The Struggle is Real: Writer's Block and Its Many Forms

As I sat at my desk, staring blankly at my computer screen, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the prospect of writing. The words that were supposed to flow so easily seemed to be stuck in a rut, refusing to budge no matter how hard I tried. It was as if my brain had turned to mush, and all I could think about was writer's block - the eternal nemesis of any writer worth their salt.

I began to scroll through my Spotify playlists, searching for inspiration. But instead of finding solace in the familiar sounds of Stephanie Perkins' curated lists, I found myself deleting them en masse, determined to start fresh with new playlists and characters. It was a moment of sheer madness, driven by a desire to escape the monotony of my writing routine.

But as I sat there, fingers hovering over the keyboard, I realized that I had made another crucial mistake. The writer's block app on my computer screen seemed to be laughing at me, taunting me with its cold, unforgiving gaze. "Hit 750 words," it seemed to say, its digital voice dripping with disdain. I felt like a cheater, a fake, and I couldn't bear the thought of facing that screen again.

In a moment of desperation, I sprinted out of my room, leaving behind the weight of my writer's block. But as I emerged back into the world, I was confronted by an even greater challenge - homework. The thought of tackling those tedious assignments seemed like a cruel joke, and for a moment, I felt like giving up altogether.

But something inside me stirred, a spark of determination that refused to be extinguished. I took out my notebook and began to brainstorm, jotting down notes about the big plot points that I wanted to hit in my story. It was a slow and painful process, but eventually, the ideas began to flow. And as I sat there, scribbling away at my desk, I felt a sense of peace wash over me.

As the hours ticked by, I found myself getting lost in the world of my story, forgetting about the writer's block that had plagued me for so long. The music played on, a constant background hum that seemed to match the beat of my heart. And as I wrote, the words began to flow, pouring out onto the page like water from a fountain.

But just as I thought I was getting into the zone, disaster struck. My brain fart, that infamous phenomenon where all creativity seems to leave the building, reared its ugly head. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving me staring blankly at my computer screen once more. It was as if the very fabric of reality had been torn apart, and I was left standing in a desolate wasteland, staring into the void.

And then, just when all hope seemed lost, it clicked. The music seemed to swell, the notes resonating deep within my soul. The words began to flow once more, pouring out onto the page like water from a fountain. It was as if I had finally tapped into a deeper source of creativity, one that would carry me through even the darkest of times.

As I sat there, typing away at my computer, I felt a sense of pride and accomplishment wash over me. I had done it - I had overcome writer's block, and emerged victorious on the other side. And as I looked back on the journey that had brought me to this point, I realized that it was all worth it. The struggles, the frustrations, the moments of sheer despair - they had all been worth it for this moment, this feeling of triumph and creation.

And so, with a sense of satisfaction, I hit the final keystroke, my 200 words flowing onto the page like water from a fountain. It was done. I had written. And as I saved the document, closed my laptop, and stood up to stretch, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. The writer's block was gone, and all that was left was the quiet satisfaction of a job well done.

The Bird That Started it All

But before I could bask in the glory of my triumph, I realized that I had forgotten one crucial thing - the bird. Yes, you read that right. The bird. It was perched on the windowsill, looking at me with an air of disinterest, as if to say "so what's the big deal? You think you're so special, don't you?"

I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. Who would have thought that a simple bird could bring such drama into my life? But as I looked around my room, I realized that the bird was not just any ordinary bird. It was a symbol of writer's block, a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there is always hope.

The Desk

As I sat at my desk, surrounded by the familiar sights and sounds of my writing space, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia wash over me. This was where it all began - this was where my story started, where the words first flowed onto the page.

And as I looked around my room, I realized that the desk was more than just a piece of furniture. It was a symbol of creativity, of imagination, of the boundless possibilities that lay within me. It was where I had spent countless hours pouring my heart and soul into my writing, where I had created worlds and characters that would one day come to life.

The Music

But as I sat there, surrounded by the silence of my room, I realized that it wasn't just the music that was playing on repeat. It was the sound of my own heart beating in time with the rhythm of my writing. It was the beat of my soul, pulsing through every word, every sentence, and every line.

And as I listened to the music, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. The words began to flow once more, pouring out onto the page like water from a fountain. It was as if I had finally tapped into a deeper source of creativity, one that would carry me through even the darkest of times.

The Writer's Block App

But just as I thought I had overcome writer's block, it reared its ugly head once more. The app on my computer screen seemed to loom over me, taunting me with its cold, unforgiving gaze. "Hit 750 words," it seemed to say, its digital voice dripping with disdain.

And so the struggle continued, a never-ending cycle of writer's block and triumph. But as I sat there, staring at the screen, I realized that it wasn't just about the words on the page. It was about the journey itself - the struggles, the frustrations, the moments of sheer despair.

It was about finding a way to overcome, to push through even when all seemed lost. And as I looked back on my journey, I realized that it had been worth it. The writer's block was gone, and all that was left was the quiet satisfaction of a job well done.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enhey youtube it's Zoey or read by Zoey and I am starting this little vlog series for the next month because I am partaking in the camp NaNoWriMo a couple of videos ago I was asked if I ever wanted to be an author or write a book and I said I was not going to say no I wasn't going to dismiss the idea but at that moment I didn't have any plans to write anything because I had no grand idea but guess what happened on Monday I got that grand idea if you don't follow me on snapchat or Twitter which by the way you should hahaha I'm gonna leave my links down below basically all my social media is at read by Zoey so it's all really easy I was having a hangar in for a cookies and cream milkshake from chick-fil-a the chick-fil-a is always super crowded I don't know why the drive-thru line will be like 15 minutes long it will be backed up and like circle around the building I wasn't in the music mood so I was literally sitting in silence in my car for like 15 minutes and I got this idea for a bug no one's written this particular story before maybe I should write it oh I should write a book oh my gosh I already know what the main character's name is going to be and this whole situation idea after idea when I came back to my apartment with my milkshake in my hand which was delicious by the way I immediately started outlining putting all of my notes onto my computer and figuring out some more things and I was also talking to my friend from study abroad named Jana who does a lot of work on Wattpad and she writes a lot so I was asking her for some writer tips and she was really really helpful then she said hey do you want to join me in camp NaNoWriMo I had never heard of camp NaNoWriMo before I've heard of NaNoWriMo obviously because it's such like a big thing so many people partake in it but I hadn't heard of camp NaNoWriMo which is basically a more subdued version of NaNoWriMo it is in the summer there are two different sessions there is the one in April which is this month and another one in July and you create your own goal you don't have to write 50,000 words so this came at the perfect time I was already in the midst of outlining my novel I had so many ideas and now I can start writing the novel I have so much outlining I am a super planner I didn't know this about myself I knew that I was organized and I liked thinking things through and I liked planning and all of that but I didn't think I enjoyed planning to such an extent I have made Pinterest boards I've never used Pinterest before but then I started using it for this project I was on baby names calm for so long baby names calm is so much fun I used it even like for my sims characters I've used it for so many years I have written so many notes I'm not going to show you any of my islands because I want to keep my idea pretty like on the DL so many different I don't want to show you it so many different pages of notes and I have way more notes on my computer I have entire character analysis analyses and now I don't know it's late right now all the main characters I have their bio I have what they look like their physical description and what clothes they wear I have their personality descriptions and I even put what Hogwarts house each of them would be in because I don't know and I found their personality type online like the sixteen different personality is like entp all of my outlines not counting these because I don't know how many words I have in this notebook but all of my actual files is more than six thousand words of outlining and I just started a couple of days ago it's insane I've been obsessed but it's like the best obsession I don't want to tell you the name of my story but I'm calling it by a code name which is Project milkshake so if you see that on Twitter any of my social media project milkshake it is this story that I'm talking about but it that is not the official title so don't think that like it's gonna be like a book called Project milkshake because that would be oh I mean it could work but not for my book my book I can tell you is going to be a y8 temporary romance finding yourself type story set in the summer and you know other things happen they all started with a milkshake a delicious cookies and cream milkshake so there are going to be milkshakes in it I've rambled on a bunch I think mostly because right now it is 11:30 7:00 p.m. and camp NaNoWriMo is going to start at midnight I know a few of you will probably ask in the comments if I'm planning on publishing this if that is like my end goal but at this point I'm just writing this story for me because I've never tried to write a novel before so this story is basically me trying to find my own writing voice and get comfortable with it I really like the story though so maybe when I get more comfortable with writing and I get more experienced I can come back to this story and I can work it up and maybe try to publish it if I really like it it might turn out to be terrible but you know it's all about experience it's all about trying new things I'm going to write with a few of my friends who are in different time zones and I don't know how long I'm going to write tonight because I'm so tired I'm gonna make some coffee duh I have acquired the coffee which is as you can see this is the Moga thing that I have made for like the last year I really want to drink this right now which I'm so tired but of course cure eggs always make the coffee at like 5,000 degrees you have to wait ten more minutes until I can start writing and then my coffee will be cool enough let's get pumped guys should we have a dance party to get pumped up for this I am sufficiently pumped up now and guess what Oh No the coffee is still but it is now officially - well the a.m. I am ready so ready I'm so excited to just try this thing and guess what coffee still hot I'm going to write my prologue it is now 1:40 a.m. and I have just written 1028 words I wasn't even writing like for that entire hour and 40 minutes I was probably like actual writing time writing for like an hour because I'm a really distracted person so I was like checking Twitter and like looking at all of the NaNoWriMo Sprint's and stuff like that so I did get pretty distracted and I was like looking at my outline and like kind of fixing it around but that's not bad I was definitely editing myself as I was going I need to break out of that habit because I know that especially for your first draft you just should mostly try to get all of your thoughts out and not really care about the wording obviously the wording is important because it is a book and that's all words but this is more about like getting your ideas out and now it's like Friday morning I have closed at 9:30 so probably I should go to bed soon hey YouTube so right now it is 103 a.m. on technically April 3rd but I'm going to count this as my day to update just because I started writing on day 2 which was a couple of hours ago at 10:45 p.m. and so I didn't want to do an update until after I had written something because I hadn't written since my last update April 1st was my dad's birthday so I came home for the weekend that's why I'm in a new location I brought my computer home just for the weekend to do some work on and stuff like that but I am at home right now I also had some car trouble and it's just been a very hectic for the past few days over the past couple of hours I have written 1,024 words my goal was not 50,000 words that was just the ideal amount that I would hit but my goal actually is 25,000 words because this month is going to be so crazy it is the end of my school year so I'm going to have finals so if we say that I'm doing pretty well right now I'm watching Jesse's vlog she's talking about her camp NaNoWriMo stuff so I'm watching that but that's one of the big problems that I've been having yesterday and today the two days that I have done NaNoWriMo um I am so distracted I think it's just because I haven't tried to write a novel before so I'm trying to like look up tips and I'm like looking at other people's progress and stuff like that so both that is me trying to get inspiration but also I'm getting distracted and I'm not writing because I'm looking for inspiration i dumb since my last update I have changed my plot for my story around a lot was planning on doing a different type of contemporary book they're still gonna be submissions in it but I'm trying to make this more funny this month when I have finals and I'm just going to be very busy and blah I wanted to do something a little bit finer and light-hearted basis of the story I feel like is the same but I've changed like character names actually have changed a lot so it's basically like I'm doing a new story I think that's another reason why I'm writing so slowly is because I decided to change my entire story idea last minute I spent that like entire week developing the first story and then I'm like huh nah let's change it all let's just scrap all the work that I did and just redo it so I haven't gotten a lot of writing done but I have made an entire new story I did take a fiction writing class last year but we were given a prompt to write about and it was so much easier because you knew what you had to do I knew what my end result had to be I knew the word count that I had to reach this is so much responsibility but also that's really fun because I can just make up the entire story I can make someone like an evil murderer when they at first seemed like they were some nice purse even though it's not going to be my story there's not going to be any murder in my story but I could I could write a murder if I wanted to also something that I learned about like an hour ago from yes II actually on Twitter is this app called where is it no it's not called where is it it's called writer's block and it is so helpful for distracted people like me I will go and seek out distraction like I've talked about but this blocks everything on your computer until either you have written a total amount of words like you can put your goal of words to be like a thousand or something like that and it will block everything on your computer until you've reached that amount which I didn't do that one I did instead minutes from now I blocked everything for like 30 minutes and all I could do was write and it was that's how I got most of my words tonight was from this application it's so helpful I think I'm going to use it from now on it's already 1:00 a.m. and I should probably go to bed soon it is the end of day 3 it is 11:30 p.m. if you're wondering I just got out of the shower and this is what happens ladies and gentlemen what I don't put anything in my hair and don't brush it and don't do anything to it this is its natural state I look like I'm a lion but whatever we're here to talk about writing today I hit four thousand five hundred and seventy words and I'm not done writing I think after I do this update I'm going to write maybe like 400 more words I think I want to hit five thousand today I don't know what happened today I just got in such a writing mood I think one of the things that I learned today was how to word vomit how to just write all of my thoughts down and keep the editing to a minimum finally switching from the academic writing mode when I have to edit myself and make sure I sound okay to more of like the this is a first draft it's okay to be sucky this is creative writing for myself type mode because all the creative writing that I've done so far I did it for school and I don't tend to it my stuff after I do a first draft I tend to just do a first draft and then send it in so I only have that first draft and I edit myself as I go but this is different this is supposed to have several drafts and I'm just supposed to get all of my ideas out and it's okay if it's not good the first draft all of these vlogs are made rambling also I've done all my writing today on writer's block so I have not been distracted I have just been forced to sit in front of my computer at a blank screen and type I also decided to go back to my original story idea the one that I was writing on day one yesterday I just had this crisis where I was like no I can't write my original story idea I have to make it funny or I don't I don't know what was happening yesterday but I felt like so constricted by having to stay with the story that I had been out letting the entire week before today I was right hate my new story idea and I just realized that it was totally underdeveloped I didn't know where the story was going to go I didn't really understand the characters yet and I like the story idea I think I'm going to write it eventually but I'm definitely going to have to do some more outlining especially when the story that I'm working on right now has so much outlining I know where the story is going to go I know the characters so well and I feel really comfortable writing it I'm definitely trying to keep a positive attitude throughout this entire thing I was getting a little dejected yesterday and that's when I had that really premature crisis and like oh I'm a terrible writer I bet these authors who are published their first draft isn't as bad as mine but I have to keep a perspective on this this is my first novel attempt and also even published writers writers who've had so much more writing experience than I have and they've already been published before even their first drafts are nothing like the published copies that we get in stored they are edited by so many people also something that I found pretty helpful today is that I started using brackets when I couldn't think of a word to use or I'm talking about a certain type of car in my book and you don't really know too much about cars my dad is a really big car person so I put a little note to ask my dad like what a certain type of car would be I also put flush the scene out some more or different notes like that and it really is helping me write quicker so I definitely recommend that if you get stuck on something just put it in brackets and go back to it later in your next draft I'm going to go back to writing and I will see you all tomorrow hopefully I hit 5,000 words because that is the goal it is now day four of camp NaNoWriMo and I am updating you before it is almost the next day right now it is 439 ha I am a winner today but I haven't started writing it so I guess I'm not I just woke up from a pretty long nap it was like three hours long and I'm so really tired Monday through Friday I have class 935 to whatever so I always have to wake up at 8:00 a.m. like 7:45 and I'm writing until like 3:00 in the morning so I haven't been getting enough sleep already it's only day four I really like my story so far I know I'm only on chapter I have a prologue so I'm at the end of chapter one but it's like the second chapter that I've written and I know I'm really with the character so far I'm happy that I switched back from my last idea I'm happy that I'm back in my original idea because I totally understand the characters more I really want to make this book diverse that's one of the biggest things that I want I want there to be people of different races and different sexual orientations and gender identity even though it's going to be a contemporary romantic comedy type book I still think that you know it should be realistic and there should be more than just like white people who are straight depicted in the story because that's real life folks I don't really like that I have to say that I want to make it diverse because it just should be a thing that all books are diverse because I think it's a really important issue and yeah so I think I should start writing I did before I took a nap I got start bugs this is the Starbucks double-shot on ice kat from katytastic drinks this all the time and I tried it last week and my whole world was changed it is pure energy oh by the way I should tell you that right now I am over 5,000 words I have thousand 184 words into my story except that is including both stories because I did write that many words over camp NaNoWriMo but project milkshake has only two thousand three hundred and thirty-four words so I'm not that far into my one story but that's combining those stories also one of the issues that I have been experiencing is that I really like writing dialogue and I really like creating characters descriptions I'm struggling with because I'm having trouble bouncing over writing and under writing because I'm scared to over describe something I am like basically not describing it at all and I'm putting new brackets like come back and describe more of this because I'm just I'm too scared that I'm going to turn into one of those writers who have two pages of description for like a bathroom or something like that because that always gets on my nerves but now the reader will not know what anything looks like I'm going to start writing now I'm going to go to writer's block because it is the bomb do you hear that do you share that bird I hope you hear it because it sings or it chirps or what all the time it starts out who I am and it doesn't stop until I can I am and now it is 4:53 p.m. and it's chirping again I'm so it's probably a really cute bird - you guys haven't seen my room here at college this is my apartment room we're just going to pretend that the bird is not here well this is my desk which you have seen and that's my closet that's my bed and yeah over there is my retain chair and a really cool lamp that I got from Ikea both of them are from Ikea we should name the bird what should we name the bird tell me down below because it needs to have a really terrible name to match my feelings towards it right now just stop I'm gonna put some headphones in and with music and drink a coffee and write on writer's block which like I was saying before is thebomb.com oh my gosh that bird what should I listen to I actually have made some playlist on Spotify but actually I was really dumb I was really really dumb I just realized and I deleted the original playlist that I had for project milkshake when I got my second idea because I'm like I'm never going back to that first idea I'm just going to delete them and make new playlists for my new characters and now I'm back to my old characters and my old playlists were so good why did I do this to myself I don't like these new playlists terrible songs but I also had the playlist that Stephanie Perkins made for Anna the French kiss alone the boy next door and island happily ever after writer's block time I just sprinted for about 15 minutes and I got 200 words I just started an awkward place because it's almost at the end of one of my chapters that I was so tired last night that I just ended at such an awkward place I should have continued on or it was a bad idea for me to stop where I did I'm going to use the writer's block app word count instead of for the time limit 750 words like it'll block it until I hit that amount of words maybe start on chapter 2 chapter 2 is when I introduce the love interest I really like him a lot he's really cute I'm excited to see how him in my main character get on it supposed to be awkward at first so excited to write the awkwardness I have so much experience in the awkwardness my whole life has been leading up to this point I may or may not just be hitting the h button and this but together to try him trick rhymes block into thinking I'm reading more words just because I'm so done with having the word counter I'm I'm such a cheater this is awful oh I hit it oh my gosh it's I felt so uninspired having this looming over me I much prefer the writing Sprint's not the writing marathons I did start chapter 2 I only wrote one sentence of chapter 2 and then I wrote 200 ages and spaces but I did start that it is 8:30 and I got distracted well not distracted I had some homework to do right now I have the big plot points that I want to hit but I don't really have many transitions seen so I think I'm going to have to go back to my outline and add some things where my main character isn't doing like crazy things like she's actually just living I'm on the Isla and the happily ever after playlist right now also I drink some more coffee and I think it finally kicked in I can write now the brain fart the brain fart has gone it has diffused out the windows it is now 127 am technically it is day 5 I'm just going to end this vlog right here because I just imported all of my footage I have 1 hour and 45 minutes worth of footage I entered a four with 6474 words which I am pretty proud of goodbye and I'll see you all in my next vlog and I'm going to go to bed already brush my teeth and wash my face and everything so it's time for bed thank you all for watching and I'll talk to you later byehey youtube it's Zoey or read by Zoey and I am starting this little vlog series for the next month because I am partaking in the camp NaNoWriMo a couple of videos ago I was asked if I ever wanted to be an author or write a book and I said I was not going to say no I wasn't going to dismiss the idea but at that moment I didn't have any plans to write anything because I had no grand idea but guess what happened on Monday I got that grand idea if you don't follow me on snapchat or Twitter which by the way you should hahaha I'm gonna leave my links down below basically all my social media is at read by Zoey so it's all really easy I was having a hangar in for a cookies and cream milkshake from chick-fil-a the chick-fil-a is always super crowded I don't know why the drive-thru line will be like 15 minutes long it will be backed up and like circle around the building I wasn't in the music mood so I was literally sitting in silence in my car for like 15 minutes and I got this idea for a bug no one's written this particular story before maybe I should write it oh I should write a book oh my gosh I already know what the main character's name is going to be and this whole situation idea after idea when I came back to my apartment with my milkshake in my hand which was delicious by the way I immediately started outlining putting all of my notes onto my computer and figuring out some more things and I was also talking to my friend from study abroad named Jana who does a lot of work on Wattpad and she writes a lot so I was asking her for some writer tips and she was really really helpful then she said hey do you want to join me in camp NaNoWriMo I had never heard of camp NaNoWriMo before I've heard of NaNoWriMo obviously because it's such like a big thing so many people partake in it but I hadn't heard of camp NaNoWriMo which is basically a more subdued version of NaNoWriMo it is in the summer there are two different sessions there is the one in April which is this month and another one in July and you create your own goal you don't have to write 50,000 words so this came at the perfect time I was already in the midst of outlining my novel I had so many ideas and now I can start writing the novel I have so much outlining I am a super planner I didn't know this about myself I knew that I was organized and I liked thinking things through and I liked planning and all of that but I didn't think I enjoyed planning to such an extent I have made Pinterest boards I've never used Pinterest before but then I started using it for this project I was on baby names calm for so long baby names calm is so much fun I used it even like for my sims characters I've used it for so many years I have written so many notes I'm not going to show you any of my islands because I want to keep my idea pretty like on the DL so many different I don't want to show you it so many different pages of notes and I have way more notes on my computer I have entire character analysis analyses and now I don't know it's late right now all the main characters I have their bio I have what they look like their physical description and what clothes they wear I have their personality descriptions and I even put what Hogwarts house each of them would be in because I don't know and I found their personality type online like the sixteen different personality is like entp all of my outlines not counting these because I don't know how many words I have in this notebook but all of my actual files is more than six thousand words of outlining and I just started a couple of days ago it's insane I've been obsessed but it's like the best obsession I don't want to tell you the name of my story but I'm calling it by a code name which is Project milkshake so if you see that on Twitter any of my social media project milkshake it is this story that I'm talking about but it that is not the official title so don't think that like it's gonna be like a book called Project milkshake because that would be oh I mean it could work but not for my book my book I can tell you is going to be a y8 temporary romance finding yourself type story set in the summer and you know other things happen they all started with a milkshake a delicious cookies and cream milkshake so there are going to be milkshakes in it I've rambled on a bunch I think mostly because right now it is 11:30 7:00 p.m. and camp NaNoWriMo is going to start at midnight I know a few of you will probably ask in the comments if I'm planning on publishing this if that is like my end goal but at this point I'm just writing this story for me because I've never tried to write a novel before so this story is basically me trying to find my own writing voice and get comfortable with it I really like the story though so maybe when I get more comfortable with writing and I get more experienced I can come back to this story and I can work it up and maybe try to publish it if I really like it it might turn out to be terrible but you know it's all about experience it's all about trying new things I'm going to write with a few of my friends who are in different time zones and I don't know how long I'm going to write tonight because I'm so tired I'm gonna make some coffee duh I have acquired the coffee which is as you can see this is the Moga thing that I have made for like the last year I really want to drink this right now which I'm so tired but of course cure eggs always make the coffee at like 5,000 degrees you have to wait ten more minutes until I can start writing and then my coffee will be cool enough let's get pumped guys should we have a dance party to get pumped up for this I am sufficiently pumped up now and guess what Oh No the coffee is still but it is now officially - well the a.m. I am ready so ready I'm so excited to just try this thing and guess what coffee still hot I'm going to write my prologue it is now 1:40 a.m. and I have just written 1028 words I wasn't even writing like for that entire hour and 40 minutes I was probably like actual writing time writing for like an hour because I'm a really distracted person so I was like checking Twitter and like looking at all of the NaNoWriMo Sprint's and stuff like that so I did get pretty distracted and I was like looking at my outline and like kind of fixing it around but that's not bad I was definitely editing myself as I was going I need to break out of that habit because I know that especially for your first draft you just should mostly try to get all of your thoughts out and not really care about the wording obviously the wording is important because it is a book and that's all words but this is more about like getting your ideas out and now it's like Friday morning I have closed at 9:30 so probably I should go to bed soon hey YouTube so right now it is 103 a.m. on technically April 3rd but I'm going to count this as my day to update just because I started writing on day 2 which was a couple of hours ago at 10:45 p.m. and so I didn't want to do an update until after I had written something because I hadn't written since my last update April 1st was my dad's birthday so I came home for the weekend that's why I'm in a new location I brought my computer home just for the weekend to do some work on and stuff like that but I am at home right now I also had some car trouble and it's just been a very hectic for the past few days over the past couple of hours I have written 1,024 words my goal was not 50,000 words that was just the ideal amount that I would hit but my goal actually is 25,000 words because this month is going to be so crazy it is the end of my school year so I'm going to have finals so if we say that I'm doing pretty well right now I'm watching Jesse's vlog she's talking about her camp NaNoWriMo stuff so I'm watching that but that's one of the big problems that I've been having yesterday and today the two days that I have done NaNoWriMo um I am so distracted I think it's just because I haven't tried to write a novel before so I'm trying to like look up tips and I'm like looking at other people's progress and stuff like that so both that is me trying to get inspiration but also I'm getting distracted and I'm not writing because I'm looking for inspiration i dumb since my last update I have changed my plot for my story around a lot was planning on doing a different type of contemporary book they're still gonna be submissions in it but I'm trying to make this more funny this month when I have finals and I'm just going to be very busy and blah I wanted to do something a little bit finer and light-hearted basis of the story I feel like is the same but I've changed like character names actually have changed a lot so it's basically like I'm doing a new story I think that's another reason why I'm writing so slowly is because I decided to change my entire story idea last minute I spent that like entire week developing the first story and then I'm like huh nah let's change it all let's just scrap all the work that I did and just redo it so I haven't gotten a lot of writing done but I have made an entire new story I did take a fiction writing class last year but we were given a prompt to write about and it was so much easier because you knew what you had to do I knew what my end result had to be I knew the word count that I had to reach this is so much responsibility but also that's really fun because I can just make up the entire story I can make someone like an evil murderer when they at first seemed like they were some nice purse even though it's not going to be my story there's not going to be any murder in my story but I could I could write a murder if I wanted to also something that I learned about like an hour ago from yes II actually on Twitter is this app called where is it no it's not called where is it it's called writer's block and it is so helpful for distracted people like me I will go and seek out distraction like I've talked about but this blocks everything on your computer until either you have written a total amount of words like you can put your goal of words to be like a thousand or something like that and it will block everything on your computer until you've reached that amount which I didn't do that one I did instead minutes from now I blocked everything for like 30 minutes and all I could do was write and it was that's how I got most of my words tonight was from this application it's so helpful I think I'm going to use it from now on it's already 1:00 a.m. and I should probably go to bed soon it is the end of day 3 it is 11:30 p.m. if you're wondering I just got out of the shower and this is what happens ladies and gentlemen what I don't put anything in my hair and don't brush it and don't do anything to it this is its natural state I look like I'm a lion but whatever we're here to talk about writing today I hit four thousand five hundred and seventy words and I'm not done writing I think after I do this update I'm going to write maybe like 400 more words I think I want to hit five thousand today I don't know what happened today I just got in such a writing mood I think one of the things that I learned today was how to word vomit how to just write all of my thoughts down and keep the editing to a minimum finally switching from the academic writing mode when I have to edit myself and make sure I sound okay to more of like the this is a first draft it's okay to be sucky this is creative writing for myself type mode because all the creative writing that I've done so far I did it for school and I don't tend to it my stuff after I do a first draft I tend to just do a first draft and then send it in so I only have that first draft and I edit myself as I go but this is different this is supposed to have several drafts and I'm just supposed to get all of my ideas out and it's okay if it's not good the first draft all of these vlogs are made rambling also I've done all my writing today on writer's block so I have not been distracted I have just been forced to sit in front of my computer at a blank screen and type I also decided to go back to my original story idea the one that I was writing on day one yesterday I just had this crisis where I was like no I can't write my original story idea I have to make it funny or I don't I don't know what was happening yesterday but I felt like so constricted by having to stay with the story that I had been out letting the entire week before today I was right hate my new story idea and I just realized that it was totally underdeveloped I didn't know where the story was going to go I didn't really understand the characters yet and I like the story idea I think I'm going to write it eventually but I'm definitely going to have to do some more outlining especially when the story that I'm working on right now has so much outlining I know where the story is going to go I know the characters so well and I feel really comfortable writing it I'm definitely trying to keep a positive attitude throughout this entire thing I was getting a little dejected yesterday and that's when I had that really premature crisis and like oh I'm a terrible writer I bet these authors who are published their first draft isn't as bad as mine but I have to keep a perspective on this this is my first novel attempt and also even published writers writers who've had so much more writing experience than I have and they've already been published before even their first drafts are nothing like the published copies that we get in stored they are edited by so many people also something that I found pretty helpful today is that I started using brackets when I couldn't think of a word to use or I'm talking about a certain type of car in my book and you don't really know too much about cars my dad is a really big car person so I put a little note to ask my dad like what a certain type of car would be I also put flush the scene out some more or different notes like that and it really is helping me write quicker so I definitely recommend that if you get stuck on something just put it in brackets and go back to it later in your next draft I'm going to go back to writing and I will see you all tomorrow hopefully I hit 5,000 words because that is the goal it is now day four of camp NaNoWriMo and I am updating you before it is almost the next day right now it is 439 ha I am a winner today but I haven't started writing it so I guess I'm not I just woke up from a pretty long nap it was like three hours long and I'm so really tired Monday through Friday I have class 935 to whatever so I always have to wake up at 8:00 a.m. like 7:45 and I'm writing until like 3:00 in the morning so I haven't been getting enough sleep already it's only day four I really like my story so far I know I'm only on chapter I have a prologue so I'm at the end of chapter one but it's like the second chapter that I've written and I know I'm really with the character so far I'm happy that I switched back from my last idea I'm happy that I'm back in my original idea because I totally understand the characters more I really want to make this book diverse that's one of the biggest things that I want I want there to be people of different races and different sexual orientations and gender identity even though it's going to be a contemporary romantic comedy type book I still think that you know it should be realistic and there should be more than just like white people who are straight depicted in the story because that's real life folks I don't really like that I have to say that I want to make it diverse because it just should be a thing that all books are diverse because I think it's a really important issue and yeah so I think I should start writing I did before I took a nap I got start bugs this is the Starbucks double-shot on ice kat from katytastic drinks this all the time and I tried it last week and my whole world was changed it is pure energy oh by the way I should tell you that right now I am over 5,000 words I have thousand 184 words into my story except that is including both stories because I did write that many words over camp NaNoWriMo but project milkshake has only two thousand three hundred and thirty-four words so I'm not that far into my one story but that's combining those stories also one of the issues that I have been experiencing is that I really like writing dialogue and I really like creating characters descriptions I'm struggling with because I'm having trouble bouncing over writing and under writing because I'm scared to over describe something I am like basically not describing it at all and I'm putting new brackets like come back and describe more of this because I'm just I'm too scared that I'm going to turn into one of those writers who have two pages of description for like a bathroom or something like that because that always gets on my nerves but now the reader will not know what anything looks like I'm going to start writing now I'm going to go to writer's block because it is the bomb do you hear that do you share that bird I hope you hear it because it sings or it chirps or what all the time it starts out who I am and it doesn't stop until I can I am and now it is 4:53 p.m. and it's chirping again I'm so it's probably a really cute bird - you guys haven't seen my room here at college this is my apartment room we're just going to pretend that the bird is not here well this is my desk which you have seen and that's my closet that's my bed and yeah over there is my retain chair and a really cool lamp that I got from Ikea both of them are from Ikea we should name the bird what should we name the bird tell me down below because it needs to have a really terrible name to match my feelings towards it right now just stop I'm gonna put some headphones in and with music and drink a coffee and write on writer's block which like I was saying before is thebomb.com oh my gosh that bird what should I listen to I actually have made some playlist on Spotify but actually I was really dumb I was really really dumb I just realized and I deleted the original playlist that I had for project milkshake when I got my second idea because I'm like I'm never going back to that first idea I'm just going to delete them and make new playlists for my new characters and now I'm back to my old characters and my old playlists were so good why did I do this to myself I don't like these new playlists terrible songs but I also had the playlist that Stephanie Perkins made for Anna the French kiss alone the boy next door and island happily ever after writer's block time I just sprinted for about 15 minutes and I got 200 words I just started an awkward place because it's almost at the end of one of my chapters that I was so tired last night that I just ended at such an awkward place I should have continued on or it was a bad idea for me to stop where I did I'm going to use the writer's block app word count instead of for the time limit 750 words like it'll block it until I hit that amount of words maybe start on chapter 2 chapter 2 is when I introduce the love interest I really like him a lot he's really cute I'm excited to see how him in my main character get on it supposed to be awkward at first so excited to write the awkwardness I have so much experience in the awkwardness my whole life has been leading up to this point I may or may not just be hitting the h button and this but together to try him trick rhymes block into thinking I'm reading more words just because I'm so done with having the word counter I'm I'm such a cheater this is awful oh I hit it oh my gosh it's I felt so uninspired having this looming over me I much prefer the writing Sprint's not the writing marathons I did start chapter 2 I only wrote one sentence of chapter 2 and then I wrote 200 ages and spaces but I did start that it is 8:30 and I got distracted well not distracted I had some homework to do right now I have the big plot points that I want to hit but I don't really have many transitions seen so I think I'm going to have to go back to my outline and add some things where my main character isn't doing like crazy things like she's actually just living I'm on the Isla and the happily ever after playlist right now also I drink some more coffee and I think it finally kicked in I can write now the brain fart the brain fart has gone it has diffused out the windows it is now 127 am technically it is day 5 I'm just going to end this vlog right here because I just imported all of my footage I have 1 hour and 45 minutes worth of footage I entered a four with 6474 words which I am pretty proud of goodbye and I'll see you all in my next vlog and I'm going to go to bed already brush my teeth and wash my face and everything so it's time for bed thank you all for watching and I'll talk to you later bye\n"