that's not rightGot some weird moving bullshit. That's not rightOk got some weird moving bullshithmmmmMMMMMMMTime to put the crystal back, I guess ok did it I need to launch it into the SunDo I need to launch this whole shit into the Sun do I need to do that?because I willOkay, I did it FLEER go go FLEER. Go go go go go FlEerr. Ohhmm, okayAm I supposed to step into thathmm again?Again with this bullshit you think I forgot. Oh, you still broke that on my wall. Oh, it's not goodI don't have a floor with my flashlightOhNo no no no no no(Where's popcorn wnen you need it?)Okay, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Oh it tingles. How it feels weird ah oh that's not goodOkay(Oh-ing intensifies)Beautiful, I love Minecraft okay here we go1996 so this was nine years ago, okay?Hello oh, hi helloThat was it oh manIt was so good oh, so good that was so goodI love that that was so well done ummph and great game. Love it. Love it. Love it. Ahterrifying terrifying very very scary ahIt's so good. Humphhh end was delightful really really it was honestly delightfulI liked it a lot, and if you guys want to play for yourselfmaybe there's something I missed but I'm not a hundred percent sure there could be anything that I missed I'll put a link in theDescription below other than that this was a great game the developer did a great job at thisAlso, the tasteful nudes calendar is still on sale for only24 more hours, but good news you guys as of this recording have already raised over$200,000 to the Cancer Research Institute through that calendar that is an astonishingastonishingAmount of money, and we're not even done with the sale yetPlease if you haven't gotten a calendar yetClicking the link in the description below check it out for yourself all the proceeds that I would get go towards the Cancer ResearchInstitute I don't make a penny off of this. It's all for a great cause and I'm not fully nude, so it's it's alrightIt's good. Anyway. Thank you everybody so much for watching. Thank you. Everybody there's bought a calendar already andThanks for watching and as always I will see you in the next videoBuh bye!\n"