Teenage Challenge - Top Gear - Series 13 - BBC

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enThe following morning,we were told to reportto our test track for the next challenge.Oddly, though, the man in the white coatwas nowhere to be seen.What was the actual colour of your car?-Red. It actually was...-No, no, no. Amber gold.Amber gold. Can you rememberthe exact colour of yours?Sunrise yellow.Lads!Hey, that's...This man's destroying your Volvo.Are you gonna sort him out?The psychopath with the forkliftthen did the same to my Golfand Hammond's Hyundai.Mind the body kit!This does feel like a terrible...Well, hopefully, this...This had better be good.\"As you are 17, it is certainthat at some point in the near future,you will roll your car.So, you must now mend it in such a waythat your parents won't be ableto spot the damage.This is to find out...This is to find outhow easy they are to repair.\"So, right, we'd better get these...-Well, let's get them indoors...-Yeah....and break out the hammers.Richard, however, decidedhe didn't need a hammer.And straightaway, I've improved it.God, a horse of a... Ah! Ah! Argh!You don't need hammers and shouting.See this bit here, small scuff,watch that disappear,thanks to the magic of polish.With the roof done,I now have to sort the bonnet.Here's a tip. Should you ever rollyour coupe, stylish.And need to straighten a dent,here's what you do.That's not... Yeah.Jeremy, meanwhile, was cheating.One thing I've learnedis that all firemen have at some pointcrashed their carswhen they were teenagers.So, I've borrowed a fireman.Did you ever crash a car?-I certainly did.-When you were 17?RS Turbo, Greenham Common,straight through the fence.That's the... So you understandthe plight of the 17-year-oldwho has stuffed his mom's car?Feeling your pain.So, do you think you could use somefireman equipment to make that like new?That's not what they're for.There were no fires in Surrey.It's too middle class.Spray it the same colour as the car.After just two hours of hard work...It's very important to turn the clothfrequently....we had made no difference whatsoever.Yeah, that's plastic.I had to do plastic as wellbecause the fireman's lift has ratherchanged the shape of the windscreen hole.-Is it...-Then another challenge arrived.Let's have a look.Okay.\"You will now race against the clockto see which car is the fastest.\"You have to go down the main straight,round the Hammerhead, do a handbrake turnand come back the other way.\"That doesn't sound very hard.Oh, hang on. No, it says, \"The trackhas been littered with obstaclesand you'll have five seconds added toyour time for every object you don't hit.\"-Don't hit?-Well, that's what it says.It was right.The track was litteredwith all the flotsamthat teenagers like to crash into.And then, at the finish line,there was a gap between two parked carsthat everyone, except a 17-year-old,can see isn't wide enough.We also discoveredthat our handbrake turnswould be judged by three teenage girls.That actually makes sense because as men,we know that nothing turnsa 17-year-old girl on morethan a well-executed handbrake turn.Oh, God, yeah, fact.It's like, you know,a peacock has its plumage.Those birds in the jungle,they attract a mate with dancing about.-We have the handbrake. It's...-What it's for.-I have no tail feathers.-But I can do this!Interestingly, girls will always say,\"No, we're not interested.\"Oh, they never show it.They never have ever shown it.-They're suppressing it very well-Yeah, right.Very effectively.Armed with this new informationabout women,James decided to get some practise......while we talked to the girls.I've got a motorbike.-That's nice.-Yeah.Have you seen him? He's rubbish.I'm much better.I did one yesterday at Glastonburyand it was brilliant.And...-That's him being rubbish.-That's him...-I did a huge one.-He just can't do it. He can't do it.And he's got no penis'cause it came off once.With James cleared off the track,I lined up for the off.Oh, that was a blinding start!What do you reckon his approachis gonna be?-Fast.-Violent.Oh, gotta hit this. Missed!-Oh, that's the bus shelter.-Oh, the bus shelter's good.This is like any 17-year-oldcoming home from work.He's got to the flower stall.Oh, my God, that's substantial!Yee-ha!That was strangely satisfying.Roadworks.That's good. Wheelie bins.Fantastic!Sadly, the handbrake turn was a disaster.There's nothing I can doabout the washer bottle.That is a consequence of the accident.Oh, that was still there!Holy cow! Through we go!Yes!James was next.Go!Yes, yes, do it.Oh, for God's sake.No.He's missed the car.Oh, neat!Down the back straight, it was hard to seewhy he'd bothered with a helmet.Oh, well, Mom, I've just beento the Post Office.I've got a new stamper.But then as he approached the girls,all became clear.They're hot for James May right now!I might as well have cut my penis offfor all the good that did.Oh, yes. Good idea! Quick, quick, quick!I know what you're thinking.I want to do it too.There you go. Perfect.Yeah!That's not gone quite as well.So now, it was all down to me.So they've both missed the car,the first obstacle. I won't.Go!Yeah, you see? Oh, yeah.Thirty-five seconds before he movedmore than a yard.Right, it's round the Hammerheadin the normal manner.Oh, what a pillock.You all right?-Dead.-Really?Yeah. Yeah.Anyway...-Back to the studio.-That's my line!\n"