The Futility of Soylent: A Review

Why and you'll find that there is no good answer and over $100 this didn't save me any money since that's what I spend per week on groceries but with groceries I get to eat delicious steaks and fresh produce any time-saving qualities that I experienced from not having to prep cook or wash dishes was negated by the miniature comas I would fall into everyday and everynight with regular 10 hour long sleeps and 3-hour long naps at the party. The whole time you were just in the hammock well I was I had eaten 1,600 calories that day that's like half of the night every day that's like double la-dee-da Kate Moss jr. like a gentleman it's not even a great approach to weight loss since the product is so calorically dense that one slip-up will put you over the limit for the day by a long shot and yes you will likely slip up because you have no idea how tempting and satisfying it is to chew food until you try to forego the activity entirely so it isn't even trendy anymore like it was in 2013 four years ago. So I can't even act like I did this on the bleeding edge then again I usually like reviewing stuff after the hype dies down that's why I still haven't listened to more life all the way through but Shack, that want to be tech nerds will whine this is a product meant to replace the chore meals in your life. The desk lunches and the car food eaten in traffic that's fine and that's why I was so excited to try this product I wake up three hours every day before work to cook a big slow hearty breakfast and then make a fresh lunch to take into work I cook so much and now that I'm also cooking for internet likes online and completely at my limit but there are better cheaper more responsible products available that have been around for decades.

The Selling Point of Soylent: A Disappointment

Soylent's big selling point and differentiating factor is that it's complete and you could live off of it and it alone. To that point, it fails. This is a product for single men who work in an office any semblance of a girlfriend will require you to submit to her cravings and you will need the comforting omnipresence an industrial-strength toilet to try this for more than a single day. You're probably a lot less energetic because you're talking a lot less so I think that's a great idea for you to do this like a year because then you talk less to all of us and like make the world a better place all of us.

A Review from a Skeptical Reviewer

My advice to the ticked-off neckbeards who won't like this review please learn from the BuzzFeed tasty Lululemon princesses and eat overnight oats for breakfast. Learn from the roided-out thick net kill cliff fiends who shovel down the same chicken breast brown rice and broccoli every day understand that you can still achieve completionist monotony with very little work while still eating real food. Ever heard a jerk just eat real food yeah do that industrial foods based on scientific excellence were a big byproduct of post-world War two America but you don't see people flocking to crowdfund Wonder Bread or spam largely because we're trying to get people to move back in the other direction towards real ass food or I don't know maybe it's because Wonder Bread and spam don't have cool marketable names and Instagram ads. Who knows? Bottom line this is heavily processed food and if you want to spend a ton of money eating processed food all the time just use Uber Eats. It tastes like milk of magnesia or something like that. Like the consistency of that but it still has that taste of Froot Loops yeah medicine it all tastes fine and non offensive if you don't mind protein shakes you won't mind silent cacao tastes the most familiar akin to chocolate soy milk nectar tastes like the pinkish soup left behind after a bowl of Froot Loops coffee. Asst tastes like burnt coffee and it's by far the dumbest one like why would anyone want coffee and breakfast in one beverage if you're a big-time coffee head you like coffee and you won't like this as a substitute. The caffeine is there but the flavor is not plus the bottle is shaped ever so differently so it gets crushed when you transport it which is so not breathable.

Shipping, Customer Service, and Refunds

Oh by the way chugging 400 high fat liquid calories turns your gulli works into an oil slick so sipping slow is the only way to dodge the collywobbles. Shipping is fast customer service is spectacular and they gave me a full refund now that this video has been recorded I can go back to my normal life and I've never been so happy's good I like that

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enthis is day 1 meal 1 it is 8:30 a.m. I'm drinking coffee astiz Soylent Plus coffee in one convenient bottle and it tastes like a sad milkshake the hardest part about consuming nothing but Soylent for 7 days is that people are bound to ask you why and you'll find that there is no good answer and over $100 this didn't save me any money since that's what I spend per week on groceries but with groceries I get to eat delicious steaks and fresh produce any time-saving qualities that I experienced from not having to prep cook or wash dishes was negated by the miniature comas I would fall into everyday and everynight with regular 10 hour long sleeps and 3-hour long naps at the party the whole time you were just in the hammock well I was I had eaten 1,600 calories that day that's like half of the night every day that's like double la-dee-da Kate Moss jr. like a gentleman it's not even a great approach to weight loss since the product is so calorically dense that one slip-up will put you over the limit for the day by a long shot and yes you will likely slip up because you have no idea how tempting and satisfying it is to chew food until you try to forego the activity entirely so it isn't even trendy anymore like it was in 2013 four years ago so I can't even act like I did this on the bleeding edge then again I usually like reviewing stuff after the hype dies down that's why I still haven't listened to more life all the way through but Shack that want to be tech nerds will whine this is a product meant to replace the chore meals in your life the desk lunches and the car food eaten in traffic that's fine and that's why I was so excited to try this product I wake up three hours every day before work to cook a big slow hearty breakfast and then make a fresh lunch to take into work I cook so much and now that I'm also cooking for internet likes online and completely at my limit but there are better cheaper more responsible products available that have been around for decades Soylent big selling point and differentiating factor is that it's complete and you could live off of it and it alone to that point it fails this is a product for single men who work in an office any semblance of a girlfriend will require you to submit to her cravings and you will need the comforting omnipresence an industrial-strength toilet to try this for more than a single day you're probably a lot less energetic because you're talking a lot less so I think that's a great idea for you to do this like a year because then you talk less to all of us and like make the world a better place all of us this is a product for an insecure novice male who doesn't feel comfortable toting slimfast instant breakfast or raw meal in his Fiat even cuncun my advice to the ticked-off neckbeards who won't like this review please learn from the BuzzFeed tasty Lululemon princesses and eat overnight oats for breakfast learn from the roided-out thick net kill cliff fiends who shovel down the same chicken breast brown rice and broccoli every day understand that you can still achieve completionist monotony with very little work while still eating real food you ever heard a jerk je RF just eat real food yeah do that industrial foods based on scientific excellence were a big byproduct of post-world War two America but you don't see people flocking to crowdfund Wonder Bread or spam largely because we're trying to get people to move back in the other direction towards real ass food or I don't know maybe it's because Wonder Bread and spam don't have cool marketable names and Instagram ads who knows bottom line this is heavily processed food and if you want to spend a ton of money eating processed food all the time just use uber eats it tastes like milk of magnesia or something like that like the consistency of that but it still has that taste of Froot Loops yeah medicine it all tastes fine and non offensive if you don't mind protein shakes you won't mind silent cacao tastes the most familiar akin to chocolate soy milk nectar tastes like the pinkish soup left behind after a bowl of Froot Loops coffee Asst tastes like burnt coffee and it's by far the dumbest one like why would anyone want coffee and breakfast in one beverage if you're a big-time coffee head you like coffee and you won't like this as a substitute the caffeine is there but the flavor is not plus the bottle is shaped ever so differently so it gets crushed when you transport it which is so not breathable oh by the way chugging 400 high fat liquid calories turns your gulli works into an oil slick so sipping slow is the only way to dodge the collywobbles shipping is fast customer service is spectacular and they gave me a full refund now that this video has been recorded I can go back to my normal life and I've never been so happy that's good I like thatthis is day 1 meal 1 it is 8:30 a.m. I'm drinking coffee astiz Soylent Plus coffee in one convenient bottle and it tastes like a sad milkshake the hardest part about consuming nothing but Soylent for 7 days is that people are bound to ask you why and you'll find that there is no good answer and over $100 this didn't save me any money since that's what I spend per week on groceries but with groceries I get to eat delicious steaks and fresh produce any time-saving qualities that I experienced from not having to prep cook or wash dishes was negated by the miniature comas I would fall into everyday and everynight with regular 10 hour long sleeps and 3-hour long naps at the party the whole time you were just in the hammock well I was I had eaten 1,600 calories that day that's like half of the night every day that's like double la-dee-da Kate Moss jr. like a gentleman it's not even a great approach to weight loss since the product is so calorically dense that one slip-up will put you over the limit for the day by a long shot and yes you will likely slip up because you have no idea how tempting and satisfying it is to chew food until you try to forego the activity entirely so it isn't even trendy anymore like it was in 2013 four years ago so I can't even act like I did this on the bleeding edge then again I usually like reviewing stuff after the hype dies down that's why I still haven't listened to more life all the way through but Shack that want to be tech nerds will whine this is a product meant to replace the chore meals in your life the desk lunches and the car food eaten in traffic that's fine and that's why I was so excited to try this product I wake up three hours every day before work to cook a big slow hearty breakfast and then make a fresh lunch to take into work I cook so much and now that I'm also cooking for internet likes online and completely at my limit but there are better cheaper more responsible products available that have been around for decades Soylent big selling point and differentiating factor is that it's complete and you could live off of it and it alone to that point it fails this is a product for single men who work in an office any semblance of a girlfriend will require you to submit to her cravings and you will need the comforting omnipresence an industrial-strength toilet to try this for more than a single day you're probably a lot less energetic because you're talking a lot less so I think that's a great idea for you to do this like a year because then you talk less to all of us and like make the world a better place all of us this is a product for an insecure novice male who doesn't feel comfortable toting slimfast instant breakfast or raw meal in his Fiat even cuncun my advice to the ticked-off neckbeards who won't like this review please learn from the BuzzFeed tasty Lululemon princesses and eat overnight oats for breakfast learn from the roided-out thick net kill cliff fiends who shovel down the same chicken breast brown rice and broccoli every day understand that you can still achieve completionist monotony with very little work while still eating real food you ever heard a jerk je RF just eat real food yeah do that industrial foods based on scientific excellence were a big byproduct of post-world War two America but you don't see people flocking to crowdfund Wonder Bread or spam largely because we're trying to get people to move back in the other direction towards real ass food or I don't know maybe it's because Wonder Bread and spam don't have cool marketable names and Instagram ads who knows bottom line this is heavily processed food and if you want to spend a ton of money eating processed food all the time just use uber eats it tastes like milk of magnesia or something like that like the consistency of that but it still has that taste of Froot Loops yeah medicine it all tastes fine and non offensive if you don't mind protein shakes you won't mind silent cacao tastes the most familiar akin to chocolate soy milk nectar tastes like the pinkish soup left behind after a bowl of Froot Loops coffee Asst tastes like burnt coffee and it's by far the dumbest one like why would anyone want coffee and breakfast in one beverage if you're a big-time coffee head you like coffee and you won't like this as a substitute the caffeine is there but the flavor is not plus the bottle is shaped ever so differently so it gets crushed when you transport it which is so not breathable oh by the way chugging 400 high fat liquid calories turns your gulli works into an oil slick so sipping slow is the only way to dodge the collywobbles shipping is fast customer service is spectacular and they gave me a full refund now that this video has been recorded I can go back to my normal life and I've never been so happy that's good I like that\n"