I Feel Like I'm In This Big Rush to Achieve All These Things

As I sit here in Danny's office, surrounded by cool lights and a sense of calm, I find myself reflecting on my post-graduate life. It's been a whirlwind few months since graduation, and suddenly, the world feels like it's moving at an incredible pace. Every decision, every move I make, seems to be influenced by this overwhelming sense of responsibility. I feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of planning and preparation, always thinking about what comes next.

I have to admit, when I was in college, I used to only drink at parties because it made me feel something – like I belonged, or was part of a community. Now, as an adult, I've found myself relying on much more subtle comforts. A little Mark Mix in my smoothie here, a glass of wine with dinner there. It's almost...adult-like? It sounds silly now, but it's true. And when I started doing a skincare routine – yes, even at 22, wrinkles are starting to show up – it was like a whole new level of self-care and attention to my own needs.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that this sense of responsibility is suffocating me. I feel like I'm ticking away, with each passing day bringing me closer to...what? The realization that I'll eventually be tied down to a life plan? That I won't have as much freedom as I do now? It's a scary thought, one that makes me feel anxious and uncertain. And then there are the social media influencers who seem to have it all together – Kylie Jenner, for example, with her billion-dollar makeup business at just 22 years old.

I find myself constantly comparing my own life to theirs, wondering when I'll reach that level of success. Is it too early to start making plans? Shouldn't I be focusing on the present moment, rather than worrying about what's coming next? It's like I'm stuck in this cycle of "what if" and "when will I...". But at the same time, there are moments when I feel incredibly young – when I think I can just pick up and move to Paris or Hawaii whenever I want. When I realize that I don't have to follow any particular path, as long as I set my mind to it.

Growing up, my whole life seemed so planned out – elementary school, middle school, high school, college...and then, of course, the inevitable progression to career and adulthood. But now, with graduation behind me, I'm faced with a daunting realization: what do I really want to do? What are my dreams, beyond just pursuing a certain career or living in a particular state? It's like I'm being forced to confront the fact that I don't have all the answers – and that's both terrifying and liberating.

Sometimes, when people ask me about my plans for the future, it feels like there is no ending to our conversation. There's always one more question, one more consideration, before we can finally wrap up the topic. It's exhausting, but also exhilarating – because I know that I have the power to create the life I want, if I just take the leap.

As I wind down for the day, surrounded by the cool glow of Danny's office lights, I realize that this is what adulting feels like – a mix of anxiety and excitement, planning and spontaneity. It's not always easy, but it's definitely worth it.

I'll be honest, sometimes I feel like I'm still just a little kid, thinking about all the things I want to do before I turn 30. When will I move to Paris? Will I have kids? What will my career look like? The list goes on and on – and it's both thrilling and terrifying to think that I have so much potential, but also so many unknowns.

One of the most interesting things about being an adult is realizing just how much control you have over your own life. With a job, a place to live, and all the trappings of adulthood come with a certain level of responsibility – but also the freedom to make choices that align with who I am and what I want.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling overwhelmed or uncertain, I try to remind myself that it's okay to not have all the answers. That sometimes, taking a leap of faith is exactly what I need to do next. Whether it's quitting my video editing job to pursue a new career or moving to a different state for a fresh start – it's about trusting in myself and my abilities.

That being said, there are moments when that sense of uncertainty can be overwhelming. When will I move on from this life plan? Will I ever feel truly settled down and content? The not knowing is what makes adulthood so complex – and also so incredibly exciting.

I have to admit, I often find myself getting lost in social media, scrolling through the feeds of people who seem to have it all together. Kylie Jenner's business empire at 22 is a constant reminder that success comes early for some – but for me? It's still just a dream.

But despite the doubts and fears, I know that this sense of uncertainty is what drives me forward. What if I take a chance on something new? What if I follow my heart instead of playing it safe? The possibilities are endless – and the only way to truly live is to take that first step.

As I sign off for the night, surrounded by the soft glow of Danny's office lights, I feel a sense of calm wash over me. Maybe tomorrow will be different – or maybe not. All I can do is trust in myself and my own abilities.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enforeign morning so much has been changing i know you guys know i just graduated college in may so i moved home with my parents and then i moved back to austin with my boyfriend which is a big change and i also have a new job so i feel like one of maybe the biggest changes is my job if anyone saw my work week work day in my life something like that that i made over the summer i had a different job at the time that i also really liked but now i am a youtube editor which is something i have always wanted to do that's a lie not always but senior year of college is definitely what i wanted to do and it's very cool now to say that i'm actually doing it the first youtuber i started editing for in like september was justin burke this is his channel so if you watch any of his recent videos that's me and then i also just recently started editing for gia goodrich she's very awesome very cool it's definitely been weird navigating working at home and working for yourself because i'm freelance technically some days i'll have nothing to do and i just have like a whole five day weekend basically and then other days i'm just editing until like midnight i feel like about a place in my life right now where i really like the kind of crazy no schedule of freelance work so it's definitely been interesting but i do really love it like this is like my dream career and it's very cool that i'm already able to start doing it i mean of course i still have future goals of i want to add on some more clients and there's like certain youtubers i would love and die to work with but i feel like i'm at a very good place for having just graduated less than a year ago i saw this tweet the other day this is going to be really cheesy but let me find it okay it said i feel like i'm constantly worrying about the next part of my life without realizing that i'm right in the middle of what i used to look forward to ever since i quit my nine to five and started editing full time i've honestly been looking like kind of really stressed again this is so cheesy but once i saw that tweet i feel like it kind of made me realize like this is exactly what i was wanting to do like six months ago and now i'm doing it like that's so cool like that's really cool i feel like that's like a good reminder like every month or few months or a year or something to like look at what you have currently and how that was something you didn't have and you always wanted that it made me think about like if i could have a conversation with like 18 year old me i feel like 18 year old me would be so pumped about my life right now my life is not like peaches and roses 24 7 but i don't know it's kind of cool to think about like how 18 year old mew would react to me like describing my current life or our current life because 18 year old me is also me this is getting really meta and deep for no reason it just makes you think you know okay i finished makeup i want to go get dressed also working at home and with covid where i don't really hang out people that much i have literally been in my pajamas for two weeks straight i wish i was kidding so i'm gonna get dressed today because i'm filming and i feel like i need to be presentable but also it just needs to happen so why am i sitting here and not at my desk you might ask i don't know why i just like cannot work at desks i can't just like sit in one place like in a straight back chair like this for like eight hours like that it just drives me crazy and so i like to move around the apartment all day while i edit so yeah we're starting off our morning in my favorite spot in the whole apartment this chair another thing i cannot function without is hourly schedules i always took my hourly schedules the night before and which is on a random piece of paper and we've already done two of the items on our schedule so let's get to the third okay we're literally out of like everything in our fridge right now we really desperately need to go grocery shopping normally we're out here eating like salmon pork chops orange chicken you know all that good good stuff for lunch but we we do have a smoothie that we're making so that's healthy right also sparkling water in your smoothie is so good pro tip anyway my boyfriend is having eggs rice and veggies very hodgepodge and i'm having leftover in and out so not the healthiest best lunch but you'll take my word that we normally eat pretty good in this household you guys okay so what am i doing here i should be working but instead or shopping maybe this is a website instagram i don't know i found them by instagram called soarorite called vintage and they have the coolest clothes and it's one of those shops that's like really expensive because they're like one-of-a-kind vintage they're about to drop their valentine's clothes and i have been looking at their instagram stories every day and i really want something seems like everything is in the like 80 to like 300 range this is a bad idea okay let's shop maybe each one oh the prices are worse than i thought i really like this one and it's almost 400 oh my god okay oh that's heartbreaking all right well back to work gotta earn that money so one day i could buy something from this website it's incredible i love it so much okay bye okay now that that uh tragic shopping experience is out of the way it is time to get back to work and do more editing i got a new bullet journal if you saw my last video of my 2020 bullet journal walkthrough then you know it is january 27th and i have not started my 2021 bullet journal so it's time to play catch up these last few days of january woo exciting okay so i'm going on a run and let me just start by saying i have literally never worked out in my entire life okay well that's kind of a lie i've had like small stints where i'll work out for like a few weeks maybe a month and then i always give up i don't know i've just never enjoyed working out everyone says that like benefits of mental health it makes them stronger and i don't know about doing the wrong workouts but i always just do it because i feel like i'm supposed to work out to be healthy but i've never actually enjoyed it until now having a full-time job where i work at home and sit on the couch and work for eight hours a week plus with quarantine after i'm done working i have literally nowhere to go so now i love afternoons where i go on like a walk or run because it's literally the only time that i go outside or get any kind of exercise in college i used to walk everywhere like i probably walked like two two and a half hours a day to be honest i walked to my job i walked all my classes i walked to the grocery store to restaurants me and frank would go out places and we would walk there so it's weird coming from a place where you walk everywhere you're always with people you're always going places for four years so now post grad full-time job and quarantine that's just like all gone that is all a long way of saying i now love working out don't and now on to my stretch routine which i will link in the description below you know how i said i kind of hate working out well one thing i found to like oddly motivate me is to pick a random just like fun goal so my goal is to get my splits in the next like six months and yes i know that sounds completely random because it is there's absolutely no reason why other than the fact it just kind of sounded fun to be able to do the splits there's really no explanation but it's my current six month goal okay moving on getting a costco card was one thing i did that made me just really feel like i'm finally an adult oh my god another thing i've been doing recently is like drinking casually like i feel like in college you only drink at parties to like feel something but now i'll just like mix a little mark mix into my smoothie or have a glass of wine with dinner and it just really makes me feel like my parents in i don't know if it's bad or good i just it makes me feel really adult-like that probably sounds stupid okay anyway i just started doing a skincare routine i have a serum a moisturizer and it's like anti-wrinkle eye cream because i'm literally already getting wrinkles only 22. it's fine i'm not stressed about it at all anyway i thought we'd chat in this like room that has really cool lights i never sit here this is like danny's office i'm hoping to do a full apartment tour really really soon and then you can see the whole room because it's decorated very cool anyway i just kind of wanted to wind down and talk about some post-grad thoughts because it's honestly what i've been thinking about a lot recently i feel like slowly as i get more and more responsibilities in my life like one day i want to be married have a house have kids be settled down and there's all these things i want to do before then like i want to live in another country i want to live in a few other states i want to be like well into my career i want to have a ton of time for youtube to be like one of my main focuses in life and sometimes i feel like i'm like this clock that's like ticking and i'm gonna like expire when i'm 30. like when i'm 30 i'll have the house the kids and everything and i have to do all these things before then it doesn't help that on social media we see people like kylie jenner as like a billion dollar makeup business and all these like really successful people that are literally my age to where i just feel like i'm in this big rush to like achieve all these things so i feel like that like 80 of the time and then the other 20 of the time i feel like i'm still just like a little child like i'm only 22 like i still am a baby and i have so much time like sometimes i feel incredibly young like i could literally just like live in my parents house and like work in mcdonald's for five years and i'd only be 27 like that's not even that late to start a whole career i have these like very two conflicting like thought processes that i'm like always fighting between like do i have infinite time because i'm so young or am i like running out of time because one day i won't be able to just like pick up and move whenever because i'll have like things tying me down to a place and it's also kind of weird because i feel like growing up my whole life is planned for me like you have elementary school middle school high school college like you have this like exact track and you like never think about at least for me i never really thought much about like my own dreams and what i wanted besides like my major or something was like kind of the extent of it and now that i'm graduated it's weird to think that like i can do anything like anything i mean within reason like i have a lease but once my lease is up i could just move to paris i can move to hawaii like that takes money and you have to have a job like there's some other strings attached but for the most part like if you want to do something you can make it happen like tomorrow i could just quit video editing and like work at a floral shop or something i don't know sometimes i think that's like so cool like i can do anything if something excites me i can just do it and then i just get like really overwhelmed like when am i gonna move to paris when am i gonna live in this state when am i gonna try this other career i'm also interested in and then sometimes i tell people these things like i'm telling you guys and there's no like end to it like there's no conclusion or like final thoughts like my head just like spins continuously thinking about the future in an excited and overwhelmed and stressed and freeing way all at the same time and yeah that's kind of like the final thoughts i had for this really post-grad intro to adulting day in my life awkward thumbs up hands when i've run out of ways to organize all the thoughts in my brain i'm gonna end this video but let me know if you guys like this video i haven't done like a vlog or like a little chit chat catch up kind of video in a long time and a lot has been changing in my life so i feel like this was the perfect time to make a video like this i will see you guys next week bye uhforeign morning so much has been changing i know you guys know i just graduated college in may so i moved home with my parents and then i moved back to austin with my boyfriend which is a big change and i also have a new job so i feel like one of maybe the biggest changes is my job if anyone saw my work week work day in my life something like that that i made over the summer i had a different job at the time that i also really liked but now i am a youtube editor which is something i have always wanted to do that's a lie not always but senior year of college is definitely what i wanted to do and it's very cool now to say that i'm actually doing it the first youtuber i started editing for in like september was justin burke this is his channel so if you watch any of his recent videos that's me and then i also just recently started editing for gia goodrich she's very awesome very cool it's definitely been weird navigating working at home and working for yourself because i'm freelance technically some days i'll have nothing to do and i just have like a whole five day weekend basically and then other days i'm just editing until like midnight i feel like about a place in my life right now where i really like the kind of crazy no schedule of freelance work so it's definitely been interesting but i do really love it like this is like my dream career and it's very cool that i'm already able to start doing it i mean of course i still have future goals of i want to add on some more clients and there's like certain youtubers i would love and die to work with but i feel like i'm at a very good place for having just graduated less than a year ago i saw this tweet the other day this is going to be really cheesy but let me find it okay it said i feel like i'm constantly worrying about the next part of my life without realizing that i'm right in the middle of what i used to look forward to ever since i quit my nine to five and started editing full time i've honestly been looking like kind of really stressed again this is so cheesy but once i saw that tweet i feel like it kind of made me realize like this is exactly what i was wanting to do like six months ago and now i'm doing it like that's so cool like that's really cool i feel like that's like a good reminder like every month or few months or a year or something to like look at what you have currently and how that was something you didn't have and you always wanted that it made me think about like if i could have a conversation with like 18 year old me i feel like 18 year old me would be so pumped about my life right now my life is not like peaches and roses 24 7 but i don't know it's kind of cool to think about like how 18 year old mew would react to me like describing my current life or our current life because 18 year old me is also me this is getting really meta and deep for no reason it just makes you think you know okay i finished makeup i want to go get dressed also working at home and with covid where i don't really hang out people that much i have literally been in my pajamas for two weeks straight i wish i was kidding so i'm gonna get dressed today because i'm filming and i feel like i need to be presentable but also it just needs to happen so why am i sitting here and not at my desk you might ask i don't know why i just like cannot work at desks i can't just like sit in one place like in a straight back chair like this for like eight hours like that it just drives me crazy and so i like to move around the apartment all day while i edit so yeah we're starting off our morning in my favorite spot in the whole apartment this chair another thing i cannot function without is hourly schedules i always took my hourly schedules the night before and which is on a random piece of paper and we've already done two of the items on our schedule so let's get to the third okay we're literally out of like everything in our fridge right now we really desperately need to go grocery shopping normally we're out here eating like salmon pork chops orange chicken you know all that good good stuff for lunch but we we do have a smoothie that we're making so that's healthy right also sparkling water in your smoothie is so good pro tip anyway my boyfriend is having eggs rice and veggies very hodgepodge and i'm having leftover in and out so not the healthiest best lunch but you'll take my word that we normally eat pretty good in this household you guys okay so what am i doing here i should be working but instead or shopping maybe this is a website instagram i don't know i found them by instagram called soarorite called vintage and they have the coolest clothes and it's one of those shops that's like really expensive because they're like one-of-a-kind vintage they're about to drop their valentine's clothes and i have been looking at their instagram stories every day and i really want something seems like everything is in the like 80 to like 300 range this is a bad idea okay let's shop maybe each one oh the prices are worse than i thought i really like this one and it's almost 400 oh my god okay oh that's heartbreaking all right well back to work gotta earn that money so one day i could buy something from this website it's incredible i love it so much okay bye okay now that that uh tragic shopping experience is out of the way it is time to get back to work and do more editing i got a new bullet journal if you saw my last video of my 2020 bullet journal walkthrough then you know it is january 27th and i have not started my 2021 bullet journal so it's time to play catch up these last few days of january woo exciting okay so i'm going on a run and let me just start by saying i have literally never worked out in my entire life okay well that's kind of a lie i've had like small stints where i'll work out for like a few weeks maybe a month and then i always give up i don't know i've just never enjoyed working out everyone says that like benefits of mental health it makes them stronger and i don't know about doing the wrong workouts but i always just do it because i feel like i'm supposed to work out to be healthy but i've never actually enjoyed it until now having a full-time job where i work at home and sit on the couch and work for eight hours a week plus with quarantine after i'm done working i have literally nowhere to go so now i love afternoons where i go on like a walk or run because it's literally the only time that i go outside or get any kind of exercise in college i used to walk everywhere like i probably walked like two two and a half hours a day to be honest i walked to my job i walked all my classes i walked to the grocery store to restaurants me and frank would go out places and we would walk there so it's weird coming from a place where you walk everywhere you're always with people you're always going places for four years so now post grad full-time job and quarantine that's just like all gone that is all a long way of saying i now love working out don't and now on to my stretch routine which i will link in the description below you know how i said i kind of hate working out well one thing i found to like oddly motivate me is to pick a random just like fun goal so my goal is to get my splits in the next like six months and yes i know that sounds completely random because it is there's absolutely no reason why other than the fact it just kind of sounded fun to be able to do the splits there's really no explanation but it's my current six month goal okay moving on getting a costco card was one thing i did that made me just really feel like i'm finally an adult oh my god another thing i've been doing recently is like drinking casually like i feel like in college you only drink at parties to like feel something but now i'll just like mix a little mark mix into my smoothie or have a glass of wine with dinner and it just really makes me feel like my parents in i don't know if it's bad or good i just it makes me feel really adult-like that probably sounds stupid okay anyway i just started doing a skincare routine i have a serum a moisturizer and it's like anti-wrinkle eye cream because i'm literally already getting wrinkles only 22. it's fine i'm not stressed about it at all anyway i thought we'd chat in this like room that has really cool lights i never sit here this is like danny's office i'm hoping to do a full apartment tour really really soon and then you can see the whole room because it's decorated very cool anyway i just kind of wanted to wind down and talk about some post-grad thoughts because it's honestly what i've been thinking about a lot recently i feel like slowly as i get more and more responsibilities in my life like one day i want to be married have a house have kids be settled down and there's all these things i want to do before then like i want to live in another country i want to live in a few other states i want to be like well into my career i want to have a ton of time for youtube to be like one of my main focuses in life and sometimes i feel like i'm like this clock that's like ticking and i'm gonna like expire when i'm 30. like when i'm 30 i'll have the house the kids and everything and i have to do all these things before then it doesn't help that on social media we see people like kylie jenner as like a billion dollar makeup business and all these like really successful people that are literally my age to where i just feel like i'm in this big rush to like achieve all these things so i feel like that like 80 of the time and then the other 20 of the time i feel like i'm still just like a little child like i'm only 22 like i still am a baby and i have so much time like sometimes i feel incredibly young like i could literally just like live in my parents house and like work in mcdonald's for five years and i'd only be 27 like that's not even that late to start a whole career i have these like very two conflicting like thought processes that i'm like always fighting between like do i have infinite time because i'm so young or am i like running out of time because one day i won't be able to just like pick up and move whenever because i'll have like things tying me down to a place and it's also kind of weird because i feel like growing up my whole life is planned for me like you have elementary school middle school high school college like you have this like exact track and you like never think about at least for me i never really thought much about like my own dreams and what i wanted besides like my major or something was like kind of the extent of it and now that i'm graduated it's weird to think that like i can do anything like anything i mean within reason like i have a lease but once my lease is up i could just move to paris i can move to hawaii like that takes money and you have to have a job like there's some other strings attached but for the most part like if you want to do something you can make it happen like tomorrow i could just quit video editing and like work at a floral shop or something i don't know sometimes i think that's like so cool like i can do anything if something excites me i can just do it and then i just get like really overwhelmed like when am i gonna move to paris when am i gonna live in this state when am i gonna try this other career i'm also interested in and then sometimes i tell people these things like i'm telling you guys and there's no like end to it like there's no conclusion or like final thoughts like my head just like spins continuously thinking about the future in an excited and overwhelmed and stressed and freeing way all at the same time and yeah that's kind of like the final thoughts i had for this really post-grad intro to adulting day in my life awkward thumbs up hands when i've run out of ways to organize all the thoughts in my brain i'm gonna end this video but let me know if you guys like this video i haven't done like a vlog or like a little chit chat catch up kind of video in a long time and a lot has been changing in my life so i feel like this was the perfect time to make a video like this i will see you guys next week bye uhforeign morning so much has been changing i know you guys know i just graduated college in may so i moved home with my parents and then i moved back to austin with my boyfriend which is a big change and i also have a new job so i feel like one of maybe the biggest changes is my job if anyone saw my work week work day in my life something like that that i made over the summer i had a different job at the time that i also really liked but now i am a youtube editor which is something i have always wanted to do that's a lie not always but senior year of college is definitely what i wanted to do and it's very cool now to say that i'm actually doing it the first youtuber i started editing for in like september was justin burke this is his channel so if you watch any of his recent videos that's me and then i also just recently started editing for gia goodrich she's very awesome very cool it's definitely been weird navigating working at home and working for yourself because i'm freelance technically some days i'll have nothing to do and i just have like a whole five day weekend basically and then other days i'm just editing until like midnight i feel like about a place in my life right now where i really like the kind of crazy no schedule of freelance work so it's definitely been interesting but i do really love it like this is like my dream career and it's very cool that i'm already able to start doing it i mean of course i still have future goals of i want to add on some more clients and there's like certain youtubers i would love and die to work with but i feel like i'm at a very good place for having just graduated less than a year ago i saw this tweet the other day this is going to be really cheesy but let me find it okay it said i feel like i'm constantly worrying about the next part of my life without realizing that i'm right in the middle of what i used to look forward to ever since i quit my nine to five and started editing full time i've honestly been looking like kind of really stressed again this is so cheesy but once i saw that tweet i feel like it kind of made me realize like this is exactly what i was wanting to do like six months ago and now i'm doing it like that's so cool like that's really cool i feel like that's like a good reminder like every month or few months or a year or something to like look at what you have currently and how that was something you didn't have and you always wanted that it made me think about like if i could have a conversation with like 18 year old me i feel like 18 year old me would be so pumped about my life right now my life is not like peaches and roses 24 7 but i don't know it's kind of cool to think about like how 18 year old mew would react to me like describing my current life or our current life because 18 year old me is also me this is getting really meta and deep for no reason it just makes you think you know okay i finished makeup i want to go get dressed also working at home and with covid where i don't really hang out people that much i have literally been in my pajamas for two weeks straight i wish i was kidding so i'm gonna get dressed today because i'm filming and i feel like i need to be presentable but also it just needs to happen so why am i sitting here and not at my desk you might ask i don't know why i just like cannot work at desks i can't just like sit in one place like in a straight back chair like this for like eight hours like that it just drives me crazy and so i like to move around the apartment all day while i edit so yeah we're starting off our morning in my favorite spot in the whole apartment this chair another thing i cannot function without is hourly schedules i always took my hourly schedules the night before and which is on a random piece of paper and we've already done two of the items on our schedule so let's get to the third okay we're literally out of like everything in our fridge right now we really desperately need to go grocery shopping normally we're out here eating like salmon pork chops orange chicken you know all that good good stuff for lunch but we we do have a smoothie that we're making so that's healthy right also sparkling water in your smoothie is so good pro tip anyway my boyfriend is having eggs rice and veggies very hodgepodge and i'm having leftover in and out so not the healthiest best lunch but you'll take my word that we normally eat pretty good in this household you guys okay so what am i doing here i should be working but instead or shopping maybe this is a website instagram i don't know i found them by instagram called soarorite called vintage and they have the coolest clothes and it's one of those shops that's like really expensive because they're like one-of-a-kind vintage they're about to drop their valentine's clothes and i have been looking at their instagram stories every day and i really want something seems like everything is in the like 80 to like 300 range this is a bad idea okay let's shop maybe each one oh the prices are worse than i thought i really like this one and it's almost 400 oh my god okay oh that's heartbreaking all right well back to work gotta earn that money so one day i could buy something from this website it's incredible i love it so much okay bye okay now that that uh tragic shopping experience is out of the way it is time to get back to work and do more editing i got a new bullet journal if you saw my last video of my 2020 bullet journal walkthrough then you know it is january 27th and i have not started my 2021 bullet journal so it's time to play catch up these last few days of january woo exciting okay so i'm going on a run and let me just start by saying i have literally never worked out in my entire life okay well that's kind of a lie i've had like small stints where i'll work out for like a few weeks maybe a month and then i always give up i don't know i've just never enjoyed working out everyone says that like benefits of mental health it makes them stronger and i don't know about doing the wrong workouts but i always just do it because i feel like i'm supposed to work out to be healthy but i've never actually enjoyed it until now having a full-time job where i work at home and sit on the couch and work for eight hours a week plus with quarantine after i'm done working i have literally nowhere to go so now i love afternoons where i go on like a walk or run because it's literally the only time that i go outside or get any kind of exercise in college i used to walk everywhere like i probably walked like two two and a half hours a day to be honest i walked to my job i walked all my classes i walked to the grocery store to restaurants me and frank would go out places and we would walk there so it's weird coming from a place where you walk everywhere you're always with people you're always going places for four years so now post grad full-time job and quarantine that's just like all gone that is all a long way of saying i now love working out don't and now on to my stretch routine which i will link in the description below you know how i said i kind of hate working out well one thing i found to like oddly motivate me is to pick a random just like fun goal so my goal is to get my splits in the next like six months and yes i know that sounds completely random because it is there's absolutely no reason why other than the fact it just kind of sounded fun to be able to do the splits there's really no explanation but it's my current six month goal okay moving on getting a costco card was one thing i did that made me just really feel like i'm finally an adult oh my god another thing i've been doing recently is like drinking casually like i feel like in college you only drink at parties to like feel something but now i'll just like mix a little mark mix into my smoothie or have a glass of wine with dinner and it just really makes me feel like my parents in i don't know if it's bad or good i just it makes me feel really adult-like that probably sounds stupid okay anyway i just started doing a skincare routine i have a serum a moisturizer and it's like anti-wrinkle eye cream because i'm literally already getting wrinkles only 22. it's fine i'm not stressed about it at all anyway i thought we'd chat in this like room that has really cool lights i never sit here this is like danny's office i'm hoping to do a full apartment tour really really soon and then you can see the whole room because it's decorated very cool anyway i just kind of wanted to wind down and talk about some post-grad thoughts because it's honestly what i've been thinking about a lot recently i feel like slowly as i get more and more responsibilities in my life like one day i want to be married have a house have kids be settled down and there's all these things i want to do before then like i want to live in another country i want to live in a few other states i want to be like well into my career i want to have a ton of time for youtube to be like one of my main focuses in life and sometimes i feel like i'm like this clock that's like ticking and i'm gonna like expire when i'm 30. like when i'm 30 i'll have the house the kids and everything and i have to do all these things before then it doesn't help that on social media we see people like kylie jenner as like a billion dollar makeup business and all these like really successful people that are literally my age to where i just feel like i'm in this big rush to like achieve all these things so i feel like that like 80 of the time and then the other 20 of the time i feel like i'm still just like a little child like i'm only 22 like i still am a baby and i have so much time like sometimes i feel incredibly young like i could literally just like live in my parents house and like work in mcdonald's for five years and i'd only be 27 like that's not even that late to start a whole career i have these like very two conflicting like thought processes that i'm like always fighting between like do i have infinite time because i'm so young or am i like running out of time because one day i won't be able to just like pick up and move whenever because i'll have like things tying me down to a place and it's also kind of weird because i feel like growing up my whole life is planned for me like you have elementary school middle school high school college like you have this like exact track and you like never think about at least for me i never really thought much about like my own dreams and what i wanted besides like my major or something was like kind of the extent of it and now that i'm graduated it's weird to think that like i can do anything like anything i mean within reason like i have a lease but once my lease is up i could just move to paris i can move to hawaii like that takes money and you have to have a job like there's some other strings attached but for the most part like if you want to do something you can make it happen like tomorrow i could just quit video editing and like work at a floral shop or something i don't know sometimes i think that's like so cool like i can do anything if something excites me i can just do it and then i just get like really overwhelmed like when am i gonna move to paris when am i gonna live in this state when am i gonna try this other career i'm also interested in and then sometimes i tell people these things like i'm telling you guys and there's no like end to it like there's no conclusion or like final thoughts like my head just like spins continuously thinking about the future in an excited and overwhelmed and stressed and freeing way all at the same time and yeah that's kind of like the final thoughts i had for this really post-grad intro to adulting day in my life awkward thumbs up hands when i've run out of ways to organize all the thoughts in my brain i'm gonna end this video but let me know if you guys like this video i haven't done like a vlog or like a little chit chat catch up kind of video in a long time and a lot has been changing in my life so i feel like this was the perfect time to make a video like this i will see you guys next week bye uh\n"