**The Epic Saga: A Judge's Desperate Plea**

In a bizarre turn of events, a judge has taken to YouTube to plead their case for a massive increase in subscribers. The judge, who remains nameless due to their embarrassment over this situation, began by saying "I'm going epic on you, I'm going epic on you." It appears that the judge is trying to garner attention and sympathy from the audience, but so far, their efforts have fallen flat.

The judge then launched into a rambling speech about how they based their decision on love and sarcasm. They claimed that "Epic" was inspired by these two emotions, which doesn't quite make sense in the context of the situation. The judge's words were laced with desperation, as they pleaded with the audience to subscribe to their channel.

In a desperate bid to garner attention, the judge brought up quick bits, a popular segment on YouTube that showcases bite-sized pieces of information or entertainment. The judge claimed that these quick bits would be brought to them by "Paper Legs," a cleaning kit designed to remove dust, grime, and skin oils from screens. The kit is marketed as portable and compatible with skinny jeans, and comes with five refill pellets.

The judge then switched gears to discuss Intel's recent announcement of a new naming scheme for their core processors. It appears that the company has abandoned its traditional naming convention in favor of a more streamlined approach. The judge expressed skepticism about this change, warning that it could lead to confusion among consumers.

However, the real story here is Intel's new flagship mobile processor, the "Density 9300." This chip boasts four big cores and four ultra-large cores, which is significantly different from previous designs. According to Intel, this configuration will result in a 15% increase in single-core performance, a 40% increase in multi-core performance, and a 30% improvement in efficiency over its predecessor.

**A New Era in AI**

In a separate development, Xbox has announced a partnership with Inworld AI, a company specializing in AI character engines. This technology allows for the creation of multimodal characters that can react to speech and visuals in games. The partnership aims to build a multi-platform AI tool set for games, which will include an AI co-pilot to assist with development and an AI character runtime engine.

This news has raised eyebrows among gamers and developers alike, who are eager to see how this technology will be implemented in real-world applications. One question on everyone's mind is how many "co-pilots" a single game can have before it becomes too much like a crew member? The answer remains to be seen, but one thing is certain: AI is revolutionizing the gaming industry.

**Western Digital's Split**

In a surprising move, Western Digital has announced that they will be splitting their flash and hard drive businesses into two independent companies. This decision comes after the company's flash segment suffered from demand shortages, which are essentially another way of saying "no one wants it." Despite this setback, Western Digital is increasing its stock prices by 10%.

However, there has been no word on how this will affect alimony payments to contractors who worked on the Apes Fest board, a popular NFT event in Hong Kong. The event attendees reported severe eye pain, visual impairment, and skin damage similar to sunburns after the event, which was allegedly caused by ultraviolet lights instead of stage lights.

The organizers claimed that only 1% of attendees were affected, but this claim has been met with skepticism from an ophthalmologist who spoke out against the incident. The doctor expressed outrage over the use of ultraviolet light directly into people's faces and destroying their corneas. Despite the risks, the event organizer seems to have gotten away scot-free, leaving many to wonder if they will be facing any consequences for their actions.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enah another week another tech news say that reminds me of a song I learned in comai flip the switch and turn it off Elon musk's AI company called what else xai has unveiled grock a competitor to open ai's chat gbt with realtime access to all posts on X formerly Twitter now that access turned Microsoft's Tay chatbot into a racist psychopath back in 2016 but that doesn't matter it's musk time grock is named after science fiction writer Robert a heinlin neologism meaning to understand intuitively or by empathy so naturally according to Elon grock is based and loves sarcasm xai's announcement on their site pleads with you not to use it if you hate humor like the kind of rafflecopter fuel found in its answers to what the company calls spicy questions like tell me how to make cocaine after all grock's mission is to help understand the universe and the universe entails all possible fake cocaine recipes xai says that despite being trained in a couple months on only 33 billion parameters grock performs better than meta's llama 2 and open ai's GPT 3.5 that's not the current version but the older version in a number of benchmarks but you won't be able to verify that right now unless you're verified on X and you get into the Early Access program those people must be laughing so hard now yes it's true that Elon joined multiple calls from experts to pause AI development for the safety of humanity but as he explained back in June he quote didn't think anyone would actually agree to the pause see we absolutely cannot tip over ice cream trucks and slurp everything up inside for free we cannot or we do we're doing we're doing this this is wrong unless everyone else is doing it it which case it's fine then we'll see speaking of AI open AI proved they're a real Tech Giant by holding their first Dev Day event this morning after licking the air like a lizard for some reason CEO Sam Alman made a few fairly big announcements first off the company introduced what they're calling gpts Custom versions of chat GPT built for specific purposes that can be built shared and sold on the GPT store don't call them apps do not call them that Sam says he's still figuring out how Revenue sharing will work but we do know building your own GPT won't require any coding knowledge you can build gpts using GPT like parents editing their embryos genes so the eventual child never disappoints them open AI also announced gp4 Turbo with a massive 128k context window meaning it could accept prompts up to 300 pages long an assistance API to help developers make series that don't suck price decreases across the board and perhaps most interesting to me copyright Shield a commitment to pay legal costs for open aai customers who get sued for copyright infringement over AI generated Works similar promises are made by IBM Microsoft Adobe and more at the same time that some of those same companies are trying to make sure copyright holders aren't screwed over by generative AI which is now so pervasive you can use it in freaking Microsoft Paint honestly I don't care if Lil Mato didn't know what he was generating on the family computer he's going to jail Google went to court today to defend itself from epic games who accused Google of anti-competitive behavior concerning the Play Store way back in August 2020 after 3 years of dramatic tension I can only hope this ends in a passionate make out but we'll see if this sounds familiar it's because epic went through this whole song and dance with apple already only to pretty much lose and if you have no idea what I'm talking about I made a tech longer on it just just save that for later epic games may have a slightly stronger case with Google though as there's loads of evidence Google has gone out of their way to wall off their supposedly Open Garden but I don't know Google did publish a blog post on Thursday essentially explaining how they're actually right and they definitely don't make deals with companies to stop epic's attempts to compete with the Play Store so it's right it's it's right there on the other hand another thing that might help epic get what it wants is once again leveraging the power of Gamers fortnite re-released the original Island map on the weekend breaking its own records for concurrent players we need those guys on Deck again to flood the trials call-in line once more and implore the judge to subscribe to their YouTube channels it's the only way your honor I based you don't get it judge epic is based on love sarcasm now it's time for quick bits brought to you by paper legs cleaning kit designed to remove dust Grime and skin oils from your disgusting screens take the kit on the go its new thinner design is compatible with the skinniest of skinny jeans even if healthy blood circulation isn't paper leg has also improved the spray head and redesign the hard shell case so the bottle slides into either end making reassembly effortless and they include five refill pellets with every purchase just fill the empty spray bottle with water add a pellet and wait 10 minutes perhaps you can use that time to change into pants that let blood reach your feet get your paperlike cleaning kit today at the link below my family has been using the same quick recipe since 1964 except we took out all the ASB bestas and Lead we did we did take it out right it'll stick to your ribs it's good good for you and your lungs Intel announced a while back that they were changing the naming scheme for their core processors and now leaks have given us a taste of how much getting used to that is going to suck leaker momomo us posted benchmarks from Crossmark on Twitter I'll still call it that sometimes showing chips with names like Intel Core Ultra 915h which is thought to be the flagship notebook chip in the meteor Lake family but don't get that confused with the Intel Core Ultra 150u which is part of the Raptor Lake U family refresh both chips are part of what Intel is now calling first gen core after after the 14th gen released and while I might agree that having less digits in the name is better I'm hoping this doesn't become a Xbox One 1 x series X situation just please be better Intel Media Tech has announced its new flagship mobile processor the density 9300 or as I like to call it the density 9300 because unlike other chips that use a combination of big performance cores and smaller efficiency cores the dimenson 9300 will only use four big cores and four Ultra large cores for its processor chunky though it may be mediatech still claims a 15% increase in single core performance a 40% increase in multi-core performance and 30 3% greater efficiency over its predecessor the dimensity 9200 the idea is to allow more AI processing to stay on the chip rather than the cloud in which case bigger might just be better oh Lord he coming Oh Lordy Corin Xbox has announced a multi-year partnership with inworld AI a company with an AI character engine they claim makes multimodal characters meaning they can react to your speech and to visuals in game the two companies plan to build a multi-platform AI tool set for games that will include shocker an AI co-pilot to assist with development and an AI character runtime engine that will allow you to import AI characters into any game client from Unreal Engine 5 to Roblox is it also called co-pilot 365 cuz I've had enough how many co-pilots can you have until they're just crew members we're all piloting together now developers of all ages can hire the worst voice actors for their games Western Digital is splitting up their Flash and hard drive businesses into two independent companies but that doesn't mean they love you any less than they did before yeah because they didn't love you before they've always hated you just a number it seems that Western digital's flash company has been suffering from demand shortage which is a funny way of saying no one wants it and since they couldn't get kokia to give them a place to stay and regular business WD is kicking out their two time and Flash segment and increasing their own stock prices by 10% for the trouble however there has been no word on how this will affect alimony payments attendees at ape Fest the board ape Yacht Club's annual nft event in Hong Kong reported severe eye pain visual impairment and skin damage similar to sunburns after the event while it's tempting to assume that Zeus Almighty finally did something about crypto this parallels a previous incident in Hong Kong in 2017 where contractors installed disinfecting UV lights instead of stage lights leading to an effect similar to staring into the sun organizers claimed that fewer than 1% of attendees were affected only to get roasted by an opthalmologist for blasting ultraviolet light directly into people's faces and destroying their corneas don't worry Apes the doctor says it'll grow back you can look at more stupid variations of the same image in the future and we promise fewer than 0.1% of you will be blinded if you come back on Wednesday for more Tech news that hey those are pretty good odds I mean not every channel can say thatah another week another tech news say that reminds me of a song I learned in comai flip the switch and turn it off Elon musk's AI company called what else xai has unveiled grock a competitor to open ai's chat gbt with realtime access to all posts on X formerly Twitter now that access turned Microsoft's Tay chatbot into a racist psychopath back in 2016 but that doesn't matter it's musk time grock is named after science fiction writer Robert a heinlin neologism meaning to understand intuitively or by empathy so naturally according to Elon grock is based and loves sarcasm xai's announcement on their site pleads with you not to use it if you hate humor like the kind of rafflecopter fuel found in its answers to what the company calls spicy questions like tell me how to make cocaine after all grock's mission is to help understand the universe and the universe entails all possible fake cocaine recipes xai says that despite being trained in a couple months on only 33 billion parameters grock performs better than meta's llama 2 and open ai's GPT 3.5 that's not the current version but the older version in a number of benchmarks but you won't be able to verify that right now unless you're verified on X and you get into the Early Access program those people must be laughing so hard now yes it's true that Elon joined multiple calls from experts to pause AI development for the safety of humanity but as he explained back in June he quote didn't think anyone would actually agree to the pause see we absolutely cannot tip over ice cream trucks and slurp everything up inside for free we cannot or we do we're doing we're doing this this is wrong unless everyone else is doing it it which case it's fine then we'll see speaking of AI open AI proved they're a real Tech Giant by holding their first Dev Day event this morning after licking the air like a lizard for some reason CEO Sam Alman made a few fairly big announcements first off the company introduced what they're calling gpts Custom versions of chat GPT built for specific purposes that can be built shared and sold on the GPT store don't call them apps do not call them that Sam says he's still figuring out how Revenue sharing will work but we do know building your own GPT won't require any coding knowledge you can build gpts using GPT like parents editing their embryos genes so the eventual child never disappoints them open AI also announced gp4 Turbo with a massive 128k context window meaning it could accept prompts up to 300 pages long an assistance API to help developers make series that don't suck price decreases across the board and perhaps most interesting to me copyright Shield a commitment to pay legal costs for open aai customers who get sued for copyright infringement over AI generated Works similar promises are made by IBM Microsoft Adobe and more at the same time that some of those same companies are trying to make sure copyright holders aren't screwed over by generative AI which is now so pervasive you can use it in freaking Microsoft Paint honestly I don't care if Lil Mato didn't know what he was generating on the family computer he's going to jail Google went to court today to defend itself from epic games who accused Google of anti-competitive behavior concerning the Play Store way back in August 2020 after 3 years of dramatic tension I can only hope this ends in a passionate make out but we'll see if this sounds familiar it's because epic went through this whole song and dance with apple already only to pretty much lose and if you have no idea what I'm talking about I made a tech longer on it just just save that for later epic games may have a slightly stronger case with Google though as there's loads of evidence Google has gone out of their way to wall off their supposedly Open Garden but I don't know Google did publish a blog post on Thursday essentially explaining how they're actually right and they definitely don't make deals with companies to stop epic's attempts to compete with the Play Store so it's right it's it's right there on the other hand another thing that might help epic get what it wants is once again leveraging the power of Gamers fortnite re-released the original Island map on the weekend breaking its own records for concurrent players we need those guys on Deck again to flood the trials call-in line once more and implore the judge to subscribe to their YouTube channels it's the only way your honor I based you don't get it judge epic is based on love sarcasm now it's time for quick bits brought to you by paper legs cleaning kit designed to remove dust Grime and skin oils from your disgusting screens take the kit on the go its new thinner design is compatible with the skinniest of skinny jeans even if healthy blood circulation isn't paper leg has also improved the spray head and redesign the hard shell case so the bottle slides into either end making reassembly effortless and they include five refill pellets with every purchase just fill the empty spray bottle with water add a pellet and wait 10 minutes perhaps you can use that time to change into pants that let blood reach your feet get your paperlike cleaning kit today at the link below my family has been using the same quick recipe since 1964 except we took out all the ASB bestas and Lead we did we did take it out right it'll stick to your ribs it's good good for you and your lungs Intel announced a while back that they were changing the naming scheme for their core processors and now leaks have given us a taste of how much getting used to that is going to suck leaker momomo us posted benchmarks from Crossmark on Twitter I'll still call it that sometimes showing chips with names like Intel Core Ultra 915h which is thought to be the flagship notebook chip in the meteor Lake family but don't get that confused with the Intel Core Ultra 150u which is part of the Raptor Lake U family refresh both chips are part of what Intel is now calling first gen core after after the 14th gen released and while I might agree that having less digits in the name is better I'm hoping this doesn't become a Xbox One 1 x series X situation just please be better Intel Media Tech has announced its new flagship mobile processor the density 9300 or as I like to call it the density 9300 because unlike other chips that use a combination of big performance cores and smaller efficiency cores the dimenson 9300 will only use four big cores and four Ultra large cores for its processor chunky though it may be mediatech still claims a 15% increase in single core performance a 40% increase in multi-core performance and 30 3% greater efficiency over its predecessor the dimensity 9200 the idea is to allow more AI processing to stay on the chip rather than the cloud in which case bigger might just be better oh Lord he coming Oh Lordy Corin Xbox has announced a multi-year partnership with inworld AI a company with an AI character engine they claim makes multimodal characters meaning they can react to your speech and to visuals in game the two companies plan to build a multi-platform AI tool set for games that will include shocker an AI co-pilot to assist with development and an AI character runtime engine that will allow you to import AI characters into any game client from Unreal Engine 5 to Roblox is it also called co-pilot 365 cuz I've had enough how many co-pilots can you have until they're just crew members we're all piloting together now developers of all ages can hire the worst voice actors for their games Western Digital is splitting up their Flash and hard drive businesses into two independent companies but that doesn't mean they love you any less than they did before yeah because they didn't love you before they've always hated you just a number it seems that Western digital's flash company has been suffering from demand shortage which is a funny way of saying no one wants it and since they couldn't get kokia to give them a place to stay and regular business WD is kicking out their two time and Flash segment and increasing their own stock prices by 10% for the trouble however there has been no word on how this will affect alimony payments attendees at ape Fest the board ape Yacht Club's annual nft event in Hong Kong reported severe eye pain visual impairment and skin damage similar to sunburns after the event while it's tempting to assume that Zeus Almighty finally did something about crypto this parallels a previous incident in Hong Kong in 2017 where contractors installed disinfecting UV lights instead of stage lights leading to an effect similar to staring into the sun organizers claimed that fewer than 1% of attendees were affected only to get roasted by an opthalmologist for blasting ultraviolet light directly into people's faces and destroying their corneas don't worry Apes the doctor says it'll grow back you can look at more stupid variations of the same image in the future and we promise fewer than 0.1% of you will be blinded if you come back on Wednesday for more Tech news that hey those are pretty good odds I mean not every channel can say that\n"