RYAN DONAVON VS DEENO BENJAMIN SVW UNLOCKED MATCH #4 -- LGH

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Apology and Explanation

The following statement was made with great reluctance, as we do not wish to offend anyone.

You see, leading up to this show, we said some disrespectful things about the city of Cornwall. But what's equally concerning is that we also made light of Ryan Donovan, who, in retrospect, hurt people's feelings and that's just wrong.

So, from the bottom of our hearts, we'd like to take this opportunity to apologize... to absolutely nobody.

We're not sure where to begin, but we'll start by saying that we didn't believe you at first. However, after strolling into town this morning, we decided to stop by a strip club at 9:00 AM and see what all the fuss was about.

Let's just say it was an eye-opening experience. We've never seen such a high concentration of sweat hugs in one place before! And, oh boy, the grease on the floor was quite... impressive. It was almost as if we were slipping and sliding around like we were on a greased-up hockey rink.

Now, we didn't believe you when you said that strip clubs have hand sanitizer in their bathrooms using old ketchup bottles. But, upon closer inspection, it's true! We're not sure what the logic behind this is, but we suppose it's better than nothing.

As we navigated through the club, we couldn't help but notice the amount of... uncleanliness that surrounded us. There were hair products everywhere, and don't even get us started on the state of the floors. It was like a war zone in there!

In retrospect, we should have listened to you and taken your advice more seriously. But, alas, we didn't.

Before we wrap this up, let's take a moment to acknowledge the return of Baby Dino, who has graciously raised his hand and reminded us that it's time to move forward.

And so, with that said, we'd like to bid you adieu... for now. We'll make sure to keep our hands clean from now on, even if it means using some old ketchup bottles as makeshift sanitizers.

Here's to new beginnings!