As I sit here on Christmas Eve, surrounded by the festive decorations and the occasional " Bah humbug!" from my family members, I find myself staring at Psycho Santa, a game that has left me utterly perplexed. It's a 1993 release from Bullfrog Productions, the same team behind Populous, Theme Park, and other classic games. I'm not sure what's more astonishing - the fact that this game was released exclusively through the magazine The One Amiga or the sheer audacity of its premise.

The gameplay begins with you taking over Santa's soul, assuming control of his body and sleigh, which is conveniently attached to two gravity-defying reindeer. You're just kind of roaming around through the fluttering snowflakes, dodging things in the sky. Yes, you read that right - there are death demons in the sky, trying to kill you, alongside other impossible flying creatures. It's not exactly a storybook Christmas, unless your storybook was written by Dr. Seuss under the influence of something rather... unusual.

At the beginning of each level, you're given a goal: make a certain number of houses happy. Not the children, mind you, but the houses themselves. I feel bad now - all these years, I've been buying gifts for my loved ones while ignoring my own house. It's a simple enough goal, with a Defender-esque landscape to cover, enemies to avoid, and a supply of presents to deliver to the houses below. But then things take a turn for the worse. Santa tosses the presents from the rear of the sleigh instead of straight down or forward, making for some of the most awkward gift delivery I've ever experienced.

This adds a thick layer of annoyance to the gameplay that shouldn't be there. You're constantly battling against yourself to try and stay above the houses while avoiding all the damaging crap flying at you. It's back and forth, and back and forth again - a never-ending cycle of frustration that really shouldn't be part of this game. I'm not sure what's more disturbing - the fact that Santa has become a psycho or the sheer amount of unnecessary complexity added to an otherwise simple premise.

As I progress through the levels, I find that things only get worse. The goal is to grab all the presents from a massive tree before time runs out. Sounds straightforward enough, but you have to be at just the right angle to collect each present, and it's got that weird gameplay element that requires you to press Jump at just the right time to jump even higher. I've never been good at these kinds of things, and this one is definitely not my cup of tea.

Eventually, the inevitable happens - you run out of presents to deliver. The game takes a turn for the absurd as you're forced to confront a death demon thing at the top of the sky and smack it with snowballs until it dies. Listening to it scream in both channels of audio until it explodes into a bunch of presents which you need to gather before they hit the ground. It's not exactly the most heartwarming experience, let me tell you.

As I wrap up my time with Psycho Santa, I'm left wondering what could have been. Bullfrog Productions had the potential to create something truly special, but instead, we're left with a game that's devoid of interesting gameplay and relies on repetitive mechanics to get by. The only redeeming quality is the music - it's catchy, if a bit unsettling given the context.

I've heard rumors of a more complete Psycho Santa experience from Bullfrog, but I couldn't find any evidence of its existence. If such a version does exist, I'd love to see it. But as it stands, this game is nothing short of a disappointment. So, to all you fans out there, never mind - if you have the full game, I don't really care. Merry freakin' Christmas and have a happy whatever.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enAahhh!LGR:What?Here it is, Christmas Eve,and I'm looking at Psycho Santa.What's wrong with me?What's right with me?I am the Lazy Game Reviewerand I look at weird games like this,and Psycho Santa is friggin' weird.It's a game from 1993,released exclusively throughthe magazine The One Amiga.And it was developed by Bullfrog Productions.Yes. *That* Bullfrog.The same guys responsible forthe Populous games, Theme Park,and a bunch of other friggin' awesome stuff.I'd love to think Peter Molyneux hadsomething to do with something this ridiculous,but that's probably just wishful thinkingThe credits credit Michael C. Diskett,Gary Carrand Kevin Earl.Uh, Diskett sounds like a bit of a fishy name... to me.Either that or that's justfreakishly appropriate for a coder.Whatever the case, this is Psycho Santaand it starts off with that music thatyou've been hearing in the background,which is actually pretty catchy.The gameplay begins with youpresumably taking over Santa's soul,assuming control of his body and his sleigh,which is conveniently attached totwo weird, gravity-defying reindeer.You're just kind of roaming aroundthrough the fluttering snowflakes,dodging... things... in the sky.Eh, you know, you may as well just throwaway any preconceived notions you may havefor what a Christmas game should bebecause the only one this followsis that presents have to be delivered.Otherwise, you have death demons in the skyand other impossible flyingcreatures trying to kill you.Not exactly a storybook Christmas.Unless, perhaps, your storybook was writtenby Dr. Seuss under the influence of stupid.At the beginning of each level, you're given a goal,which is to make a certain number of houses happy.That's right: not the children, the houses.Man, I feel bad now. Always buyinggifts for my loved ones over the yearsand ignoring my house this entire time.And this seems like a simple enough goalwith a Defender-esque landscapeto cover, enemies to avoidand a supply of presents todeliver to the houses below.But an issue ariseswhen you realize that Santa is a psycho,and for some reason tosses thepresents from the rear of the sleighinstead of straight down, or forward.This makes for some of the most awkwardgift delivery I have ever experiencedand it adds a thick layer ofannoyingness to the gameplaythat really shouldn't be there.So you're constantly battlingagainst yourself to try and stayabove the houses and avoid allthe damaging crap flying at you.Yes, folks. This is the game.Back and forth and back and forthand forth and back and back and forthand forth-back until youmove on to the bonus level.Here, you find that Santa has apparentlybeaten and robbed Commander Keenand now has a pogo stick.And the goal is to grab all thepresents from this massive treebefore time massively runs out.That was stupid. Why did I say that?It was pretty straightforward here,but you have to be at just the right angleto collect each present, and it'sgot that weird gameplay elementthat requires you to press Jumpat just the right time inorder to jump even higher.It's that trampoline feeling,and I've never, ever beengood at these kinds of thingsand I'm not very fond of this one either.At all. Nope.Then it's on to the next level,which is really the same as the first levelexcept with more houses to pleaseand more crap to avoid.Eventually, the inevitable happensand you'll be out of presents to deliver.mainly because of Santa's unreasonable fearof just dropping things directly below him.What you've gotta do is go andconfront a death demon thingat the top of the sky...and smack it with snowballs. In the face.Listening to it scream in bothchannels of audio until it dies.And when it does, it will explodeinto a bunch of presents which youneed to gather before they hit the ground.And that is Psycho Santa, such as it is.It's a free game that came with a magazineand you can tell.I mean, what do you expect?Well, I'll tell you what I expectedand that is a game that lives upto its own psycho moniker.I can imagine a lot more psycho of a Santathan one who just refusesto drop presents properly.That's not psycho! That's stupid!I guess I just somehow envisionedSanta as an axe murdereror something simple like that, but alas,this is not that game.But as it is, it's just notworth recommending at allbecause it's devoid ofany interesting gameplay,and what it does have is repetitive at best.Apparently, there was going to be a morecomplete Psycho Santa experience by Bullfrog,but I can't find any evidenceof that actually happening.And that's too bad because the gamedoes have some pretty sweet stuff.It's got music and a name.Eh– ughhh...Well, actually, that's all it has.So never mind. If you have thefull game, I don't really care.Merry freakin' Christmasand have a happy whatever.MALE VOICE:Oh, no!\n"