The Importance of Refraining from Speaking Lashon HaRah: A Spiritual Homework Assignment

As we welcome back to another episode of Shabbat Shmo, this week's parsha is para tazria, which discusses the laws of lashon ha'ra and the importance of refraining from speaking it. I must say that I was at my neighbor V's house one Shabbat and saw that she had one of these signs up in her dining room, which is where we all sit at the Shabbat table. I thought that was such a brilliant idea, so we made our own and put it in our kitchen because the kitchen in my house is the heart of the home. You want to make sure that anyone coming into the kitchen understands that this place is a lashon ha'ra-free zone.

This week's parsha discusses so much about what happens to a person when they speak lashon ha'ra and what happens to a person when they refrain from speaking it. Sometimes, when it's so hard for us to keep the laws of lashon ha'ra in our minds, we might feel like we're losing control or that we're not making progress. But, as Rabbi David Asher tells us, we will always gain by refraining from speaking lashon ha'ra.

One story that Rabbi David Asher shares with us is about a man who was working at his job and his boss came over to him and said, "Listen, I need you to tell me whatever you know about so-and-so. I know he's a Jew, I know you know him. Tell me everything you know about him." The man knew that speaking lashon ha'ra would be inappropriate, so he said to the boss, "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell you. Do you mind if I speak to my Rabbi and get back to you?" The boss responded by saying, "You're my boss, you're my employer. You can't just say no to me like that." But the man stood firm and said, "I am your employee, and I will not speak lashon ha'ra."

The boss was taken aback by the man's response, but he thought about it for a moment before saying, "Fine, you may speak to your Rabbi. If your Rabbi says it's okay, then I'll listen." The man spoke to his Rabbi, who told him that speaking lashon ha'ra was indeed forbidden. The man went back to the boss and said, "I'm sorry, I won't tell you anything more about so-and-so." The boss responded by saying, "You're impossible! You're going to regret this!" But the man didn't say a word more about so-and-so.

This experience is a great example of what happens when we refrain from speaking lashon ha'ra. Despite the temptation to speak ill of someone, the man chose to keep his promise and not speak lashon ha'ra. And in the end, he was rewarded with a promotion to a better position with a higher pay. The boss realized that if the man could be so careful with his words, then he must be trustworthy.

So, what can we learn from this story? Before you speak, think about whether it's lashon ha'ra or not. Remember that once you speak, you are responsible for the consequences of those words. And always keep in mind that Hashem is watching over us and will guide us to make the right decisions.

In conclusion, refraining from speaking lashon ha'ra is an important part of our spiritual practice. It requires discipline, self-control, and a strong sense of morality. But, as we've seen, it can also lead to great rewards and recognition. So, this week, I want to encourage you all to think before you speak and to refrain from speaking lashon ha'ra whenever possible. Remember that your words have power, and with Hashem's guidance, you can make a positive impact on those around you.

As we conclude our spiritual homework assignment for the week, I want to leave you with a beautiful quote from Rabbi Esther Young Rice Alam: "Before you speak, are you speaking lashon ha'ra? Because once you speak, it is as if you have sinned." Let us all strive to be mindful of our words and to choose them wisely, so that we can build each other up rather than tearing each other down. Shalom.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enwelcome back to another episode of Shabbat Shmo this week's paraa is para tazria which discusses the laws of lash andara so fun fact I was at my neighbor V's house one Shabbat and I saw that she had one of these signs up in her dining room which is where we're all sitting at the Shabbat table and I thought that was such a brilliant idea so we made our own and we put it in our kitchen because the kitchen in my house is the heart of the home you want to make sure that anyone coming into the kitchen understands that this place is a lashan Hara free zone so this week's para discusses so much about what happens to a person when they speak lashan Hara and what happens to a person when they refrain from speaking lanara I heard a gorgeous Story by Rabbi David Asher and he told over a story about how sometimes when it's so hard for you to keep the lanara in you might feel like you're really losing actuality you will always gain RAB David as Tells over a story about a man who was working in at his job and his boss came over to him and said listen I need you to tell me whatever you know about so and so I know he's a Jew I know you know him tell me everything I need to know about him I need to know if I should do business with him and this man this Jew this from man knew that this is probably going to be lashan Hara so he said to the boss I'm so sorry I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell you do you mind if I speak to my Rabbi and get back to you and his boss was so bother there he said I'm your boss I'm your employer you're telling me that you can't answer me and you have to speak to your Rabbi to let me know information about a guy that's that's ridiculous absolutely not tell me whatever it is you know and he thought about it and he said I'm I'm it is Lush and harot it's forbidden speech so please allow me to speak to my Rabbi and if he allows me to tell you because sometimes it can be L toalet then I will tell you but I can't answer you until I get permission from my Rabbi so he Calles RV tells him the situation and rev says I'm sorry this straight up lashara there's nothing you could say so he goes back the next day and he tells the boss I'm really sorry but I can't give you information about this man I spoke to my Rabbi and it is lanara it is forbidden speech and this boss is disgusted by his employee saying I'm sorry what that is ludicrous how ridiculous okay you're going to regret this wait and see you're going to regret this and this guy feels terrible but halaka is halaka so he doesn't say anything and he's really eating himself up thinking I I'm going to lose out because of this I'm going to lose out but alas Hashem teaches us we never lose out by refraining from speaking lanara for 30 days the boss made this employees life totally Mis miserable he made it so difficult for him to be so happy at work but after 30 days the boss comes into his room and puts out his hand and he shakes it he says congratulations this guy's like what are you congratulating me on you you you've been quite difficult this past month what what's going on and the boss says I'll explain he said I'm being asked to go to a higher position within our company and I'm going to have to be traveling a lot and I was thinking for the past couple of weeks who can I trust in my company that will keep all of our very important Secrets very private I have no one here I cannot trust a single person in this entire company with my company secrets to help us get to the next stage that we want to be at until you refused to tell me information about that guy that is when I realized if this man is so careful not to say something that's not allowed I know that I can trust him congratulations you have just been promoted and he was promoted to a much better position with a much higher pay and he saw that because he refrained from speaking lashan Hara he was so greatly rewarded so I want to conclude with a beautiful quote I heard from the amazing rebbit and Esther young rice Alam before you speak you are in charge of the word once you speak it is in charge of you so friends this week as our spiritual homework please think before you speak if it's lashara don't say it and just know that Hashem will always provard you from a framing and speaking of sh shalomwelcome back to another episode of Shabbat Shmo this week's paraa is para tazria which discusses the laws of lash andara so fun fact I was at my neighbor V's house one Shabbat and I saw that she had one of these signs up in her dining room which is where we're all sitting at the Shabbat table and I thought that was such a brilliant idea so we made our own and we put it in our kitchen because the kitchen in my house is the heart of the home you want to make sure that anyone coming into the kitchen understands that this place is a lashan Hara free zone so this week's para discusses so much about what happens to a person when they speak lashan Hara and what happens to a person when they refrain from speaking lanara I heard a gorgeous Story by Rabbi David Asher and he told over a story about how sometimes when it's so hard for you to keep the lanara in you might feel like you're really losing actuality you will always gain RAB David as Tells over a story about a man who was working in at his job and his boss came over to him and said listen I need you to tell me whatever you know about so and so I know he's a Jew I know you know him tell me everything I need to know about him I need to know if I should do business with him and this man this Jew this from man knew that this is probably going to be lashan Hara so he said to the boss I'm so sorry I'm not sure I'm allowed to tell you do you mind if I speak to my Rabbi and get back to you and his boss was so bother there he said I'm your boss I'm your employer you're telling me that you can't answer me and you have to speak to your Rabbi to let me know information about a guy that's that's ridiculous absolutely not tell me whatever it is you know and he thought about it and he said I'm I'm it is Lush and harot it's forbidden speech so please allow me to speak to my Rabbi and if he allows me to tell you because sometimes it can be L toalet then I will tell you but I can't answer you until I get permission from my Rabbi so he Calles RV tells him the situation and rev says I'm sorry this straight up lashara there's nothing you could say so he goes back the next day and he tells the boss I'm really sorry but I can't give you information about this man I spoke to my Rabbi and it is lanara it is forbidden speech and this boss is disgusted by his employee saying I'm sorry what that is ludicrous how ridiculous okay you're going to regret this wait and see you're going to regret this and this guy feels terrible but halaka is halaka so he doesn't say anything and he's really eating himself up thinking I I'm going to lose out because of this I'm going to lose out but alas Hashem teaches us we never lose out by refraining from speaking lanara for 30 days the boss made this employees life totally Mis miserable he made it so difficult for him to be so happy at work but after 30 days the boss comes into his room and puts out his hand and he shakes it he says congratulations this guy's like what are you congratulating me on you you you've been quite difficult this past month what what's going on and the boss says I'll explain he said I'm being asked to go to a higher position within our company and I'm going to have to be traveling a lot and I was thinking for the past couple of weeks who can I trust in my company that will keep all of our very important Secrets very private I have no one here I cannot trust a single person in this entire company with my company secrets to help us get to the next stage that we want to be at until you refused to tell me information about that guy that is when I realized if this man is so careful not to say something that's not allowed I know that I can trust him congratulations you have just been promoted and he was promoted to a much better position with a much higher pay and he saw that because he refrained from speaking lashan Hara he was so greatly rewarded so I want to conclude with a beautiful quote I heard from the amazing rebbit and Esther young rice Alam before you speak you are in charge of the word once you speak it is in charge of you so friends this week as our spiritual homework please think before you speak if it's lashara don't say it and just know that Hashem will always provard you from a framing and speaking of sh shalom\n"