**A Moment of Authenticity: Embracing Imperfection**

As I sit down to edit this video, I have to admit that I've had second thoughts multiple times. I've been feeling overwhelmed with creating content and feeling like I need to live up to a certain standard. But in the end, I decided to press on and share my story with you guys. I wanted to be authentic and honest about the struggles I've been facing lately.

**A Reset and a Fresh Start**

It's been several days since I started filming this video, but it feels like just yesterday that I was feeling overwhelmed and tired of trying to meet an unrealistic standard for myself. I have to admit, I've been loving all the content I've been creating lately, and it's motivated me to keep going. But I also know that I need to be kinder to myself and acknowledge when I'm not doing my best. That's why I've been trying to take breaks and prioritize self-care.

**The Struggle is Real**

For me, the struggle with feeling like I need to meet a high standard has been real. I've been trying to balance my creative endeavors with everyday life, but it can be overwhelming at times. And let's not forget about the challenges of managing my medication - it's added an extra layer of complexity to my daily routine. But even when things feel tough, I want you guys to know that it's okay to have bad days and weeks. It doesn't mean you've failed or that your hard work was wasted.

**Recovery is Key**

One of the most important things I've learned recently is the importance of recovery. When we're feeling burnt out and overwhelmed, our minds and bodies need time to rest and recharge. It's not about giving up on our goals or aspirations - it's about being honest with ourselves about what we can handle in that moment. For me, that means taking a break from filming and focusing on self-care. But I also want you guys to know that recovery is not always linear. Sometimes, it takes time to get back to where we were before.

**Authenticity Matters**

As someone who values authenticity and honesty, I feel like I need to be transparent with you guys about my struggles. It's okay to not have all the answers or to admit when we don't know something. In fact, being vulnerable and open can be a powerful way to connect with others and build trust. For me, that means sharing my imperfections and weaknesses with you guys - even if it makes me feel a little uncomfortable at times.

**The Importance of Self-Kindness**

One of the most important things I've learned recently is the importance of self-kindness. When we're feeling overwhelmed and stressed, it's easy to be hard on ourselves. But that can lead to burnout and exhaustion. Instead, I want you guys to know that treating yourself with kindness and compassion is essential for your well-being. That means being gentle with yourself, acknowledging your limitations, and prioritizing self-care.

**Looking Ahead**

As I look ahead to the future, I'm excited to share more content with you guys. I've been feeling a bit rusty lately, but I'm eager to get back into the swing of things. My goal is to create four videos per week - something that's challenging for me but also brings me joy and fulfillment. And while it's not going to be perfect all the time, I want you guys to know that I'll do my best to prioritize self-care and authenticity in everything I do.

**A New Beginning**

As I wrap up this video, I feel like we're starting fresh. We've talked about the struggles and imperfections - but also the importance of recovery, self-kindness, and authenticity. I hope you guys have enjoyed this conversation as much as I have. Remember that it's okay to make mistakes and that being imperfect is a natural part of growth. And most importantly, be kind to yourself - you're doing the best you can, and that's something to be proud of.

**A Final Word**

I'm excited to share more content with you guys in the days to come. Stay tuned for new videos, updates on my creative endeavors, and behind-the-scenes peeks into my life. And don't forget to follow me on social media - I love connecting with you guys and hearing your thoughts and feedback. Thanks again for watching, and I'll see you in the next video!

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: engood morning everyone I am in desperate need of a reset so I'm going to take you along with me if you're confused why sometimes in my videos there's this like smoke machine in the background it's a humidifier it's very dry here during the winter I feel like just looking at me you can tell that I really need a reset last week just did not go to plan it did not go how I wanted to I just wasn't sleeping well and I had an ear infection which I still kind of have but it's not quite as bad but I couldn't hear out my right ear and it was very painful and yeah it's just there was a lot happening so my routines and the things that I usually do that have really been like lifting me up and allowing me to be really successful this past year so far they just kind of fell to the Wayside and I was okay with that I I was kind of like just doing what I could but now that I am feeling better I want to get myself like started off on the right foot and give myself the best opportunity really to feel good because I feel like even though I'm kind of feeling mentally a bit better I haven't really been able to take advantage of that like I would like to because the house is still kind of messy from when I was not feeling great it's definitely been way worse than this but it still is not exactly ideal so that's the deal for today I need to really figure out what I'm doing because I always usually plan my week on Sundays but I am just did not end up doing that this past Sunday so I need to get on that that's definitely a priority I just need some clarity because right now I'm feeling like things are a little bit muddy and I need like the sunshiny Clarity I am definitely craving that I don't like when I have like not great days I'll call them bad days but I don't like when I have bad days especially now obviously no one likes bad days but I feel like they just hurt so much more now when for the most part I've been doing really well anytime I have a bad day I'm like G like it throws me off my game throws me off my momentum and it just makes recovering from it kind of hard because I've just been in such a good space that it's then like what am I supposed to do with this but we're going to get through it so this is day one I'm not sure how many days this will take ideally one that would be great but first things first before I actually get into work I need to get dressed I do not want to get dressed this morning every fiber of my being is saying no I want to just stay in my comfy clothes and pajamas but I know that that starts me off on the right foot so we're going to get dressed this is definitely my like uniform if you will for those days when I don't want to really get dressed it's still like pajama esque but it's not my pajamas that I slept in so that's good so now I am going to think about what is kind of bugging me the most and go from there I know for sure because I have some some time before I dive into work I know for sure that I want to get this area clean it's like kind of the main area that is bugging me so it looks a lot worse than it is like this is the basket of things that need to go upstairs I just haven't emptied it in a very long time so once I bring this upstairs that will be good and then just like emptying the dishwasher and getting all those things done it's honestly just little things that I have not been keeping up with this week so let's get that one a it's the next day I did end up getting caught up with work and didn't end up vlogging anymore yesterday and also my fiance came home early and then we just had a fun time spending the night together so it was a really nice just relaxing night but I did a pretty good job yesterday of getting like caught up and actually reset I'm just putting a Orly nail trition on my nails right now uh but I still have been struggling with my focus today um and I think like cuz obviously when I have bad days I'm trying to like think of okay why is it maybe a bad day like why am I kind of struggling more today uh but I think it's because of my medication and trying to figure that out so I actually have my appointment on Thursday for that so I am looking forward to that and hopefully it will be able to kind of help me out but yeah it definitely is much more frustrating and like I feel like the bad days hit so much harder when I've been doing so well and feeling so good lately so then when that kind of changes it just feels so much more like discouraging and like uh like I wish I could kind of snap myself out of it but I know realistically that's kind of not the way that things work but it is what it is today it just has not been that good for Focus so far but I mean there still is like more than half the day to go so I'm not going to count myself out yet but yesterday I did finish with tidying up upstairs tidying up the main floor and everything I did laundry so I'm really happy with that and I made dinner and making dinner has been such a thing for me lately I don't know why but I love cooking I love trying new recipes but lately it's just been like the end of the day and even when my meal prep and have all the ingredients prepped I've just been like I just don't want to do it so I've been trying to kind of fix that and then have a certain time when I will just start making dinner no matter what no matter if I'm hungry or not but I think actually part of it is because my medication has been making me not very hungry so I've been just not really wanting to cook I don't know it's just kind of been a bit of a mess uh and it just feels so much more messy and so much more frustrating when I'm coming off of such a high but it is what it is like I have gotten up four videos every week for the past 2 weeks and I knew I was kind of looking at that and like I was like okay four videos is really awesome and I would love to do that but in order to be able to do that I think I need to have a time period where I'm posting 2 to 3 so then I can kind of get myself caught up on things and then it's not like I am filming and then editing in too short of a time period I don't really know how to explain it but basically I'm not quite there yet so I wanted to take a step back and go down to that but then last week I wasn't feeling well because my ear infection so I didn't film anything and then this week I just haven't really filmed anything either so it's just been kind of a little bit of a mess and I would really like to sort out that schedule and figure out a better way that I can kind of handle all the things that are on my plate essentially I had a point with that I don't remember what it is but I can't help but be like a little bit disappointed that I'm not sticking to that schedule like I only have one video filmed right now that I can post so I'm like where am I going to find two others I don't really have my like I didn't end up planning the rest of my week yesterday which I think is why I'm feeling so scattered because I don't have that kind of plan or outline for the week I'm like oh I don't really know what I'm doing from day to day and when I stop using my planner is when I fall off of my routines and then in turn I kind of everything goes up in the air so I think maybe that is what I need to take some time to really dedicate myself to now is taking that time to like put away distractions and just really focus on actually like getting that plan in place so that I can feel good and kind of know where I'm going because I feel like a boat without a Rudder right now and that doesn't feel very good so that's what I'm going to do look how cute and cozy Charlie looks he's so cozy oh such a cozy boy hello guys it is indeed quite a few days later in fact I don't know when I was last filming this little like reset with me thing uh but it has been truly a journey okay I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in this video I can't quite remember but I'm sorry if I am repeating myself but essentially for my ADHD medication we're trying to figure it out and we were trying a new dosage and the dosage was too high and when that happens it is just not good not fun so I was just getting really over stimulated by everything and I'm still kind of coming down from that but just I was having like major major sensory issues and just hyper focusing on literally everything like including things that I usually wouldn't hyperfocus on I don't know it just was making it really hard to even reset or stick with my routine so for a couple weeks now I have kind of fallen off the wagon but we are getting back to it it is Monday I have the day off today so I really want to take advantage of that and do the best that I can to get back to a place where I'm feeling more comfortable and like I have my together again so the state of the house isn't too too bad but it definitely can use a little bit of a tidy again I actually have just been working on some watercolor so I took a little watercolor class I started one on skillshare which I have been really enjoying so I did that for a little bit this morning I did groceries and I need to put groceries away and do my meal prep and then just tidy up the rest of the house so we definitely have a jam-packed to-do list today but in addition to kind of taking care of all of these things I do want to take some time obviously for myself and not just be like a productivity machine because that is that's just not what I'm here for so that being said I feel like I need to kind of come up with a plan of attack and have more of like a structured schedule if you will for what I'm going to do because there are so many different things that I'm wanting to do today I'm going to do kind of like a rough time block actually time blocking like doesn't work for me but for days like today where there's just a a lot going on I do find it really helpful to do at least something I did in fact change into a t-shirt because I was finishing up with doing the basement like organizing it and everything and I ended up being very sweaty because it was really hot down there I don't know why but that is actually going to be a SE for a video that you guys will see soon but I am going to be planning out my week because it is a Monday like I said but I haven't planned my week yet and if I don't plan my week on a Sunday always just it's a recipe for disaster but before I do that I'm actually going to do a little bit of coloring look at how cute this picture is it looks like the little boys I'm so excited to color this one because it has like I mean it's not technically crochet it's knitting I believe from looking at the needle it's not a hook it's a needle but do you call it a needle I don't actually know if you call it like a needle for knitting knitting seems too complicated for me I'm just going to stick with crocheting anyways I'm going to sit here and color this for a little bit before I get into all my planning and stuff I've gotten back into coloring on my iPad I just really enjoy it but I do also like coloring like physically too so I've been doing a little bit of that I might do some of that a little bit later but right now I'm just kind of like a quick thing so I'm going to color my iPad for a little bit watch some YouTube and then get ready to plan out my week so I'm getting started off on the right foot look how freaking cute it is I love it so much so my week is planned which is really exciting I've got everything here that I'm going to do and I worked on my little weekly agenda too and I basically know what is happening every day and what I'm needing to do which is perfect honestly when I do stick to my routine it just makes such a difference it's just when I like fall out of it I have a hard time getting back but I definitely am feeling today a lot more like myself like I had just been not doing well honestly like my heart was constantly racing and I just felt extremely anxious like it made my anxiety a lot worse so I'm glad that I am feeling more like myself today and a lot better so now I'm going to do a little bit more tidying my goal right now is to get the couple of baskets that I have emptied so I have this one and then I have one right there which is just the stuff from the basement so I'm going to get those baskets emptied just go around the house dump it just like I did last Monday and I'm pretty sure I filmed it and then I will go back and like actually put the stuff away and then after that I need to do the meal prep and finish with putting away the groceries but I feel like we are doing really well so far the whole house is clean I don't have any b-roll for you because honestly it ends up taking a lot longer when I'm filming it and I just kind of wanted to do it so just like I said went emptied the baskets and then I went back and and from top to bottom just put everything away and honestly I like doing it that way because it feels like it just doesn't take as much time everything is already in a basket and when I put it in the room it's all kind of like all the things that need to go away or at least most of them are Consolidated in one spot so it's just super easy to then go and put everything away so I'm going to take the dogs out now and I think I'm actually going to take a little bit of a break before I do the meal prepping because I'm just kind of feeling a little bit tired abrupt transition so uh it is once again several days later but I am just closing out today's video and I wanted to chat with you guys for a little bit so I thought about scrapping this video multiple times while I was editing it while I was filming it but it's just because like I I don't know I hold myself to a high standard and lately I have just been loving all the content that I've been making because it's motivational I've been feeling good and blah blah blah blah blah but I also want to always remain authentic with you guys so I still wanted to post this video even though it's bits bits and pieces because I wasn't doing my best but I basically just wanted to show like I'm still trying but I'm still treating myself with kindness like I am still taking breaks I am still trying my best and being okay with when I don't me like meet the standard that I have for myself so I feel like with the content that I've been making lately the biggest thing that I have been trying to do is have that authenticity and I always want to keep that and I just wanted like it's realistic you know like a reset doesn't happen in a day like in the beginning of the video I'm literally like hopefully a day but it doesn't happen in a day especially when what's causing me kind of falling off the wagon is not fixed yet but it's not going to be perfect all the time even though like now I am definitely feeling a lot better I'm always going to have those times where I fall off my routine and that's okay like I still can get back to the spot where I want to be even though it might maybe look different than when I started so I don't want to look at like those two weeks of this month as a throwaway like a failure or anything it was just kind of time that I needed for myself like I couldn't do much you know like I was doing what I could but because of the issues with my medication I couldn't do a lot and that's totally fine that doesn't mean it was like a waste of time or weeks working toward my goals thrown away I tried my best and I have like reset I definitely feel like the house and everything my mind is definitely clear and I am back to a good spot but bad days happen bad weeks happen then it's totally fine it's what you do with that time and like how you recover from it that really counts but like don't feel bad if you have a bad day because honestly it is it's going to happen even though I'm feeling good now I know there's going to be a time again where I'm going to feel like I was in this past video that you just watched it's just kind of how life works and that's fine like as long as you are kind with yourself and treating yourself with love and respect I don't want to be on like a soap box I feel silly saying it but honestly like it's true it's you need to like be kind to yourself and recognize what you're needing and what might be wrong or whatever and do what you are able to do don't try and force yourself to like reinvent the wheel if you're not feeling your best I hope that made sense I don't really know but thank you guys so much for watching this video I'm actually vlogging again today so there will be another Vlog up soon I am getting back to to like getting my schedule on track for videos I feel like when I'm talking about that it might seem like I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself but honestly I've just been loving posting videos and making videos again which is why I want to try and post four a week because I just have so many fun ideas but I also need to recognize like I said treating myself with kindness and when I'm trying to do too much so it's not that I'm like I have to get a video out because I'm going to disappoint people like obviously I don't want to let people down but at the same time it's also because I have so many ideas that I want to keep up with the schedule that I have so that I can do all of those fun videos but yeah anyways I am going to go and film that other video that I'm filming right now so thank you so much for watching today's video I hope you did enjoy even though it was a little bit messy but I will see you guys in another new video very soon bye agood morning everyone I am in desperate need of a reset so I'm going to take you along with me if you're confused why sometimes in my videos there's this like smoke machine in the background it's a humidifier it's very dry here during the winter I feel like just looking at me you can tell that I really need a reset last week just did not go to plan it did not go how I wanted to I just wasn't sleeping well and I had an ear infection which I still kind of have but it's not quite as bad but I couldn't hear out my right ear and it was very painful and yeah it's just there was a lot happening so my routines and the things that I usually do that have really been like lifting me up and allowing me to be really successful this past year so far they just kind of fell to the Wayside and I was okay with that I I was kind of like just doing what I could but now that I am feeling better I want to get myself like started off on the right foot and give myself the best opportunity really to feel good because I feel like even though I'm kind of feeling mentally a bit better I haven't really been able to take advantage of that like I would like to because the house is still kind of messy from when I was not feeling great it's definitely been way worse than this but it still is not exactly ideal so that's the deal for today I need to really figure out what I'm doing because I always usually plan my week on Sundays but I am just did not end up doing that this past Sunday so I need to get on that that's definitely a priority I just need some clarity because right now I'm feeling like things are a little bit muddy and I need like the sunshiny Clarity I am definitely craving that I don't like when I have like not great days I'll call them bad days but I don't like when I have bad days especially now obviously no one likes bad days but I feel like they just hurt so much more now when for the most part I've been doing really well anytime I have a bad day I'm like G like it throws me off my game throws me off my momentum and it just makes recovering from it kind of hard because I've just been in such a good space that it's then like what am I supposed to do with this but we're going to get through it so this is day one I'm not sure how many days this will take ideally one that would be great but first things first before I actually get into work I need to get dressed I do not want to get dressed this morning every fiber of my being is saying no I want to just stay in my comfy clothes and pajamas but I know that that starts me off on the right foot so we're going to get dressed this is definitely my like uniform if you will for those days when I don't want to really get dressed it's still like pajama esque but it's not my pajamas that I slept in so that's good so now I am going to think about what is kind of bugging me the most and go from there I know for sure because I have some some time before I dive into work I know for sure that I want to get this area clean it's like kind of the main area that is bugging me so it looks a lot worse than it is like this is the basket of things that need to go upstairs I just haven't emptied it in a very long time so once I bring this upstairs that will be good and then just like emptying the dishwasher and getting all those things done it's honestly just little things that I have not been keeping up with this week so let's get that one a it's the next day I did end up getting caught up with work and didn't end up vlogging anymore yesterday and also my fiance came home early and then we just had a fun time spending the night together so it was a really nice just relaxing night but I did a pretty good job yesterday of getting like caught up and actually reset I'm just putting a Orly nail trition on my nails right now uh but I still have been struggling with my focus today um and I think like cuz obviously when I have bad days I'm trying to like think of okay why is it maybe a bad day like why am I kind of struggling more today uh but I think it's because of my medication and trying to figure that out so I actually have my appointment on Thursday for that so I am looking forward to that and hopefully it will be able to kind of help me out but yeah it definitely is much more frustrating and like I feel like the bad days hit so much harder when I've been doing so well and feeling so good lately so then when that kind of changes it just feels so much more like discouraging and like uh like I wish I could kind of snap myself out of it but I know realistically that's kind of not the way that things work but it is what it is today it just has not been that good for Focus so far but I mean there still is like more than half the day to go so I'm not going to count myself out yet but yesterday I did finish with tidying up upstairs tidying up the main floor and everything I did laundry so I'm really happy with that and I made dinner and making dinner has been such a thing for me lately I don't know why but I love cooking I love trying new recipes but lately it's just been like the end of the day and even when my meal prep and have all the ingredients prepped I've just been like I just don't want to do it so I've been trying to kind of fix that and then have a certain time when I will just start making dinner no matter what no matter if I'm hungry or not but I think actually part of it is because my medication has been making me not very hungry so I've been just not really wanting to cook I don't know it's just kind of been a bit of a mess uh and it just feels so much more messy and so much more frustrating when I'm coming off of such a high but it is what it is like I have gotten up four videos every week for the past 2 weeks and I knew I was kind of looking at that and like I was like okay four videos is really awesome and I would love to do that but in order to be able to do that I think I need to have a time period where I'm posting 2 to 3 so then I can kind of get myself caught up on things and then it's not like I am filming and then editing in too short of a time period I don't really know how to explain it but basically I'm not quite there yet so I wanted to take a step back and go down to that but then last week I wasn't feeling well because my ear infection so I didn't film anything and then this week I just haven't really filmed anything either so it's just been kind of a little bit of a mess and I would really like to sort out that schedule and figure out a better way that I can kind of handle all the things that are on my plate essentially I had a point with that I don't remember what it is but I can't help but be like a little bit disappointed that I'm not sticking to that schedule like I only have one video filmed right now that I can post so I'm like where am I going to find two others I don't really have my like I didn't end up planning the rest of my week yesterday which I think is why I'm feeling so scattered because I don't have that kind of plan or outline for the week I'm like oh I don't really know what I'm doing from day to day and when I stop using my planner is when I fall off of my routines and then in turn I kind of everything goes up in the air so I think maybe that is what I need to take some time to really dedicate myself to now is taking that time to like put away distractions and just really focus on actually like getting that plan in place so that I can feel good and kind of know where I'm going because I feel like a boat without a Rudder right now and that doesn't feel very good so that's what I'm going to do look how cute and cozy Charlie looks he's so cozy oh such a cozy boy hello guys it is indeed quite a few days later in fact I don't know when I was last filming this little like reset with me thing uh but it has been truly a journey okay I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in this video I can't quite remember but I'm sorry if I am repeating myself but essentially for my ADHD medication we're trying to figure it out and we were trying a new dosage and the dosage was too high and when that happens it is just not good not fun so I was just getting really over stimulated by everything and I'm still kind of coming down from that but just I was having like major major sensory issues and just hyper focusing on literally everything like including things that I usually wouldn't hyperfocus on I don't know it just was making it really hard to even reset or stick with my routine so for a couple weeks now I have kind of fallen off the wagon but we are getting back to it it is Monday I have the day off today so I really want to take advantage of that and do the best that I can to get back to a place where I'm feeling more comfortable and like I have my together again so the state of the house isn't too too bad but it definitely can use a little bit of a tidy again I actually have just been working on some watercolor so I took a little watercolor class I started one on skillshare which I have been really enjoying so I did that for a little bit this morning I did groceries and I need to put groceries away and do my meal prep and then just tidy up the rest of the house so we definitely have a jam-packed to-do list today but in addition to kind of taking care of all of these things I do want to take some time obviously for myself and not just be like a productivity machine because that is that's just not what I'm here for so that being said I feel like I need to kind of come up with a plan of attack and have more of like a structured schedule if you will for what I'm going to do because there are so many different things that I'm wanting to do today I'm going to do kind of like a rough time block actually time blocking like doesn't work for me but for days like today where there's just a a lot going on I do find it really helpful to do at least something I did in fact change into a t-shirt because I was finishing up with doing the basement like organizing it and everything and I ended up being very sweaty because it was really hot down there I don't know why but that is actually going to be a SE for a video that you guys will see soon but I am going to be planning out my week because it is a Monday like I said but I haven't planned my week yet and if I don't plan my week on a Sunday always just it's a recipe for disaster but before I do that I'm actually going to do a little bit of coloring look at how cute this picture is it looks like the little boys I'm so excited to color this one because it has like I mean it's not technically crochet it's knitting I believe from looking at the needle it's not a hook it's a needle but do you call it a needle I don't actually know if you call it like a needle for knitting knitting seems too complicated for me I'm just going to stick with crocheting anyways I'm going to sit here and color this for a little bit before I get into all my planning and stuff I've gotten back into coloring on my iPad I just really enjoy it but I do also like coloring like physically too so I've been doing a little bit of that I might do some of that a little bit later but right now I'm just kind of like a quick thing so I'm going to color my iPad for a little bit watch some YouTube and then get ready to plan out my week so I'm getting started off on the right foot look how freaking cute it is I love it so much so my week is planned which is really exciting I've got everything here that I'm going to do and I worked on my little weekly agenda too and I basically know what is happening every day and what I'm needing to do which is perfect honestly when I do stick to my routine it just makes such a difference it's just when I like fall out of it I have a hard time getting back but I definitely am feeling today a lot more like myself like I had just been not doing well honestly like my heart was constantly racing and I just felt extremely anxious like it made my anxiety a lot worse so I'm glad that I am feeling more like myself today and a lot better so now I'm going to do a little bit more tidying my goal right now is to get the couple of baskets that I have emptied so I have this one and then I have one right there which is just the stuff from the basement so I'm going to get those baskets emptied just go around the house dump it just like I did last Monday and I'm pretty sure I filmed it and then I will go back and like actually put the stuff away and then after that I need to do the meal prep and finish with putting away the groceries but I feel like we are doing really well so far the whole house is clean I don't have any b-roll for you because honestly it ends up taking a lot longer when I'm filming it and I just kind of wanted to do it so just like I said went emptied the baskets and then I went back and and from top to bottom just put everything away and honestly I like doing it that way because it feels like it just doesn't take as much time everything is already in a basket and when I put it in the room it's all kind of like all the things that need to go away or at least most of them are Consolidated in one spot so it's just super easy to then go and put everything away so I'm going to take the dogs out now and I think I'm actually going to take a little bit of a break before I do the meal prepping because I'm just kind of feeling a little bit tired abrupt transition so uh it is once again several days later but I am just closing out today's video and I wanted to chat with you guys for a little bit so I thought about scrapping this video multiple times while I was editing it while I was filming it but it's just because like I I don't know I hold myself to a high standard and lately I have just been loving all the content that I've been making because it's motivational I've been feeling good and blah blah blah blah blah but I also want to always remain authentic with you guys so I still wanted to post this video even though it's bits bits and pieces because I wasn't doing my best but I basically just wanted to show like I'm still trying but I'm still treating myself with kindness like I am still taking breaks I am still trying my best and being okay with when I don't me like meet the standard that I have for myself so I feel like with the content that I've been making lately the biggest thing that I have been trying to do is have that authenticity and I always want to keep that and I just wanted like it's realistic you know like a reset doesn't happen in a day like in the beginning of the video I'm literally like hopefully a day but it doesn't happen in a day especially when what's causing me kind of falling off the wagon is not fixed yet but it's not going to be perfect all the time even though like now I am definitely feeling a lot better I'm always going to have those times where I fall off my routine and that's okay like I still can get back to the spot where I want to be even though it might maybe look different than when I started so I don't want to look at like those two weeks of this month as a throwaway like a failure or anything it was just kind of time that I needed for myself like I couldn't do much you know like I was doing what I could but because of the issues with my medication I couldn't do a lot and that's totally fine that doesn't mean it was like a waste of time or weeks working toward my goals thrown away I tried my best and I have like reset I definitely feel like the house and everything my mind is definitely clear and I am back to a good spot but bad days happen bad weeks happen then it's totally fine it's what you do with that time and like how you recover from it that really counts but like don't feel bad if you have a bad day because honestly it is it's going to happen even though I'm feeling good now I know there's going to be a time again where I'm going to feel like I was in this past video that you just watched it's just kind of how life works and that's fine like as long as you are kind with yourself and treating yourself with love and respect I don't want to be on like a soap box I feel silly saying it but honestly like it's true it's you need to like be kind to yourself and recognize what you're needing and what might be wrong or whatever and do what you are able to do don't try and force yourself to like reinvent the wheel if you're not feeling your best I hope that made sense I don't really know but thank you guys so much for watching this video I'm actually vlogging again today so there will be another Vlog up soon I am getting back to to like getting my schedule on track for videos I feel like when I'm talking about that it might seem like I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself but honestly I've just been loving posting videos and making videos again which is why I want to try and post four a week because I just have so many fun ideas but I also need to recognize like I said treating myself with kindness and when I'm trying to do too much so it's not that I'm like I have to get a video out because I'm going to disappoint people like obviously I don't want to let people down but at the same time it's also because I have so many ideas that I want to keep up with the schedule that I have so that I can do all of those fun videos but yeah anyways I am going to go and film that other video that I'm filming right now so thank you so much for watching today's video I hope you did enjoy even though it was a little bit messy but I will see you guys in another new video very soon bye a\n"