The Art of Aphrodisiacs: A Scientific Investigation
As I embarked on my investigation into the world of aphrodisiacs, I couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and trepidation. What would I discover? Would these natural remedies live up to their promise of igniting passion and desire? Or were they just a big PR stunt? My first stop was the salad bar, where I encountered a peculiar combination of ingredients that seemed designed to tickle my taste buds rather than stimulate my senses.
Motorboat My Watermelons: A Salty Delight
The watermelon, typically associated with refreshing summer days and sweet treats, had been transformed into a savory delight. With the addition of mint, coriander, and a sprinkle of gorgonzola cheese, this salad was more about the act of consumption than the culinary experience itself. The science behind it was more about the brain's response to the sensory stimulation rather than any physical effect. I had to admit, though, that the sheer force of will required to shove those chunks of watermelon into my mouth made it a thrilling experience.
A Swordfish Steaks with Garlic, Ginger, and Chilli Jam
Next up was the swordfish, a fish that seemed to embody the very essence of masculinity – long, hard, and pointy. It was paired with an array of ingredients that promised to ignite passion: cognac, garlic, ginger, and chili peppers all blended together in a rich, buttery sauce. The combination was undeniably potent, and I found myself salivating at the prospect of taking a bite.
A Date with a Scientist
My date with the scientist who was vehemently opposed to natural remedies had finally arrived. I presented my findings, including the figs that could be licked for their suggestive effect and the oysters that were supposed to evoke feminine features. His response? "They don't work." Period. No matter how appetizing the spread looked or tasted, there was no scientific evidence to support its aphrodisiac properties.
A Lesson in Chemistry
As we sat down to enjoy my creation, he revealed that his opposition to natural remedies stemmed from the lack of scientific proof behind them. "They don't work," he repeated, with a hint of disappointment. I couldn't help but feel a pang of frustration – had all my hard work been for nothing? But then it hit me: the lesson in chemistry that I had learned along the way.
Consensual Whipping: A Surprising Alternative?
As we finished our meal and parted ways, he dropped a bombshell: consensual whipping was actually more effective than any natural aphrodisiac. It seemed that my own enthusiasm for whipping with leather belts had been a misguided attempt to recreate the magic of the ancient Greeks. Who knew that a little bit of pain could be so... arousing?
The National Sentiment
As I gazed out at the sea of skepticism, I realized that I was part of a larger movement – one that saw complementary and alternative medicines as nothing more than quackery. "Science disproves everything," he declared, with a shrug of his shoulders. And in that moment, I knew that my entire investigation had been for naught.
A Wishful Thinking
And yet... as I stood alone, surrounded by the remnants of my failed experiment, I couldn't help but feel a spark of defiance. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but I knew that there was something to be said for the power of imagination and desire. After all, what if aphrodisiacs weren't about science at all – but about the thrill of the unknown? The mystery of human attraction?
Perhaps, in the end, that's the greatest aphrodisiac of all: the thrill of discovery itself.
"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enThis girl eats food.The natural aphrodisiacsepisode, we're exploringstuff like Magnum TonicWine, asparagus, oysters,Chinese herbal remedies,and Mannish water,which is made ingoat testicles.Oh, my God,this ones horny.In the U.K. alone,we spend over 4.5 billionpounds a year on naturalhealth remedies, withalternative therapistsnow outnumbering GPs.You can useparts of everypossible treatmentyou can think of.Naturally, one of the topareas we've been lookingto treat isour sex lives.Since the dawn of time,man has beensearching forpotions tofacilitate banging.From the Romans chompingdown oysters tothe West Indies swearingby goat intestine soup.That man right there,lucky they ate it.Oh you'll love it.So, I'm going to beinvestigating the worldof natural aphrodisiacsbefore testingmy newfound sexualstimulant knowledge ona professor ofpharmacology.Can you tell me what itis that you don't likeabout naturalaphrodisiacs?They don't work.On my way to see Cliveat Refill food andhe's gonna make mesome Mannish water,which is like a goattesticle soup.It's supposed to makeyou very virile.Mannish water is allabout the goat's head,feet, offal.It's all of themmixed up together.Everything?And why goat?It's the taste andthe actual odor ofthe meat itself.Urine like.You're not selling this.The best tastinggoat meat isactually from the male.It's got a stronger odor.Is that why youuse testicles?Yeah, andyou can also fry andeat the testicles andthey taste really nice.The term Mannish is likewanting to be a man.He wants to grow up andwants to be strong.So Westerncultures' oysters.Yeah.Chinese people haveherbal remedies.Yeah.Andyou have Spanish waron.Yeah.What can you do?It's tradition.I ain't gonna, I ain'tgonna try to kill,to kill tradition.I'm gonna, I'm gonnatry and let it live on.The foot.These ones are fromthe small intestine.That's the teeth.That's the nose.Oh, a littlebilly goat nose.Yeah.Nothing goes to waste.Smells good.Spicy.Just tastes likea really savory broth.Another staple of theWest Indian aphrodisiacscene, that sells inpretty much everyoff-license in Londonis Magnum Tonic Wine.Containing a blendof vitamins, anda sexual stimulantnamed Vigorton.It's also got a 17.5%alcohol volume.So at least there'salways the guaranteedside effect ofgetting drunk.I took to the streets ofBritain to test it out ona sexy public.Anyone try myaphrodisiacs.Why would you notwanna taste that?Magnum?Yeah.You know that?Yeah, I know that.Mannish water.Yeah, heard of that.Heard of that.I'd rather drink that.What does that do?Iron in your back.Uh-huh.With vitamin.And the other?What's, what's that mean?Yeah, it makesyour thing stand.So I'm about to meeta guy called Keltie who'sa master of tantric yogaand plant extracts.It's all supposed to helpme with my sexual desire,vitality and ability.In this posture,you can even gaze intoeach other's eyes,feel the connection.Hi.In these yoga postures,we're putting ourselvesinto resonance with thesevery powerful universalenergies like love,willpower, vitality andso on.With your plants was verymuch in the same way.Every plant,it has a healing propertyif you know how touse it properly.So when you're workingwith plants, you'realso taking the resinsof that plant into you.And you're gonna awakenall kinds of things.So this is maca.So this is a,a South American root.The Peruvian warriorsused to take thisbefore going intobattle cuz it made themkind of virile and,.Potent and strong.This is a verygood stimulant.Mm.See, your hinda.Makes a hard man.Even harder.I feel like I can usea lotus in my life.Try a sip of that.Mm.Mm.It tastes likeit's good for you.'Kay, now you fallinto a deep coma andyou wake up inthree days.Yes.Yeah.Fall in love withthe first person you see,yeah.My mouth kind of tastedlike mud so I wasn'tfeeling very seductiveafter my plant extractsbut I was assured by guruKalki that shit wouldkick off after Ihad a sexy massage.I feel like I hada big cup of sweet hotchocolate andlike I've justgot to have a reallynice lie down.On the way to meetthe holy chefwho's got a cookbook fullof aphrodisiac recipes.I wanna see if he thinksthe recipes actually workor if it's alla big PR stunt?This salad isMotorboat My Watermelons.Okay.Gonna rock it, bit ofmint, bit of coriander.Are these sexy?Or are they justnice nice withsome watermelon?They're just nicewith some watermelon.It's got thatwhole section thiswhen we drip anddribble and things.Yeah.So it's not so muchwhat's in the watermelon.But the fact that youhave to shove it inyour face.Pretty much.And coriander.A little bit of walnut.Scrape up a little there.That's not essential,but it is.Gorgonzola cheese.Toss it all around a bit.The science involved ismore to do with the brainthan it is to do with anyother physical effect.Next up is the swordfish.The thing aboutswordfish is it's long,hard and pointy.What a violentlooking fish, though.It's like it goes pastphallic into just war.Ginger, garlic andchilli are just goinginto the butter.We're talking aboutalcohol being one of thehuge, main aphrodisiac,so this is cognac.Alcohol is a greataphrodisiac.Which I'm just gonnaadd a splash of.Oh, wow.Swordfish ispretty close.Mm-hm.Let's dig out this lovelyfi, fish.A look at that.All right, and so, whatwe've got here is thata swordfish inyour pocket, orare you justpleased to see me.That's a swordfish steakin a garlic, ginger andchile and brandy jam.Mm.And it's served with(inaudible) salad.Gorgonzola through thatwith a mint corianderjust makes a really nicesweet, cantil effect,sort of, sort of slimysaltiness of the gem.It's a big day.It's my date witha scientist who'sa pharmacologist, andhe's vehemently opposedto all things naturalremedies, butI'm gonna make one lastattempt at seducing himwith all the aphrodisiacsI found along the way.Magnum tonic wine,asparagus spears.They look like dicksapparently, sothat's a thing.Oysters whichis a classic,because clams lookvaginas, yeah?The last pair of figs,that you can lickout suggestively.And then some cheese,because cheese.Last of all,the most important lessonI've learned so far aboutaphrodisiacs is a magicingredient, called booze!Ooh!Now I just need toprepare my food, andset the scene.Sexy, sexy sceneto get him going.Hi.Hello.Can you tell me what itis you don't like aboutnatural aphrodisiacs?They don't work.Really?Period, yes, yes.What, none of mybeautiful spread?No, looks very nice.Tastes very nice,some of it.But just doesn't workas an aphrodisiac.Got some oysters here.Which are said to remindmen of female genitalia,and that's suppose toact as an aphrodisiac.Yet, have you found itimproved his performance,I'll bet not.I don't have a man yet.I was hoping to-.Score one this way.So why do you thinkit's so popular?There are many thingsthat regular medicinecan't do, so people whenthey realize that they'renot getting better justpay money to any oldquack to, in the hopethat he will cure them.Do you think our sexlives are something we'rejust fixated with becausewe're all deviants?I didn't have muchtrouble with it whenI was young.Oh, really?I didn't.A long time ago, I meta girlfriend who asked meto ball of penwith leather belt.Did you?I did on condition shedid the same to me.I actually didquite well,quite better thanany other whip.Is consensual whippingmore effective thannatural aphrodisiacs?Well it depends if youlike it or not, I mean,it is forthose who likes it,other people would beappalled by the idea.The final wordis that sciencedisproves everything.I agree foronce totally withthe national sentiment ofcomplementary andalternative medicines,which says,no complementary.Health approaches havebeen shown to be safe oreffective forsexual enhancement ortreating erectiledysfunction.So nothing-.On this table,my entire investigationis probably all bullshit.All bullshit.100%.Okay.Wishful thinking.Well thank you.I'm gonna throw thisall out the window now.So it turns outaphrodisiacs are all bullshit.This has been fornothing.And I'm alone.\n"
