The 'FRIENDLY' Ice Cream Truck

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enYou see that shit? It's sunset.What if-(Borking)Okay, so imagine for a second(more borkings)Imagine - (borking) - imagine - (borking)Imagine - (borking)Imagine, for one second - (borking) - icecream, popsicles.I. Can't. Even. Comprehend. Rrrrrrrare. Eating. And. Milking.Ice cream. Popsicle.People. Only. Purchase. Solid. Ice. Cream. Late. Evening. Sir.And that's what we have to be doing and what we're gonna be doing is we're gonna put it all in our vanuhh.. vehicle andNaughty!We're gonna putting these in our vanAnd then we're gonna be going out in the evening because it's just hitting dusk right now and we can purchase some stuffCruise around town, blast out that typical ice cream truck musicAnd we're gonna get some purchases.Oh god damnit.Okay, uh no.uhhhhh god*squeaky squeak*Ice-cream cone! that works :DYeah!Done! Just like that *scribble*Ah, that just made it more defined*let me try, mark*Much better*lil smooch*oHOh, it's getting worse *inaudible* it's worse. It's worse. Okay. All right.Markiplier's Ice Cream BoutiqueIt'll doOKAY!Oh, god, it's everywhere.First stop, ice creamI''m gonna call Bob, just in case Bob's got some adviceHey, shush, shushHey!(Bob: Hey, how's it goin'?) Hey, so we are currently in the process of getting an ice cream truck for the vanAnd I just wanted your advice on the best way to execute thatBob: Turning a van into an ice cream truck?Yeah, yeah because the way I figured, like it's, it's dark out right now, it's getting darkThere aren't any ice cream trucks that run out in the evening, but in evening is when everyone wants dessertBob: SureGood idea?Bob: It sounds cool.Bob: Don't get arrestedWhy, why would we?Bob: I don't... I just feel like there's, this might potentially be creepy, but..Bob: You got Chica, she sorts of de-creepifies it.Bob: Lean on Chica for the uncreepyOkay, all right, anyway, all right. Thank you, all right, se-see yaBob: G-go get 'em, buddyAll right, thanks, all right bye.It's not creepy.No! It's ice cream, it's fun! For the whole familyAt night.Okay. We gotta go get some stuff, soYou're right! The profits from our last pop-up shop go to the profits for our next ice cream truck. I like it, *squeak* BAMChica, excuse me. Whoa privacy please.I've got Scribblers, ahahaha, rainbow: always funGrape, orange, cherry: all classic, and I've got these sweet crunchy drumsticks.I love me some butter pecan*strenuous activity from markipoo*Yeah!!It beautiful :DBusinesses start out smallThey may seem like they're not very much or they're weird or in a creepy van or in a dark scary hallway with a knifeBut some businesses start out small and grow into something bigOkay, let's do thisSir!Ice cream?Sir!Ma'am!Ice cream?Unwrap itLet them see the colourThe colour's really what gets 'emSomeone's honking for ice creamYellow!? Why yellow?? That's like the least, alright fine, whateverIce cream!!Ice cream!!!$200Y'know, like a- like a sign spinner does. It really gets the attention, you gotta really sell itIce cream!Ice creaam!You're makin' me hungry for ice cream. I'm such a good salesman, I'm hungry for ice cream.That's what they gotta see, they gotta see people eatin' itMmmmMMMMMMMmmIt's so good!Mmmmm!Alright, fine, fine, fine. That ain't gonna workWe gotta find a place where we can sell ice cream to these people where they need it the mostSo, what we have here is a advertising problem. The highway didn't work because-Not because of us, it's because people didn't know what they were getting, they couldn't really see the experience going onThey couldn't see it, just lusciously getting down my gullet, and that's what people need! So I'm gonna do is we're gonna showcaseExactly what we got going on hereWe got Scribblers...ah, shitWe got Rainburr (Rainbow)BAM! Okay, so that's two. They may have 37 flavorsBunch a bullshitBut we got, we gotChica, we got Chica. And with Chica. ...She's a biggest selling point that we can ever hope forRight Chica? What's that light?!Ah, whateveruhhh, no!Kobe! *glass smashing*We're at a secluded location; a Costco parking lot. It's closed, but we don't care about thatThey won't be our competitor for now. But, we do you need to get customers, so I'm gonna tell people that we're hereAnd it's gonna be totally chill.The mistake I made last time is I didn't emphasize that it was a 'happy, friendly experience', so I'm gonna sayMarkiplier'sFriendly Ice Cream TruckCome get your iced creams*mumbling* Ice cream truck is open for businessYou want some ice cream?What we need... is some swweeeet music*odd, 8-bit sounding tune*I mean the image is right, but I don't know if that's... that doesn't feel right*pop/R&B-ish mix* *Chica panting*No*classic ice cream truck tunes*Nothing friendlier. Now we just wait for the customers to roll inOh! I almost forgot! Hang on- wait!We're not ready, we're not ready, I forgotI didn't put the other, uh, flavours up on the thingCustomer: Hi, we were just driving byWowcustomers right here with the ice cream truck, pulls everybody hereJust give us two, two minutes.*muffled* I just wanna advertise all the flavoursAlmost ready, almost ready. Hang on- two seconds!Ah, jeez *tape sounds* Okayall right, um...Welcome!To, uh, Markiplier's Friendly Ice Cream Truck. What, uh? What would you like?Customer: I'll take a rainbow one pleaseA Rainbow! What flavour of Rainbow?I need the music going, hang on, we really gotta pump up the ambiance here.Okay, alright, enough goofing around here. Do I have to do all the work here? Thank you.How 'bout a, a- a... purp- a bluuueGirl: Thank youWhat would you like?Boy: That's fineOkay cool, there you gooo. That'll be $50Girl: Oh shii- ...um...um... um...Okay, so they ran off, but that's not bad because they'll beuh... uh...It's good for business, just forget about it's good for businessWe got all the advertising, we got the music ready to go when it's going we got the ice creamuh... You got anything else?Why do you still have those?If there's one person that knows exactly what goes on in the business strategy. It's Tyler. He is a masters in sports- Hello!Tyler, are you there?Tyler: Is it working now?Yeah, okay. Hey, how's it going? Okay? So we have an ice cream truckI just want to run a few things by you you tell me if it's a good idea or bad ideaWe got, our ice cream in our ice bucket. We've got the jammin' tunes right there. They're not playing right nowLet me see if I canWhere is the music... We got- wait! ah! We got a customer! There it ishang onHang on, hold on. Wait, why, Tyler are you there? We're open for business. Where's your face? Hello good customer!Customer: Sup?Come on down!Customer: I'm comin' up nowHello!You can see all of our flavoursSweater Guy: Is she available for sale?NO!What flavor would you like?Hat Person: Oh, well I didn't think of the ice cream partWe said an ice cream truck!Sweater Guy: A drumstick over here.Drumstick...Hat Person: I'm feeling a cherry popsicleOkay, all right, you get him the cherry popsicle. I'll get the drumsticks. Okay be right thereAlright, Tyler we gotta go, we got customers. See ya!Hat Person: Do I get two? For the price of nothing?What? No! They're- they're $50.Hat Person: um, sorry 'bout thatYou didn't even pay! You think you can run?!He's quick. He's real quick. Ok, what do you want?Red Hair: DrumstickDrumstick! We're gonna run outta Drumsticks.Don't you show your face around here againHat Person: I'll just keep my distanceYou better.Welcome, welcome, okay, who wants some ice cream?Purple Guy: Yeah, let's do some ice cream. What do we got?Uh, it's right there?Purple Guy: Oh... my reading comprehensions not there.You don't even have to read! This is colours and shapes!Purple Guy: I'll take a Drumstick.Why does everybody want a Drumstick?!We did not- we've got butter pecan ice cream as well in a tubPurple Guy: I'll do- I'll do the tub creamGet the tub creamPurple Guy: It is... It is literally just a tubDon't worry, it's nice and softPurple Guy: D-do I go for it?YeahPurple Guy: Alright, we got itAlright that'll be $50Purple Guy: Deal.Purple Guy: You want it liquid or card?Why is your cash liquid?Purple Guy: Because I can't grab it like this and have it be dryThat's fift- you- Pay!What do you want?Happy Fighter: A Crayon!It says 'Scribbler'Right thereHappy Fighter: Woah it's two Crayons!What would you like?Late Arrival: Uhh... ScribblerA Scrib- Thaaank youHappy Fighter: It's a Crayon!There you go, that'll be $100Late Arrival: Excuse you? No.Okay alright, thank you guys so much for not paying any money!See yaAll right, we are sold out of ice cream againbut unfortunatelyWe didn't make a goddamn penny because nobody paid anything for what they were supposed to getehh, either way it was funI think we got the word out, we can write that all off as advertisingIn people's minds when they think of ice cream they think of meBut anyway, thanks so much for all the help as usual, that was really funLet me know what you think, uh, what we should do in the future and..Thanks again, and as always. I'll see you in the next one bye bye!\n"