The Crash Pad Project: A Descent into Madness

We built the crash pad, and we thought it was done. The bottom fell off, and our enthusiasm quickly turned to despair. We were met with a bleak reality, and our confidence waned. "Alright, so you built your..." My friend trailed off as he gazed at the wreckage before him. "The bottom fell off," I muttered, my voice laced with disappointment.

We tried to salvage what was left, but it seemed like a losing battle. "It doesn't even... The bottom fell off," I said again, this time more resolutely. My friend nodded in agreement. We both knew that the crash pad was beyond repair. My friend's response, however, was optimistic: "Alright, well." It was a phrase that belied his frustration.

As we stood there, staring at the wreckage, my friend's gaze fell upon mine. I had to put this back inside because it did just fall off right now. My friend chuckled wryly. "Okay that's fair," he said, and our banter continued as we worked to rebuild what was left of our crash pad.

The Crashers: A Tale of Two Makers

My friend's attempt at creating a crasher was met with skepticism. His creation looked like something a bird had made. "Isn't that good, though?" I asked, my tone light. My friend chuckled in response. "Birds make really...good...things!" He proudly displayed his finished product: it was whole, spongy, and fluff.

I couldn't help but be charmed by my friend's creation. Mine, on the other hand, was more of a mess. The box provided support, but it was held together with rubber bands and duct tape. I had wrapped tissue paper inside with rubber bands to add some extra stability, but it looked like a Frankenstein's monster of craft supplies.

As we compared our creations, my friend revealed his latest masterpiece: a small cylindrical box with a rubber band on top. It was clear that he hadn't listened to the instructions and didn't want to admit it. My friend laughed and patted him on the back, saying "Nice-Nice job." I couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all.

The Envelope: A Side Project

In the midst of our crash pad debacle, my friend suddenly remembered an envelope he needed to finish. He tried to create a cushion for it, but things quickly took a turn for the worse. "Four minutes this time... M: 4 minutes, you think?" I asked, trying to stifle a grin.

My friend sheepishly admitted that they were unsure if the material would work. The instructions weren't clear, and they didn't want to take any chances. As we watched, my friend's creation began to take shape. They cut out the materials and started building... until it fell apart in their hands.

The Scissors: A Sudden Appearance

Just as our conversation was reaching a boiling point, my friend's gaze fell upon something new: scissors. "Where's the scissors?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. My friend pointed to a nearby box, and we both laughed at the absurdity of it all.

With scissors in hand, my friend set about cutting out their next creation. They worked tirelessly, determined to prove that they could create something new... something better than before. As the minutes ticked by, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement.

The Bloop-ening: The Final Straw

Just as we were getting into the swing of things, my friend's emotions boiled over. "I hate this game," they exclaimed, their voice barely above a whisper. I tried to comfort them, but it was too late. The dam had burst, and our conversation descended into chaos.

As the minutes ticked by, my friend began to break down. Tears streamed down their face as they wailed, "Oh... Oh..." My response? A callous remark: "...Ok." It was a moment of pure madness, one that left us both stunned and bewildered.

In the end, we stood there, staring at each other in confusion. The crash pad lay in ruins before us, a testament to our failed attempts at creativity. And yet... as I looked around at my friend's chaotic creations, something clicked. Maybe it was the absurdity of it all, or maybe it was just the madness that had taken over, but for one moment, I felt a sense of joy.

We stood there, frozen in time, as our conversation continued to spiral out of control. And in that moment, I knew that we would never be the same again.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enMark: Welcome! To.. Markiplier! Makes!EGGHOLDSAFETYNETBASKETTOWERPILEEgg.Drop....catcher.M: It's- it's an egg. Y-you drop an egginto this thing...that you make to make the egg not break.*S M A C K*We all did this.Alienplier: All of us have done this.And I am not just using this as a redemption, becauseWhen I did it, my teacher just so happened toMISS...My catcher...And then they decided not to redo it,because that counted as a break.Which is the most BULLSHIT THINGin the HISTORY OF BULLSHIT!But this isn't the reason why I'm doing this over again.That would be petty.That would be ridiculous,and that would be going back to a childhood that frankly,Things don't really matter, it's just an egg drop!If they didn't wanna do it again, that's their own rules.their own dumb, stupid, stupid rulesWhat are you doing?Anyway, these are the eggs we're gonna do!These eggs are not broken.What, the hell is that?OH, that's your pie!Ethan: *laughs*M: There ya go, buddy...M: We're gonna make two different types of protectors.We're going to make an egg crash pad.We're going to drop the egg, from about a story up.Into this thing, we'll get three tries a pieceSo if there's some FLUKE where the egg doesn't go into the basketThat won't count cause we'll do it again, OK?Uhhhhh, Tyler give me the history of eggTyler: Uhhh there once wasthis debate about chickens and eggs and which came firstBut eggs, th-they come out of chICKensAnd... they have to be fertilized in order for them to hatchso there has to be a rooster involved so thereforeI-i-It's a-it's a tough debate because no matter what you're gonna have to haveeither two eggs or a chicken and a roosteryou can't have one or the other.And so the history of eggs is thatHen... legs... lays them.M: You didn't really reach a conclusion there...T: Cause it's an a-unanswerable question.M: Eggnigma!M: Alright, soT: WowT: Y-you made a pun and you hate puns.M: I don't hate puns, I just hate Wade.Now we're gonna make two different types.We're gonna make the crash pad, and then we're gonna make an envelope.No parachutes allowed, there's a certain time limit of construction.Then we have certain materials, get the materials over here.E: an envelopeM: Like a-E: C A R E F U L O F T H E E G G S ! ! ! !M: Okay so we got a bunch of materials with which we can make these thingsballoons are out, that's cheating.We got sponges we got like, spritz streamer,we got, rubber cement?M: JesusE: What is that?M: I-I think it's like a masturbater...E: *laughs* ohh... yeah yeah yeahT: Oh wait-E: It's a flesh-lightM: Yeah*off-camera: There's some more, uh, STUFF behind you guys. *Amy: yeah...M: Oh yeah, over thereE: OhT: Ethan get itE: Ugh, I can'tT: It's sticky...M: (realization) it IS sticky.M: (sarcastic disgust) Aw, it's been used...E: We've got thisM: OkayWe've got...Okay, thisYou can't use the pillow itself, you have to open the pillowAnd use the stuffing in the pillowT: Oh, okayE: OkayM: Towel, yeah no, what is that?T: Spring float.M: I'll allow it.T: Toilet paper...M: Toilet paper roll.T: And more floof.M: Okay.M: The basket is where you're putting it in.So that we have a target to go for,y'know what I mean?T: Yes.M: Okay, so we're going to buildthe crash pad first, right?So these are materials that we have to work with(disgusted) Please do not put that on meEwM: That's so grossE:M: It's disgustingT: It is pretty grossM: Yeah, it's weird, right?Who would like this?There's a little squid in itE: A squid?M: Yeah, there's a little squid in itE: Oh wowE: AlrightM: Okay, alright, alrightHow much time do we have, you ask?3 minutesE: 3 minutes?M: 3 minutes to build your egg catcherE: OkayM: That sound fair?E: YeahT: SureM: Alright, set a timerAmy: Recording, nowM: Okay! These!Now, we'll only be able to build the other thingWith what we have left overSo, oh my godSo we have to-E: How much time do we have?A: A minute, thirty (seconds).M: Oh geez*POP*M: Oh fuck.M: (sheepishly) That was all part of the plan!UHA: One minute.E: No!!!!M: Any second now!*Pop*E: FuckAmy: Thirty secondsM: Oh, come onM: Give, give, give, give, give, give, give!GIVE GIVE GIVE!Amy: 10!M: Oh shitA: 5A: 4A: 3A: 2A: 1A: Time!M: Okay!E: Fuck!M: You're done.You're done, what?E: I was trying to make a shock mount!M: A shock-T:M: We built the crash padT: We built the catcherM: The catcherThe catcherAlright, so you built your-E: It doesn't even- The bottom fell offM: Alright.M: Yeah, well-T:E: Hold on, I got to put this back insideBecause it did just fall off right nowM: Okay that's fairPresent your crashersA: It looks like something a bird made...M: Isn't that good, though?Birds make really...good...things!T: Mine's whole, spongy, fluffThere's sponge, centered, tissue paper, and fluffM: Alright that sounds good.T: And duct tape.M: Mine-E: Mine-E: I'm sorry, go aheadM: Mine is free standing, the box provides supportThere's a little bit of a wall, so if it falls in it won't bounce outIt's got a lot of fluff, it's mostly streamerA little bit of pillow, and some tissuesAnd then I've wrapped a few of it inside with rubber bandsAnd the outside with duct tape.E: I-Have-A small cylindrical box, thingWith a rubber band on top, which is just going to make the egg bounce away'Cause I-Didn't listen to the instructionsM: Alright, coolNice-Nice jobSet those asideE: Can I now make the cushion?M: Sure, manAlrightOnce again we'll have 3 minutesA: Four minutes this time...M: 4 minutes, you think?A: Yeah...M: Okay, 4 minutes, we'll do 4 minutesA little more timeI would- I'm already gonna vetoYou can't just put it in this'Cause that- that seems unfair, but you can use this materialas part of it.T: Yeah, you have to cut it.M: Yeah, you have to cut that.Alright, who's ready?E & T I'm ready..A: Ethan, what are you doing?E:I don't know..M: Now what you could do is fix that up in your time,And then make your crasher.E :That's what I kinda wanted to doM: Well, do that, do that. You can do that, you can finish your envelope,and then create a crash bag.Okay?A: Ethan has started.E: I'm sorry- I'm- I- I'm...I'm- I'm crushedA: 3A: 2A: 1, go!M: Okay! I gotta see what this is about.M: OH!E: *mumbling* so upset...M: I can use that.E: *laughs*M: *dissapointed* naw I can't use that *mumbles* this doesn't make any sense at all...E: Gone.E: *laughs* I don't. I can't.M&E: *hearty chuckles**Ethan begins to panic**Exhales*E: haE: AH*Ethan slowly devolves into confusional madness* M: Indecision will get you nowhere, friend!*table abuse**sigh*(headphone warning)*distorted* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHE: *frantic* I don't know what to do...E: I'm-a-lost!M: I'm-a-lost! E: I'm-a-lost! M: You wimpy baby...A: Half way!T: Where's the scissors? M: Over there.bloop bloopT: *cry-laugh* oh shitT: Jesus...M: Oh. Did you cut that open?! Really?!E: sighSMACCCCKKKE: I hate this game.E: Oh, I could have done it a different way...Part II: The Bloop-eningT: Oh... shit.M: Why'd you take the last pink? Now mine's not going to be colour-coordinated!A: Times up!E: *Cries*M: ...Ok*Ethan begins to break down**Mark laughs*M: Jesus Christ, man!M: Are you crying?E: ...close.Alright, so I made, similar to my other oneI wanted to create a tube that uhm would have some rigidity to it up right!So that it could fall, and then hopefully (!!) it doesn't tumble out.So, It's inside of a like sploosh ball, in here.It's pretty well secured, we'll just see if it survives!T: Mine's a foamy \"T\" with the big tube for the egg to fit in and with the lid guy to cover it upAnd there's... stuffing... on that *inaudible* it's already attached to go inside to cover it upso then it goes down this way cause there's more weight on this side *random voice crack thing*And then if it kinda... bounces down it's kinda got cushioning all around so that it will just be like \"ARGHBLOOBLEBLOOB\"*awkward silence* M: OK! E: Mine is a... failure...*silence* M: YOU DIDN'T EVEN FINISH *chuckles* WHA..?E: I don't wanna talk about it... *cry laughs*M: eh heh... *chuckles* Well honestly maybe it'll work you never know.E: next!! *everyone laughs*M: *While laughing* all-- next!!So what we're gonna do nextUhh apparently, is we're gonna take theseOutside. We're gonna drop 'emWe'll have one camera up top one cameradown below; we'll drop our OWN things- we'll start with crash padswe'll finish with these*turns to point at Ethan* you'll have the same onefor both-- MULTIFUNCTIONAL!I like it!!! *Tyler laughs* M: it's good!!!E: *while laughing through tears* don't try to make mefeel better! *laughs* M: Okay... *Hehehehe*T: uhmmm... should we insert the eggs in theseguys now? M: Yeah, you can. E: insert the eggto where? M: Into your...Wait he can't do that. He has to wait*trying to insert eggs* Can't fit an egg in there... *laughs*NOOOOOOOOO (same time) Amy: WUAHHHHH M: Uh oh :/.Good luck with thaaat T: great!M: have fuun!and uh let's get outside!E: *throws something* A: how you feelin? E: I don'tfeel good. *laugh crying* I DON'T *gasps* I TRIED!*gasps* I tried to makea shock mount... My ideawas that... I was gonna put the egg in hereand it was sorta gonna rest in betweenall of 'em, and then when it hit the groundit would just sorta wobble in between.but I didn't have enough time to makea correct one so thiswas made instead...and I hate it. And now I onlyhave this! I don't have anything else!Will you catch this and put this in the basket?M: I got it. T: Wait, we're doing catchers first?M: I got it uh oh*Ethan laughs* E: God dammitM: It's fineM: Wait, you want me to move some rubber bands or something?E: No no, keep it as it isM: *While laughing* alright. E: *also slightly laughing* It's by designM: Ok, do you have the eggs?E: I have AN egg. M: You have AN eggM: You get three tries at thisE: OH. Hold on, let me get more eggs. M: Get the whole egg thingT: AlrightT: *Burp*M: I just want him to win cause I don't want to see him cryM: Cause he seems really bummed out about thisT: I really want him to hit the target I think even if it breaks if he hits the target M: If it hits the rubber bandsT: Yeah. M: YeahE: Ok, I have three eggsM: Alright, good. Did you get the whole egg thing because we're also gonna need eggs up thereE: Three tries? M&T: Three triesM: You got this, man. T: Should we move the basket closer?M: Do you need it closer, man?E: No, I can get itM: We can do it closerM: I got it*Splat sound effect as Ethan kisses the egg*M: Do you wanna like say something before it dies?E: I- I'd love youE: I love youM: *While laughing* I would love youT: Save it with loveE: *Inaudible* do that right now*Splat*T: *While laughing* Do you even aim?!E: AHHHHHHHHH M: Impaled on the fenceE: Line up the (sides?) M&T: Aim aim aimT: Further outM: No no, let him do it, he got itE: *Nervously* 3E: 2E: 1E: Lift off *Splat*M: Close!M: Very close!M: I think you've got your eye inE: I've got my eye on the prizeM&T: *Slight laughter*E: Listen here little pig. M: *Laughing*E: *Slightly laughing* You better get this for me...okE: One...Small...Victory*Splat*M and T: Awwww. You hit it, you hit itE: CATCH ME!!E: My turn is over. M: *while laughing* Tyler, get up there. T: AlrightM: Hi!M: Amy, I love youAmy: * laughing* oh wait no! I'm trying to wave, that wasn't a no. M: OhM: I like that the corpse of the one is still on the corner thereT: Alright big boyT: Egg boy. It even says \"EB\"T: You're gonna live!T: Believe and have faith in the free fall in the cushion belowT: HaM: ooo...M: It lived!E: WOO!T: Egg boy number two,you saw that guy do ityou got this!Trust and have faithM: oooT: That one brokeM: Oh, yeah, we got a crack. All right, that one's dead, but it's okay.T: Big man...! It's up to you!!! ...Live!!T: WOO! M: No, oh, that's a break.T: WHAT?!!??!?! M: yeah .....yep....sorry.....E: But you got one! Isn't one all you need? M: You got one!M: No, well... now we just gotta see if- if I can get two, I win.Voice off camera:Huh. M: Right?M: Hi... Amy, I love youM:Okay....M: That's a lot farther than I thought it'd be... Okay, I realized my flaw now; I made my target real small.M: Uhh.... you're an inanimate object, but if you land in this I'll give you... a million dollars.*plop*M: Oh.... did he make it?!T: You have a live!M: *GASP*E: You did live!M: Can you straighten my crash pad just a little bit?T: You didn't fluff mine back!M: You didn't ask me to. E: That good? M: That's good! *laughs*T: Damn it!! *laughs*M: You didn't- you didn't ask me to!!!*SPLAT*Is that.... two???T: Nope. Broke. Wait... (M: ahhhh) no... wait... *gasp* it lived!*GASP from mark*E: Could you do all three though? That's the goal!E: A L L T H R E E S U R V I V O R SE: Do you need a correction?M: Uhhhh just slightly... to your left just...M: Terribly slightly.E: That good?M: *smooch* Yes, it is.M: *whispers* Come on....THUNK...... *gasp*T: No he broke. M: AHGHHHH damn it!!!E: But you're still- what???M: STILL TWO!!! YAY!!! *laughter*M: Yeah, that was quite a bounce on that one, unfortunatelyT: You actually hit the edge of the cardboard with all of 'em...M: Oh, oops!T: Yeah, none of them actually went in your tissue paper. They just bounced and survivedM: That just shows the rigidity of my build, and how... capable I was!!!E: Do you want to drop one more egg??? For fun???M: Uh....T: Ethan lift me!!M: Eh....A: Throw it up!M: I can go... I can go lower... yeah!M: Throw it, just throw it!T: Alright... are you ready?M: yeah. T: WHOOPM: Heughghughh. Oh! *laughter*T: WHOOM: HeuhehhueuhhE: ho ho heh he I like that...!T: Wait, combine all three of ours to the power!M: Oh... not both at once.T: What... combine our pads?No.*kerSPLAT* No, (T: that one broke.) that one-that one fell off- that one stuck to my thumb on the way down. *Tyler laughs**plop* Yeah, that one *SPLUNK* did it too. *Tyler and Ethan laugh*M: They stuck to my thumbM: On the way down, that was not my fault.M: Okay... since I'm already up here, I'll do my other one.M: I already know this is gonna survive.T: Is it- are we put- letting it land in the crate or should it be the concrete? Because...M: Concrete. E: Concrete? M: All right... Three.... two.... one....*splat*M: AWWWWW T: AWHHWHh it brOKE *laughter* M: It FELLT: It flipped over!E: Ready? M: *laughing* oh thanksM: Okay, oh boy, okay maybe my designM: Not so flawless after all. E: do you want me to leave the body M: *laughs* leave the bodyE: Well move over a little bit though, you don't want it landing on the body. M: You're right that just be cruel. E: It'd be disrespectfulM: Alright, here we go big guy we go big guy. Here we go big guy. Don't turn over!M: *Gasp*E: Oh?E: it's safe. M: *Through laughter* YayyyyM: There's a little bit of blood in here but I think that's okayM: ThreeM: TwoM: One*Splat*All: Ohhh. E: That doesn't sound goodT: Oh he, he exploded*All laugh*M: Oh no. E: Oh it's coming out the bottomE: Oh no!M: Alright well...one for threeM: EwwwE: Tyler do you want to go? T: I'll go, yeah. M: Yeah, Okay. E: Yuck. M: Look I did okay, these guys I know they rigged itM: Tyler is such a blowhard. He started blowing as soon as it got down below his eye levelM: He pushed it down twist it side ways. It really undid me unfair but you know, I played by the rulesA: Where you going?E: Do you think a fall from this height would kill me?T: All right fluff boy. E: This is it. M: I just want to tell you...that you suck!T: I believe in you. E: That's gonna get so grossE: Oh noM: Well, do you want the good news or the bad news? T: He brokeM: Yeah, he did what it kind of spooshed all out- no, it's at the bottom. There's no good newsM: You've got a lot of entry points, you could put it in a lot of different places. T: You're rightT:Mm-hmm...ahhh. E: Just put it in a holeT: I'm doing that, I'm putting it in a hole. A: I think he's repackaging it, he's kinda like working on itT: I'm putting the fluff back into its fluff balls. M: I think it's cheating. A: I think it's cheating. T: I'm done. M: All rightT: All right, I believe in you. All rightAll: OoooE: Promising M: Maybe? T: In that big fluff ball there M: where E: there's no trace of the bodyM:We're good. T: WOOM: Well, your your contraption ain't doing so good. It's kind of falling apart. Hang on, I'll toss up this pieceT: Okay yet you should have shuffled the fluff into a rubberbandT: Look got it...kind of. M: I say you only get 20 seconds to reloadM: Otherwise that does seem a little cheaty T: One more you could do it I could see you...I can see himM: Okay, that's not a good thing if you can see it that's probably not. You should probably hide itM: ohhh E: *While laughing* Did that come out of the top? M: *also laughing* yeahhhhE: And you see him one last timeM: There he isT: We tied M: On that one E: my turn...this is where I will redeem myselfM: OkayyM: All right...listen. Tyler is a cheating cuck but you know, I got to give it to him. He did get that oneM: The other ones though were really terrible. Mine was only a victim of Tyler's sabotage. I didn't sabotage him at allM: He is just a huge douche sometimes and I just will hope he knows that before he's deadM: which could be soon...M: Hi Tyler T: Hi! M: Hey, how you doing? T: I'm good M: feel like you're alive?T: I feel like my baby's dead (M: Alright, cool) a lot of them. M: Great. T: I saved one. You know, I'm 33 and a third percent...success rateM: That's not good, manM: It's very poor. All right man, maybe you should put it inside the thing. E: No, you don't know how it works. M: I don'tE: Understand the science behind it. M: I don't you know, I'm sorry manE: *quietly* This ones for all the marbles*smooch*T: I feel like its just gonna-*splat* M&T: Yeah M: That's what I was worried aboutM: You know what's good is, uh, the corpses of the failed ones will add to the cushioningT: *Laughs* M: so on the third one, it should really- or don't try to catch itT: *laughs*Are you so ashamed of it you just don't want to touch it?E: *laughing* Let's try againE: This one's the one okay? M: Okay. Is it inside it this time? E: Yeah M: Alright, goodT: *laughing* It's just in the bottomM: No, this will be good. I trust this*Splat**Tyler laughs*M: It did the same thing man. T: *laughs*E: Is he dead?M&T: *Laugh*M: Yeah man. He's real deadE: Just toss me everything*Mark laughs* M: man, I'm sorry..here you goM: Last try man. Last try, best tryM: He's got thisM: Right Tyler? T: I b- I believe he does if history has shown usT: Blind squirrel gets a nutM: What?! T: I don't knowM: Okay(Ethan quietly murmuring) You will never forget this day...You will never forget this dayYou will never forget this day...*Manic laughing from Ethan and dramatic music**Mainly Mark laughing and the sound of the egg repeatedly droppingM: All right, okayT: MARK!!!M: *While laughing* Oh no your faceM: All right, let's see if there's one- T: THE BLOOD YOUR CHILD IS ON MY FACE!!!M: We've got a live one! E: YESM: Using the *stutters* horrifying other eggs as cushioningE: I KNEW it would workE: That's one for me, that's one for me! M: All right, but your ratio really goes down because you got a lot more broken nowE: No no noM: I mean, I'll give you this one but- (E: *quietly* good)What it this- what is this like, five other eggs? E: It was the rest of the eggsM: So you lost two more this time...five...seven. You've lost ten eggs to one good oneM: Tyler ain't doing so good. E: But that egg is, (M: You right) and that's what counts. E: All rightE: Put him on the table. M: Good jo- good job, manM: Real proud of youE: Ah!*Tyler in distance* Can you get me paper towel?M: We don't have paper towel E: AHH AHHE: *While laughing* NevermindM&E: *laughing* E: That was an honest...scream of horror- T: YOU SCARED ME!M: All right, well this has been another successful markiplier makes as the standings goM: I won the first round for the crash padM: Uh...Tyler and I tied for the last one if you go by Ethan's weird rules, we all tied on the last oneM: but I don't think that's trueE: *quietly* It's trueT: How long is this apple juice been here?M: Anyway, yeahM: so if you got other ideas for Markiplier MakesM: put 'em in the comments below, if you want to see other Markiplier Makes that we've doneM: Check out the description. Also check out the description for this guy, Tyler hereM: He streams at apocalypto_12 and that's Crankgameplays THE Crankgameplays you can find him on Youtube and sometimes TwitchM: And uh, my name has been Markiplier. Thanks so much. And as always, we'll see you next one. Buh bye. T: I'm on twitch\n"