The Epic Fail: A Cautionary Tale of Gaming Misadventures

In this harrowing tale of gaming woe, our heroes embarked on a journey to defeat the Telltale Heart, a formidable foe that would test their skills and patience. As they delved into the world of The Telltale Heart, it became apparent that their chances of success were slim to none. "We'll just do the back and forth," one of the gamers mused, seemingly oblivious to the perils that lay ahead.

As they navigated the labyrinthine corridors of their game, our heroes encountered a series of misadventures that would make even the most seasoned gamer blush. "I'm going go get my stuff again," one of them exclaimed, as if retrieving their gear was the key to victory. Meanwhile, another gamer grappled with the basics of gameplay, insisting that they needed to "get your axe" in order to proceed.

But it wasn't just the gamers themselves who were struggling – the very fabric of reality seemed to be unraveling around them. As one of them quipped, "I'm going ghost," a spectral presence began to manifest itself, haunting their every move. The boundaries between the mortal world and the realm of the undead grew increasingly blurred, leaving our heroes bewildered and forlorn.

The situation only grew more dire as they stumbled upon an axe that seemed to hold mystical powers. With a flourish, one gamer declared, "I'm getting it I'm getting it I'm getting it okay," as if possessing the axe would be the key to unlocking victory. Alas, their triumph was short-lived, as they soon found themselves beset by the very creature they had sought to defeat.

The ensuing chaos was a testament to the gamers' haplessness, as they stumbled from one misstep to the next. "I need to we need another Telltale Heart," one of them pleaded, as if conjuring up an alternate reality would somehow rectify their situation. Meanwhile, another gamer struggled to comprehend the fundamental mechanics of gameplay, repeatedly asking for clarification on matters as mundane as health and grass.

As the stakes grew higher, our heroes found themselves at war with an enemy that seemed almost invincible – a pinecone, no less! "I had a lot of grass," one of them lamented, as if possessing an abundance of health would somehow guarantee their success. Alas, their efforts were for naught, as they soon discovered the devastating consequences of cooking red caps.

In a moment of desperation, our heroes resorted to more drastic measures, unleashing a torrent of fire upon their foes. "I Spit hot fire get them get them get them get him get him get him get I died," one gamer cackled maniacally, as if the very act of destruction would somehow redeem them.

But even this bold experiment proved futile, as our heroes soon found themselves facing an onslaught of tree monsters that seemed to materialize out of thin air. "Why are there I went my whole game without seeing a single one of those damn tree monsters and suddenly we've got two in the same general area," one gamer lamented, as if the very presence of these beasts was some sort of cruel joke.

As the gaming session drew to a close, our heroes reflected on their misadventures with a mix of gallows humor and despair. "We should have just lit everything on fire I mean that's what I was trying to do until you were all hey top L line on fire," one gamer wistfully observed, as if possessing the secret to victory would have saved them from their woes.

And yet, even in the face of such overwhelming failure, our heroes found a glimmer of hope – a chance to start anew and try once more. "We are so sorry for performing so poorly I promise we'll be better," one gamer vowed, as if the very act of apologizing would somehow imbue them with newfound competence.

But alas, their efforts were ultimately for naught, as they soon found themselves staring down the barrel of yet another misadventure – this time, courtesy of a mysterious and malevolent force that seemed to take great pleasure in their discomfort. "Why are you staring so intensely at my crotch?" one gamer quipped, as if confronting an existential crisis was somehow related to their gaming woes.

As the curtain closed on this tale of woe, our heroes slunk away in defeat, their tails between their legs. It seemed that even in the most desperate of circumstances, the Telltale Heart remained one step ahead, waiting to pounce upon its next unsuspecting victim. And so, dear gamers, take heed of this cautionary tale – for in the world of gaming, sometimes it's not just about winning or losing, but simply surviving against all odds.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enhello everybody my name is marbl and welcome back to Don't Starve we survived the night Brokeback Mountain style never mind that's not I thought we weren't going to talk about it it was cold we had to get in the tent we didn't even have a tent get oh get in the tent all right anyway I'm going to restart that cuz that's awful hello everybody my name is marbl and welcome back to Don't Starve with Bob say hi Bob hello welcome welcome we're doing great everything is perfect and we're awesome at video games as ever oh yes I blame Wade as usual i' just like to start this episode by saying I blame Wade okay so what we need to do now is we need to still find the gold Vin hey look look piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy oh he's he's messing with the guys oh he's intentionally messing with the guys dude look at the smackdown this guys oh god oh go get him Pig I don't think he's doing well can we like can we like steal his stuff uh I don't think he has any stuff Ste oh there's a rock over here Pig distract them yeah good job Pig uh where's my pickaxe the pig just died I got one the pig just oh gold V there's a mine yeah yeah get it it I'm getting it do it I will protect you or whatever okay get that gold if you can damn it we need to be oh exceeds carrying capacity that's the thing I need hang on hang on hang on what we need need to do is we need to build a chest and to build a chest I need to refine wood so I'm going to refine wood boence machine should I build yes you should build that actually that's actually a goodidea build the science machine I have to place it here though we don't want this to be our area Hang on we're going to go back we need to cooperate corroborate whatever you know I can't say words I'm a crazy old lady hang on so I need where this crazy old lady I was just looking at it oh build uh okay I'm making logs into boards and the board will be made into a chest and then with the chest I'll be able to can I get okay with a chest I'll be able we we we'll be able God damn it I can't say words today we'll be how the hell do you know all these recipes I feel left out because I am an old lady and I'm very smart and I know a lot of things I was a librarian I'm going to dig this grave bad for my li a librarian there's too many trees here I'll dig it for you old lady no I already got it no no it's already done I reduced my sanity whatever whatever let's go back to let's go back home so that we can address this issue properly wait wait wait I have to pick up hardened rubber bung I know I dug it out of the Grave cuz someone buried themselves with it for some damn reason is that not worth having I have no idea you know there's a lot of items in this I'm pass I'm going to pass yeah there's a lot of items in here that I figure are junk but you never know they might actually be something off the universe no you can't I have I've tried many times that's good cuz I was going to so oh good yes please yes where did our fires go so are we trying to go back to where our fires were the place where all the golden spiders were no no no go go go no oh we should build a base right here so that we can have a place to attack them when the time comes yeah yeah sounds good I know okay so I'm going to build the chest you're going to like this should I build the science machine here yes we should totally where where should I put it okay I'm building this sturdy container right there yes I'll put the science machine right near that then yes exactly perfect this going be fantastic that way that way yeah science machine wow that was surprisingly easy yay yeah there's no crafting time in here it's like instantaneous you plop It On The Ground there it is ooh I can make a backpack yes yes yes yes oh yeah I forgot about the backpack that's right why do you know more about this game than I do why am I I am the greatest well that's an exaggeration let's let's not go crazy make a Telltale ow well then I made a Telltale Heart but I can bring a ghost back to life oh why did it sound like you got punched in the face I did get punched in the face it sucked my blood I'm going to put that in the chest so that we have type of shovel now hooray I could have made you a shovel and an opulent pickaxe that sounds fun I don't know what an opulent pickaxe is prototype of shovel that's right Pitchfork what's a razor for uh shaving in case you robot grow a robot beard I can shave my Robo beard how many rocks do you have uh uh which one is rocks six rocks six rocks poop we can't make a bigger campfire so we got to stick with poop I I can't make a big can make a fire pit please oh you can make a wait why can't you make a fire pit Moosh it takes like 12 like sule and thusly with the fire pit I don't how did you do that uh I a fire pit takes two logs and 12 St Jon I must have had two stacks of of rock yeah you lied to me maybe I'm a dummy yeah when we do this we're going to have to have 100% confidence each other if we're going to survive this adventure well I have to say I have I have okay eyesight but I cannot see qu Tre Monster Run Away oh oh run are you kidding me I don't know it was just I I I don't no no no no no no no no no wait wait wait I have an idea I have an idea burn it oh you're right oh why are you so good at this game burn how how are you how do you even know this stuff is he is he going to light all of our things on fire he might just do that oh why aren't you dying I I'll oh every oh oh God I can't go near him because he lights me on fire fire well let's lead him away from the forest no and he's out of fire this is not going well you distract him I'll smack him in the butt hit whoa who wait I'm light him he's coming after me well don't I can't I got to I got to hit him I got him it can't that has to damage him it maybe it does there no possible way that does not damage well maybe it would be easier if we were hitting him too he's a tree monster okay okay I'll kite him you hit him I'm hitting him good oh oh okay okay I got I'm not going to be a ghost again okay oh I'm going to be a ghost again no no I got it we're going to get it are we doing anything at all to him I have no idea really dark how are we supposed to oh no oh no okay wait he doesn't know what to do he's so confused oh no no he got me it's okay he doesn't Barry add some intense Combat music to this okay yeah it's like we take turns and then he turns oh yeah you spider get out of here spider you're ruining our plans ow why is the spider hit me I'm going to die again God damn it spider kite the spider this way yeah yeah yeah I don't know what to do oh no oh no oh I know I know our camp is going terribly wrong why did we camp here I don't know why was there a dream monster right by us oh kill him he's almost okay he's almost dead he almost out out out oh good God oh Jesus try to lead the oh God oh God oh God oh God there I got him spider down spider's down okay okay okay why did I eat the monster meat I didn't want to I am being poisoned I didn't want to do that okay if I die there's a heart in the chest why is there another spider this is going wonderfully this so fast shut up it's fine no actually it's not so bad okay it's day is everything better now oh my God what how do we get rid of the tree no come here you bastard okay yes yes yes yes yes yes okay dead good good I'll take the silk all right I'll put in the chest go back to kiting the tree monster back and forth okay we're going to get this guy eventually I'm going to store this in this can't Poss to be Invincible no no no no no no no no no no we'll just do the back and forth the back and back and forth seat who okay well then are you kidding me I a ghost I'll haunt him so how do I chest how do I Telltale Heart you can you put it on my face give Oh yay away whoa Alan I'm going go get my stuff again your axe I I will kite I will kite him away from you get your axe I'm getting it I'm getting it I'm getting it okay I got my axe got this all right here we goood hit him once y oh y spr spr you don't know what to do okay yeah yeah he's confused who ow okay that's fine I'm low on health because I just resurrected God okay me too okay me too I need to we need another tell heart can you uh I've got uh uh how do I uh uh you need grass it's made with grass but you need health to be able to do it oh no I died oh God no one though there should be a Telltale Heart you were killed by Telltale Heart yeah well oh you're robot ghost where is it where is it where is it where is it I don't see it pine cone grass I oh there's no Telltale harp here pick up my grass and make another one I had a lot of grass well I'm low on health too I'll die I need to get heal I had I had two red uh two red uh caps which if you cook them heal you really well all right I need to lead them away you L everything on fire oh who who W how' you do that that can I light him on fire if I I don't know man well I can't cook it he's just following me I can't I I can't help you with that anymore this is the worst episode ever okay here we go I'm going to spit hot fire on these red caps I Spit hot fire get them get them get them get him get him get him get I died I didn't even need it this is some okay you lit him on fire how on fire how did you light him on fire I don't know I'm just clicking the out of him I'm I'm going to click the out of him too we're going to show this and he's dead now this is okay so oh my God we're ghost now why I don't why did that happen I don't know we got to start over how we can't I can haunt the chest can I that's good haunting good job I'm going to start a forest bar I don't give a how did you light everything on fire just click the one tree like crazy I am stop clicking it no matter what you do I don't think this is I was done I don't think we're doing it right we're never going to be alive again bu we can't do it B oh there we go wow what with you oh good another tree monster why are there I I went my whole game without seeing a single one of those damn tree monsters and suddenly we've got two in the same general area God oh that's what we should have done like from the beginning we should have just lit everything on fire I mean that's what I was trying do until you were all hey top L line on fire I'm trying to kill it I didn't know I didn't know how was I to know okay so oh who look at this watch this I know I know we can play backpad football o yeah I know wait hey a torch came out of it so when when we get to the next episode we'll actually be in a place of Good Fortune we'll set up a base we'll actually have something to keep and everything will be great right Bob ye yes uh yes definitely okay good vote of confidence from Bob so thanks again everybody for watching we are so sorry for performing so poorly I promise we'll be better and as always we will see you in the next video bye-bye oh my god oh Mark no that one's not God damn it hell why are you staring so intensely at my crotch waade I I don't know well Bob you want to turn around for no get the camera away oh my God what the hell why did all that happen was with our luck that's horrible good God and The Telltale art killed you and then I got killed just from a red cap by cooking it you said that healed Health did when I ate them they healed me step on fire or something oh no I know what happened I was trying to click on the campfire I was doing it so spastically I must have clicked an uncooked one on myself oh no oh I'm such an idiot that was my fault God damn ithello everybody my name is marbl and welcome back to Don't Starve we survived the night Brokeback Mountain style never mind that's not I thought we weren't going to talk about it it was cold we had to get in the tent we didn't even have a tent get oh get in the tent all right anyway I'm going to restart that cuz that's awful hello everybody my name is marbl and welcome back to Don't Starve with Bob say hi Bob hello welcome welcome we're doing great everything is perfect and we're awesome at video games as ever oh yes I blame Wade as usual i' just like to start this episode by saying I blame Wade okay so what we need to do now is we need to still find the gold Vin hey look look piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy piggy oh he's he's messing with the guys oh he's intentionally messing with the guys dude look at the smackdown this guys oh god oh go get him Pig I don't think he's doing well can we like can we like steal his stuff uh I don't think he has any stuff Ste oh there's a rock over here Pig distract them yeah good job Pig uh where's my pickaxe the pig just died I got one the pig just oh gold V there's a mine yeah yeah get it it I'm getting it do it I will protect you or whatever okay get that gold if you can damn it we need to be oh exceeds carrying capacity that's the thing I need hang on hang on hang on what we need need to do is we need to build a chest and to build a chest I need to refine wood so I'm going to refine wood boence machine should I build yes you should build that actually that's actually a goodidea build the science machine I have to place it here though we don't want this to be our area Hang on we're going to go back we need to cooperate corroborate whatever you know I can't say words I'm a crazy old lady hang on so I need where this crazy old lady I was just looking at it oh build uh okay I'm making logs into boards and the board will be made into a chest and then with the chest I'll be able to can I get okay with a chest I'll be able we we we'll be able God damn it I can't say words today we'll be how the hell do you know all these recipes I feel left out because I am an old lady and I'm very smart and I know a lot of things I was a librarian I'm going to dig this grave bad for my li a librarian there's too many trees here I'll dig it for you old lady no I already got it no no it's already done I reduced my sanity whatever whatever let's go back to let's go back home so that we can address this issue properly wait wait wait I have to pick up hardened rubber bung I know I dug it out of the Grave cuz someone buried themselves with it for some damn reason is that not worth having I have no idea you know there's a lot of items in this I'm pass I'm going to pass yeah there's a lot of items in here that I figure are junk but you never know they might actually be something off the universe no you can't I have I've tried many times that's good cuz I was going to so oh good yes please yes where did our fires go so are we trying to go back to where our fires were the place where all the golden spiders were no no no go go go no oh we should build a base right here so that we can have a place to attack them when the time comes yeah yeah sounds good I know okay so I'm going to build the chest you're going to like this should I build the science machine here yes we should totally where where should I put it okay I'm building this sturdy container right there yes I'll put the science machine right near that then yes exactly perfect this going be fantastic that way that way yeah science machine wow that was surprisingly easy yay yeah there's no crafting time in here it's like instantaneous you plop It On The Ground there it is ooh I can make a backpack yes yes yes yes oh yeah I forgot about the backpack that's right why do you know more about this game than I do why am I I am the greatest well that's an exaggeration let's let's not go crazy make a Telltale ow well then I made a Telltale Heart but I can bring a ghost back to life oh why did it sound like you got punched in the face I did get punched in the face it sucked my blood I'm going to put that in the chest so that we have type of shovel now hooray I could have made you a shovel and an opulent pickaxe that sounds fun I don't know what an opulent pickaxe is prototype of shovel that's right Pitchfork what's a razor for uh shaving in case you robot grow a robot beard I can shave my Robo beard how many rocks do you have uh uh which one is rocks six rocks six rocks poop we can't make a bigger campfire so we got to stick with poop I I can't make a big can make a fire pit please oh you can make a wait why can't you make a fire pit Moosh it takes like 12 like sule and thusly with the fire pit I don't how did you do that uh I a fire pit takes two logs and 12 St Jon I must have had two stacks of of rock yeah you lied to me maybe I'm a dummy yeah when we do this we're going to have to have 100% confidence each other if we're going to survive this adventure well I have to say I have I have okay eyesight but I cannot see qu Tre Monster Run Away oh oh run are you kidding me I don't know it was just I I I don't no no no no no no no no no wait wait wait I have an idea I have an idea burn it oh you're right oh why are you so good at this game burn how how are you how do you even know this stuff is he is he going to light all of our things on fire he might just do that oh why aren't you dying I I'll oh every oh oh God I can't go near him because he lights me on fire fire well let's lead him away from the forest no and he's out of fire this is not going well you distract him I'll smack him in the butt hit whoa who wait I'm light him he's coming after me well don't I can't I got to I got to hit him I got him it can't that has to damage him it maybe it does there no possible way that does not damage well maybe it would be easier if we were hitting him too he's a tree monster okay okay I'll kite him you hit him I'm hitting him good oh oh okay okay I got I'm not going to be a ghost again okay oh I'm going to be a ghost again no no I got it we're going to get it are we doing anything at all to him I have no idea really dark how are we supposed to oh no oh no okay wait he doesn't know what to do he's so confused oh no no he got me it's okay he doesn't Barry add some intense Combat music to this okay yeah it's like we take turns and then he turns oh yeah you spider get out of here spider you're ruining our plans ow why is the spider hit me I'm going to die again God damn it spider kite the spider this way yeah yeah yeah I don't know what to do oh no oh no oh I know I know our camp is going terribly wrong why did we camp here I don't know why was there a dream monster right by us oh kill him he's almost okay he's almost dead he almost out out out oh good God oh Jesus try to lead the oh God oh God oh God oh God there I got him spider down spider's down okay okay okay why did I eat the monster meat I didn't want to I am being poisoned I didn't want to do that okay if I die there's a heart in the chest why is there another spider this is going wonderfully this so fast shut up it's fine no actually it's not so bad okay it's day is everything better now oh my God what how do we get rid of the tree no come here you bastard okay yes yes yes yes yes yes okay dead good good I'll take the silk all right I'll put in the chest go back to kiting the tree monster back and forth okay we're going to get this guy eventually I'm going to store this in this can't Poss to be Invincible no no no no no no no no no no we'll just do the back and forth the back and back and forth seat who okay well then are you kidding me I a ghost I'll haunt him so how do I chest how do I Telltale Heart you can you put it on my face give Oh yay away whoa Alan I'm going go get my stuff again your axe I I will kite I will kite him away from you get your axe I'm getting it I'm getting it I'm getting it okay I got my axe got this all right here we goood hit him once y oh y spr spr you don't know what to do okay yeah yeah he's confused who ow okay that's fine I'm low on health because I just resurrected God okay me too okay me too I need to we need another tell heart can you uh I've got uh uh how do I uh uh you need grass it's made with grass but you need health to be able to do it oh no I died oh God no one though there should be a Telltale Heart you were killed by Telltale Heart yeah well oh you're robot ghost where is it where is it where is it where is it I don't see it pine cone grass I oh there's no Telltale harp here pick up my grass and make another one I had a lot of grass well I'm low on health too I'll die I need to get heal I had I had two red uh two red uh caps which if you cook them heal you really well all right I need to lead them away you L everything on fire oh who who W how' you do that that can I light him on fire if I I don't know man well I can't cook it he's just following me I can't I I can't help you with that anymore this is the worst episode ever okay here we go I'm going to spit hot fire on these red caps I Spit hot fire get them get them get them get him get him get him get I died I didn't even need it this is some okay you lit him on fire how on fire how did you light him on fire I don't know I'm just clicking the out of him I'm I'm going to click the out of him too we're going to show this and he's dead now this is okay so oh my God we're ghost now why I don't why did that happen I don't know we got to start over how we can't I can haunt the chest can I that's good haunting good job I'm going to start a forest bar I don't give a how did you light everything on fire just click the one tree like crazy I am stop clicking it no matter what you do I don't think this is I was done I don't think we're doing it right we're never going to be alive again bu we can't do it B oh there we go wow what with you oh good another tree monster why are there I I went my whole game without seeing a single one of those damn tree monsters and suddenly we've got two in the same general area God oh that's what we should have done like from the beginning we should have just lit everything on fire I mean that's what I was trying do until you were all hey top L line on fire I'm trying to kill it I didn't know I didn't know how was I to know okay so oh who look at this watch this I know I know we can play backpad football o yeah I know wait hey a torch came out of it so when when we get to the next episode we'll actually be in a place of Good Fortune we'll set up a base we'll actually have something to keep and everything will be great right Bob ye yes uh yes definitely okay good vote of confidence from Bob so thanks again everybody for watching we are so sorry for performing so poorly I promise we'll be better and as always we will see you in the next video bye-bye oh my god oh Mark no that one's not God damn it hell why are you staring so intensely at my crotch waade I I don't know well Bob you want to turn around for no get the camera away oh my God what the hell why did all that happen was with our luck that's horrible good God and The Telltale art killed you and then I got killed just from a red cap by cooking it you said that healed Health did when I ate them they healed me step on fire or something oh no I know what happened I was trying to click on the campfire I was doing it so spastically I must have clicked an uncooked one on myself oh no oh I'm such an idiot that was my fault God damn it\n"