The Unpredictability of Card Draw: A Markiplier Podcast Adventure

As the game of cards commenced, the discussion quickly turned to the rules of the podcast. "We're not doing the podcast, we're playing a goddamn game," one participant declared. The group acknowledged that they were indeed breaking the rules by addressing their subscribers directly. However, this seemed to be part of the fun, with Markiplier joking that it was a new format for the podcast.

One participant brought up an issue with turnip puns, asking if they could be ignored or not read aloud. "No, you have to ignore them," someone replied. The group then switched gears and discussed the importance of ignoring certain topics, including turnips.

As the game progressed, it became clear that some participants were struggling to understand the rules. Markiplier attempted to explain the card draw process, but even he seemed uncertain about what was happening. "I don't know what color you want," he said, referring to a player's hand of cards.

The group eventually decided to establish a system for choosing colors, which seemed to calm everyone down. However, this stability was short-lived, as the discussion quickly turned to the meaning of a certain phrase. One participant asked if it meant they could have 69 points, but it became clear that no one knew what that actually meant.

The conversation continued in a similar vein, with participants making jokes and teasing each other about their lack of knowledge. Markiplier even joked that swaggy's color was blue, despite the fact that it wasn't clearly defined.

Despite the chaos, the group seemed to be having fun. They took turns drawing cards and trying to figure out what they meant. "Don't do that," someone warned, referring to a particular move that seemed to be causing problems. Markiplier then revealed that he had been playing along with the game, even though he wasn't entirely sure how it worked.

As the game reached its climax, the group realized that they were struggling to figure out the rules. "It's not like that," one participant said, but no one seemed to know what they meant. The discussion continued in a similar vein, with participants making jokes and teasing each other about their lack of knowledge.

In the end, it became clear that the game was about having fun, rather than following strict rules. The group laughed and joked as they tried to figure out what was happening. Markiplier even joked that swaggy's color was yellow, despite the fact that no one seemed to know what they wanted. Despite the chaos, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, and the game continued on in a spirit of good-natured confusion.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enall right how do i open the overlay in shift f2 okay there we go yeah alt f4 i hate you hey look all our pictures are there yeah yeah really into bob's middle fingers you just have to believe what the swaggy not barbara oh god i don't know whose swag he is and i don't care no swaggy can't be that bad swaggy could be that bad i don't i don't think you understand how why are you barbara why'd you do that i had a movie i literally i literally had nothing else i could do you had nothing i don't know if you wanted me i want a little bit of fairness i just want a little bit a little bit of fairness and why'd you do that mark why did you change because i was this is what i wanted in the first place wait dial it back we're playing noodle for like nine hours today okay you need to calm down yeah you gotta pace yourself if this is happening go that high for nine hours on the game all right so this game uh god damn it it was my turn oh uh whoever wins everyone else has to gift 50 subs to that person right that's how this works i don't i can't that's my birthday so i'm excited 150 bucks wouldn't it be 250 no it would be fun oh lord oh yes one gift from me yeah uh i will gift one of the numbers in that number i will gift that amount of subs oh boy okay wait here buddy this for you all right thanks man why did you have this many sevens yellow no oh wait no hang on wait no that doesn't have yellow anyone went jumping no balls man i appreciate the i see wait mark i had to play i don't care oh boy oh no yeah oh that's not so good it's definitely not yellow make it yellow to punish me yeah okay uh-huh oh daddy i can do this get in here what are you doing well come on i can't believe it actually was yellow red red yes red red red bread well now i'm not gonna do it what if he has yellow well i mean he's not gonna go i was gonna go to you but i'm not gonna give it what's your problem what's your problem man we just started wait yeah what is that oh it tells us what it is that does it says yay wait i nee i just need a promise from you that you're just gonna you're gonna hold it together and you're just gonna really like try it try to be the man that we all know you can be it's your birthday tomorrow you need to really yeah okay you really what about that oh come on oh funny oh what the oh swaggy oh me coming in hot with the barbara what's up where barbara's got her own alternate identity god damn it all right what are you going to do there almost immediately right back please i'm asking you as a friend wow well when you say it like that how can i not oh thank you thank you i appreciate that man wait a minute seriously just fully i yes like well tomorrow is my birthday and swaggy just me baby oh my god well okay here's a big you from me to you then friend challenge him challenge him he can't possibly be there no i know what he has no you don't know what he had what are you talking about just so that there's not two uno hands i'm gonna challenge i i knew we didn't have any yellows all right okay all right okay all right guys who are henry jimmy and tommy is that a thing is that a reference to something yeah you don't know them oh no wait hang on gta role play marcus henry bob is jimmy wade is tommy who what i don't know who these are god why who is that why am i what swaggy you i really tried to i did not put my dick in your ass i want to be very clear right was like lighting right into the dm's i didn't dig with yours no that's a lie i didn't do that you dick whipped his pee pee and then you put it in my boob i put it in your boob i just want to be clear what the hell you're talking about hang on wait you're swaggy eat my blue you could have said balls suck this bob eat my blue baskets yeah normally mark would have owed me 50 gifted subs there but dude i can't afford to do it do you want me to do you want so like let's both no it's both we're good we are all good we could low stakes this what if you just go on a sweet winning streak oh even one loss would make me go broke how henry jimmy and tom tama tama tom what the hell happened to me tommy are from goodfellas oh okay why swaggy why are things okay over there wait are you do you need help put jimmy pot pie thank you oh i'm not muted shut up wait who hurt you what's wrong shut up is it weird to say pot pie pie i just like saying it like that yeah yeah it's fine man that's a little weird that's not the part i'm laughing it's just papaya you know yeah yeah papa papaya may we go to the park today my nightbot keep saying i'm dad nightbot what the happened to you who did this to my nightbot i don't know man i'm just gonna keep it i'm just gonna keep doing this until i no no blue not blue not blue give me another one yes perfect oh i can't jump in on that every mother oh jimmy wow we got to get rid of one card that's a great uh great devotee thank you bob you say you're kidding me bob are you you saved me bob i'm me right now my god damn i saved you mark i did that for you man thank you oh my god i'm not trying to be mean to you wait i'm trying to be nice to you okay i feel like you know this is one of those things wait where you're setting yourself up for failure because i have none of the blue i got one blue now who me oh i forgot about the rule oh yeah all right it's okay man just it's just uno you just gotta get it you're just gonna take a deep breath no fine no no i don't believe you no ah a dick that's okay i just wanted to see your cards it's a strategy that means a good dick oh that's the wrong word you two yellows have you made a blue you can suck my why would you want that wade i had 11 cards okay bob what is the sand i don't like this hand it's not good i was trying to get rid of it for a long time and i couldn't do anything about it not good not good yes you swaggy give me your hand oh wait okay in hindsight i realized i made a mistake why am i getting so many gifted subs i know we don't we don't talk about this now but why the am i getting so many gifted subs what because any time you talk about gifted subs everyone's like oh yeah it's your birthday mark you ordered it buddy but wade's the one that's starving about to lose his house why are people giving beats i'm about to lose my house with the throwing little plus twos at me there why do you no please god my god god why god it's not god it's swaggy why i swear to god swagging is just reskinned the barber i don't know what this does i mean it's like all bots in this game are programmed the same or something you know we have a random card that's right you just never realized that you know things could get worse than barbara you just didn't realize how good you had it oh megan you again never oh we again still you take my goddamn turn there we go weirdo i gave you another turn i don't know what you're moaning about oh sexy carrick here you wait go again oh got him good one can i have a turn can i have a turn can i no mark i'm trying to be chill okay i'm trying to include wade okay you know what i'm saying oh all right calm down it's okay can you can i can i play can i play the game i never remind you cool cool you got it too i got this dokie you got any greens mark no d no yeah you'd eat it oh god oh my god still no i don't know there we go you'll draw some greens man green green green you want green you want green no you don't get green yeah yeah try me i don't know swaggy is crazy i think hey but you don't give a man oh yes huh no no no swaggy be nice i could be good so i could be gentle what is that my cards what does that do why does that do that oh oh dear swaggy what the is that wait listen okay bob we're gonna play a little game wait wait wait wait i don't like this game okay well hold on here okay oh boy nice card all right cool i like this game swaggy has a winner oh boy oh boy why am i skipped again oh why am i skipped again awesome cards swagger this game mark what color do you think hey i don't remember is it yellow it is yellow why are people giving me subs give them to wade he can't afford like a bag of turnips he he's he's like desperate would i buy a bag of turnips for turnip soup wade's sound material is actually mounted on recycled cardboard that he got from the grocery store he he's actually streaming from an open field that just looks like he's in a room he's desperately in need he's using the green leaves in the background as a green screen he's so sad please from his dark cold hotel room help him he is broke as i have a four bar i don't like you very much he gave you a four and you just get this unbridled quiet monopoly-esque hate towards him what does that do again green um it man you got a lot of weird stuff in there whoo i got a lot of weird stuff in me now too all right i want turnips god damn it it's for people to be for the turnips please chad everyone's trying to give me a buy turn i don't even know what that turn up tastes like oh god why do you guys love blue so much what is with you in blue i don't love blue okay no it could be me bob it could have been my torn torn could have been my thorn are you what oh my god again i guess hey mark listen how about green how about yellow all right i'll take it i'll take it oh how about red i guess geez here bob do you know you want mine oh you know you want mine oh yeah um i guess the obvious oh yeah yeah yeah oh wait no okay all right oh yeah yeah you know you know you want me the one who you know yeah okay you know you want mine you played you think i'm played don't swaggy swaggy uh wait you gonna have a lot of cards if someone says here's some bits for the two decades you're about to leave behind does that mean i'm gonna die or does that mean oh you're so dead yeah definitely that was mark what the is this oh you're complaining oh wait really wait wait hang on you're complaining waiting yes you're oh boy all right that's better that's not good at all nothing about this is better it's better it's better all right well whatever that does you guys all right does that one all right all right how many turnips are you gonna buy after this wade uh i don't know how much a goddamn turnip cost but probably none why would i buy turnips yeah yeah you want mine can't i buy like spaghettios or chicken soup or something you won't why no turnips are like a cost-effective way you can make turnip soup you can like if you get what is the broth water the turnips water turnips in water obviously you stupid idiot i ah i mean listen man times are tough but they're not like turnip water tough like my mom my mom makes a great turnip soup it is delicious if it's just turnips and water how can it be any different than any other turnips have you ever eaten a turnip man it's no it's a it's a food it's food i have not been abundantly clear i've never had a turnip i guess i shouldn't be surprised you you your food expertise is so unbelievably unbelievably non-existent oh okay all right tell me the most diverse food you've eaten what's the strangest food you've ever eaten strangest yeah what's the strangest food uh does like eating raw ants and stuff in the wild count no no like an actual food that you could get at a restaurant oh probably like a squid or a gator or something nothing that crazy okay i guess that's all right oh well we're starting this one off with a bang bang bang what am i doing i just clicked things i don't know what i'm doing i just couldn't wait where someone offered to let me just stay with them when i inevitably lose my thumbs in chat so i stopped paying attention to anything i guess i'm losing my house everybody i at least have a place to stay take this swaggy wade needs turnips okay i don't know if you're not listening i still get the wrong bags of doritos in my p.o box please do not have to give me doritos as you can find yeah yeah yeah no we're going to start a petition doritos is going to make turnip flavor for wade for his needs oh damn oh hot damn i'll wait what color does swaggy have win what green i made it green for myself what what what what what one of it it's not great what's going on yes fix it fix it all right wait but mark has maybe green as long as it's not swaggy it's it's all right it's all good oh numbers only oh god okay well absolutely farmer's only cousins only are we going back down no no no no no no no no oh god oh god oh god oh there we go that's mark thanks man oh man thanks for doing that thank you oh another one what the just hey yeah all right hey guess what this hand still doesn't have blue it's okay wait if it makes you feel any better i don't have blue either does that make you feel any better no no bob no not like i'm sorry i just did it i had no choice it's not my fault there's nothing i could do about it okay it's beyond it's out of my it's beyond my reckoning and out of my control not your reckoning no that's it lies beyond my ken no oh it's me i'm really sorry bud uh well that was kind of a level someone just subbed the turnip soup so now the turnip soup is a sub thank you for that wait you're gonna have to make a video after this of you actually cooking and eating turnip soup you have to please do it i know how much you like turnip soup win we all wait hang on listen that's not what you want damn it we all know wade we all understand darn it ah jeez why do we play this game why is it green i hate oh no no why why again why what have i done to you what did i do it's not my fault it's clearly your fault i didn't do it thank you you saved me good sir i didn't do it look it was it was i couldn't touch him you know how it is we can't touch can i buy ice cream turnips ice cream what no someone said i could buy ice cream cake instead of turnips what does that mean no that one why would that even be a thing no you get birthday turnips we stick a candle in a turnip we light it on fire you blow it out you eat the tournament that's your birthday wait wait someone in chat my chat just said wait is to turn up as bob is to lobster what does that mean is there something i don't understand about my relationship with lobster sorry mark i don't know why are you sorry what oh uh mark i believe has blue so let's not let mark win yeah he's got blue it's a lie don't believe him it's a lie hmm sexy carrot sexy weird al oh this is actually weird l anyway i think he actually has yellow so i think turn up sounds horrible god damn it ice cream turnip you've never had a turnip it's it's it's actually good like i wouldn't bite into it raw but there's good silicon i couldn't not do anything couldn't do it green no sorry yellow yep no not oh mark's not oh i think we're good yeah i'm not at risk anymore i don't you know my my time close to the sun my wings melted no no god why what the i had two cards you're getting a lot better use out of your go xlr than i am dude you just gotta get some funny loaded on there and then push it right and it's beautiful it doesn't have to mean anything you just just clip whatever just no no no yay god damn it oh boy i hate you oh boy listen wait i'm gonna save your turn for you okay turn nipple crust turnip crust oh jesus christ that's the worst used i've ever in my life and people are so fast at just making a bunch of new accounts for whatever random we talk about it's also it's french it's turnip le crust i don't know why you're calling it turn nipple crust that's just weird all right well what the okay you you wade you you're listening to gifted subs you're thinking about turnips oh dude i was so ready to you guys i'm so prepared to sex you god what the oh my god no why why haven't you done this what what could you possibly have gained from this wait this didn't help anyone why did you do this it's not like that no no why have you done this funky bunch why are you doing this i like how the the rage and discussion comes at huge waves i think i think it's just because wade is is breaking the rules rules of the podcast and and addressing his subs which was the rules we're not allowed to do that we're not doing the podcast we're playing a goddamn game right that's all the podcast what is this is that podcast this is games no it's what the you want me to read all my turnip puns out loud no i don't want you to read them at all ignore them whipsonly.com thank you for the five dollars no you have to ignore them turnipcousins.com just the tips anything else you guys want from me keep going keep going draw some cards because me oh i'll be your hype guy i got you so bob how are you you're doing good i'm good you know i'm good i'm feeling good good good good man good man yeah oh yeah poor swaggy oh dear it's blue now why do you two have so many cards excuse me excuse me mr not paying attention to the game donation man swaggy why are you such a piece of all right wait what color do you want we can give you wait please stop your amazing commentary for two seconds to pick a color i had one of those too it's okay maggie doesn't give a about what color we want it to be we've got a system going on we got a good we got a good oh your life is so hard all your so many turnips out there yeah yeah yeah wait hey listen don't do that i realized my mistake that moment the markiplier done realized he up i don't know i don't even know what color he has is it red it's red anymore ah well there you go maybe it's this color god bob you're gonna put you're gonna yes yes yes my hand are you sure you don't want what well whatever no i like this end shut up it's it's good okay no it's fine it was it was a good call to not take this hand well this is becoming increasingly unwinnable don't worry guys just let me get to my turn just let me get to my turn as normal i'll fix it i'll fix it i fixed it okay oh my god how are these the two that i got left with my life it's all good it's all good it's better oh come on oh well all right that's oh oh no what the happened me this is so fun some of those weren't swears all right you're not getting me this time you're not getting me this time sir okay all right you okay i once was does it help you mark no oh i guess it doesn't matter anyway oh oh did you guys click on the game i clicked it okay so you guys you guys are so slow when it's swaggy but when i'm doing it you have bullet-like reflexes i see how it is guys both of you when it's not me just like oh god i knocked my monitor overall i can't figure out how to do this oh god what's going on here all right wait all right all right it's coming back to you wait it's fine it's fine oh oh my god that's not a good color oh thanks bud you're welcome bud i appreciate that i appreciate that no i don't does anyone know what color swagger i have no idea let's just draw and see what we get then what's harder the card okay i guess they get a 5. okay well that was short-lived you know what mark i this is actually something you want to happen all right all right let's see what uh this dude okay all right all right this to me and we do we okay let's do we let's we do let's do come what are you doing here what are you doing no don't do it no no no not like this no not like this no yellow no yellow bob nice oh i could have 69 it but it's the wrong color what does that even mean what does it mean you could have 69 it wasn't what do you think it means right i don't even know what we all know what that means no i don't know what that means what does that mean you dare you kick it you know okay i didn't know you didn't want me to win that badly swaggy swaggy is on my team shut up oh thanks dude i have some of those yeah keep it yellow that's what i want please keep it wave you know what card i have youall right how do i open the overlay in shift f2 okay there we go yeah alt f4 i hate you hey look all our pictures are there yeah yeah really into bob's middle fingers you just have to believe what the swaggy not barbara oh god i don't know whose swag he is and i don't care no swaggy can't be that bad swaggy could be that bad i don't i don't think you understand how why are you barbara why'd you do that i had a movie i literally i literally had nothing else i could do you had nothing i don't know if you wanted me i want a little bit of fairness i just want a little bit a little bit of fairness and why'd you do that mark why did you change because i was this is what i wanted in the first place wait dial it back we're playing noodle for like nine hours today okay you need to calm down yeah you gotta pace yourself if this is happening go that high for nine hours on the game all right so this game uh god damn it it was my turn oh uh whoever wins everyone else has to gift 50 subs to that person right that's how this works i don't i can't that's my birthday so i'm excited 150 bucks wouldn't it be 250 no it would be fun oh lord oh yes one gift from me yeah uh i will gift one of the numbers in that number i will gift that amount of subs oh boy okay wait here buddy this for you all right thanks man why did you have this many sevens yellow no oh wait no hang on wait no that doesn't have yellow anyone went jumping no balls man i appreciate the i see wait mark i had to play i don't care oh boy oh no yeah oh that's not so good it's definitely not yellow make it yellow to punish me yeah okay uh-huh oh daddy i can do this get in here what are you doing well come on i can't believe it actually was yellow red red yes red red red bread well now i'm not gonna do it what if he has yellow well i mean he's not gonna go i was gonna go to you but i'm not gonna give it what's your problem what's your problem man we just started wait yeah what is that oh it tells us what it is that does it says yay wait i nee i just need a promise from you that you're just gonna you're gonna hold it together and you're just gonna really like try it try to be the man that we all know you can be it's your birthday tomorrow you need to really yeah okay you really what about that oh come on oh funny oh what the oh swaggy oh me coming in hot with the barbara what's up where barbara's got her own alternate identity god damn it all right what are you going to do there almost immediately right back please i'm asking you as a friend wow well when you say it like that how can i not oh thank you thank you i appreciate that man wait a minute seriously just fully i yes like well tomorrow is my birthday and swaggy just me baby oh my god well okay here's a big you from me to you then friend challenge him challenge him he can't possibly be there no i know what he has no you don't know what he had what are you talking about just so that there's not two uno hands i'm gonna challenge i i knew we didn't have any yellows all right okay all right okay all right guys who are henry jimmy and tommy is that a thing is that a reference to something yeah you don't know them oh no wait hang on gta role play marcus henry bob is jimmy wade is tommy who what i don't know who these are god why who is that why am i what swaggy you i really tried to i did not put my dick in your ass i want to be very clear right was like lighting right into the dm's i didn't dig with yours no that's a lie i didn't do that you dick whipped his pee pee and then you put it in my boob i put it in your boob i just want to be clear what the hell you're talking about hang on wait you're swaggy eat my blue you could have said balls suck this bob eat my blue baskets yeah normally mark would have owed me 50 gifted subs there but dude i can't afford to do it do you want me to do you want so like let's both no it's both we're good we are all good we could low stakes this what if you just go on a sweet winning streak oh even one loss would make me go broke how henry jimmy and tom tama tama tom what the hell happened to me tommy are from goodfellas oh okay why swaggy why are things okay over there wait are you do you need help put jimmy pot pie thank you oh i'm not muted shut up wait who hurt you what's wrong shut up is it weird to say pot pie pie i just like saying it like that yeah yeah it's fine man that's a little weird that's not the part i'm laughing it's just papaya you know yeah yeah papa papaya may we go to the park today my nightbot keep saying i'm dad nightbot what the happened to you who did this to my nightbot i don't know man i'm just gonna keep it i'm just gonna keep doing this until i no no blue not blue not blue give me another one yes perfect oh i can't jump in on that every mother oh jimmy wow we got to get rid of one card that's a great uh great devotee thank you bob you say you're kidding me bob are you you saved me bob i'm me right now my god damn i saved you mark i did that for you man thank you oh my god i'm not trying to be mean to you wait i'm trying to be nice to you okay i feel like you know this is one of those things wait where you're setting yourself up for failure because i have none of the blue i got one blue now who me oh i forgot about the rule oh yeah all right it's okay man just it's just uno you just gotta get it you're just gonna take a deep breath no fine no no i don't believe you no ah a dick that's okay i just wanted to see your cards it's a strategy that means a good dick oh that's the wrong word you two yellows have you made a blue you can suck my why would you want that wade i had 11 cards okay bob what is the sand i don't like this hand it's not good i was trying to get rid of it for a long time and i couldn't do anything about it not good not good yes you swaggy give me your hand oh wait okay in hindsight i realized i made a mistake why am i getting so many gifted subs i know we don't we don't talk about this now but why the am i getting so many gifted subs what because any time you talk about gifted subs everyone's like oh yeah it's your birthday mark you ordered it buddy but wade's the one that's starving about to lose his house why are people giving beats i'm about to lose my house with the throwing little plus twos at me there why do you no please god my god god why god it's not god it's swaggy why i swear to god swagging is just reskinned the barber i don't know what this does i mean it's like all bots in this game are programmed the same or something you know we have a random card that's right you just never realized that you know things could get worse than barbara you just didn't realize how good you had it oh megan you again never oh we again still you take my goddamn turn there we go weirdo i gave you another turn i don't know what you're moaning about oh sexy carrick here you wait go again oh got him good one can i have a turn can i have a turn can i no mark i'm trying to be chill okay i'm trying to include wade okay you know what i'm saying oh all right calm down it's okay can you can i can i play can i play the game i never remind you cool cool you got it too i got this dokie you got any greens mark no d no yeah you'd eat it oh god oh my god still no i don't know there we go you'll draw some greens man green green green you want green you want green no you don't get green yeah yeah try me i don't know swaggy is crazy i think hey but you don't give a man oh yes huh no no no swaggy be nice i could be good so i could be gentle what is that my cards what does that do why does that do that oh oh dear swaggy what the is that wait listen okay bob we're gonna play a little game wait wait wait wait i don't like this game okay well hold on here okay oh boy nice card all right cool i like this game swaggy has a winner oh boy oh boy why am i skipped again oh why am i skipped again awesome cards swagger this game mark what color do you think hey i don't remember is it yellow it is yellow why are people giving me subs give them to wade he can't afford like a bag of turnips he he's he's like desperate would i buy a bag of turnips for turnip soup wade's sound material is actually mounted on recycled cardboard that he got from the grocery store he he's actually streaming from an open field that just looks like he's in a room he's desperately in need he's using the green leaves in the background as a green screen he's so sad please from his dark cold hotel room help him he is broke as i have a four bar i don't like you very much he gave you a four and you just get this unbridled quiet monopoly-esque hate towards him what does that do again green um it man you got a lot of weird stuff in there whoo i got a lot of weird stuff in me now too all right i want turnips god damn it it's for people to be for the turnips please chad everyone's trying to give me a buy turn i don't even know what that turn up tastes like oh god why do you guys love blue so much what is with you in blue i don't love blue okay no it could be me bob it could have been my torn torn could have been my thorn are you what oh my god again i guess hey mark listen how about green how about yellow all right i'll take it i'll take it oh how about red i guess geez here bob do you know you want mine oh you know you want mine oh yeah um i guess the obvious oh yeah yeah yeah oh wait no okay all right oh yeah yeah you know you know you want me the one who you know yeah okay you know you want mine you played you think i'm played don't swaggy swaggy uh wait you gonna have a lot of cards if someone says here's some bits for the two decades you're about to leave behind does that mean i'm gonna die or does that mean oh you're so dead yeah definitely that was mark what the is this oh you're complaining oh wait really wait wait hang on you're complaining waiting yes you're oh boy all right that's better that's not good at all nothing about this is better it's better it's better all right well whatever that does you guys all right does that one all right all right how many turnips are you gonna buy after this wade uh i don't know how much a goddamn turnip cost but probably none why would i buy turnips yeah yeah you want mine can't i buy like spaghettios or chicken soup or something you won't why no turnips are like a cost-effective way you can make turnip soup you can like if you get what is the broth water the turnips water turnips in water obviously you stupid idiot i ah i mean listen man times are tough but they're not like turnip water tough like my mom my mom makes a great turnip soup it is delicious if it's just turnips and water how can it be any different than any other turnips have you ever eaten a turnip man it's no it's a it's a food it's food i have not been abundantly clear i've never had a turnip i guess i shouldn't be surprised you you your food expertise is so unbelievably unbelievably non-existent oh okay all right tell me the most diverse food you've eaten what's the strangest food you've ever eaten strangest yeah what's the strangest food uh does like eating raw ants and stuff in the wild count no no like an actual food that you could get at a restaurant oh probably like a squid or a gator or something nothing that crazy okay i guess that's all right oh well we're starting this one off with a bang bang bang what am i doing i just clicked things i don't know what i'm doing i just couldn't wait where someone offered to let me just stay with them when i inevitably lose my thumbs in chat so i stopped paying attention to anything i guess i'm losing my house everybody i at least have a place to stay take this swaggy wade needs turnips okay i don't know if you're not listening i still get the wrong bags of doritos in my p.o box please do not have to give me doritos as you can find yeah yeah yeah no we're going to start a petition doritos is going to make turnip flavor for wade for his needs oh damn oh hot damn i'll wait what color does swaggy have win what green i made it green for myself what what what what what one of it it's not great what's going on yes fix it fix it all right wait but mark has maybe green as long as it's not swaggy it's it's all right it's all good oh numbers only oh god okay well absolutely farmer's only cousins only are we going back down no no no no no no no no oh god oh god oh god oh there we go that's mark thanks man oh man thanks for doing that thank you oh another one what the just hey yeah all right hey guess what this hand still doesn't have blue it's okay wait if it makes you feel any better i don't have blue either does that make you feel any better no no bob no not like i'm sorry i just did it i had no choice it's not my fault there's nothing i could do about it okay it's beyond it's out of my it's beyond my reckoning and out of my control not your reckoning no that's it lies beyond my ken no oh it's me i'm really sorry bud uh well that was kind of a level someone just subbed the turnip soup so now the turnip soup is a sub thank you for that wait you're gonna have to make a video after this of you actually cooking and eating turnip soup you have to please do it i know how much you like turnip soup win we all wait hang on listen that's not what you want damn it we all know wade we all understand darn it ah jeez why do we play this game why is it green i hate oh no no why why again why what have i done to you what did i do it's not my fault it's clearly your fault i didn't do it thank you you saved me good sir i didn't do it look it was it was i couldn't touch him you know how it is we can't touch can i buy ice cream turnips ice cream what no someone said i could buy ice cream cake instead of turnips what does that mean no that one why would that even be a thing no you get birthday turnips we stick a candle in a turnip we light it on fire you blow it out you eat the tournament that's your birthday wait wait someone in chat my chat just said wait is to turn up as bob is to lobster what does that mean is there something i don't understand about my relationship with lobster sorry mark i don't know why are you sorry what oh uh mark i believe has blue so let's not let mark win yeah he's got blue it's a lie don't believe him it's a lie hmm sexy carrot sexy weird al oh this is actually weird l anyway i think he actually has yellow so i think turn up sounds horrible god damn it ice cream turnip you've never had a turnip it's it's it's actually good like i wouldn't bite into it raw but there's good silicon i couldn't not do anything couldn't do it green no sorry yellow yep no not oh mark's not oh i think we're good yeah i'm not at risk anymore i don't you know my my time close to the sun my wings melted no no god why what the i had two cards you're getting a lot better use out of your go xlr than i am dude you just gotta get some funny loaded on there and then push it right and it's beautiful it doesn't have to mean anything you just just clip whatever just no no no yay god damn it oh boy i hate you oh boy listen wait i'm gonna save your turn for you okay turn nipple crust turnip crust oh jesus christ that's the worst used i've ever in my life and people are so fast at just making a bunch of new accounts for whatever random we talk about it's also it's french it's turnip le crust i don't know why you're calling it turn nipple crust that's just weird all right well what the okay you you wade you you're listening to gifted subs you're thinking about turnips oh dude i was so ready to you guys i'm so prepared to sex you god what the oh my god no why why haven't you done this what what could you possibly have gained from this wait this didn't help anyone why did you do this it's not like that no no why have you done this funky bunch why are you doing this i like how the the rage and discussion comes at huge waves i think i think it's just because wade is is breaking the rules rules of the podcast and and addressing his subs which was the rules we're not allowed to do that we're not doing the podcast we're playing a goddamn game right that's all the podcast what is this is that podcast this is games no it's what the you want me to read all my turnip puns out loud no i don't want you to read them at all ignore them whipsonly.com thank you for the five dollars no you have to ignore them turnipcousins.com just the tips anything else you guys want from me keep going keep going draw some cards because me oh i'll be your hype guy i got you so bob how are you you're doing good i'm good you know i'm good i'm feeling good good good good man good man yeah oh yeah poor swaggy oh dear it's blue now why do you two have so many cards excuse me excuse me mr not paying attention to the game donation man swaggy why are you such a piece of all right wait what color do you want we can give you wait please stop your amazing commentary for two seconds to pick a color i had one of those too it's okay maggie doesn't give a about what color we want it to be we've got a system going on we got a good we got a good oh your life is so hard all your so many turnips out there yeah yeah yeah wait hey listen don't do that i realized my mistake that moment the markiplier done realized he up i don't know i don't even know what color he has is it red it's red anymore ah well there you go maybe it's this color god bob you're gonna put you're gonna yes yes yes my hand are you sure you don't want what well whatever no i like this end shut up it's it's good okay no it's fine it was it was a good call to not take this hand well this is becoming increasingly unwinnable don't worry guys just let me get to my turn just let me get to my turn as normal i'll fix it i'll fix it i fixed it okay oh my god how are these the two that i got left with my life it's all good it's all good it's better oh come on oh well all right that's oh oh no what the happened me this is so fun some of those weren't swears all right you're not getting me this time you're not getting me this time sir okay all right you okay i once was does it help you mark no oh i guess it doesn't matter anyway oh oh did you guys click on the game i clicked it okay so you guys you guys are so slow when it's swaggy but when i'm doing it you have bullet-like reflexes i see how it is guys both of you when it's not me just like oh god i knocked my monitor overall i can't figure out how to do this oh god what's going on here all right wait all right all right it's coming back to you wait it's fine it's fine oh oh my god that's not a good color oh thanks bud you're welcome bud i appreciate that i appreciate that no i don't does anyone know what color swagger i have no idea let's just draw and see what we get then what's harder the card okay i guess they get a 5. okay well that was short-lived you know what mark i this is actually something you want to happen all right all right let's see what uh this dude okay all right all right this to me and we do we okay let's do we let's we do let's do come what are you doing here what are you doing no don't do it no no no not like this no not like this no yellow no yellow bob nice oh i could have 69 it but it's the wrong color what does that even mean what does it mean you could have 69 it wasn't what do you think it means right i don't even know what we all know what that means no i don't know what that means what does that mean you dare you kick it you know okay i didn't know you didn't want me to win that badly swaggy swaggy is on my team shut up oh thanks dude i have some of those yeah keep it yellow that's what i want please keep it wave you know what card i have youall right how do i open the overlay in shift f2 okay there we go yeah alt f4 i hate you hey look all our pictures are there yeah yeah really into bob's middle fingers you just have to believe what the swaggy not barbara oh god i don't know whose swag he is and i don't care no swaggy can't be that bad swaggy could be that bad i don't i don't think you understand how why are you barbara why'd you do that i had a movie i literally i literally had nothing else i could do you had nothing i don't know if you wanted me i want a little bit of fairness i just want a little bit a little bit of fairness and why'd you do that mark why did you change because i was this is what i wanted in the first place wait dial it back we're playing noodle for like nine hours today okay you need to calm down yeah you gotta pace yourself if this is happening go that high for nine hours on the game all right so this game uh god damn it it was my turn oh uh whoever wins everyone else has to gift 50 subs to that person right that's how this works i don't i can't that's my birthday so i'm excited 150 bucks wouldn't it be 250 no it would be fun oh lord oh yes one gift from me yeah uh i will gift one of the numbers in that number i will gift that amount of subs oh boy okay wait here buddy this for you all right thanks man why did you have this many sevens yellow no oh wait no hang on wait no that doesn't have yellow anyone went jumping no balls man i appreciate the i see wait mark i had to play i don't care oh boy oh no yeah oh that's not so good it's definitely not yellow make it yellow to punish me yeah okay uh-huh oh daddy i can do this get in here what are you doing well come on i can't believe it actually was yellow red red yes red red red bread well now i'm not gonna do it what if he has yellow well i mean he's not gonna go i was gonna go to you but i'm not gonna give it what's your problem what's your problem man we just started wait yeah what is that oh it tells us what it is that does it says yay wait i nee i just need a promise from you that you're just gonna you're gonna hold it together and you're just gonna really like try it try to be the man that we all know you can be it's your birthday tomorrow you need to really yeah okay you really what about that oh come on oh funny oh what the oh swaggy oh me coming in hot with the barbara what's up where barbara's got her own alternate identity god damn it all right what are you going to do there almost immediately right back please i'm asking you as a friend wow well when you say it like that how can i not oh thank you thank you i appreciate that man wait a minute seriously just fully i yes like well tomorrow is my birthday and swaggy just me baby oh my god well okay here's a big you from me to you then friend challenge him challenge him he can't possibly be there no i know what he has no you don't know what he had what are you talking about just so that there's not two uno hands i'm gonna challenge i i knew we didn't have any yellows all right okay all right okay all right guys who are henry jimmy and tommy is that a thing is that a reference to something yeah you don't know them oh no wait hang on gta role play marcus henry bob is jimmy wade is tommy who what i don't know who these are god why who is that why am i what swaggy you i really tried to i did not put my dick in your ass i want to be very clear right was like lighting right into the dm's i didn't dig with yours no that's a lie i didn't do that you dick whipped his pee pee and then you put it in my boob i put it in your boob i just want to be clear what the hell you're talking about hang on wait you're swaggy eat my blue you could have said balls suck this bob eat my blue baskets yeah normally mark would have owed me 50 gifted subs there but dude i can't afford to do it do you want me to do you want so like let's both no it's both we're good we are all good we could low stakes this what if you just go on a sweet winning streak oh even one loss would make me go broke how henry jimmy and tom tama tama tom what the hell happened to me tommy are from goodfellas oh okay why swaggy why are things okay over there wait are you do you need help put jimmy pot pie thank you oh i'm not muted shut up wait who hurt you what's wrong shut up is it weird to say pot pie pie i just like saying it like that yeah yeah it's fine man that's a little weird that's not the part i'm laughing it's just papaya you know yeah yeah papa papaya may we go to the park today my nightbot keep saying i'm dad nightbot what the happened to you who did this to my nightbot i don't know man i'm just gonna keep it i'm just gonna keep doing this until i no no blue not blue not blue give me another one yes perfect oh i can't jump in on that every mother oh jimmy wow we got to get rid of one card that's a great uh great devotee thank you bob you say you're kidding me bob are you you saved me bob i'm me right now my god damn i saved you mark i did that for you man thank you oh my god i'm not trying to be mean to you wait i'm trying to be nice to you okay i feel like you know this is one of those things wait where you're setting yourself up for failure because i have none of the blue i got one blue now who me oh i forgot about the rule oh yeah all right it's okay man just it's just uno you just gotta get it you're just gonna take a deep breath no fine no no i don't believe you no ah a dick that's okay i just wanted to see your cards it's a strategy that means a good dick oh that's the wrong word you two yellows have you made a blue you can suck my why would you want that wade i had 11 cards okay bob what is the sand i don't like this hand it's not good i was trying to get rid of it for a long time and i couldn't do anything about it not good not good yes you swaggy give me your hand oh wait okay in hindsight i realized i made a mistake why am i getting so many gifted subs i know we don't we don't talk about this now but why the am i getting so many gifted subs what because any time you talk about gifted subs everyone's like oh yeah it's your birthday mark you ordered it buddy but wade's the one that's starving about to lose his house why are people giving beats i'm about to lose my house with the throwing little plus twos at me there why do you no please god my god god why god it's not god it's swaggy why i swear to god swagging is just reskinned the barber i don't know what this does i mean it's like all bots in this game are programmed the same or something you know we have a random card that's right you just never realized that you know things could get worse than barbara you just didn't realize how good you had it oh megan you again never oh we again still you take my goddamn turn there we go weirdo i gave you another turn i don't know what you're moaning about oh sexy carrick here you wait go again oh got him good one can i have a turn can i have a turn can i no mark i'm trying to be chill okay i'm trying to include wade okay you know what i'm saying oh all right calm down it's okay can you can i can i play can i play the game i never remind you cool cool you got it too i got this dokie you got any greens mark no d no yeah you'd eat it oh god oh my god still no i don't know there we go you'll draw some greens man green green green you want green you want green no you don't get green yeah yeah try me i don't know swaggy is crazy i think hey but you don't give a man oh yes huh no no no swaggy be nice i could be good so i could be gentle what is that my cards what does that do why does that do that oh oh dear swaggy what the is that wait listen okay bob we're gonna play a little game wait wait wait wait i don't like this game okay well hold on here okay oh boy nice card all right cool i like this game swaggy has a winner oh boy oh boy why am i skipped again oh why am i skipped again awesome cards swagger this game mark what color do you think hey i don't remember is it yellow it is yellow why are people giving me subs give them to wade he can't afford like a bag of turnips he he's he's like desperate would i buy a bag of turnips for turnip soup wade's sound material is actually mounted on recycled cardboard that he got from the grocery store he he's actually streaming from an open field that just looks like he's in a room he's desperately in need he's using the green leaves in the background as a green screen he's so sad please from his dark cold hotel room help him he is broke as i have a four bar i don't like you very much he gave you a four and you just get this unbridled quiet monopoly-esque hate towards him what does that do again green um it man you got a lot of weird stuff in there whoo i got a lot of weird stuff in me now too all right i want turnips god damn it it's for people to be for the turnips please chad everyone's trying to give me a buy turn i don't even know what that turn up tastes like oh god why do you guys love blue so much what is with you in blue i don't love blue okay no it could be me bob it could have been my torn torn could have been my thorn are you what oh my god again i guess hey mark listen how about green how about yellow all right i'll take it i'll take it oh how about red i guess geez here bob do you know you want mine oh you know you want mine oh yeah um i guess the obvious oh yeah yeah yeah oh wait no okay all right oh yeah yeah you know you know you want me the one who you know yeah okay you know you want mine you played you think i'm played don't swaggy swaggy uh wait you gonna have a lot of cards if someone says here's some bits for the two decades you're about to leave behind does that mean i'm gonna die or does that mean oh you're so dead yeah definitely that was mark what the is this oh you're complaining oh wait really wait wait hang on you're complaining waiting yes you're oh boy all right that's better that's not good at all nothing about this is better it's better it's better all right well whatever that does you guys all right does that one all right all right how many turnips are you gonna buy after this wade uh i don't know how much a goddamn turnip cost but probably none why would i buy turnips yeah yeah you want mine can't i buy like spaghettios or chicken soup or something you won't why no turnips are like a cost-effective way you can make turnip soup you can like if you get what is the broth water the turnips water turnips in water obviously you stupid idiot i ah i mean listen man times are tough but they're not like turnip water tough like my mom my mom makes a great turnip soup it is delicious if it's just turnips and water how can it be any different than any other turnips have you ever eaten a turnip man it's no it's a it's a food it's food i have not been abundantly clear i've never had a turnip i guess i shouldn't be surprised you you your food expertise is so unbelievably unbelievably non-existent oh okay all right tell me the most diverse food you've eaten what's the strangest food you've ever eaten strangest yeah what's the strangest food uh does like eating raw ants and stuff in the wild count no no like an actual food that you could get at a restaurant oh probably like a squid or a gator or something nothing that crazy okay i guess that's all right oh well we're starting this one off with a bang bang bang what am i doing i just clicked things i don't know what i'm doing i just couldn't wait where someone offered to let me just stay with them when i inevitably lose my thumbs in chat so i stopped paying attention to anything i guess i'm losing my house everybody i at least have a place to stay take this swaggy wade needs turnips okay i don't know if you're not listening i still get the wrong bags of doritos in my p.o box please do not have to give me doritos as you can find yeah yeah yeah no we're going to start a petition doritos is going to make turnip flavor for wade for his needs oh damn oh hot damn i'll wait what color does swaggy have win what green i made it green for myself what what what what what one of it it's not great what's going on yes fix it fix it all right wait but mark has maybe green as long as it's not swaggy it's it's all right it's all good oh numbers only oh god okay well absolutely farmer's only cousins only are we going back down no no no no no no no no oh god oh god oh god oh there we go that's mark thanks man oh man thanks for doing that thank you oh another one what the just hey yeah all right hey guess what this hand still doesn't have blue it's okay wait if it makes you feel any better i don't have blue either does that make you feel any better no no bob no not like i'm sorry i just did it i had no choice it's not my fault there's nothing i could do about it okay it's beyond it's out of my it's beyond my reckoning and out of my control not your reckoning no that's it lies beyond my ken no oh it's me i'm really sorry bud uh well that was kind of a level someone just subbed the turnip soup so now the turnip soup is a sub thank you for that wait you're gonna have to make a video after this of you actually cooking and eating turnip soup you have to please do it i know how much you like turnip soup win we all wait hang on listen that's not what you want damn it we all know wade we all understand darn it ah jeez why do we play this game why is it green i hate oh no no why why again why what have i done to you what did i do it's not my fault it's clearly your fault i didn't do it thank you you saved me good sir i didn't do it look it was it was i couldn't touch him you know how it is we can't touch can i buy ice cream turnips ice cream what no someone said i could buy ice cream cake instead of turnips what does that mean no that one why would that even be a thing no you get birthday turnips we stick a candle in a turnip we light it on fire you blow it out you eat the tournament that's your birthday wait wait someone in chat my chat just said wait is to turn up as bob is to lobster what does that mean is there something i don't understand about my relationship with lobster sorry mark i don't know why are you sorry what oh uh mark i believe has blue so let's not let mark win yeah he's got blue it's a lie don't believe him it's a lie hmm sexy carrot sexy weird al oh this is actually weird l anyway i think he actually has yellow so i think turn up sounds horrible god damn it ice cream turnip you've never had a turnip it's it's it's actually good like i wouldn't bite into it raw but there's good silicon i couldn't not do anything couldn't do it green no sorry yellow yep no not oh mark's not oh i think we're good yeah i'm not at risk anymore i don't you know my my time close to the sun my wings melted no no god why what the i had two cards you're getting a lot better use out of your go xlr than i am dude you just gotta get some funny loaded on there and then push it right and it's beautiful it doesn't have to mean anything you just just clip whatever just no no no yay god damn it oh boy i hate you oh boy listen wait i'm gonna save your turn for you okay turn nipple crust turnip crust oh jesus christ that's the worst used i've ever in my life and people are so fast at just making a bunch of new accounts for whatever random we talk about it's also it's french it's turnip le crust i don't know why you're calling it turn nipple crust that's just weird all right well what the okay you you wade you you're listening to gifted subs you're thinking about turnips oh dude i was so ready to you guys i'm so prepared to sex you god what the oh my god no why why haven't you done this what what could you possibly have gained from this wait this didn't help anyone why did you do this it's not like that no no why have you done this funky bunch why are you doing this i like how the the rage and discussion comes at huge waves i think i think it's just because wade is is breaking the rules rules of the podcast and and addressing his subs which was the rules we're not allowed to do that we're not doing the podcast we're playing a goddamn game right that's all the podcast what is this is that podcast this is games no it's what the you want me to read all my turnip puns out loud no i don't want you to read them at all ignore them whipsonly.com thank you for the five dollars no you have to ignore them turnipcousins.com just the tips anything else you guys want from me keep going keep going draw some cards because me oh i'll be your hype guy i got you so bob how are you you're doing good i'm good you know i'm good i'm feeling good good good good man good man yeah oh yeah poor swaggy oh dear it's blue now why do you two have so many cards excuse me excuse me mr not paying attention to the game donation man swaggy why are you such a piece of all right wait what color do you want we can give you wait please stop your amazing commentary for two seconds to pick a color i had one of those too it's okay maggie doesn't give a about what color we want it to be we've got a system going on we got a good we got a good oh your life is so hard all your so many turnips out there yeah yeah yeah wait hey listen don't do that i realized my mistake that moment the markiplier done realized he up i don't know i don't even know what color he has is it red it's red anymore ah well there you go maybe it's this color god bob you're gonna put you're gonna yes yes yes my hand are you sure you don't want what well whatever no i like this end shut up it's it's good okay no it's fine it was it was a good call to not take this hand well this is becoming increasingly unwinnable don't worry guys just let me get to my turn just let me get to my turn as normal i'll fix it i'll fix it i fixed it okay oh my god how are these the two that i got left with my life it's all good it's all good it's better oh come on oh well all right that's oh oh no what the happened me this is so fun some of those weren't swears all right you're not getting me this time you're not getting me this time sir okay all right you okay i once was does it help you mark no oh i guess it doesn't matter anyway oh oh did you guys click on the game i clicked it okay so you guys you guys are so slow when it's swaggy but when i'm doing it you have bullet-like reflexes i see how it is guys both of you when it's not me just like oh god i knocked my monitor overall i can't figure out how to do this oh god what's going on here all right wait all right all right it's coming back to you wait it's fine it's fine oh oh my god that's not a good color oh thanks bud you're welcome bud i appreciate that i appreciate that no i don't does anyone know what color swagger i have no idea let's just draw and see what we get then what's harder the card okay i guess they get a 5. okay well that was short-lived you know what mark i this is actually something you want to happen all right all right let's see what uh this dude okay all right all right this to me and we do we okay let's do we let's we do let's do come what are you doing here what are you doing no don't do it no no no not like this no not like this no yellow no yellow bob nice oh i could have 69 it but it's the wrong color what does that even mean what does it mean you could have 69 it wasn't what do you think it means right i don't even know what we all know what that means no i don't know what that means what does that mean you dare you kick it you know okay i didn't know you didn't want me to win that badly swaggy swaggy is on my team shut up oh thanks dude i have some of those yeah keep it yellow that's what i want please keep it wave you know what card i have you\n"