The New Car Show: A Review of the Dinan-Tuned BMW M55i
Are you a rich ass dad who wants to go fast as heck on your way to soccer practice, or work, or wherever it is rich dads go? Well, have I got a car for you! This week, I drove a Dinan tuned BMW M55i. And now, I'm gonna talk about it.
The normal BMW M550i is no slouch to begin with. It's got a 4.4-liter, twin turbocharged V8, making 456 horsepower and around 480 pounds of torque. When you add the very good eight-speed automatic transmission, you get a BMW five series that gets to 60 in less than four seconds. It's a big bulky dude that friggin' cooks, just like my cousin Drew. 'Sup Drew.
This car also has launch control. And when you punch it, all four wheels hook up and shove your head in the back of the seat. Man grunting. It has tons of grip but honestly, it feels more like a rear-wheel-drive car. A proper BMW. BMW won't tell anyone's specific power splits between the front and the back wheels. All we know is that it's adaptive and rear-biased. Just like me.
The BMW M550i is a great car for a cool rich dad. But what if you want more? What if you want to be the fastest dad in the carpool lane? Well, you call up Dinan. Dinan is one of the best-known BMW tuners in the entire friggin' world. They know a thing or two about making a fast BMW. They've won the 24 Hours of Daytona twice. And they have one of the most recognizable badges of any aftermarket tuner company.
They are so good, and meticulous, and cool that BMW will still honor your factory warranty with Dinan parts. The car I drove was actually owned by Dinan and had a whole slew of their parts thrown at it. I'm gonna go through 'em in order of how cool I think they are.
First off, good ol' jubgot dang fast stuff!!! This car has Dinan's dinantronics stage one tune. Made up by a guy in the '50s, thinking of the future. - What did I tell you!? This 'puter tune is 50-state legal. In fact, it's the only tune for this car that can say that. It's all very impressive and technical.
Computer, computer, yep yep yep yepyepyepyep-- Um, you sure-It's designed to be used with all of the other Dinan product. And when you pair it with the mid-pipe and stainless exhaust, you get a 600 horsepower five series. That's not an M5. I am the fastest, coolest dad in the world.
You handsome son of a (beep), I hope you never die. The exhaust is really nice. It keeps it really quiet at low RPMs but as the tach climbs she opens up and is all MEHHHHH! Holy (beep). Them brakes, good breaks too. You're accelerating super fast and the only way you know that is when you look down and see that you're going... exactly the speed limit.
They seemed really stoked about the black exhaust tips too. Cool tips dudes! Do more! The car is also equipped with Dinan springs, which stiffen the car up and give it a little bit of a lower stance. The latter is accentuated by the 20-inch foreestar wheels. The car handles really well, and the Michelin Pilot Sports makes some pretty cool noises when you have to do an impromptu U-turn on Sepulveda right by the Getty. Don't tell the cops.
No cops! I actually did pull a (beep) sick U-turn. Wehh!(car skids). Never do this many U-turns in regular, real-life driving. So, what is this thing like to drive? In multiple words, awesome, luxurious, fast!
BMW drivers get a lot of flack. But every time I sit in the captain's chair of a BMW, I'm reminded as to why these things are referred to as the ultimate driving machine. The steering wheel is exactly where you want it to be. Every switch and button does exactly what you think it's gonna do. And BMW makes the best seats in the friggin' world.
I love 'em. All of them have got got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got a got got got.
WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: en- Are you a rich ass dadwho wants to go fast as heckon his way to soccer practice, or work,or wherever it is rich dads go?Well have I got a car for you!This week, I drove a Dinan tuned BMW M55i.And now, I'm gonna talk about it.It's the new car show, hosted by me,the Internet's loudestcar boy, James Pumphrey!(electric dance music)The normal BMW M550i isno slouch to begin with.It's got a 4.4 liter,twin turbo charged V8,making 456 horsepower, andaround 480 pounds of torque.When you add the very goodeight-speed automatic transmission,you get a BMW five series that gets to 60in less than four seconds.It's a big bulky dude that friggin' cooks,just like my cousin Drew. 'Sup Drew.This car also has launch control.And when you punch it,all four wheels hook upand shove your head inthe back of the seat.(man grunting)It has tons of grip but honestly,it feels more like a rear-wheeldrive car. A proper BMW.BMW won't tell anyonespecific power splitsbetween the front and the back wheels.All we know, is that it'sadaptive and rear biased.Just like me.So, the BMW M550iis a great carfor a cool rich dad.But what if you want more?What if you want to be thefastest dad in the carpool lane?Well, you call up Dinan.Dinan is one of the best-known BMW tunersin the entire friggin' world.They know a thing or twoabout making a fast BMW.They've won the 24 hours of Daytona twice.And they have one of themost recognizable badgesof any aftermarket tuner company.They are so good, and meticulous, and coolthat BMW will still honoryour factory warrantywith Dinan parts.The car I drove wasactually owned by Dinanand had a whole slew oftheir parts thrown at it.I'm gonna go through 'em in orderof how cool I think they are.First dat good ol' jubgot dang fast stuff!!!This car has Dinan'sdinantronics stage one tune.Made up by a guy in the'50s, thinking of the future.- What did I tell you!?This 'puter tune is 50-state legal.In fact, it's the only tunefor this car that can say that.It's all very impressive and technical.- Computer, computer,yep yep yep yepyepyepyep-- Um, you sure-It's designed to be usedwith all of the other Dinan product.And when you pair it with the mid-pipeand stainless exhaust, you geta 600 horsepower five series.That's not an M5.I am the fastest,coolest dad in the world.You handsome son of a(beep), I hope you never die.The exhaust is really nice.It keeps it really quiet at low RPMsbut as the tach climbs sheopens up and is all MEHHHHH!Holy (beep).(engine gently revs)Them brakes, good breaks too.You're accelerating super fastand the only way you know thatis when you look down andsee that you're going...exactly the speed limit.They seemed really stoked aboutthe black exhaust tips too.Cool tips dudes! Do more!The car is also equippedwith Dinan springs,which stiffen the car upand give it a littlebit of a lower stance.The latter, is accentuated bythe 20-inch forgestar wheels.The car handles really well,and the Michelin Pilot Sportsmakes some pretty coolnoises when you have to doan impromptu U-turn onSepulveda right by the Getty.Don't tell the cops. No cops!I actually did pull a (beep) sick U-turn.Wehhh!(car skids)(surf music)Never do this many U-turns inregular, real-life driving.So, what is this thing like to drive?In multiple words,awesome, luxurious, fast!BMW drivers get a lot of flack.But every time I sit in thecaptain's chair of a BMW,I'm reminded as to why thesethings are referred to asthe ultimate driving machine.The steering wheel is exactlywhere you want it to be.Every switch and button does exactlywhat you think it's gonna do.And BMW makes the bestseats in the friggin' world.I love 'em.All of them have the littlethigh support. Woop woop.The G30 is a big car.But you know exactly whereall of the corners are.We drove on Tuna Canyon,which is a beautiful,single-lane road that snakesthrough the hills of Malibu.And I was never nervousabout hitting anything.And I'm usually reallynervous about hitting stuffwhen I'm in cars that costmore than my yearly salary.Email (beep) @donut. (beep) and say,"Please, pay Pumphrey more money."The M550iis a really good car.And once Dinan is donewith it, it's a great one.We make a new show like every day.If you like them anddon't wanna miss them,hit this button that isapparently a subscribe button,we didn't know. Follow Donuton Instagram, @donutmedia.You wanna buy some Donutstuff? Go to shop.donut.media.You like BMWs? What this "Upto Speed" episode on the M3.This car has two turbos. Youwanna know how they work?Check out this episodeof "Science Garage,"hosted by my bestfriend, Bart. I love you.
