The Morning Routine of Threadbanger

As I stepped into the Threadbanger household, I was greeted by the warm and cozy atmosphere that seemed to emanate from every corner of the room. The official Czar robe, a thoughtful gift from Corinne, hung proudly on the back of the door, serving as a reminder of the welcoming nature of the house. My host, also known as Threadbanger, began their day by saying good morning, inquiring about my sleep, and sharing a brief anecdote about a peculiar dream they had experienced overnight.

As we settled into our morning routine, Threadbanger's attention was drawn to the outdoors, where the sounds of nature were already beginning to emerge. They listened intently to the chirping birds, the rustling of leaves, and the distant clucking of chickens in their neighbors' yard. This unexpected soundtrack provided a fascinating counterpoint to the typical morning news reports that one might expect to hear. Threadbanger's reaction to the sudden appearance of poultry in their neighbor's yard was, shall we say, enthusiastic, reflecting a playful sense of humor.

With the coffee brewing and the atmosphere charged with anticipation, Threadbanger turned their attention to me and asked if I had wondered why they had invited me over for breakfast. The answer, it seemed, lay in the pursuit of something truly unique: cloud eggs. Having seen online discussions about these mysterious culinary creations, Threadbanger was determined to give them a try. As we delved into the world of cloud eggs, our conversation became increasingly animated, with Threadbanger offering their insights and expertise on this emerging trend.

As the morning progressed, we decided to take it up a notch by creating unicorn cloud eggs. The concept of unicorn eggs, I was told, was more about exploring possibilities than adhering to traditional notions. With a dash of creativity and a pinch of humor, Threadbanger set out to craft something truly remarkable. Meanwhile, the sounds of the morning continued to provide a soothing background hum – chirping birds, rustling leaves, and the distant clucking of chickens.

Just as we were about to embark on our cloud-egg-making adventure, Threadbanger declared that it was time for some news. With Alexa's assistance, they played the morning news, filling us in on the latest happenings. It was a fascinating way to begin the day – a balance of humor and substance that set the tone for what promised to be an engaging morning.

As we continued our journey into the world of cloud eggs, Threadbanger couldn't resist sharing their thoughts on various topics. With a healthy dose of sarcasm and wit, they navigated the complexities of online trends, social media, and even the mysteries of the universe (or at least, that's what it felt like). From one moment to the next, our conversation was filled with laughter, excitement, and an infectious sense of wonder.

Throughout the morning, Threadbanger embodied the spirit of creativity and exploration. Their enthusiasm for trying new things and embracing the unknown created a dynamic atmosphere that drew me in and made me feel welcome. As we sipped coffee and chatted about everything from cloud eggs to the latest news, I couldn't help but be swept up in their infectious energy.

Finally, as the morning wore on, Threadbanger declared that it was time for us to join forces and create some magic. With a shared passion for experimentation and an openness to new experiences, we embarked on our unicorn cloud-egg-making adventure. The results were nothing short of spectacular – a true testament to Threadbanger's creativity, resourcefulness, and playful sense of humor.

The morning had come to a close, but the memories of this special day would linger on. From the quirky dream that started it all to the unicorn cloud eggs that brought us together, every moment was filled with laughter, excitement, and a deep appreciation for the beauty of creativity. As I left Threadbanger's household, I felt grateful for the opportunity to share in their morning routine – an experience that would stay with me long after the day had come to an end.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enOh hey, good morning, how'd you sleep? I...uh...eh..Me, not so much. I had a weird crazy dream that Glitterforever17 cut off her ear? For a collab?I don't want to get into it...Anyways, uh, its morning time here at the Threadbanger household as you can see I am, uh I'm in my robe.The official Czar robe, Corinne got this for me as a housewarming present.Before we get started, let's see what's going on out here. Bright, godamn itThis is where I like to get my first glimpse of the morning. Oh, hey kitty. How's it going? Good morningHow are ya? Ya doing all right out here? Chasing squirrels, birds. What are you doing? Yeah, listen to some of those morning sounds, huh?Oh, yeah, that's nice.Listen-listen to this morning voice, huh? Oh, and then these motherfuckers they got chickens over there in their yardYeah, I guess that's what you get for living on the mountains of North Carolina. Your neighbors,they just get to raise poultry. Fuckin chickens. Kitty, how'd you sleep? Yeah, you're still tired, too, I see.You've probably wondered why I invited you over this morning and it's simple, breakfast is the most important part of the goddamn day!and I saw this on the internet the other dayEveryone's going crazy over these fuckin cloud eggs. So I decided, hey, I got some eggs in here somewhereLet's make some cloud eggs this morning. Me. And you. Huh? Oh, and *gibberish and assorted noises*Even better. You know, it's my job to figure out how to make things a little bit coolerSo this morning we're gonna be making...Unicorn cloud eggs, right everybody still over that unicorn bullshitI don't know. We're gonna find out. But before any of that starts we gotta get some fuckin coffee. Jesus Christ! Let's get started shall we! *chuckling*hehehe oh shitOhh yeah, that's the stuff. Mmm! Ah. Ooh!While we're at it, why don't we get a little bit of news for today? Hey Alexa, play the newsAlexa: \"Here's your flash briefing.\"See what's going on todayAlexa: \"A new medical study on the effects of marijuana use confirms that everyone knows you're high and that you'll most likely never stop feeling like this-\"What the fuck..?Step one: get your eggs here. OhWhat the fuck. Where are the goddamn eggs!? Fuckin tortiLLas, cheese, lemons... OhhhYou gotta be fucking kidding me. Aww, I'm not going to the store in my robeI'm gonna have to... sneak on over to the neighbor's house and get some eggs from them, son of a bitch. Ugh so bright out here goddamitI hear them every morning. I think they're over in this direction. Somewhere over here. UghI gotta cut the goddamn grass out here. Jesus Christ. Ugh... all right. I'm coming chickens. Oh, good god.I hear them there they're right through thereJesus what the fuck is this place. Hold on I hear 'em I hear 'em. *whispering* I think they're right over here. Oh, there you are. I see you back thereAlright, here we go, here we go!🎶Here chicky chicky chicky chicky chicky chicky chickys🎶Guys got any eggs Shh be quiet be quiet be quiet okayHey, good morning! Bak bak bak! You're the guys making all this fucking noise in the morning? Jesus Christ. Alright, we have found the chickens ShhhhEverybody just calm down be very quiet you especially Shh. Alright. Hey chickie chickie chickie. Oh, yeah look at all these... Huh? Just gonna...Grab a couple of these over here don't mind me. Ooh that's warm. All right. Can I get this one? Yeah! Hi! Okay.You're a nice chicken. Okay, a couple more here. Oh, yeahAll right, I hear ya, I know. I'll be out of here in a minuteAll right, okay. Just relax, got it got it. This should be plenty. Cloud eggs coming up! You ever had a cloud egg before huh?All right mission accomplishedNeighbor Man (and owner of these chickens): Hey! What the hell you kids doin in my lawn?Rob: What? Oh shitNeighbor: Get outta there! This is my property! I see you! Go on out! Get! You better run!Rob: Which way is it?Neighbor: You kids get outta my..Rob: Shit! Oh god... *wow rob great way to greet your neighbors* Back to the house, back to the house.Okay, wooh! Oh, alright. We got em. *laughing*Well, that's one way to get your eggs in the morning *i swear to god rob*Huh!? Look at that! We got some eggs!Fresh from the rooster's ass!All right! Let's make some fuckin cloud eggs!Let's turn the stove on here 400 degrees, get that going. Boom.Now this is the, uh, the fancy way that you crack eggs. The ladies they fucking go crazy over thisIt's the one-handed egg crack. You do a little bit of this crack it around the side and then one hand the split, huh?No, shell no nothing in there. Do another one of these hereCrack-itty-crack, don't talk back. Boom get an eggspert over here. Super easy way to remove the yolks out of the bowlCheck this out. You take an old water bottle you squeeze it and then watch this. What's this. Bloop? Huh?How f-(bleep)-kin crazy is that? Oh, that's grossOh, yeah, make sure you get the rest of that dead fetus membrane out of here. You want to save these yolks?So you just plop those boom back into another bowl?GrossCorinne: What are you doing in here? It's too early. I'm gonna...Rob: Heeeyyy good morning! Look who it is!Both: OhhhhRob: Good morning myCorinne: NooooRob:My love, I'll make a breakfast for us. Corinne: What are you making? Rob: I'm making cloud eggsCorinne: The fuck is a cloud egg? Rob: oh, you're gonna find out! Corinne: Do we have coffee? Rob: coffee right here. Boom.Corinne: Um, i'm going to the gym.Rob: Oh, she's going to the gym. I think you're gonna probably miss out on these cloud eggsCorinne: Well, hopefully they're done by the time I get back. I know how long it takes youRob: No these it takes like 10 minutes to make these thingsCorinne: I've heard that before.Rob: Alright, so this is what we're looking at down herewe got two eggs in each one of these things and now we're just gonna take our neon food coloring over hereand we're gonna make these motherf-(bleep)-kers unicorn.alright next step you're gonna need one of these things. uhh a blender doohickey. Here we goSo for what I've read you do this for about two or three minutes until some large peaks formI thinkNot what that means before any of you fuckin judge me in the comments that forgot to put in salt and pepperLike an asshole you got a season your eggs people boom tasty eggs. Oh, yeah. Look at thatThose are some peaks and valleys I think. All right last but not least we got the purple one over hereCheck this one out. Oh, yeah get in there. Get. In. There.There this is looking fucking gross as sh-(bleep)t.Alright now you give yourself a baking tray put some aluminum foil on top grab some cooking sprayThen you scoop out the eggs and you put them on there just like thatApparently make like a little pocket in the middle for the yolk. Get some of this hereLook at that f-(bleep)-kin cloud in a bowl. I'm running out of room here. Hold on. I'm getting another tray ready over hereAll right, I gotta hurry up here. Corinne's gonna be back from the gym any moment. Oh, yeah.Boom now since we got some left in each bowl, I'm gonna make maybe just like a whole hodgepodge of them. How about that?Yeah, now we're talking. Get a whole little shmorgasbord. Shmorgasbord even know what that word means?Do I even know what that word means? All right DIY cloud eggs going in. Oh, yeah. You ready for this?We got to put four minutes on the counter here at 400 degreesAll right, the countdown begins a few moments laterOkay, all right, they're ready let's see what these things look like ohShit ohDamn, look at these. Oh, I like that one the best now you take the yoke, you put it right on top here. BoomFucking unicorn cloud eggs. All right throw these in for another four minutesRob: Oh, you look all sorts of worked out. Corinne: Yeah, I've been gone for an hour and a half.Thought they'd be ready by now. Rob: Where are you going? Breakfast is almost ready. Taking the cat for a walk?But that... it's gonna be time any minute.Well, you know what then it's just you and me for breakfast, huh? Just hanging out like the old days. Oh shitHere's the countdown. You ready? 5 4 3 2 1That's the eggs are finished dance, okay, okay. All right. Got it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you guys. Okay ChristYou ready? Here it is. *angelic music*Oh damn, dog, here we are. Oh, yeah. We did it. Look at that.That's the unicorn egg right there. Imagine having that for breakfast. All right eggs up.Oh shit yeah, that's the thumbnail right there. We did it. Holy shit unicorn cloud eggs, everybody.Yeah, hot damn it breakfast the champions. Oh, you know what? I forgot all about the goddamn baconWait, does any of my neighbors have any pigs? No? Corinne: You're not killing pigs today.All right, microwave bacon. How about that?Boom. Well, let's get this breakfast started who wants some eggs. Look at thatIf this was any cloudier, this would just be floating in the air. All right, hold on. Hold on. Here we goIt's like a foamy egg it's not bad be honest. It's not bad at all. This is delicious actually Holy shit! HmmGet that yoke in there just stuck in your teeth a little bit. oh-oh bacon. OhThis is some delicious shit right here, well, it's good with some orange juiceCorrine: Why are you drinking from the fuckin bottle? Rob: What? Corinne: That's not just your orange juice.Rob: It is nowCorrine: GoddamnitWait, wait, fuck I didn't even give you any hold on. Hold on take a little nibble of that. Huh, fucking delicious.You gotta taste these you got to take a bite. Just take a bite. Here we go folksCorrine: It's weird.Rob:Yes, like a foamy airy egg,Corrine: You seasoned it well.Rob: Oh shit. She's going back in for a second bite. That means she likes itCorrine: Well it's pretty good, actually.Rob: No, well, that's just because I'm an egg-cellent chef.Haha that one came out of nowhere. Boom. That's it.Fucking consensus is in: Corinne likes it.This is gonna be a new fuckin Instagram tripWe've just started the next fucking huge food trend you see that popping up all over the internet mine right here thread bangerstarted the unicorn cloud eggSensation which will soon be sweeping the f(bleep)in nation. Oh, you know what?Galaxy cloud eggs, huh?Corrine: That would be somethingRob: I knowCorrine: You didnt give kitty any she wants someOkay, well kitty here you ready cloud eggs check these out what do you think no eat the fucking eggsGoddamnit, alright, I really appreciate you joining us for breakfastIf you try these, uh, let me know take picture of them snap them upThrow em at um Instagram thread banger Studios is our handle over thereAnd if you see anyone else fuckin copying this recipe, you tell me cuz I'm putting a copyright on the shit right nowSo you don't fuckin steal my egg recipes or what?Corrine: Are you literally every project you have done has been you stealing somebody else's project. SoDo me a favor like up this video subscribe if you haven't done that already we're close to 4 million subscribersFuck, we've been close to 4 million subscribers for like a year hit that BellNotification thing and all that bullshit. I'll see you around here next time maybe for lunch maybe for a man vs. Dinner. Who knows?We'll see you then\n"