**A Heartbreaking yet Fascinating Experience: My Thoughts on Chain of Gold by Cassandra Clare**

As I sit down to write about my experience with Chain of Gold, the first book in The Last Hours series by Cassandra Clare, I am still reeling from the emotional turmoil it left me in. This book has made me feel a wide range of emotions - from anger and suspicion to love and confusion. I even hate certain characters, like Grace, who has done something that has made me distrust her completely.

I have to admit, when I first started reading Chain of Gold, I had some reservations about Alistair. He was one of those characters that initially seemed a bit off to me, but as the book progressed, he grew on me so much that I now love him. I'm excited to learn more about him and his role in the story. On the other hand, Grace remains one of my least favorite characters, and I have no trust for her whatsoever. I have a feeling that she's going to be redeemed somehow, but until then, I'm still confused about what her true feelings are towards James.

I'm also suspicious of Grace's intentions and motivations, which makes it difficult for me to trust her. However, one thing is certain - I don't like her, and I don't think she deserves forgiveness for what she's done in this book. Despite my reservations, I must admit that Chain of Gold has left a lasting impression on me, and I'm still trying to process all the emotions it evoked.

One thing that struck me about Chain of Gold is its series finale energy. It felt like this was a book that could have been released as part of a trilogy, rather than being the first in the series. The author's writing has a way of making you feel everything - pain, joy, anger, and sadness. It's clear that Cassandra Clare is a masterful storyteller who knows how to tug at your heartstrings.

As I reflect on my experience with Chain of Gold, I have to say that it's one of my favorite Cassandra Clare books. In fact, it's up there with Clockwork Princess and Clockwork Prince in terms of emotional impact. The only thing that keeps me from giving it a 5-star rating is the knowledge that this is just the first book in a series, which means that I'll have to suffer through more heartbreak in the future.

Despite my reservations, I'm excited to continue reading the series and seeing how things will unfold. However, I must admit that I need some time to recover from the emotional whiplash caused by Chain of Gold. It's been a tough read, but it's also one that I'll treasure for a long time.

**Rating: 5/5 Stars**

As much as I hate to admit it, Chain of Gold has left me feeling a mix of emotions - sadness, anger, love, and confusion. While it's not my favorite Cassandra Clare book (that distinction belongs to another series), it's definitely one that will stay with me for a long time. If you're looking for a story that will make you feel everything, then Chain of Gold is the book for you.

**The Future of The Last Hours Series**

As I look ahead to the future of The Last Hours series, I have to wonder how much more heartbreak I'll be able to take. Will we see more relationships torn apart? Will our favorite characters face new challenges and obstacles? One thing's for sure - Cassandra Clare has a way of making you feel invested in her stories, and I'm excited to see where the next installment will take us.

In fact, I have a feeling that once this series concludes, it could surpass even my beloved Infernal Devices trilogy. That might be a stretch, but I've seen how much Cassandra Clare can do with her writing, and I have no doubt that she'll deliver an epic conclusion to The Last Hours series.

**Conclusion**

Chain of Gold is a book that will leave you feeling something - whether it's love, anger, or sadness. It's a story that will tug at your heartstrings and make you feel all the emotions. While it may not be my favorite Cassandra Clare book, it's definitely one that I'll remember for a long time. If you're looking for a story that will make you feel something, then Chain of Gold is the book for you.

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"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enhello everyone and welcome welcome to my journey with chain of gold if you're new here hi hello my name is Hannah I love reading books and this video is a reading vlog slash review for chain of gold by Cassandra Clare aka my most anticipated book of the century but chain of gold I'm gonna read her we're gonna talk about her and I'm going to profusely apologize in advance for the length of this video I know how incredibly long it is I know it's ridiculous but I had a lot of thoughts a lot of emotions and it just felt wrong to cut a lot of it out plus you guys always tell me that you want me to make really long videos and the raw footage for this was 4 hours and 30 minutes long and people still told me to keep the entire thing so you're getting an hour-long video I hope that's enough for you I hope it's not too much I'm sorry if it is I promise all my videos won't be this long I'm filming this after having already read the book so you're getting post chain of gold Hanna who is a very different person than pretty chain of gold Hanna chain of gold is the sequel series to the Infernal Devices which is the prequel to the original Mortal Instruments series I know how complicated and confusing that sounds so if you want to know the order in which to read these books I'm gonna leave you a link in the description box below that gives you at the publication order of all the books which is the way that I recommend that you read them if you're interested in reading them and I know a lot of people are gonna ask if you have to read all the books before you read this the answer is technically no but my answer is yes but at the very least you've got to read the Infernal Devices before you read this book because it's going to spoil everything from that series for you so unless you have no interest in reading any of these other Shadowhunter books then you can definitely read chain of gold first but if you do plan to read any of those books don't read this book first especially don't read this before the Infernal Devices read those through first then read this and you'll be golden but as most of you know I've loved this series for so long it's held such a special place in my heart it's been so important to me I grew up reading these and to have the continuation of like my favorite trilogy ever finally in my hands is incredibly exciting and I'm just so grateful but it's finally out the day that I received this advance copy in the mail I was unbelievably excited and I filmed a quick clip of myself right when I got it I just checked the mail and I got a package that I literally feel like I've been waiting for since high school since I first found out this book was even gonna come out I just can't believe I'm literally holding this in my hands right now I don't think I've ever been this excited to receive a book in my life I have it I have it right here I'm literally so excited I've truly been waiting for this book since I was in like my sophomore year of high school and Here I am 23 and the book is finally here and it's in my hands and oh my god it's so beautiful I'm so excited to read it our main character Cordelia Carstairs is I think half Persian I don't know if she's fully Persian or half Persian I can't remember but she's Persian I'm Persian the fact that I'm finally reading a book where a character one of the main characters the main character is actually Persian and it's part of my favorite series like one of my favorite series franchise whatever like of all time and I've been reading this ever since I was a kid like I'm finally getting to see that part of myself represented in something and especially something that means this much to me like I'm just I'm literally gonna cry oh okay thank you so much just I'm in teen for sending this to me this is not sponsored they just sent it to me and I'm very very grateful so yeah I I can't wait so yeah obviously extremely excited to read this and also very excited to film a reading vlog just documenting my entire experience of all of the emotions that I went through reading chain of gold I also do want to mention that this reading vlog and review is going to be completely spoiler filled so if you have not read chain of gold if you haven't read the Infernal Devices or honestly any of the other Shadowhunter books but especially this one and the Infernal Devices I'm going to be spoiling those very heavily in this video so you definitely don't want to stick around if you haven't read those and you don't want to know what happens but if you have no interest in reading them or you just don't care about being spoiled and feel free to go ahead and watch me just absolutely lose my mind for an hour straight because I don't have any way to describe what this book did to me you just you got to watch it for yourself so I hope you all enjoy my descent into madness and without any further ado let's get into it it's so fun time alright hello so quick update I'm like about 20 ish pages into the book so far so like still not a lot of progress so far I'm really just like learning the characters names all we really know is that James Herondale has a connection to the shadow world they thought that maybe since will is a shadow hunter and Tessa is a warlock their kids would have some sort of like strange abilities or something or may not be able to wear runes but they can wear runes they're perfectly fine like they have that Nephilim blood but James has a connection to the shadow world so he can be like pulled into the shadow world which is fascinating so that's that's interesting that's definitely gonna present a lot of problems for sure haven't met Cordelia yet we just had like that early scene with Lucy where she saw like that random boy in the woods honestly I've got to go back and like rewatch my queen of air and our kiss review because I remember so little about what happened at the end of that series and I feel like I'm just gonna be like jumping to conclusions in here and then halfway through remember that that was something that was already explained it's gonna be interesting so please bear with me I'll probably be theorizing a lot of things that have already been answered but I I don't remember a lot okay it's a very long series there's so much to it I'll update you guys as I continue to read more and let you know once I get to another exciting part in the book once we learn some more new things or if I have any other new theories alright everyone hello I have changed into comfy clothes that are warm put my hair up and I'm ready to keep reading I've gotten to a point where I'm like who is who because this family tree is the most confusing thing on earth everyone is related to everyone in some way because they're Shadowhunters I can't keep track of everyone so I broke out my trusty family tree that is inside the dust jacket of clockwork princess it's not trusty don't trust it I trust nothing anymore so I always go back to this whenever I read this series because yeah I never remember how everyone is related but I remembered that since I had this this tells me who gets married to who from this series to cuz this goes all the way to Jace for the Herondale line so looking at this we know who marries who like if the point I've gotten in the book Cordelia has like just joined up with the Herondale family they've just her family's just come to the London Institute her and Alastair and according to this family tree she does end up marrying James Herondale and at this point of the book she's like very much in love with this boy like she has a huge crush on him and I hope it ends up being a good happy thing because they do get married and they do have kids they have Owen Herondale so yeah so this is like kind of spoilery for this series but also like I've known this since whenever this book came out in like 2013 I don't even know a long time ago so we've known for a long time that these characters are gonna end up with certain people but I'm excited to see how we get there I don't know I just feel like things aren't gonna turn out as expected like the relationships aren't gonna be as clean-cut as we expect them to be I'm already hoping for James and Cordelia to be happy because so far she's very much in love with him and I've only known her for like ten pages maybe but I only want good things for her I will update you as I find out some more about this complicated family tree and as I find out some more interesting things as the book goes on so I'll see you soon promise I'm not gonna update on every single page but we just had a will Tessa and Jem moment I'm not okay I did not expect the first years to come on page 40 of this like 500 page book but yeah they're here this heinous one will finds out his parents died of influenza and he's really sad and he's sitting on the floor against Tess's legs and in Jem comes in and just like pulls him into his chest and those times crying I just can't I so in love with the three of them and their relationship these characters are like honestly they feel like my friends from my childhood that's how much I love wheel Jem and Tessa and I I am NOT gonna be okay for the rest of this but this isn't gonna destroy me this is the first time we've like actually had will like in a scene and he's still not even like older will this is still a flashback but oh oh I hate it I hate it I just all right so I'm taking a quick break just to update and stuff don't mind my headphones and listening to music while I'm reading but basically things that we have figured out cordelia Carstairs is in love with James and just like has been for as long as she's known him basically James has feelings for someone that we don't know that I just found out about but that we didn't know and Matthew he's parabatai doesn't approve of her i'm thinks that like there's something suspicious going on which it's so far I trust that boy so we know he doesn't approve and then we get to this ball and James asks Cordelia to dance and she's like oh my god I'm dancing with him I'm so happy and he's holding my hand like all this stuff is going through her head and he just like books it to the entrance of the ballroom door because Tatiana Blackthorne walks through the door with grace Blackthorne and she's the girl that he's been in love with so Cordelia is like a little bit heartbroken I'm a lot heartbroken I don't know I'm just like super suspicious of this but he's like in love in love with this girl I don't know I don't know I'm still here rooting for James and Cordelia to end up together which like obviously he's going to happen in some capacity because they do get married but I don't know I don't know I'm like feeling a lot of emotions there was also this whole scene where Cordelia's mother was like dressing her for this ball her brother's like why do girls constantly look at themselves because she's like looking in the mirror and like checking herself and like checking to make sure her outfit and everything is fine and she says like in her head not actually to him out loud but she says because mother gets to choose how I dress and you get to decide how you dress or something along those lines and like that just really resonated with me in a lot of ways because I think that is very true or something that a lot of girls experience when they're young like you don't get a lot of say over how you look a lot of the time people just decide what you're gonna look like and how you're gonna dress and her mom really wants her to like look really beautiful and wear like the most expensive things and like designer clothing and all this stuff despite the fact that even if she likes dressing up and stuff she doesn't get to choose how she does it and she feels uncomfortable about it Cordelia Carstairs is honestly already I'm like not even a hundred pages into this book yet and she is already one of my favorite Cassandra Clare characters in existence we have like miss Payne will hairtail and Cordelia like those are my top three at the moment so yeah um I just wanted to quickly update you guys on those thoughts I would really had to get up to charge my camera battery because it died in the middle of me filming but hold on we're sitting we're sitting on the ground for a second okay time to take my hair down and everything I'm so frustrated James boy hello he's talking to grace as he's dancing with her and he straight-up goes she was light and slim not nearly as soft and warm as Daisy like pause in his thought M - Daisy he'd been dancing with Daisy just a few minutes ago he couldn't remember excusing himself couldn't remember leaving her he looked away from grace for the first time and searched the floor for Cordelia he found her in moments she was easy to spot no one else had hair lack color a deep dark red she was dancing with Matthew he saw to his surprise Matthews arms were around her she was smiling relief went through him so we hadn't done her any harm that was good he liked Cordelia they were family friends boy stop he had done no harm to her this girl is hurt you hurt her feelings hello oh my god I get it he's infatuated with this girl that he's in love with he was waiting for her to show up he dropped everything for her to go and see her in that moment but boy to just be like oh he didn't harm her yes you did you are in her feelings ah I haven't had this many emotions about like a romance in a book for a while because I haven't been reading anything that's been like romance heavy and there's just something about a good Cassandra Clare romance that gets me like really worked up and really into these relationships and I am mad at James at the moment I mean like it wasn't that bad like he didn't actually like hurt hurt her but like this boy better figure out his feelings I'm not about to sit here and have him string her along and just like continuously say yeah we're just like family friends when you say things like not nearly as soft or warm as Daisy he even has his own nickname for her that only he uses you can't expect me not to ship them I'm rider die anyway gonna go back to reading some more of this probably hang out in my room now for a little while and read here instead I haven't made that much progress at all but it feels like so much has happened and it also if you like nothing has happened and I still have so much left I don't even know how long this book is 581 pages I'm not gonna finish this today but I'm gonna try and get through as much of it as I can okay so that boy that Lucy Herondale saw at the beginning of the book the very first chapter was the ghost of Jesse Blackthorne who's supposed to be dead but he's a ghost but also kind of not a ghost and no one can see him except for his family and Lucy for some reason which both of them don't understand why and he says he's not exactly a normal ghost so he's in between this world in the next and I'm confused I am so confused because she marries Jesse blackthorn so how does she marry a ghost do they resurrect him somehow or does she become a cup I have so many questions okay quick thing just saying before we even move further along I don't trust Tatiana or grace Blackthorne and it's not because James is in love with her or whatever there is just something super suspicious about Tatiana and grace and I have a feeling that both of them were mentioned in the bane Chronicles but it's been so long since I've read the bane Chronicles that I like don't remember but I feel like I remember something about them in like one of the novellas that I read but I haven't read all the novellas so like don't mind me if I don't have some of this information cuz I don't really read the novellas very much she seems very suspicious Tatiana seems very suspicious I don't trust either of them and I feel like a bunch of stuffs gonna come up with that so I'm just calling it right now they're both suspicious they could end up being completely fine but I don't trust either of them at all and I feel like I remember something about her with Magnus both Tatiana and grace Blackthorne I remember something about them with Magnus and Magnus didn't trust them and if Magnus doesn't trust someone I don't trust someone cuz I trust Magnus with my whole heart and soul he knows everything that's up all the time and he's my favorite character in all of this like this entire universe so if Magnus doesn't trust someone neither do I will intercept being emo about Jem why am I even reading this book but really any time will entice a talk and Jem is mentioned any any of those moments in this book tears I just I can't hold so more okay many things to update about I haven't even made that much progress in the book but I got to the chapter where we have James and Cordelia's back story about how she helped him through his fever when he was sick when he was young no she wouldn't like read to him and stuff that murdered me that that was great I am ride-or-die for James and Cordelia absolutely a hundred percent into this ship I am here for it I have not loved a Cassandra Clare ship this way since will and Tessa like for me it's literally will and Tessa and Alec and Magnus they're like up there there's nobody else who even like reaches that level except for James and Cordelia now and we're like I'm like a hundred pages into book one and I'm already just like ready to just give my heart and soul to them I love it I am here for it I am dying it's so good I have so many feelings about these characters I love everyone so far I'm just loving it I'm loving it so much like this is exactly what I was wanting and expecting obviously like plot wise I have no expectations because I don't know what's gonna happen in terms of the way I was expecting this to make me feel this is exactly what I wanted and needed and I'm so happy so yeah I'm gonna go back to being emotional about James and Cordelia and see where else that this story goes I'm really intrigued to find out about more of the characters I'll update some more once I've read a bit more alright we have reached peak me not trusting grace so we have some more information she was adopted so her parents died when she was 9 years old when they were in interest James would go and like visit her at her house get like me in secret cuz her mom wouldn't let her see anyone or go out really and she's basically trying to convince him to steal this or steal back I guess this bracelet that's supposedly belong to her parents that talk to you on a black Thor and her adoptive mother keeps locked away in some box and she won't let her have this bracelet that supposedly belonged to her biological mother and now she's asking James to find a way to steal the bracelet back for her he's like kind of infatuated with this girl so of course he's like y'all do it but like that's sketchy what is this bracelet we don't know who her parents are we don't know what this bracelet is if Tatiana Blackthorne is locking it away in some box then it probably has some kind of a power that this girl probably shouldn't have access to not that I trust Tatiana Blackthorne either but like all of this is super sketchy I just I need to know I need to know who she is I need to know what her deal is I have so many questions so far I feel like my mind has just been all over the place and I'm like what if this person is this or that person's related to this person or this person's doing that but like I need to like chill and just like let the story unfold but yeah I'm super super excited so I'll update soon okay so many things to update on it's been a couple of hours first things first if you notice that my nails are different it's cuz I painted them in between the time that I last updated you and now so that's why they're not chipped anymore I did take a little bit of a break from reading and stuff but I'm currently on page 245 I think the last time I updated you was when I was reading about James's past with grace and there was like that conversation about the bracelet and I was like that bracelet seems suspicious and he did end up getting the bracelet but he's the one who's wearing the bracelet and I feel like she has some kind of control over him in some weird way or maybe it's Tatiana who has control over him in some kind of weird way I don't know who's like the mastermind behind this but grace and Tatiana I've been saying from the beginning are super suspicious and definitely up to some stuff and I feel like that bracelet is definitely some factor in here because he's been wearing it all of these years and he's been dealing with all this weird shadow world stuff so maybe that's like influencing some of his like shadow world abilities but basically plot wise what's happened so far is that Lucy and Cordelia went to the black Lorren Manor because Lucy wanted to talk to James about the demons that have been like appearing during the day she still hasn't told anyone about James's existence but she convinced Cordelia to come with her Cordelia goes into the green house that gets attacked by a demon meanwhile James is trying to figure out how these demons are coming out during the daytime so he's like I'm gonna try and intentionally go into the shadow world or turn myself into a shadow I'm still like a little iffy on what it is exactly that he's doing but he can kind of like turn himself into a shadow and enter the shadow world is what I'm understanding so he does it like intentionally he ends up being guided to the blackboard Manor because he sees some sort of light which he thinks is the light from Cortana which is Cordelia's sword that she's been fighting this demon with then he ends up there saves her and then the two of them have their little moment but now with all that aside he and grace planned to meet up in private like in secret and just talk because like she sends him a letter saying like she's in danger and so he goes to meet up with her and she's like yeah I'm in danger because my mom is going to send me away to Idris she says it was a mistake for me to come here and she's going to like lock me away for years and she suggests s' that the two of them get married in a mundane ceremony meaning he's going to be stripped of his marks that both of them would be stripped of their Shadowhunter marks meaning they could never see their families again they would never be able to see the shadow world or they down world or anything and they would have to live as mundanes and she suggested this and I was like evil she is evil I have been right this whole time she's absolutely evil like I stopped reading there's probably more on this page honestly that'll give me like more answers but James is just like taking a back from like the last sentence that I read I just what how could you suggest that obviously obviously she is evil controlled by something clearly something more is going on here there's a lot of like emotional probably's come some kind of supernatural manipulation going on here like levels of it I don't like it I don't like her don't like Tatiana both of them seem really creepy and really resentful either grace is like being held captive and literally controlled by someone which if that's the case please someone free her but otherwise she just seems super creepy so don't know which one it is I know I keep coming back to this this is like the main question that I want answered what is the deal with grace Blackthorne that is my main question anyway I'm gonna continue reading and hopefully we'll find out what James does she's like so in love with Cordelia like every other time he mentions Cordelia he's like basically like I'm in love with her grace even said at some point you're in love with her and he was like what no she's my friend and like sure sure James my favorite thing about the hare and dales is that they're always in denial like constantly in denial honestly it's like genetic or something anyway I'm gonna go back to reading now and I will update once again once some more stuff happens this is just a flat-out emotional manipulation she's literally just like sacrifice everything in your life for me give up your entire family all of your friends your duty as a Shadowhunter everything that you have ever known your entire world for me she's flat-out emotionally manipulating him here this is such an unhealthy relationship I hate it I hate it I hate it oh I hate it I hate it so much James my precious boy please see through this someone please help him see what's going on Matthew knows Matthew has been saying this whole time that he doesn't like her that he doesn't trust this we even knew that Matthew knows what's up dude I hate Oh like though I'm so sorry just like the way she keeps saying things like any man would marry me any man would do this if I asked him but not you you have to be different all of this is because you didn't come to interest this summer you forgot me like blaming him because he's not willing to give up his entire life to just be with her oh I hate it so much I want Grace gone I want Grace gone oh my god I hate it I hate it oh he's like grace I do want to marry you and she's like not enough oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god I hate it hate I hate it they're about to get attacked by a demon now but I'm still so mad at grace this her and now all of his friends and his sister came to save him boy James people love you more people than grace love you you don't deserve the pain and emotional she's putting you through you deserve better than this my precious boy oh my God look and your friends are coming to save you now like just choose them please choose them oh my god I'm so upset I'm so sad for James right now I'm literally so sad I we really just want to like go into this book and throw grace out of it like I was so mad I hate I hate it I hate this uh was all of this kind of like foreshadowing like emotionally manipulative relationship because earlier there was that part where James mentions he asks will at some point he's like is love supposed to hurt this much and will tells him yeah it's extremely painful but love is worth it because it's love or something along those lines and I think he's like not understanding that this isn't the type of painful but it's meant to be so there's talk of Magnus Bane and I'm very happy because if he makes an appearance in this I will cry every time Magnus makes an appearance I cry because I love him with my whole heart have you described him as my personal hero and then James says indeed you once described him as quote Oscar Wilde if he had magic powers which is the best description I've ever heard of Magnus a number of references to Oscar Wilde that Matthew makes or just loved it here for it I live for it and I can't wait for Magnus to show up so I'm gonna keep reading to find out when that happens they just mentioned Taddy if you don't know what that is I'm just a very beginning of chapter 11 and Cordelia's mom is making food for them and she says the Taguig is cold and it's italicized cuz the word is in Farsi tagging is essentially like when you cook rice at the bottom of the pan of rice like you can make a thing called Taguig which is essentially like crispy rice so you essentially like let the rice get crispy sometimes you can put bread at the bottom of it or potatoes or something else and it gets crispy it's like the best part of the rice it's like my favorite Persian food magic is life it's the best thing ever and like to have the word tadig I mean like romanized but still like the word Taguig in a Cassandra Clare book is making me so much more emotional than I ever thought it would but like dude oh can you imagine if I was like 12 years old reading this when I was like embarrassed to have people come over and like eat Persian food at my house oh my god my god oh my god and where's bum yay oh my god they're having so much precious food in me Oh cry I like can't explain now this is literally the first time I've ever like felt my ethnicity represented in something like truly I'm emotional I know it seems kind of ridiculous because it's something like so simple like they're literally just talking about Persian food but like when you grow up feeling like feeling like you're supposed to hide that part of you feeling like you can't show that part of yourself to people if they come over to your house so you can't talk about these things you just like can't talk to certain people about this stuff because they just don't experience it or they don't know what it is and like you can explain it but there's like just a lack of understanding that's there that only other people who share that experience understand I know I'm literally like tearing up over just a mention of Persian food but I I love this book and now they're moms calling Alister Alister June and like that means like dear June means like dear it's like what my parents call me my grandparents call me I'm so emotional I really didn't think this would affect me that much but like Cordelia being Persian means the world to me dude it's just like think about going your entire life reading books where the parents of the characters call them like deer or honey or sweetie or whatever I'm like my parents didn't call me that my parents don't call me that like I have never been called like sweetie or my deer or something by my family like it's just like not it's not what I grew up with so like I've had to read that my entire life and accept that that's just like normal because it is for a lot of people but like to have a book not just any book like a book from one of my favorite series ever part of a fantasy series which is one of my favorite ever to have like the mother of these characters just go up and be like Alistair Joe and Cordelia drew in like that oh it means everything yeah I don't know I'm too emotional about this I just have to keep reading hello I thought we had Alistair and Thomas becoming a thing obviously Thomas has feelings for him but apparently Charles Fairchild and Alistair are a thing secretly because he's engaged to Adrian it's not a real linked engagement I don't know I don't know oh my god these love triangles these love triangles though the most shocking things that have happened in this book so far has been like who's actually into who because like at first you think that James is fully gonna be into Cordelia but then grace comes out of nowhere and then you're like Oh Thomas announced are definitely gonna be into each other and then Charles comes out of nowhere anyway we got to find out some more so see you later I didn't ask for this inner turmoil with Charles and Alistair I didn't what is this what is this why am I so emotional oh my god this is gonna be another series that just tears me apart with like the relationships isn't it I'm not complaining that's like what I'm here for in Cassandra Clare books that was what I was missing it's here and I'm living for it and also slowly dying I'm also listening to Sam Smith while I'm reading this so like that isn't really helping my emotions either I think that's probably making you feel even more emotional but it's fine it's the mood what grace is marrying Charles and she broke up with James which one how dare she hurt him - I wanted the satisfaction of him breaking up with her because I can't stand grace and now three Matthew goes to talk to her and she puts her hand on his arm and says you feel something for me now don't you kiss me I demand that you do she's like a siren or something isn't she what is she what is she I am so confused she has to be like a siren type of thing right that's how she was able to get James to like be so entranced by her nearly willing to give up his marks even though he still said no like oh my god what what what I need to finish reading this page hold on no no no I feel so vindicated having been suspicious this entire time of her knowing that she was up to no good still have no idea what she is but she just used her weird compulsive powers whatever they are to make Matthew kiss her and then told him that if he tells anyone she's gonna tell James and Charles why I am so glad that they are broken up I'm so glad that that is out of the way you're not prepared for his heartbreak because he's gonna be so sad cuz he ended that entire breakup conversation with being like hair and nails only love once but also it's fine because his first an actual only love was Cordelia so it's gonna be all fine everything is gonna be okay you will be okay James my son everything is going to be fine I think Matthew has feelings for Cordelia I'm gonna lose my mind I can't I can't I can't no no we're not having another gem we'll and Tessa love triangle that is not about to happen I am not about to have that exact same situation happen all over again I'm not here for that not here for that I'm not here for that no no no no history is not repeating itself I can't I refuse I'm so excited I don't want this this is not what I wanted I love both James and Matthew so much and I don't want this to be a thing that tears them apart but we know that she ends up with James anyway so like someone's gonna be sad I just don't want people to be sad I hate this I hate it here I don't want to be here Oh hold on first of all this is pretty much exactly the same scene that that will and Tessa have when they go to that one party in Clockwork Angel and they're on that balcony and they've both like had some of that weird drink that they weren't supposed to have or whatever it was this is like the same thing same thing going on but even better I cannot believe that happen I cannot believe that happened that was everything I wanted and then of course Matthew had to walk in I know he's gonna be hurt and then James is gonna be hurt and I don't even Cordelia realizes that he has feelings for her just like Cordelia and James be together just please please oh I'm losing my mind dude oh my god I like I have to stop reading like I got to the end of the chapter she said Daisy my Daisy oh wait okay kami about like I can't I love how I texted you like what was it like an hour ago being like I love Matthew I love Matthew so much and like I still love Matthew and that's what makes this so much worse it's the same as well Germans have fun I'm so upset oh my god me too I was like there's no way cuz like this entire time I keep predicting things I'm like okay well that's already happened cuz like I was like oh they're not gonna do like a parapet i er i love with eachother a thing again cuz they just did that in the dark artifices so I was like that's not gonna happen we've already had the two members of a pair of the time I both in love with the same person like we've already had that happen so like she's not gonna do that again oh my god I would really just like I want you to tell me how much worse it's gonna get but I don't what chapter is this chapter 15 I'm just gonna mark this one off thank you so that I can remember that this happened and just come back to it I really I really just want to stop okay like I'm just gonna I'm gonna read the rest of this if things are upsetting I will live in denial for the next year until next March when the next book comes out and just continuously reread chapter 15 and everything oh it's not alright I'm gonna go I will continue to read I will text you the updates and I'll probably call you if I finish it okay some things we've learned Lucy can basically call up the dead she has like control or power over ghosts somehow Cordelia's mom is pregnant which is odd and very random also strange because there is no third car Sierra's child on that family tree because it's just Alistair and Cordelia so this kid isn't gonna be born or her mom is just lying and she's not actually pregnant also Matthew supposedly murdered someone and Cordelia found out that her dad wasn't actually sick this entire time and basically he's just an alcoholic and her brother and her mom kept it from her they wanted to protect her so yeah we learned quite a few things but I'm just like really baffled at this random revelation that her mom is pregnant it just feels out of place I'm suspicious I am suspicious that is the moral of this entire video I am suspicious of everything okay I what is happening so they go to the silent City they being James Matthew and Cordelia because they get a letter from Jem supposedly saying that he wants to meet with them urgently and they go there only to find out that Jem didn't send the letter and some demon most likely this Prince of hell James is great her grandfather I guess is the one controlling all of these people and then they try and run away but James is infected with like whatever this weird poisoned demon poison thing is and then he I think enters the portal to that other dimension that he's connected to that like shadow world and he just leaves because as all like people who were possessed we're saying this has always been about him and they were like chanting his name and saying this has always been about James and he goes into this portal and it before he leaves he says it's about me it's always been about me I have no other choice what does that mean what is happening I have so many questions I have so many questions I still think that grace is behind all of this I have like about a hundred pages left so yeah we'll see we'll see what happens I I had to put the book down I literally I read one line and immediately just like physical whole body reaction just know just know James is in his bed recovering from basically nearly dying Jessie sacrificed his like last breath that he had basically his chance at life to save James which was beautiful wonderful we love Jessie he's waiting for Cordelia to show up because she's still recovering from her broken leg he gets a knock on his door saying that there's a lady coming to visit him and he's like Cordelia I'm Cornelia it's grace and grace is absolutely about to kiss him and somehow like use her mind control whatever powers to convince him to tell Cordelia that he doesn't love her or something I don't know something to break her heart but he's not gonna want to do but he's gonna have no choice cuz either he's gonna be like under her influence or she's gonna threaten him or something and it's gonna be miserable and I hate it I hate it I hate it I'm not here for it I'm not here I can't even read it I can't even finish reading it I literally I saw the line not Cordelia it's grace Blackthorne and I just like no no I know what I signed up for when I started reading this book so like I shouldn't be surprised and I'm like not I'm just so upset I don't want to finish this I can't even finish this scene I know it's coming I know I'm 100% right I know that's exactly what's about to happen and I hate it I hate it I hate it I was right and I hate it I hate it so much I hate this why can't they just be happy why can't they just be happy just be happy and of course Cordelia and Matthew walk in right as she kisses him and leaves like the like pain oh he's about to break Cordelia's heart and I I can't take this like his heart is broken and he doesn't even know it but Cordelia's hearts gonna be broken and she's gonna feel all of it and Kathy Claire I love you but also why why can't you just be happy listen the way that I need Cordelia to just like take Cortana and cut this bracelet off of James's wrist please please do it I know nobody knows that the bracelet is the thing that is like controlling him or whatever or part of this I don't know possession like someone please just please Cordelia just take Cortana cut the bracelet off his wrist and we'll be golden everything will be good everything will be fine if that's how like this Alton ends up happening like in the second book third book whenever whenever we have our happy ending I hope that that's what happens I hope she takes Cortana and cuts it off of his wrist James did not just ask Cordelia to marry him that did not just happen I can't even finish reading the rest of this page but not just happen what do you like absolute rollercoaster of emotions that I have been on for the past like two hours is insane yes and then she says but James you don't love me I mean he says no I don't we are done we are done with this but I am done with this book I'm literally about to like chuck this across the room I don't want to be here anymore hey I did not throw these emotions except I kind of did it but like I did it I hate it why is this painful because of like all the great stuff that happens with him like having his whole mask thing on again and just like not being himself and being in this trance essentially to like him asking her to marry him and then saying I don't love you though in Cordelia's poor heart just being completely broken oh I'm just like thinking about the amount of pain James is gonna be in when he comes out of this and realizes like what happened to him and what he's done like he's oh oh oh listen when I said at least we know that James and Cordelia get married this is not what I meant this is not what I meant this is not what I asked for No thank you please just take it all back take back the family treat take back this whole book take it all back I don't want it I should have stopped that for chapter 15 when they had their whole makeout scene I should have stopped I should just stop treating it this is not what I wanted all right so I have finished the book I'm gonna give my final thoughts on everything tomorrow when it's not the middle of the night and I'm more coherent and more just not emotionally wrecked but basically this book broke me it just broke me and I am devastated but yeah um I'll see you guys tomorrow with my actual final thoughts for now I'm just gonna go cry myself to sleep because that's all I can do so I woke up about 30 minutes ago or so graded the book on Goodreads cry a little bit more and now it's time to wrap up my thoughts I guess part of me just wants to read it all over again and the other part of me literally like wants to like lock it away somewhere and like never touch it again I'm mad I'm mad at this book I like I'm gonna hold this grudge for a little while I have a hard time being around her okay like she she hurt me the thing is I feel like I went into this expecting it to hurt me obviously it's the Cassandra Clare book all Cassandra Clare books caused me at least a little bit of pain and angst it's just inevitable but I think I was just expecting something lighter which is probably naive of me cuz like I shouldn't have done that it's that was stupid like I've read enough of her books to know especially when it's the characters I really care about you should never expect to be happy you should never expect them to not be tortured the entire time because that's what Cassie Claire loves to to her characters and boy did she do that in this one oh I'm so upset the other thing I was doing last night before I went to bed was looking at some of the questions that Santa Clara answered on her tumblr about the book cuz I could finally look at the spoiler ones and someone asked her a question about that family tree and she was saying like don't trust the family tree it's already betrayed you something along those lines and I was like well there goes that like I have I have nothing to go off of at this point like nothing to go off of I was basing all of my theories on that goddamn family tree I was like at least Cordelia and James get married and when I said that at the beginning this video that was not that was that's not what I meant this this is not what I meant that's not how I wanted them to get married and I am so upset I have never loved a book and yet been so mad at it at the same time like this this was great this was perfect in so many ways it delivered everything I wanted and everything I didn't want and I have to respect that my brain is still all over the place I thought last night was gonna be like too much for me to start talking about this cuz I was so overwhelmed but at this point like I woke up feeling like this was a fever dream and if I hadn't recorded my entire process of every single emotion I went through of reading this book I wouldn't have believed that I actually read it like it's just not real to me this was not a real experience so I guess so just kind of like sum up my thoughts on like the end of the book and everything else that happened that I didn't get to cover I'll kind of go through character by character cuz I feel like that's the simplest way to do it and also that way I can talk about my love for the characters because I feel like that's one of my biggest takeaways from this is just how much I love this whole cast of characters we're gonna start off with Cordelia James and Cordelia because I can't separate the two at the moment I feel like I spent a good majority of this entire video talking about James and Cordelia because like I'm sorry I love them I adore Cordelia I adore Cordelia with my entire heart Cordelia hands down is my favorite female character that Cassandra Clare has ever written like I love her I felt so seen I felt so represented in a way I have never felt before getting to see a character who is Persian who speaks Farsi who eats Persian food whose mother calls her by terms of endearment in Farsi like that I know like I talked about this earlier and it seems like kind of small but like to me that was not small at all to me that meant everything and I just like related so much to Cordelia not just because of those things like there was so much about her personality that I felt like was so different than a lot of the Cassie Claire characters that we've had in the past which is one of my favorite things that she does like every time rights like new main characters they're always so different from each other the characters don't feel like carbon copies of like the old main characters Clary is so different from Emma and is so different from Tess oh so different from Cordelia and I love that I love them all in their own individual ways but I love Cordelia and Cordelia's hands down the one I relate to the most her personality her approach to everything just her experience in life of being Persian and I think we'll probably get some more of it but kind of like feeling a bit disconnected from that part of herself because she's traveled so much around the world and she hasn't really been settled in a place just everything about her he's perfect I love her I love Cordelia Carstairs I want to be her I love her I can't explain how much her character means to me like I I get teary-eyed every single time I talk about it every single time I think about it I love Cordelia I cannot believe that like I had this if that makes sense like this book feels so personal to me because of that obviously the part where she like killed Belial I was like she killed Belial but obviously we know he's a prince of Hell he's not dead like the dudes not gonna die and of course he comes back at the very end and he has told plan with Tatiana which gonna take us a year to figure out what that is or probably more she's not gonna tell us in the second book for sure her love for James murders me I was just so absolutely devastated during that proposal scene well first when she was like James didn't burn down the blackthorn Manor because he was in my bed the whole night I was like she is a bad I loved her and then the proposal scene happens and I was like I can't take this like she's so heartbroken she's so devastated I'm so heartbroken and devastated like this is the most heartbreak I've ever experienced I just still can't believe she says but James you don't love me and he's like no I don't you don't love me either and I was just like what is this what is this I didn't ask for this pain I didn't ask for this pain and then of course we've got James who like you saw the clips of me freaking out about it but like I can't believe the amount of like suffering this poor boy has had to go through and he doesn't even like know that's the worst part of it he has no idea he's under some kind of spell or he's being controlled or whatever like he has no idea that any of this is happening and he's gonna wake up from this have that bracelet cut off whatever ends up happening he's gonna get out of this cuz there's no way he doesn't get out of this they need to be happy okay I refuse to not let them be happy I don't know what I'm gonna do but I will do something to make sure that they are happy but however it happens he is gonna come out of it and then he's just gonna be devastated because he's gonna realize that he broke the heart of the girl that he loves without even knowing that that was happening like oh my god James hair nails my hair nails will never never stop hair nails just won't let me live like they will never stop hurting me this way I have been reading these books since I was 12 years old and every year since then a Herondale has broken my heart like flat-out that just like constantly happens and I hate them for it but I love them another aspect of this story that I actually really really loved which took me by surprise cuz I didn't think I would like this so much was actually like the group dynamic like this friend group this squad whatever you want to call them is really incredible the group is a bit bigger than some of the other ones that we've had in other books the friendships in this one were different like James and Matthew and Thomas and Christopher like they're already a core group of like good friends who went to the Shadowhunter Academy together so they have this like established bond and then of course we have Cordelia and Lucy who are very close to one another and then Anna and Alastair and like this whole group is just so incredible like I just loved their dynamic I loved that it was kind of already an established relationship like they all had established relationships that we came into it was different than other ones where characters are just being introduced to each other and they don't know anything about each other I think that made it easier for me to like the characters more quickly too because I felt like we needed less time to be introduced to them because let me already have an established relationship it kind of feels like you are already a part of it and there's no need for like those introductions and I prefer that sometimes so that's one thing I really really liked about this the other thing I really loved about this as well was the plot I felt like it was actually very similar in my opinion to clockwork angels I feel like people complain about Clockwork Angel a lot of time and say that it's more like simple compared to a lot of the other Mortal Instruments books but personally I just think that it's not over complicated honestly sometimes I think the other Shadowhunter books get a bit too over complicated and it can become like crowded the story feels a little bit crowded for me like that's how I felt about the dark artifices personally but with the Infernal Devices and with this one especially I felt like there was so much going on like there was a lot going on in this story plot wise but at the same time it felt very clean and I really really liked that about it like there was so much space for the characters to just be there and be themselves and develop and grow which I really appreciated because the plot didn't feel like it was overpowering them the end did get like a bit chaotic like what else do we expect from the end of the Cassie Clare book that like always happens and it made sense story wise but yeah that's another thing that I think I really really loved about this and then of course we've got to talk about Lucy and Jesse because he's still alive and Belial obviously has some kind of like weird plan for him Belial and Tatiana apparently something super important about him I still don't trust that like last breath or whatever that he gave to James because there was dark magic that was used to create that to put James in this like place between like life and death so he's not fully a ghost but he's also not fully alive and I feel like there was so much dark magic there that giving that to James wouldn't be necessarily a good thing I don't think Jessie's bad I think he's actually not involved in any of this but I think it's against his will if he is I just don't trust it because there's definitely some dark magic going on with that and I feel like that might be a thing that comes back up I could be completely wrong because who knows what she's gonna end up doing but I have a feeling that it might be a thing it might be a thing we need to be worried about as for the other characters I am so happy that Magnus Bane made an appearance the love of my life I'm so happy he's gonna read in the next book and I think he's gonna be in the last one as well I also absolutely adore Anna Lightwood I love Christopher and Thomas I even loved Alistair at this point Alistair is one of those characters that like started out kind of like iffy for me I was super suspicious of him I was like I don't trust you something feels off but then he grew on me so so much as the book went on and I can't wait to like learn more about him I will we'll say the only character I still hate is Grace I hate grace can't trust her I have a feeling she's gonna have some kind of a Redemption all right like we're gonna find something out where it's gonna be like oh she's also somehow being controlled or she really doesn't have a choice and I'm still so confused about what her actual feelings about James are like I don't think she actually loves him but I don't think she hates him and wants him to suffer so I'm very confused I feel like the only person she actually cares about is Jessie but I don't know I'm still super suspicious of her don't trust her don't like her still think she might be evil but we shall see I have not forgiven her for anything she's done in this book and I will forever be upset until we find out what's actually going on and we get some answers because I need answers I just desperately need answers but yeah I think that pretty much sums up most of my thoughts on chain of gold by Cassandra Clare as for my star rating I am giving this book a 5 out of 5 stars I don't think I could give anything less than that based on the sheer amount of different emotions this book made me experience it deserves five stars the thing I don't understand is that this is the first book in the series like this is gonna be a trilogy and this is book one yet this book has series finale energy like I would put this on par with clockwork princess for the amount of emotional turmoil that it put me through and if it's only the first book like where are we gonna go from here I don't even want to know look I'm too afraid how is it that the first book made me feel this much pain and what does that mean for the future books like how much are we gonna suffer I don't want to know like I just I can't read these anymore I quit like I just I can't read them I can't read the rest of this series I refuse I quit I'm never reading another book again truly though in all seriousness I love this book I absolutely love it it is hands-down one of my favorite Cassandra Clare books it's God Tyr if I were to rank them it's up there with clockwork princess and clockwork Prince and clockwork angel for me I have a feeling that once this series concludes it could surpass the original Infernal Devices trilogy for me that might be a stretch we have to see where it goes we have to see how much more heartbreak I can take and how much of a happy ending we get because I have doubts about that but it is absolutely up there like this is already my second-favorite Cassandra Clare series I don't want to wait for train of iron but honestly I am kind of happy that I have to wait because I haven't forgiven this book and I don't think I will for a while so I think I'm gonna need that year to just like recover and get over this and then I'll be okay to read the next one cuz I don't think I could take more of this right now I really don't but I hope you all enjoyed watching this vlog I hope you had a good time coming along with me on this journey of just pure emotion and heartbreak in pain if you have any thoughts on train of gold whatsoever please leave them in the comments down below I would love to discuss it with you I'm gonna take a bit of a break edit this video I think by the time that you guys finally see this and this is up I'll be ready enough to actually talk about it with other people so we have please do let me know any of your thoughts and emotions and feelings that you have about chain of gold if there are any theories or anything that you have I would love to hear them I love just talking about theories I feel like there were a ton of things that were probably hinted at here that just completely went over my head cuz I was too emotional about everything else that was going on so yeah I would love to discuss any theories any feelings and emotions with you all so please do let me know your thoughts but thank you all so much for watching this video I truly hope that you enjoyed it if you would like to follow me on any of my social media all of my links are in the description box as always but thank you all so much for watching I love you all so much and I will see you in my next video byehello everyone and welcome welcome to my journey with chain of gold if you're new here hi hello my name is Hannah I love reading books and this video is a reading vlog slash review for chain of gold by Cassandra Clare aka my most anticipated book of the century but chain of gold I'm gonna read her we're gonna talk about her and I'm going to profusely apologize in advance for the length of this video I know how incredibly long it is I know it's ridiculous but I had a lot of thoughts a lot of emotions and it just felt wrong to cut a lot of it out plus you guys always tell me that you want me to make really long videos and the raw footage for this was 4 hours and 30 minutes long and people still told me to keep the entire thing so you're getting an hour-long video I hope that's enough for you I hope it's not too much I'm sorry if it is I promise all my videos won't be this long I'm filming this after having already read the book so you're getting post chain of gold Hanna who is a very different person than pretty chain of gold Hanna chain of gold is the sequel series to the Infernal Devices which is the prequel to the original Mortal Instruments series I know how complicated and confusing that sounds so if you want to know the order in which to read these books I'm gonna leave you a link in the description box below that gives you at the publication order of all the books which is the way that I recommend that you read them if you're interested in reading them and I know a lot of people are gonna ask if you have to read all the books before you read this the answer is technically no but my answer is yes but at the very least you've got to read the Infernal Devices before you read this book because it's going to spoil everything from that series for you so unless you have no interest in reading any of these other Shadowhunter books then you can definitely read chain of gold first but if you do plan to read any of those books don't read this book first especially don't read this before the Infernal Devices read those through first then read this and you'll be golden but as most of you know I've loved this series for so long it's held such a special place in my heart it's been so important to me I grew up reading these and to have the continuation of like my favorite trilogy ever finally in my hands is incredibly exciting and I'm just so grateful but it's finally out the day that I received this advance copy in the mail I was unbelievably excited and I filmed a quick clip of myself right when I got it I just checked the mail and I got a package that I literally feel like I've been waiting for since high school since I first found out this book was even gonna come out I just can't believe I'm literally holding this in my hands right now I don't think I've ever been this excited to receive a book in my life I have it I have it right here I'm literally so excited I've truly been waiting for this book since I was in like my sophomore year of high school and Here I am 23 and the book is finally here and it's in my hands and oh my god it's so beautiful I'm so excited to read it our main character Cordelia Carstairs is I think half Persian I don't know if she's fully Persian or half Persian I can't remember but she's Persian I'm Persian the fact that I'm finally reading a book where a character one of the main characters the main character is actually Persian and it's part of my favorite series like one of my favorite series franchise whatever like of all time and I've been reading this ever since I was a kid like I'm finally getting to see that part of myself represented in something and especially something that means this much to me like I'm just I'm literally gonna cry oh okay thank you so much just I'm in teen for sending this to me this is not sponsored they just sent it to me and I'm very very grateful so yeah I I can't wait so yeah obviously extremely excited to read this and also very excited to film a reading vlog just documenting my entire experience of all of the emotions that I went through reading chain of gold I also do want to mention that this reading vlog and review is going to be completely spoiler filled so if you have not read chain of gold if you haven't read the Infernal Devices or honestly any of the other Shadowhunter books but especially this one and the Infernal Devices I'm going to be spoiling those very heavily in this video so you definitely don't want to stick around if you haven't read those and you don't want to know what happens but if you have no interest in reading them or you just don't care about being spoiled and feel free to go ahead and watch me just absolutely lose my mind for an hour straight because I don't have any way to describe what this book did to me you just you got to watch it for yourself so I hope you all enjoy my descent into madness and without any further ado let's get into it it's so fun time alright hello so quick update I'm like about 20 ish pages into the book so far so like still not a lot of progress so far I'm really just like learning the characters names all we really know is that James Herondale has a connection to the shadow world they thought that maybe since will is a shadow hunter and Tessa is a warlock their kids would have some sort of like strange abilities or something or may not be able to wear runes but they can wear runes they're perfectly fine like they have that Nephilim blood but James has a connection to the shadow world so he can be like pulled into the shadow world which is fascinating so that's that's interesting that's definitely gonna present a lot of problems for sure haven't met Cordelia yet we just had like that early scene with Lucy where she saw like that random boy in the woods honestly I've got to go back and like rewatch my queen of air and our kiss review because I remember so little about what happened at the end of that series and I feel like I'm just gonna be like jumping to conclusions in here and then halfway through remember that that was something that was already explained it's gonna be interesting so please bear with me I'll probably be theorizing a lot of things that have already been answered but I I don't remember a lot okay it's a very long series there's so much to it I'll update you guys as I continue to read more and let you know once I get to another exciting part in the book once we learn some more new things or if I have any other new theories alright everyone hello I have changed into comfy clothes that are warm put my hair up and I'm ready to keep reading I've gotten to a point where I'm like who is who because this family tree is the most confusing thing on earth everyone is related to everyone in some way because they're Shadowhunters I can't keep track of everyone so I broke out my trusty family tree that is inside the dust jacket of clockwork princess it's not trusty don't trust it I trust nothing anymore so I always go back to this whenever I read this series because yeah I never remember how everyone is related but I remembered that since I had this this tells me who gets married to who from this series to cuz this goes all the way to Jace for the Herondale line so looking at this we know who marries who like if the point I've gotten in the book Cordelia has like just joined up with the Herondale family they've just her family's just come to the London Institute her and Alastair and according to this family tree she does end up marrying James Herondale and at this point of the book she's like very much in love with this boy like she has a huge crush on him and I hope it ends up being a good happy thing because they do get married and they do have kids they have Owen Herondale so yeah so this is like kind of spoilery for this series but also like I've known this since whenever this book came out in like 2013 I don't even know a long time ago so we've known for a long time that these characters are gonna end up with certain people but I'm excited to see how we get there I don't know I just feel like things aren't gonna turn out as expected like the relationships aren't gonna be as clean-cut as we expect them to be I'm already hoping for James and Cordelia to be happy because so far she's very much in love with him and I've only known her for like ten pages maybe but I only want good things for her I will update you as I find out some more about this complicated family tree and as I find out some more interesting things as the book goes on so I'll see you soon promise I'm not gonna update on every single page but we just had a will Tessa and Jem moment I'm not okay I did not expect the first years to come on page 40 of this like 500 page book but yeah they're here this heinous one will finds out his parents died of influenza and he's really sad and he's sitting on the floor against Tess's legs and in Jem comes in and just like pulls him into his chest and those times crying I just can't I so in love with the three of them and their relationship these characters are like honestly they feel like my friends from my childhood that's how much I love wheel Jem and Tessa and I I am NOT gonna be okay for the rest of this but this isn't gonna destroy me this is the first time we've like actually had will like in a scene and he's still not even like older will this is still a flashback but oh oh I hate it I hate it I just all right so I'm taking a quick break just to update and stuff don't mind my headphones and listening to music while I'm reading but basically things that we have figured out cordelia Carstairs is in love with James and just like has been for as long as she's known him basically James has feelings for someone that we don't know that I just found out about but that we didn't know and Matthew he's parabatai doesn't approve of her i'm thinks that like there's something suspicious going on which it's so far I trust that boy so we know he doesn't approve and then we get to this ball and James asks Cordelia to dance and she's like oh my god I'm dancing with him I'm so happy and he's holding my hand like all this stuff is going through her head and he just like books it to the entrance of the ballroom door because Tatiana Blackthorne walks through the door with grace Blackthorne and she's the girl that he's been in love with so Cordelia is like a little bit heartbroken I'm a lot heartbroken I don't know I'm just like super suspicious of this but he's like in love in love with this girl I don't know I don't know I'm still here rooting for James and Cordelia to end up together which like obviously he's going to happen in some capacity because they do get married but I don't know I don't know I'm like feeling a lot of emotions there was also this whole scene where Cordelia's mother was like dressing her for this ball her brother's like why do girls constantly look at themselves because she's like looking in the mirror and like checking herself and like checking to make sure her outfit and everything is fine and she says like in her head not actually to him out loud but she says because mother gets to choose how I dress and you get to decide how you dress or something along those lines and like that just really resonated with me in a lot of ways because I think that is very true or something that a lot of girls experience when they're young like you don't get a lot of say over how you look a lot of the time people just decide what you're gonna look like and how you're gonna dress and her mom really wants her to like look really beautiful and wear like the most expensive things and like designer clothing and all this stuff despite the fact that even if she likes dressing up and stuff she doesn't get to choose how she does it and she feels uncomfortable about it Cordelia Carstairs is honestly already I'm like not even a hundred pages into this book yet and she is already one of my favorite Cassandra Clare characters in existence we have like miss Payne will hairtail and Cordelia like those are my top three at the moment so yeah um I just wanted to quickly update you guys on those thoughts I would really had to get up to charge my camera battery because it died in the middle of me filming but hold on we're sitting we're sitting on the ground for a second okay time to take my hair down and everything I'm so frustrated James boy hello he's talking to grace as he's dancing with her and he straight-up goes she was light and slim not nearly as soft and warm as Daisy like pause in his thought M - Daisy he'd been dancing with Daisy just a few minutes ago he couldn't remember excusing himself couldn't remember leaving her he looked away from grace for the first time and searched the floor for Cordelia he found her in moments she was easy to spot no one else had hair lack color a deep dark red she was dancing with Matthew he saw to his surprise Matthews arms were around her she was smiling relief went through him so we hadn't done her any harm that was good he liked Cordelia they were family friends boy stop he had done no harm to her this girl is hurt you hurt her feelings hello oh my god I get it he's infatuated with this girl that he's in love with he was waiting for her to show up he dropped everything for her to go and see her in that moment but boy to just be like oh he didn't harm her yes you did you are in her feelings ah I haven't had this many emotions about like a romance in a book for a while because I haven't been reading anything that's been like romance heavy and there's just something about a good Cassandra Clare romance that gets me like really worked up and really into these relationships and I am mad at James at the moment I mean like it wasn't that bad like he didn't actually like hurt hurt her but like this boy better figure out his feelings I'm not about to sit here and have him string her along and just like continuously say yeah we're just like family friends when you say things like not nearly as soft or warm as Daisy he even has his own nickname for her that only he uses you can't expect me not to ship them I'm rider die anyway gonna go back to reading some more of this probably hang out in my room now for a little while and read here instead I haven't made that much progress at all but it feels like so much has happened and it also if you like nothing has happened and I still have so much left I don't even know how long this book is 581 pages I'm not gonna finish this today but I'm gonna try and get through as much of it as I can okay so that boy that Lucy Herondale saw at the beginning of the book the very first chapter was the ghost of Jesse Blackthorne who's supposed to be dead but he's a ghost but also kind of not a ghost and no one can see him except for his family and Lucy for some reason which both of them don't understand why and he says he's not exactly a normal ghost so he's in between this world in the next and I'm confused I am so confused because she marries Jesse blackthorn so how does she marry a ghost do they resurrect him somehow or does she become a cup I have so many questions okay quick thing just saying before we even move further along I don't trust Tatiana or grace Blackthorne and it's not because James is in love with her or whatever there is just something super suspicious about Tatiana and grace and I have a feeling that both of them were mentioned in the bane Chronicles but it's been so long since I've read the bane Chronicles that I like don't remember but I feel like I remember something about them in like one of the novellas that I read but I haven't read all the novellas so like don't mind me if I don't have some of this information cuz I don't really read the novellas very much she seems very suspicious Tatiana seems very suspicious I don't trust either of them and I feel like a bunch of stuffs gonna come up with that so I'm just calling it right now they're both suspicious they could end up being completely fine but I don't trust either of them at all and I feel like I remember something about her with Magnus both Tatiana and grace Blackthorne I remember something about them with Magnus and Magnus didn't trust them and if Magnus doesn't trust someone I don't trust someone cuz I trust Magnus with my whole heart and soul he knows everything that's up all the time and he's my favorite character in all of this like this entire universe so if Magnus doesn't trust someone neither do I will intercept being emo about Jem why am I even reading this book but really any time will entice a talk and Jem is mentioned any any of those moments in this book tears I just I can't hold so more okay many things to update about I haven't even made that much progress in the book but I got to the chapter where we have James and Cordelia's back story about how she helped him through his fever when he was sick when he was young no she wouldn't like read to him and stuff that murdered me that that was great I am ride-or-die for James and Cordelia absolutely a hundred percent into this ship I am here for it I have not loved a Cassandra Clare ship this way since will and Tessa like for me it's literally will and Tessa and Alec and Magnus they're like up there there's nobody else who even like reaches that level except for James and Cordelia now and we're like I'm like a hundred pages into book one and I'm already just like ready to just give my heart and soul to them I love it I am here for it I am dying it's so good I have so many feelings about these characters I love everyone so far I'm just loving it I'm loving it so much like this is exactly what I was wanting and expecting obviously like plot wise I have no expectations because I don't know what's gonna happen in terms of the way I was expecting this to make me feel this is exactly what I wanted and needed and I'm so happy so yeah I'm gonna go back to being emotional about James and Cordelia and see where else that this story goes I'm really intrigued to find out about more of the characters I'll update some more once I've read a bit more alright we have reached peak me not trusting grace so we have some more information she was adopted so her parents died when she was 9 years old when they were in interest James would go and like visit her at her house get like me in secret cuz her mom wouldn't let her see anyone or go out really and she's basically trying to convince him to steal this or steal back I guess this bracelet that's supposedly belong to her parents that talk to you on a black Thor and her adoptive mother keeps locked away in some box and she won't let her have this bracelet that supposedly belonged to her biological mother and now she's asking James to find a way to steal the bracelet back for her he's like kind of infatuated with this girl so of course he's like y'all do it but like that's sketchy what is this bracelet we don't know who her parents are we don't know what this bracelet is if Tatiana Blackthorne is locking it away in some box then it probably has some kind of a power that this girl probably shouldn't have access to not that I trust Tatiana Blackthorne either but like all of this is super sketchy I just I need to know I need to know who she is I need to know what her deal is I have so many questions so far I feel like my mind has just been all over the place and I'm like what if this person is this or that person's related to this person or this person's doing that but like I need to like chill and just like let the story unfold but yeah I'm super super excited so I'll update soon okay so many things to update on it's been a couple of hours first things first if you notice that my nails are different it's cuz I painted them in between the time that I last updated you and now so that's why they're not chipped anymore I did take a little bit of a break from reading and stuff but I'm currently on page 245 I think the last time I updated you was when I was reading about James's past with grace and there was like that conversation about the bracelet and I was like that bracelet seems suspicious and he did end up getting the bracelet but he's the one who's wearing the bracelet and I feel like she has some kind of control over him in some weird way or maybe it's Tatiana who has control over him in some kind of weird way I don't know who's like the mastermind behind this but grace and Tatiana I've been saying from the beginning are super suspicious and definitely up to some stuff and I feel like that bracelet is definitely some factor in here because he's been wearing it all of these years and he's been dealing with all this weird shadow world stuff so maybe that's like influencing some of his like shadow world abilities but basically plot wise what's happened so far is that Lucy and Cordelia went to the black Lorren Manor because Lucy wanted to talk to James about the demons that have been like appearing during the day she still hasn't told anyone about James's existence but she convinced Cordelia to come with her Cordelia goes into the green house that gets attacked by a demon meanwhile James is trying to figure out how these demons are coming out during the daytime so he's like I'm gonna try and intentionally go into the shadow world or turn myself into a shadow I'm still like a little iffy on what it is exactly that he's doing but he can kind of like turn himself into a shadow and enter the shadow world is what I'm understanding so he does it like intentionally he ends up being guided to the blackboard Manor because he sees some sort of light which he thinks is the light from Cortana which is Cordelia's sword that she's been fighting this demon with then he ends up there saves her and then the two of them have their little moment but now with all that aside he and grace planned to meet up in private like in secret and just talk because like she sends him a letter saying like she's in danger and so he goes to meet up with her and she's like yeah I'm in danger because my mom is going to send me away to Idris she says it was a mistake for me to come here and she's going to like lock me away for years and she suggests s' that the two of them get married in a mundane ceremony meaning he's going to be stripped of his marks that both of them would be stripped of their Shadowhunter marks meaning they could never see their families again they would never be able to see the shadow world or they down world or anything and they would have to live as mundanes and she suggested this and I was like evil she is evil I have been right this whole time she's absolutely evil like I stopped reading there's probably more on this page honestly that'll give me like more answers but James is just like taking a back from like the last sentence that I read I just what how could you suggest that obviously obviously she is evil controlled by something clearly something more is going on here there's a lot of like emotional probably's come some kind of supernatural manipulation going on here like levels of it I don't like it I don't like her don't like Tatiana both of them seem really creepy and really resentful either grace is like being held captive and literally controlled by someone which if that's the case please someone free her but otherwise she just seems super creepy so don't know which one it is I know I keep coming back to this this is like the main question that I want answered what is the deal with grace Blackthorne that is my main question anyway I'm gonna continue reading and hopefully we'll find out what James does she's like so in love with Cordelia like every other time he mentions Cordelia he's like basically like I'm in love with her grace even said at some point you're in love with her and he was like what no she's my friend and like sure sure James my favorite thing about the hare and dales is that they're always in denial like constantly in denial honestly it's like genetic or something anyway I'm gonna go back to reading now and I will update once again once some more stuff happens this is just a flat-out emotional manipulation she's literally just like sacrifice everything in your life for me give up your entire family all of your friends your duty as a Shadowhunter everything that you have ever known your entire world for me she's flat-out emotionally manipulating him here this is such an unhealthy relationship I hate it I hate it I hate it oh I hate it I hate it so much James my precious boy please see through this someone please help him see what's going on Matthew knows Matthew has been saying this whole time that he doesn't like her that he doesn't trust this we even knew that Matthew knows what's up dude I hate Oh like though I'm so sorry just like the way she keeps saying things like any man would marry me any man would do this if I asked him but not you you have to be different all of this is because you didn't come to interest this summer you forgot me like blaming him because he's not willing to give up his entire life to just be with her oh I hate it so much I want Grace gone I want Grace gone oh my god I hate it I hate it oh he's like grace I do want to marry you and she's like not enough oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god I hate it hate I hate it they're about to get attacked by a demon now but I'm still so mad at grace this her and now all of his friends and his sister came to save him boy James people love you more people than grace love you you don't deserve the pain and emotional she's putting you through you deserve better than this my precious boy oh my God look and your friends are coming to save you now like just choose them please choose them oh my god I'm so upset I'm so sad for James right now I'm literally so sad I we really just want to like go into this book and throw grace out of it like I was so mad I hate I hate it I hate this uh was all of this kind of like foreshadowing like emotionally manipulative relationship because earlier there was that part where James mentions he asks will at some point he's like is love supposed to hurt this much and will tells him yeah it's extremely painful but love is worth it because it's love or something along those lines and I think he's like not understanding that this isn't the type of painful but it's meant to be so there's talk of Magnus Bane and I'm very happy because if he makes an appearance in this I will cry every time Magnus makes an appearance I cry because I love him with my whole heart have you described him as my personal hero and then James says indeed you once described him as quote Oscar Wilde if he had magic powers which is the best description I've ever heard of Magnus a number of references to Oscar Wilde that Matthew makes or just loved it here for it I live for it and I can't wait for Magnus to show up so I'm gonna keep reading to find out when that happens they just mentioned Taddy if you don't know what that is I'm just a very beginning of chapter 11 and Cordelia's mom is making food for them and she says the Taguig is cold and it's italicized cuz the word is in Farsi tagging is essentially like when you cook rice at the bottom of the pan of rice like you can make a thing called Taguig which is essentially like crispy rice so you essentially like let the rice get crispy sometimes you can put bread at the bottom of it or potatoes or something else and it gets crispy it's like the best part of the rice it's like my favorite Persian food magic is life it's the best thing ever and like to have the word tadig I mean like romanized but still like the word Taguig in a Cassandra Clare book is making me so much more emotional than I ever thought it would but like dude oh can you imagine if I was like 12 years old reading this when I was like embarrassed to have people come over and like eat Persian food at my house oh my god my god oh my god and where's bum yay oh my god they're having so much precious food in me Oh cry I like can't explain now this is literally the first time I've ever like felt my ethnicity represented in something like truly I'm emotional I know it seems kind of ridiculous because it's something like so simple like they're literally just talking about Persian food but like when you grow up feeling like feeling like you're supposed to hide that part of you feeling like you can't show that part of yourself to people if they come over to your house so you can't talk about these things you just like can't talk to certain people about this stuff because they just don't experience it or they don't know what it is and like you can explain it but there's like just a lack of understanding that's there that only other people who share that experience understand I know I'm literally like tearing up over just a mention of Persian food but I I love this book and now they're moms calling Alister Alister June and like that means like dear June means like dear it's like what my parents call me my grandparents call me I'm so emotional I really didn't think this would affect me that much but like Cordelia being Persian means the world to me dude it's just like think about going your entire life reading books where the parents of the characters call them like deer or honey or sweetie or whatever I'm like my parents didn't call me that my parents don't call me that like I have never been called like sweetie or my deer or something by my family like it's just like not it's not what I grew up with so like I've had to read that my entire life and accept that that's just like normal because it is for a lot of people but like to have a book not just any book like a book from one of my favorite series ever part of a fantasy series which is one of my favorite ever to have like the mother of these characters just go up and be like Alistair Joe and Cordelia drew in like that oh it means everything yeah I don't know I'm too emotional about this I just have to keep reading hello I thought we had Alistair and Thomas becoming a thing obviously Thomas has feelings for him but apparently Charles Fairchild and Alistair are a thing secretly because he's engaged to Adrian it's not a real linked engagement I don't know I don't know oh my god these love triangles these love triangles though the most shocking things that have happened in this book so far has been like who's actually into who because like at first you think that James is fully gonna be into Cordelia but then grace comes out of nowhere and then you're like Oh Thomas announced are definitely gonna be into each other and then Charles comes out of nowhere anyway we got to find out some more so see you later I didn't ask for this inner turmoil with Charles and Alistair I didn't what is this what is this why am I so emotional oh my god this is gonna be another series that just tears me apart with like the relationships isn't it I'm not complaining that's like what I'm here for in Cassandra Clare books that was what I was missing it's here and I'm living for it and also slowly dying I'm also listening to Sam Smith while I'm reading this so like that isn't really helping my emotions either I think that's probably making you feel even more emotional but it's fine it's the mood what grace is marrying Charles and she broke up with James which one how dare she hurt him - I wanted the satisfaction of him breaking up with her because I can't stand grace and now three Matthew goes to talk to her and she puts her hand on his arm and says you feel something for me now don't you kiss me I demand that you do she's like a siren or something isn't she what is she what is she I am so confused she has to be like a siren type of thing right that's how she was able to get James to like be so entranced by her nearly willing to give up his marks even though he still said no like oh my god what what what I need to finish reading this page hold on no no no I feel so vindicated having been suspicious this entire time of her knowing that she was up to no good still have no idea what she is but she just used her weird compulsive powers whatever they are to make Matthew kiss her and then told him that if he tells anyone she's gonna tell James and Charles why I am so glad that they are broken up I'm so glad that that is out of the way you're not prepared for his heartbreak because he's gonna be so sad cuz he ended that entire breakup conversation with being like hair and nails only love once but also it's fine because his first an actual only love was Cordelia so it's gonna be all fine everything is gonna be okay you will be okay James my son everything is going to be fine I think Matthew has feelings for Cordelia I'm gonna lose my mind I can't I can't I can't no no we're not having another gem we'll and Tessa love triangle that is not about to happen I am not about to have that exact same situation happen all over again I'm not here for that not here for that I'm not here for that no no no no history is not repeating itself I can't I refuse I'm so excited I don't want this this is not what I wanted I love both James and Matthew so much and I don't want this to be a thing that tears them apart but we know that she ends up with James anyway so like someone's gonna be sad I just don't want people to be sad I hate this I hate it here I don't want to be here Oh hold on first of all this is pretty much exactly the same scene that that will and Tessa have when they go to that one party in Clockwork Angel and they're on that balcony and they've both like had some of that weird drink that they weren't supposed to have or whatever it was this is like the same thing same thing going on but even better I cannot believe that happen I cannot believe that happened that was everything I wanted and then of course Matthew had to walk in I know he's gonna be hurt and then James is gonna be hurt and I don't even Cordelia realizes that he has feelings for her just like Cordelia and James be together just please please oh I'm losing my mind dude oh my god I like I have to stop reading like I got to the end of the chapter she said Daisy my Daisy oh wait okay kami about like I can't I love how I texted you like what was it like an hour ago being like I love Matthew I love Matthew so much and like I still love Matthew and that's what makes this so much worse it's the same as well Germans have fun I'm so upset oh my god me too I was like there's no way cuz like this entire time I keep predicting things I'm like okay well that's already happened cuz like I was like oh they're not gonna do like a parapet i er i love with eachother a thing again cuz they just did that in the dark artifices so I was like that's not gonna happen we've already had the two members of a pair of the time I both in love with the same person like we've already had that happen so like she's not gonna do that again oh my god I would really just like I want you to tell me how much worse it's gonna get but I don't what chapter is this chapter 15 I'm just gonna mark this one off thank you so that I can remember that this happened and just come back to it I really I really just want to stop okay like I'm just gonna I'm gonna read the rest of this if things are upsetting I will live in denial for the next year until next March when the next book comes out and just continuously reread chapter 15 and everything oh it's not alright I'm gonna go I will continue to read I will text you the updates and I'll probably call you if I finish it okay some things we've learned Lucy can basically call up the dead she has like control or power over ghosts somehow Cordelia's mom is pregnant which is odd and very random also strange because there is no third car Sierra's child on that family tree because it's just Alistair and Cordelia so this kid isn't gonna be born or her mom is just lying and she's not actually pregnant also Matthew supposedly murdered someone and Cordelia found out that her dad wasn't actually sick this entire time and basically he's just an alcoholic and her brother and her mom kept it from her they wanted to protect her so yeah we learned quite a few things but I'm just like really baffled at this random revelation that her mom is pregnant it just feels out of place I'm suspicious I am suspicious that is the moral of this entire video I am suspicious of everything okay I what is happening so they go to the silent City they being James Matthew and Cordelia because they get a letter from Jem supposedly saying that he wants to meet with them urgently and they go there only to find out that Jem didn't send the letter and some demon most likely this Prince of hell James is great her grandfather I guess is the one controlling all of these people and then they try and run away but James is infected with like whatever this weird poisoned demon poison thing is and then he I think enters the portal to that other dimension that he's connected to that like shadow world and he just leaves because as all like people who were possessed we're saying this has always been about him and they were like chanting his name and saying this has always been about James and he goes into this portal and it before he leaves he says it's about me it's always been about me I have no other choice what does that mean what is happening I have so many questions I have so many questions I still think that grace is behind all of this I have like about a hundred pages left so yeah we'll see we'll see what happens I I had to put the book down I literally I read one line and immediately just like physical whole body reaction just know just know James is in his bed recovering from basically nearly dying Jessie sacrificed his like last breath that he had basically his chance at life to save James which was beautiful wonderful we love Jessie he's waiting for Cordelia to show up because she's still recovering from her broken leg he gets a knock on his door saying that there's a lady coming to visit him and he's like Cordelia I'm Cornelia it's grace and grace is absolutely about to kiss him and somehow like use her mind control whatever powers to convince him to tell Cordelia that he doesn't love her or something I don't know something to break her heart but he's not gonna want to do but he's gonna have no choice cuz either he's gonna be like under her influence or she's gonna threaten him or something and it's gonna be miserable and I hate it I hate it I hate it I'm not here for it I'm not here I can't even read it I can't even finish reading it I literally I saw the line not Cordelia it's grace Blackthorne and I just like no no I know what I signed up for when I started reading this book so like I shouldn't be surprised and I'm like not I'm just so upset I don't want to finish this I can't even finish this scene I know it's coming I know I'm 100% right I know that's exactly what's about to happen and I hate it I hate it I hate it I was right and I hate it I hate it so much I hate this why can't they just be happy why can't they just be happy just be happy and of course Cordelia and Matthew walk in right as she kisses him and leaves like the like pain oh he's about to break Cordelia's heart and I I can't take this like his heart is broken and he doesn't even know it but Cordelia's hearts gonna be broken and she's gonna feel all of it and Kathy Claire I love you but also why why can't you just be happy listen the way that I need Cordelia to just like take Cortana and cut this bracelet off of James's wrist please please do it I know nobody knows that the bracelet is the thing that is like controlling him or whatever or part of this I don't know possession like someone please just please Cordelia just take Cortana cut the bracelet off his wrist and we'll be golden everything will be good everything will be fine if that's how like this Alton ends up happening like in the second book third book whenever whenever we have our happy ending I hope that that's what happens I hope she takes Cortana and cuts it off of his wrist James did not just ask Cordelia to marry him that did not just happen I can't even finish reading the rest of this page but not just happen what do you like absolute rollercoaster of emotions that I have been on for the past like two hours is insane yes and then she says but James you don't love me I mean he says no I don't we are done we are done with this but I am done with this book I'm literally about to like chuck this across the room I don't want to be here anymore hey I did not throw these emotions except I kind of did it but like I did it I hate it why is this painful because of like all the great stuff that happens with him like having his whole mask thing on again and just like not being himself and being in this trance essentially to like him asking her to marry him and then saying I don't love you though in Cordelia's poor heart just being completely broken oh I'm just like thinking about the amount of pain James is gonna be in when he comes out of this and realizes like what happened to him and what he's done like he's oh oh oh listen when I said at least we know that James and Cordelia get married this is not what I meant this is not what I meant this is not what I asked for No thank you please just take it all back take back the family treat take back this whole book take it all back I don't want it I should have stopped that for chapter 15 when they had their whole makeout scene I should have stopped I should just stop treating it this is not what I wanted all right so I have finished the book I'm gonna give my final thoughts on everything tomorrow when it's not the middle of the night and I'm more coherent and more just not emotionally wrecked but basically this book broke me it just broke me and I am devastated but yeah um I'll see you guys tomorrow with my actual final thoughts for now I'm just gonna go cry myself to sleep because that's all I can do so I woke up about 30 minutes ago or so graded the book on Goodreads cry a little bit more and now it's time to wrap up my thoughts I guess part of me just wants to read it all over again and the other part of me literally like wants to like lock it away somewhere and like never touch it again I'm mad I'm mad at this book I like I'm gonna hold this grudge for a little while I have a hard time being around her okay like she she hurt me the thing is I feel like I went into this expecting it to hurt me obviously it's the Cassandra Clare book all Cassandra Clare books caused me at least a little bit of pain and angst it's just inevitable but I think I was just expecting something lighter which is probably naive of me cuz like I shouldn't have done that it's that was stupid like I've read enough of her books to know especially when it's the characters I really care about you should never expect to be happy you should never expect them to not be tortured the entire time because that's what Cassie Claire loves to to her characters and boy did she do that in this one oh I'm so upset the other thing I was doing last night before I went to bed was looking at some of the questions that Santa Clara answered on her tumblr about the book cuz I could finally look at the spoiler ones and someone asked her a question about that family tree and she was saying like don't trust the family tree it's already betrayed you something along those lines and I was like well there goes that like I have I have nothing to go off of at this point like nothing to go off of I was basing all of my theories on that goddamn family tree I was like at least Cordelia and James get married and when I said that at the beginning this video that was not that was that's not what I meant this this is not what I meant that's not how I wanted them to get married and I am so upset I have never loved a book and yet been so mad at it at the same time like this this was great this was perfect in so many ways it delivered everything I wanted and everything I didn't want and I have to respect that my brain is still all over the place I thought last night was gonna be like too much for me to start talking about this cuz I was so overwhelmed but at this point like I woke up feeling like this was a fever dream and if I hadn't recorded my entire process of every single emotion I went through of reading this book I wouldn't have believed that I actually read it like it's just not real to me this was not a real experience so I guess so just kind of like sum up my thoughts on like the end of the book and everything else that happened that I didn't get to cover I'll kind of go through character by character cuz I feel like that's the simplest way to do it and also that way I can talk about my love for the characters because I feel like that's one of my biggest takeaways from this is just how much I love this whole cast of characters we're gonna start off with Cordelia James and Cordelia because I can't separate the two at the moment I feel like I spent a good majority of this entire video talking about James and Cordelia because like I'm sorry I love them I adore Cordelia I adore Cordelia with my entire heart Cordelia hands down is my favorite female character that Cassandra Clare has ever written like I love her I felt so seen I felt so represented in a way I have never felt before getting to see a character who is Persian who speaks Farsi who eats Persian food whose mother calls her by terms of endearment in Farsi like that I know like I talked about this earlier and it seems like kind of small but like to me that was not small at all to me that meant everything and I just like related so much to Cordelia not just because of those things like there was so much about her personality that I felt like was so different than a lot of the Cassie Claire characters that we've had in the past which is one of my favorite things that she does like every time rights like new main characters they're always so different from each other the characters don't feel like carbon copies of like the old main characters Clary is so different from Emma and is so different from Tess oh so different from Cordelia and I love that I love them all in their own individual ways but I love Cordelia and Cordelia's hands down the one I relate to the most her personality her approach to everything just her experience in life of being Persian and I think we'll probably get some more of it but kind of like feeling a bit disconnected from that part of herself because she's traveled so much around the world and she hasn't really been settled in a place just everything about her he's perfect I love her I love Cordelia Carstairs I want to be her I love her I can't explain how much her character means to me like I I get teary-eyed every single time I talk about it every single time I think about it I love Cordelia I cannot believe that like I had this if that makes sense like this book feels so personal to me because of that obviously the part where she like killed Belial I was like she killed Belial but obviously we know he's a prince of Hell he's not dead like the dudes not gonna die and of course he comes back at the very end and he has told plan with Tatiana which gonna take us a year to figure out what that is or probably more she's not gonna tell us in the second book for sure her love for James murders me I was just so absolutely devastated during that proposal scene well first when she was like James didn't burn down the blackthorn Manor because he was in my bed the whole night I was like she is a bad I loved her and then the proposal scene happens and I was like I can't take this like she's so heartbroken she's so devastated I'm so heartbroken and devastated like this is the most heartbreak I've ever experienced I just still can't believe she says but James you don't love me and he's like no I don't you don't love me either and I was just like what is this what is this I didn't ask for this pain I didn't ask for this pain and then of course we've got James who like you saw the clips of me freaking out about it but like I can't believe the amount of like suffering this poor boy has had to go through and he doesn't even like know that's the worst part of it he has no idea he's under some kind of spell or he's being controlled or whatever like he has no idea that any of this is happening and he's gonna wake up from this have that bracelet cut off whatever ends up happening he's gonna get out of this cuz there's no way he doesn't get out of this they need to be happy okay I refuse to not let them be happy I don't know what I'm gonna do but I will do something to make sure that they are happy but however it happens he is gonna come out of it and then he's just gonna be devastated because he's gonna realize that he broke the heart of the girl that he loves without even knowing that that was happening like oh my god James hair nails my hair nails will never never stop hair nails just won't let me live like they will never stop hurting me this way I have been reading these books since I was 12 years old and every year since then a Herondale has broken my heart like flat-out that just like constantly happens and I hate them for it but I love them another aspect of this story that I actually really really loved which took me by surprise cuz I didn't think I would like this so much was actually like the group dynamic like this friend group this squad whatever you want to call them is really incredible the group is a bit bigger than some of the other ones that we've had in other books the friendships in this one were different like James and Matthew and Thomas and Christopher like they're already a core group of like good friends who went to the Shadowhunter Academy together so they have this like established bond and then of course we have Cordelia and Lucy who are very close to one another and then Anna and Alastair and like this whole group is just so incredible like I just loved their dynamic I loved that it was kind of already an established relationship like they all had established relationships that we came into it was different than other ones where characters are just being introduced to each other and they don't know anything about each other I think that made it easier for me to like the characters more quickly too because I felt like we needed less time to be introduced to them because let me already have an established relationship it kind of feels like you are already a part of it and there's no need for like those introductions and I prefer that sometimes so that's one thing I really really liked about this the other thing I really loved about this as well was the plot I felt like it was actually very similar in my opinion to clockwork angels I feel like people complain about Clockwork Angel a lot of time and say that it's more like simple compared to a lot of the other Mortal Instruments books but personally I just think that it's not over complicated honestly sometimes I think the other Shadowhunter books get a bit too over complicated and it can become like crowded the story feels a little bit crowded for me like that's how I felt about the dark artifices personally but with the Infernal Devices and with this one especially I felt like there was so much going on like there was a lot going on in this story plot wise but at the same time it felt very clean and I really really liked that about it like there was so much space for the characters to just be there and be themselves and develop and grow which I really appreciated because the plot didn't feel like it was overpowering them the end did get like a bit chaotic like what else do we expect from the end of the Cassie Clare book that like always happens and it made sense story wise but yeah that's another thing that I think I really really loved about this and then of course we've got to talk about Lucy and Jesse because he's still alive and Belial obviously has some kind of like weird plan for him Belial and Tatiana apparently something super important about him I still don't trust that like last breath or whatever that he gave to James because there was dark magic that was used to create that to put James in this like place between like life and death so he's not fully a ghost but he's also not fully alive and I feel like there was so much dark magic there that giving that to James wouldn't be necessarily a good thing I don't think Jessie's bad I think he's actually not involved in any of this but I think it's against his will if he is I just don't trust it because there's definitely some dark magic going on with that and I feel like that might be a thing that comes back up I could be completely wrong because who knows what she's gonna end up doing but I have a feeling that it might be a thing it might be a thing we need to be worried about as for the other characters I am so happy that Magnus Bane made an appearance the love of my life I'm so happy he's gonna read in the next book and I think he's gonna be in the last one as well I also absolutely adore Anna Lightwood I love Christopher and Thomas I even loved Alistair at this point Alistair is one of those characters that like started out kind of like iffy for me I was super suspicious of him I was like I don't trust you something feels off but then he grew on me so so much as the book went on and I can't wait to like learn more about him I will we'll say the only character I still hate is Grace I hate grace can't trust her I have a feeling she's gonna have some kind of a Redemption all right like we're gonna find something out where it's gonna be like oh she's also somehow being controlled or she really doesn't have a choice and I'm still so confused about what her actual feelings about James are like I don't think she actually loves him but I don't think she hates him and wants him to suffer so I'm very confused I feel like the only person she actually cares about is Jessie but I don't know I'm still super suspicious of her don't trust her don't like her still think she might be evil but we shall see I have not forgiven her for anything she's done in this book and I will forever be upset until we find out what's actually going on and we get some answers because I need answers I just desperately need answers but yeah I think that pretty much sums up most of my thoughts on chain of gold by Cassandra Clare as for my star rating I am giving this book a 5 out of 5 stars I don't think I could give anything less than that based on the sheer amount of different emotions this book made me experience it deserves five stars the thing I don't understand is that this is the first book in the series like this is gonna be a trilogy and this is book one yet this book has series finale energy like I would put this on par with clockwork princess for the amount of emotional turmoil that it put me through and if it's only the first book like where are we gonna go from here I don't even want to know look I'm too afraid how is it that the first book made me feel this much pain and what does that mean for the future books like how much are we gonna suffer I don't want to know like I just I can't read these anymore I quit like I just I can't read them I can't read the rest of this series I refuse I quit I'm never reading another book again truly though in all seriousness I love this book I absolutely love it it is hands-down one of my favorite Cassandra Clare books it's God Tyr if I were to rank them it's up there with clockwork princess and clockwork Prince and clockwork angel for me I have a feeling that once this series concludes it could surpass the original Infernal Devices trilogy for me that might be a stretch we have to see where it goes we have to see how much more heartbreak I can take and how much of a happy ending we get because I have doubts about that but it is absolutely up there like this is already my second-favorite Cassandra Clare series I don't want to wait for train of iron but honestly I am kind of happy that I have to wait because I haven't forgiven this book and I don't think I will for a while so I think I'm gonna need that year to just like recover and get over this and then I'll be okay to read the next one cuz I don't think I could take more of this right now I really don't but I hope you all enjoyed watching this vlog I hope you had a good time coming along with me on this journey of just pure emotion and heartbreak in pain if you have any thoughts on train of gold whatsoever please leave them in the comments down below I would love to discuss it with you I'm gonna take a bit of a break edit this video I think by the time that you guys finally see this and this is up I'll be ready enough to actually talk about it with other people so we have please do let me know any of your thoughts and emotions and feelings that you have about chain of gold if there are any theories or anything that you have I would love to hear them I love just talking about theories I feel like there were a ton of things that were probably hinted at here that just completely went over my head cuz I was too emotional about everything else that was going on so yeah I would love to discuss any theories any feelings and emotions with you all so please do let me know your thoughts but thank you all so much for watching this video I truly hope that you enjoyed it if you would like to follow me on any of my social media all of my links are in the description box as always but thank you all so much for watching I love you all so much and I will see you in my next video bye\n"