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The Power of Embracing Exaggeration and Laughing: A Game Changer for External Success

Embracing exaggeration and laughing can be an absolute game changer when it comes to external success. Once you get this down, you'll still have to do the inner work, but on the external side, it makes all the difference.

I'd like to share a story with you about one of my clients who worked on improving his social skills. We were in London many years ago, and he wanted to start saying hi to people on the street. At first, some were friendly and returned the greeting, but nothing really stuck. He came back to me frustrated, and I asked him what was wrong.

He explained that no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't seem to make a connection with anyone. But then he realized that his approach wasn't working because of his negative mindset and lack of confidence. So, we decided to try something different.

Instead of focusing on the negative, we started exaggerating our greetings and laughing at ourselves. We'd say hello with a big smile and laugh along with the person we were talking to. It may sound silly, but it worked! People began to notice our positive energy and responded in kind.

The client's social skills started to improve dramatically, and he found himself becoming more confident in his interactions with others. He realized that by embracing exaggeration and laughing, he was able to make a difference on the external side and ultimately become invincible.

This experience taught me the importance of not just focusing on our inner work but also working on our external game. By adopting a positive and playful approach, we can create a ripple effect that inspires others to do the same. And that's when the magic happens – we become unstoppable.

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"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: en- Embrace, exaggerate, laugh.Once you get this down,again, you'll still haveto do the inner work,but on the external side,it is an absolute game changerand it ultimately makes itso you become invincible.I'll share with you a story.This is a client,and we were out, this is in London, right?Many years ago, we were outand he wanted to workon his social skills,and he started saying hi to some people.And you know, some were saying hi,they were being nice, butnothing was really sticking.And he comes back to me and he's like,\"Julien, it'll just never work.\"Maybe I should just give up on this.\"Maybe it's not for me.\"And I was like, \"No, no, no.\"Let's get it going.\"Embrace, exaggerate, laugh.\"'Cause here's what happens.Once you're in that loop andyou started self-attacking,it's easy to go kind of victim,like, well, what's the point?You know, maybe other people can socializeand have great social livesand friends and stuff,but not me, right?Some of us will still haveto keep the metaverse going,so maybe that's just me, you know?So you're just spiralingdown and spiraling down.When that happens, okay,and I told him this,step one is embrace it.Don't fight it, all right?If you fight it, it makes things worse,because what tends tohappen is you feel bad,and then you feel bad about feeling bad,and then you feel bad aboutfeeling bad about feeling bad,and it's just endless.So feel good about feeling bad.Step one, embrace.So I told him, embracewhat you're feeling.He's like, \"But I'm kind of sad.\"Embrace it.There's literally tears.From there, you'regonna keep taking actionand you're going to exaggerate this.You're going to exaggerate it to the pointwhere you perhaps findit funny and laugh at it.And I say, \"Okay, go say hito those people over there.\"And the way I want him to say hiis, \"You're gonna go say hi\"and you're gonna tellthem just how sad you are.\"(crowd chuckles)And he went up, and again, just teary.He's like, \"Hey, you know,I'm really sad, and yeah.\"And they're like, \"Oh, don't be sad,\"and talked a little bit.And after, like, 20 seconds,he comes back to me.I'm like, \"Great.\"How do you feel right now?\"\"I mean, I'm still sad,but a little bit better.\"\"All right, go tellthat person you felt sad\"but you feel a little bit better now.\"And okay, \"I feel a little bit sad.\"And then he comes back and hehas a little hint of a smile,like, yeah, that was kind of funny.I'm like, \"Cool.\"How would you perhapsexaggerate it more,\" right?\"Go tell that person you were sad.\"You're a little bit less sad now,\"but you would be 100 percent not sad\"if you just watched more Julien videos.\"And he goes and tells that personand comes back with a laugh,and then we just keep that going.And he embraced,exaggerated, laughed himselfback into an amazing goodmood and had an amazing time.And this formula, though it sounds simple,there's so much to it.First of all, embracing releasesany resistance you have to the issue.Exaggerating it is caricaturizing itto the point where you just overblow itand you start laughing at it,and that strips it ofits power completely.I also apply this, for example,and you can apply it if you runout of things to say, right?And most people are like,\"What if I run out of things to say?\"It's the end of the world.\"Embrace, exaggerate, laugh.Embrace is perhaps telling the person,\"Hey, I just ran out of things to say,\"and you could exaggerate it.\"You know, I'm a pretty boring person.\"I don't have much to talk about.\"I have those two topics.\"We just exhausted them,\" right?(crowd laughs)Now notice, it summons genuine laughterand now it no longer controls you.'Cause what do people do?It's like, I ran out of things to say.Stupid, stupid.I should have learned, like, I should've,I can't believe this is happening.Meanwhile, it's all this self-attack.Embrace, exaggerate, laugh.This formula, you could literallyapply it anywhere, right?Oh, I've made a fool of myself.Embrace, exaggerate, laugh.Go up to the next person and tell themhow you made a fool of yourself.For real.This here will get you outof a lot of state crashes,where you spiral down.It'll help you just getreally creative, right?Where now you're linking thingsthat are happening to humor,which generates good vibes,which is extremely attractive to people,and ultimately you become invincible.There's always a way toembrace, exaggerate, laugh,no matter what happens.Even the craziest situation,embrace, exaggerate, laugh,and what you'll notice, especiallywhen it comes to verbals,is that, and even your life story, right?If your life was a movie,is that there are two types of situationsthat really stand out.One are the epic situations,and it's epic where therereally is a part of growththat happens in it.'Cause you'll have epic situationswhere it's just kind of happening,but you'll forget those,but the ones where you reallystretch yourself and growand it's epic, you'll remember those.And the other stories that'll stand outare the stories where you makea complete fool of yourselfand you're just so embarrassed by it,but it's just such a funny, crazy storythat you'll remember those.And those, too, amazing verbal ammunition,but you gotta learn especiallyhow to laugh at you.And that's what this teaches you,it teaches you how to embraceit and how to laugh at you.You can't be takingyourself so seriously, okay?And this is ultimatelyself-amusement, right?People try to go the logical route.It's like, what can Isay or do to self-amuse?Well, how about learning howto laugh at yourself, right?An exercise I give people,and even now just thinking about it,guaranteed it's gonna make you,the majority of you genuinely laugh.Are you ready?You want to genuinely laugh?Not even a fake laugh.you want a real laugh?- Yes, I do.- Okay.You shouldn't be able, by the way,to summon that within you at will.Huge.If you can't just summon genuine laughterwithin you at will, not good.It can't be faked, though.It has to be genuine.Here's the exercise.What I would do with clients is tell them,okay, for the next five minutesyou're gonna go say hi to people,but the rule is every 15 seconds,I want you to make a reallyweird, nervous laugh,like, ha ha ha, like that.(crowd laughs)Look at that, genuinelaughter, just summing, right?So you're going up and you're like,\"Hey, what's your name?\"- Jonas.- Jonas, I'm Julien, ha ha ha.(crowd laughs)But then like act completely normal.It's like, yeah, are you from LA?- Las Vegas.- Las, ha.(crowd laughs)Now even in me, it's summoningthat genuine laughter, right?People will sense if it's genuine or not.It has to be genuine,but there's one example.And what's making you laughis just laughing at thecraziness of the situation,at you, at yourself.Genuine self-amusement, okay?And this is also for someonewho tends to be very logical.I'm very logical myself.I would always try to logicallythink my way into self-amusement.What are some funny topics,et cetera, et cetera?Or what's a logical structure of a joke?No, no, no, if you'resomeone who's very logical.do something that disruptsthat way of thinking,meaning do something that'sout of left field, right?I'd have logical clients do this,where I'd come up to them,and say they're talking to someone,again, working on their social skills,I'd come up behind them andwhisper in their ear a word,and whatever the word is,they had to say it, right?So they'd be like,\"Oh, hey, so, oh, you'refrom Vegas, that's cool.\"And I could whisper, \"Baby Yoda,\"and they'd be like, \"Baby Yoda.\"And you'd probably belike, \"What did you say?\"And they're like, (stutters).You can't logically think there, right?All you can pretty much dois just kind of laugh at the awkwardness,embrace it and roll with it.So it gets them out ofthat logical thinking trap.For real, just \"Baby Yoda.\"You can say anything andbe like \"jelly beans.It's like, did you justsay jelly beans, right?You interrupt you could saythe logical thought patterns.Like a wheel that's turning,you put a stick in it.You should learn about yourself,your thought patterns, howyou think, how you operate,and you should learn exactlyhow to do this to you, okay?You should also learnhow to have inside jokes with yourself.That's a lot of self-amusement.It's inside jokes with you.Okay, here's another exercise,a funny one where youalso genuinely laugh.Next time you say hi to someone,if you're like, I needto self-amuse a bit,come up, be like, and belike, what do I find funny?One thing a friend and I didis we would see how long wecould talk about something,a point or a story, withoutever getting to the point.And at what point would someone noticeand like, interrupt, right?So middle of the conversation,it's like, \"Oh, you're from Vegas.\"Oh, that's cool.\"So, you know, this onetime I was in Vegas,\"and just dilly-dally around,never getting to the point.It's like, where is he going with this?And just keep on goingand going and going,and you'd find that funny.And here's the thing, that'sgenuine self-amusement.That's actually good vibes.That's value in the vibes,'cause now they're part of it, too.It doesn't matter the content.They're like through thelaw of state transference,they feel what you feel.Whoever you're talking to feels that,and they'll be laughing, too, right?So that could be one.You could also do onewhere there's that moviethat I always refer back to.It's \"Super Troopers\", right?Where they try to say meow as many times.You ever see that scene?It's like, they pull someone over.It's like highway patrol, andwhile talking to the person,like, you know, \"Licenseand registration, please,\"they try to slip in the word meow.So, \"License andregistration, please, meow.\"And the person's like, \"What?\"But they're, like, full, straight face.And it's like, \"Yeah, canyou hand that over, meow?\"And it's like how manytimes can you say meowuntil the person calls you out on it?There's an example ofan inside joke with you.What inside jokes doyou have with yourself?And it has to be somethingthat you genuinely find funny.Like for me, that's my type of humor.I love that stuff.I love the more Borat style humor.There's a show called \"Nathan for You\".I love that type of, like, that's my jam.So when I'm getting creative there,it's like how can I make myselflaugh or how can I link thisor even exaggerate it so that I laugh?It plays into that theme.What's your theme?There was one client,this is many years ago.I actually feature him inTransformation Mastery.I asked him that, I'm like,\"What do you find exciting?\"And he's like, \"'Game of Thrones.'\"And this is, he had an accent, European.It was Vienna, I believe Austria.But he might've been from Poland,I don't know where he'sfrom, but he had an accent,and this was before \"Game of Thrones\"got ruined with a terrible finalethat was as bad as \"The Matrix 4\".So at that time, and I'm like,\"Well, tell me what youfind exciting about this?\"And he starts talking about it and,spoilers if you haven't seen it.I mean, not, the finaleis so bad, but anyway,he's like, \"There's this guy.\"His name is Hodor,and you find out that,\"and he talks for two minutesin detail about this,that, \"You know, he's thereand he's holding the door\"and that's why it's Hodor.\"And he starts tearing up,(crowd laughs)and everyone's just like, (gasps)like on the edge of their seats.He's just talking,\"It's just so beautifullywritten, hold the door, Hodor.\"Hold the door, Hodor.\"And suddenly he forgot where he was,he forgot this was a seminar.Everyone, I mean, I evenforgot it was a seminar.I was locked in, I waslike, \"Tell me more.\"Like, everyone got sucked intothis guy talking about Hodor.You should be able to do that.What's that thing you justtalk about and talk about,and suddenly you just arein your own little party.Of course, you're makingsure that it connects,calibration, as we talked about,but it's your own little partyand you're sharing that with others.And that is truly a partof what social skills is.It's not you going up and be like,\"Hey, how do I get someone interested?\"It's you have thisparty going on with you,and you're like, \"Checkthis out, check this out.\"Join the party, join theparty, join the party.\"That's it.\n"