EXPOSING The Truth of 15 Years on Youtube! _ NikkieTutorials

**The Journey of a YouTube Personality**

As I reflect on my 15-year journey on YouTube, I am reminded of how far I've come and how much I've grown as an individual. Every day, I feel like I'm doing something that keeps me on point and focused. It's not just about creating content; it's about connecting with my audience and sharing my passion for makeup with the world.

**Passion and Purpose**

Makeup is more than just a hobby or a job to me; it's my true passion. When I'm in front of the camera, I feel alive and connected to who I am as an individual. It's a feeling that's hard to describe, but it's like therapy for me. I can express myself freely, share my thoughts and feelings with my audience, and connect on a deeper level.

**Challenges and Growth**

Of course, creating content isn't without its challenges. There have been times when I've felt overwhelmed, anxious, or even depressed. But through it all, I've learned to use makeup as a tool for self-care and growth. Whether it's a particularly difficult video to create or a personal struggle that I'm facing, I know that I can turn to my camera and share my experiences with the world.

**Career and Legacy**

As I look back on my journey, I am proud of what we've accomplished together as a community. We've created something truly special – a platform where people can come together, connect, and feel seen and heard. It's been an incredible ride, and I'm grateful for every moment of it.

**The Power of Makeup**

Makeup has changed my life in ways that I never could have imagined. It's given me the confidence to pursue my dreams, connect with like-minded individuals, and share my message with the world. Whether you're a makeup enthusiast or just someone who loves a good story, I hope that my content has inspired you to be your best self.

**A Message from the Creator**

If I could start over again, would I be more open about my transition? Yes, but also I'm proud of how we handled it and how we did it. We took risks, faced challenges head-on, and created something truly special. It's been a wild ride, but I wouldn't change a thing.

**The Price of Success**

Success comes with its own set of challenges, including the pressure to constantly create content, manage relationships with brands and advertisers, and deal with the ever-changing landscape of social media. But for me, it's all worth it. I've learned to love myself, my body, and my mind in ways that I never thought possible.

**Growing Older**

As I get older, I'm starting to feel the weight of time more acutely. The fear of death is a real one for me now, and it's hard not to think about how quickly life slips away. But even as I face these fears head-on, I know that I have my channel – and you, my audience – to thank for giving me this gift.

**Conclusion**

As I wrap up this 15-year journey on YouTube, I want to say thank you to each and every one of you who has joined me along the way. Your support, encouragement, and love mean the world to me. If you enjoyed this video, please subscribe to my channel and like it, because there will be more content coming your way soon. And if you're feeling lost or struggling with something, just know that I'm here for you – in person, on camera, or through my words.

"WEBVTTKind: captionsLanguage: enmy first one but I really wanted to make hundreds of it hello guys it's me it's me Nikki and we have something to sell the 17th year anniversary here on the tube hello I uploaded my first video 15 years ago it's been a ride and I'm here today to get Glam and we're going to be taking a trip down memory lane a couple of weeks ago I asked you guys on my Instagram to send in your questions about my 15-year Journey on here so we're going to be answering some of your questions we're going to be looking at older videos with different brows different teeth no lips lots of insecurities a closet so I can't wait let's go let's go oh before we get started I look like I'm going to an Elsa Fan Day meet and greet I'm your biggest fan Elsa Let's uh get started I'm going to Prime where it'll start scream that's Prime is a crime I know I've been on blankety block a lot and after 15 years of doing YouTube I've kind of done it all it got to a point where I was like I don't know if this excites me to that level anymore and when I started my blickety block I had to start from scratch like no followers they really brought back the fun in content creation again but I am at a point now where sometimes I'll wake up and I'll be like oh maybe I should do something for YouTube plus you are so limited with 90 seconds I can't say and by the way before anyone wonders I I have this like little lens filter on and it I saw this on like a new blocks someone had like the most gorgeous setup and other Glitters looked so dreamy and I was like I stalked about a year of her page and she comped it once what filter she used so now I have it because I cannot come up with my own ideas okay oh oh oh we had two excited that I oh if for those wondering this is the Nyx pore filler I love this stuff I do have to buy a new one let's do Foundation oh God I haven't seen you in so long I have something to confess before I mentioned how I mix like two or three foundations one two three four five and it works I went to Beyonce's Renaissance ball and it was uh hotter than the devil's ball sack and my feet looked perfect because and also because I mixed five foundations let's start with the elephant in the room is this your final YouTube video ever oh no should it be maybe no I actually made a list with YouTube video ideas and I have three lined up question is is if I'm in the mood to sit down and do it but I have um ideas I'm not gonna use it all I think okay one of the questions is who do you not support anymore but did at the beginning of your YouTube channel this might be my last video answer that you ask your audience to ask you anything I think audience can see if they watch they can tell friends maybe I don't really support colourpop anymore because they wanted to collab with me and then stuff happened where I was like oh okay I don't really like you anymore um two-faced Dior that's more than enough the most special video you've ever made in 15 years am I coming out I was sitting right here how long has that been 20 20 so three years I think it feels longer because it it feels like so much has happened after but it feels shorter because it's only been three although three years ago did you ever re-watch it no could you re-watch it yeah and why not because I've heard that that I am transgender I've heard that so many times everywhere I go and I'm like we got it girl wrap it up we got it but it's a 20 minute video so there's more in there yeah what was I talking about for 20 minutes what was the video that attracted more Brands and deals to you God um probably the power of makeup I feel like the power of makeup really launched me in a way and that's when Brands started taking me more seriously I got invited to all the pr trips how crazy were they oh they were nuts by the way this is a new product I'm trying out so if I look like trash at the end we're all gonna blame William Letty watch out oh our trips oh honey the that went down there's a couple of things that jump up I feel like people know this by now but Jeffree Star and I got into a huge fight on Necker Island I mean we're good now but that moment will live in my head forever you know Jeffrey is a lot of personality and there was screaming there was me being stubborn because I should have shut my ass up but I was like that was rough but I survived and uh I don't think I ever went on a trip again after that well maybe two there's one trip and I got so viciously drunk and I've never thrown up from drinking and I threw up in the kitchen and nobody saw and I ran away and I don't know who cleaned it but it wasn't me and I was like gotta go oh this oh this one I don't know if I can say this one but I've never told you but like my ex was with me and I caught him doing something okay with another person influencer in the bathroom and that's when I knew it was our time oh damn yeah not gonna name names oh damn yeah but that happened I was like and then you broke up afterwards yeah like a couple of weeks after I am looking like Play-Doh and I love it so what biggest accomplishment from being on YouTube I mean I think two things for me one of my biggest accomplished accomplishments one of my biggest accomplishments keep saying what are you going in with what is it uh this is um face Trace Contour stick and biscuit I love a biscuit what was I saying because accomplishment I think two things one growing this this family and I don't know loving myself a bit more because I hated myself as I'm looking like this yeah I was filming all these videos by myself and for like the first two years it was a secret you know I had to edit all these videos and I I saw what I was giving it taught me what I wanted to give so in a way I kind of like created this Persona that I thought was fun that I wasn't in real life and because of YouTube it I became that Persona online in real life as well and that gave me so much more confidence and self-love as I'm blending away my double chin self-love all right now I'm going to do liquid blush this is a new one so again if I look like trash this is by um unicorn Cosmetics oh my God you got that license did you get this 17 years ago because how did you get that this is the bare face collect bear not pear and bear Crush yesterday my channel hit one million subscribers what's this eight years ago now let me tell you not even oh she gotta cry streams I even dared oh gosh she's gonna cry one million subscribers like are we even really oh God how many people one million is for seven years now and for seven years I I lived life to the fullest I had people gonna die like do I have a day left what's going on no the question is when was the first moment you felt successful I don't really have like a a key moment where I was like oh my God I'm successful probably when the power of makeup went viral that's when I was like so what I'm doing is actually good but that was still from your safe little bubble at home um well I remember that Sigma brushes blew me out to Minneapolis to do my first ever meet and greet and I remember thinking what if only five people show up and a lot of people showed up and I thought that was crazy by the way you talk but I have to blend out my concealer and then set it or else I'll crease so I can do a round of yes and no questions I'll love that yeah of beauty and Francis do you still talk to and with talking I Define as in even responding to a story and have a little DM Kiki or whatever I can't wait for this list Bailey Syrian yes yes ish Chloe Morello it's a follower yeah yeah but following is like maybe no Danielle monsuti yeah Desi Perkins oh yeah Glam and Gore yeah James Charles yeah Jeffree Star yeah Kim Tai yeah Laura Lee no Lisa Eldridge no Manny Muay yeah Michelle Phan no Peter Dragon um I don't know where that girl is so no but like not on purpose like where's she at metric star yeah Patrick no Shane Dawson no tati Westbrook no oh I hate you so one of the ask me anything questions was moving along how's James Charles in real life oh James Charles in real life James is super creative very driven James sometimes just needs a little break calm down now but James is actually one of the sweetest most genuine creators I've ever met what I really appreciate about James is that he'll give it to you he will always give a hundred percent honesty and I love that because in this industry it's a lot of yes mama I think James has been through a lot I think James has learned a lot I've seen change in him like good change and I'm really proud of this and then I can't wait to see his brand to celebrate me uploading for 15 years here on this on this on this I'm actually gonna do my brows on camera also because I've had quite the change you know there's hair now the people that go your brows are too thick notice let me live everyone's gonna ask I use the Anastasia Beverly Hills brow genius every video you would get commentary on your look even if the slighted thing would change would that affect you or influence you or how would you deal with that I mean the Brows bother me because brows were a thing other than that no not really like oh my God you have a double chain well yeah you can tell you're always very open about it because you've made a video about your teeth and oh yeah yeah stuff like that why were you always so open about that part of them well because people have eyes and they can see and if I wouldn't say anything they'd be like girl who you fooling I'm like well yeah no actually no one so let me just be honest it would be a miracle if I went from I can't do my brows like this I'm sorry I gotta do this can you share a memorable comment or interaction that you ever had with a viewer I mean to me it's it's always special when people comment saying that I taught them how to do makeup or how I taught them to love themselves more always really proud of that ever since coming out I'm really proud of of the the messages from parents when they say like you changed my my kids life that always stays with me I have your Globe babies influenced your content on YouTube oh yeah well at one point this girl was doing six challenges back to back and they were like you better change and change it up because we can't deal with the challenges anymore I was like okay no dad you hate me that's actually the top five full-faced challenges people love them we should bring them back comment down below which one you want which one should we do have you ever done a look and recording the video but lost the footage before posting for like what 13 years it was a one-woman show I did it all myself and um I had to learn it all by myself and I had no clue what I was doing so I would film something and then before I knew it I would be like oh happy and be like oh my God I did it I did it I did it I take my little card and I put it in my laptop and I open it and it's black how would you deal with that medical depression but would you like scream like oh I would scream I would cry I would oh my God it would be a whole episode what was the biggest makeup feel planning planning would you then upload it still yeah cause I thought it was fierce and then I uploaded it and all the cops were like about this one Nikki I've had this with my brows for years now where I'm like oh this is such a sleigh brow this is my best brow era of life and then people are like what is happening with brows and I'm like what do you mean it looks good and then I'll become obsessed and I'll scroll back years and just look at brows only and I'm like oh yeah they might be right now would you feel bad when you have you had like a stunning look going on and you had to remove it right away because the video was done oh no it's my job I do this a lot in fact I can't wait to take this off on a day-to-day basis this is I don't apply the five Foundation I mean I have makeup on but it's like it's like soft and glowy I'm like and was it always like that for the past 15 years oh no I would when I was younger and my mom asked me to do some groceries I'd be like give me two hours so long as it took to film a video longest I think was the pulled up demon one until this day I don't know how I did that look because it's so good and I'm like that took me at least nine hours you're not impressed okay no I am sorry nothing I'm okay what was one of your favorite YouTube collaborations that you did on your Channel my favorite was um I did laugh so much with Jeffrey that one we did the first one the pink one we did I laughed so much that I cried my lashes off that's a good indicator what's that one in the car with the the comment oh no that was another one where he goes yes trans I'm like what happened there yeah do you know so Jeffrey didn't know at the time and he was like what's going on today it's a summary out hi guys hi are you into transgender realness I was like oh don't clock me I laughed so much after filming that I was like he is funny hey everyone so to do the look inspired by Rihanna's uh 2000. I accidentally removed it absolutely loved her look and basically whenever Rihanna came on I was like oh my God I don't know let's be afraid I'm sorry honey so today I decided to breathe do you want to collab with Queen Rihanna oh my God is grass green am I trans yes duh oh my God I would live hopefully one day we have a list all-time favorite looks out of all your looks you've done over the past 15 years well one of them is the pulled up demon one the power of makeup as a look because I loved the Grinch that I did I did a look where I did like um anime eyes like big eyes underneath I loved that one oh I did the um for Pride that I did the the heart the rainbow heart and my Spiderman look and there's a story to this one because you won't be able to see it on YouTube because nobody watched it I deleted it but I then took that video and I uploaded it on Instagram and it went huge there and I still see that same Spider-Man look every year during Halloween how do you feel nowadays when people move your stuff move my stuff I cannot stand it if my friends my friends and lay it in the wrong position I'm like no no oh no in my opinion stuff need to be like in the position I place them you needed a no because it needs and it's so cringe to show air anyway how do you deal with your LCD nowadays yeah I know when I put something in its place it it that's its place and that's where it should stay I'm plugging our brand shut up now I'm taking the name of the palette and I'm taking what emotions do you experience when you hit the publish button for a new video well I don't really experience that anymore because I haven't uploaded in a while but before in my prime it just felt like putting everything that you love so dearly on the chopping block for people to like have an opinion on but mostly I would hit publish and think is this the video that's going to end my career always often yeah I was like well if this is the one that's not gonna get any views or that people are gonna hate it then what do you feel pressured to stay relevant with new people coming into the business every day yes I feel like you should feel that because it keeps you on point it keeps you focused fresh you don't want to get redundant you don't want to do the same thing 27 times like a full face challenge whoa what's the color you use how nice of you asking this is actually royal family by that same palette available at ninja.com did you ever consider changing the channel to something other than makeup no I found one thing I'm good at and I was like okay I'm gonna milk the out because I'm not good at anything else what video was the most emotionally challenging for you to create and why besides you're coming out oh one was doing the makeup therapy for my little brother that was uh I wanted to say that was rough but it also really helped me what I do is my job but oftentimes it doesn't feel like my job because makeup truly is my passion and my hobby and like I love the makeup time and and how it makes me feel and at that time I desperately needed to just sit down and just talk and just blend away the feelings almost another video that was very challenging to do was the one after we had our robbery at home like I say makeup is therapy to me like I can sit down I can talk to a camera and talk to you guys in a way and just feel my body saying how did numbers affect your career well they're really important and I obsessed over them if no one's watching something's going wrong that might be me that might be the platform that might be algorithms because it's my job it's my life I have to worry about that if you could start over on YouTube would you be more open about your transition well knowing what I know now yes but also I kind of live how iconic we did it look I'm so proud of the fact that we we just said you and we're gonna do it by ourselves and we're gonna do it our way when I look back at that whole time I'm really proud of how we handled it and how we did it and how we survived it and how we grew from it would I change it maybe but I'm kind of proud of how we did it not is it really all worth it the money having your name out there in the scary world Etc was it really worth it yeah if I didn't have what I would have looked like like I said YouTube and my whole career made me learn how to love myself and if I didn't have that I don't know how I would have done that has there been very dark Downs and would I not have had those Downs if I didn't have my channel probably it is worth it I would do it all over again in a heartbeat but it is daunting that I am getting old and I hate growing up my biggest fear is death the older I get the closer I am and on that no I'm gonna do my makeup off care but I'll be right back all right so I finished my look in Cinderella I wanted to come up with the joke got nothing before I let you go I'm gonna sit and forget it this is our set in and forget it setting spray by nimya oh and then we're gonna blow before you no oh what is that oh I see you think what is that oh this everyone is our new low before you go fan the blue one she did sorry but this girl look at her isn't she gorgeous she is Chrome nimya Orange copper and she's everything she's this she's got the same strong power this little device is not only our best seller but also you're a lifesaver for this summer because it is launching so if you want to be cool for the summer if you want to blow before you go go to ninja.com right now because our new fan is available right now and if you're like oh my God no can I only buy the fan no we got bundles honey bundles and bundles just go to nema.com and check it out all right so that ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between and far beyond is it for my 15-year anniversary here on YouTube what a ride it has been I love that I can cuss again thank you so much for watching if you enjoyed this 15 year anniversary and all the videos I've done in these past 15 years plus this one today please don't forget to subscribe to the channel and like this video because there will be more eventually like I said I have a list I'll promise it won't be another six months okay if you miss me and you're like where is she block Instagram reels even here on shorts so if you really miss me and you want to see what I'm doing or what my brows look like that day find me over there I love you and thank you so much for watching and hopefully I will see you guys on the next one which won't be longmy first one but I really wanted to make hundreds of it hello guys it's me it's me Nikki and we have something to sell the 17th year anniversary here on the tube hello I uploaded my first video 15 years ago it's been a ride and I'm here today to get Glam and we're going to be taking a trip down memory lane a couple of weeks ago I asked you guys on my Instagram to send in your questions about my 15-year Journey on here so we're going to be answering some of your questions we're going to be looking at older videos with different brows different teeth no lips lots of insecurities a closet so I can't wait let's go let's go oh before we get started I look like I'm going to an Elsa Fan Day meet and greet I'm your biggest fan Elsa Let's uh get started I'm going to Prime where it'll start scream that's Prime is a crime I know I've been on blankety block a lot and after 15 years of doing YouTube I've kind of done it all it got to a point where I was like I don't know if this excites me to that level anymore and when I started my blickety block I had to start from scratch like no followers they really brought back the fun in content creation again but I am at a point now where sometimes I'll wake up and I'll be like oh maybe I should do something for YouTube plus you are so limited with 90 seconds I can't say and by the way before anyone wonders I I have this like little lens filter on and it I saw this on like a new blocks someone had like the most gorgeous setup and other Glitters looked so dreamy and I was like I stalked about a year of her page and she comped it once what filter she used so now I have it because I cannot come up with my own ideas okay oh oh oh we had two excited that I oh if for those wondering this is the Nyx pore filler I love this stuff I do have to buy a new one let's do Foundation oh God I haven't seen you in so long I have something to confess before I mentioned how I mix like two or three foundations one two three four five and it works I went to Beyonce's Renaissance ball and it was uh hotter than the devil's ball sack and my feet looked perfect because and also because I mixed five foundations let's start with the elephant in the room is this your final YouTube video ever oh no should it be maybe no I actually made a list with YouTube video ideas and I have three lined up question is is if I'm in the mood to sit down and do it but I have um ideas I'm not gonna use it all I think okay one of the questions is who do you not support anymore but did at the beginning of your YouTube channel this might be my last video answer that you ask your audience to ask you anything I think audience can see if they watch they can tell friends maybe I don't really support colourpop anymore because they wanted to collab with me and then stuff happened where I was like oh okay I don't really like you anymore um two-faced Dior that's more than enough the most special video you've ever made in 15 years am I coming out I was sitting right here how long has that been 20 20 so three years I think it feels longer because it it feels like so much has happened after but it feels shorter because it's only been three although three years ago did you ever re-watch it no could you re-watch it yeah and why not because I've heard that that I am transgender I've heard that so many times everywhere I go and I'm like we got it girl wrap it up we got it but it's a 20 minute video so there's more in there yeah what was I talking about for 20 minutes what was the video that attracted more Brands and deals to you God um probably the power of makeup I feel like the power of makeup really launched me in a way and that's when Brands started taking me more seriously I got invited to all the pr trips how crazy were they oh they were nuts by the way this is a new product I'm trying out so if I look like trash at the end we're all gonna blame William Letty watch out oh our trips oh honey the that went down there's a couple of things that jump up I feel like people know this by now but Jeffree Star and I got into a huge fight on Necker Island I mean we're good now but that moment will live in my head forever you know Jeffrey is a lot of personality and there was screaming there was me being stubborn because I should have shut my ass up but I was like that was rough but I survived and uh I don't think I ever went on a trip again after that well maybe two there's one trip and I got so viciously drunk and I've never thrown up from drinking and I threw up in the kitchen and nobody saw and I ran away and I don't know who cleaned it but it wasn't me and I was like gotta go oh this oh this one I don't know if I can say this one but I've never told you but like my ex was with me and I caught him doing something okay with another person influencer in the bathroom and that's when I knew it was our time oh damn yeah not gonna name names oh damn yeah but that happened I was like and then you broke up afterwards yeah like a couple of weeks after I am looking like Play-Doh and I love it so what biggest accomplishment from being on YouTube I mean I think two things for me one of my biggest accomplished accomplishments one of my biggest accomplishments keep saying what are you going in with what is it uh this is um face Trace Contour stick and biscuit I love a biscuit what was I saying because accomplishment I think two things one growing this this family and I don't know loving myself a bit more because I hated myself as I'm looking like this yeah I was filming all these videos by myself and for like the first two years it was a secret you know I had to edit all these videos and I I saw what I was giving it taught me what I wanted to give so in a way I kind of like created this Persona that I thought was fun that I wasn't in real life and because of YouTube it I became that Persona online in real life as well and that gave me so much more confidence and self-love as I'm blending away my double chin self-love all right now I'm going to do liquid blush this is a new one so again if I look like trash this is by um unicorn Cosmetics oh my God you got that license did you get this 17 years ago because how did you get that this is the bare face collect bear not pear and bear Crush yesterday my channel hit one million subscribers what's this eight years ago now let me tell you not even oh she gotta cry streams I even dared oh gosh she's gonna cry one million subscribers like are we even really oh God how many people one million is for seven years now and for seven years I I lived life to the fullest I had people gonna die like do I have a day left what's going on no the question is when was the first moment you felt successful I don't really have like a a key moment where I was like oh my God I'm successful probably when the power of makeup went viral that's when I was like so what I'm doing is actually good but that was still from your safe little bubble at home um well I remember that Sigma brushes blew me out to Minneapolis to do my first ever meet and greet and I remember thinking what if only five people show up and a lot of people showed up and I thought that was crazy by the way you talk but I have to blend out my concealer and then set it or else I'll crease so I can do a round of yes and no questions I'll love that yeah of beauty and Francis do you still talk to and with talking I Define as in even responding to a story and have a little DM Kiki or whatever I can't wait for this list Bailey Syrian yes yes ish Chloe Morello it's a follower yeah yeah but following is like maybe no Danielle monsuti yeah Desi Perkins oh yeah Glam and Gore yeah James Charles yeah Jeffree Star yeah Kim Tai yeah Laura Lee no Lisa Eldridge no Manny Muay yeah Michelle Phan no Peter Dragon um I don't know where that girl is so no but like not on purpose like where's she at metric star yeah Patrick no Shane Dawson no tati Westbrook no oh I hate you so one of the ask me anything questions was moving along how's James Charles in real life oh James Charles in real life James is super creative very driven James sometimes just needs a little break calm down now but James is actually one of the sweetest most genuine creators I've ever met what I really appreciate about James is that he'll give it to you he will always give a hundred percent honesty and I love that because in this industry it's a lot of yes mama I think James has been through a lot I think James has learned a lot I've seen change in him like good change and I'm really proud of this and then I can't wait to see his brand to celebrate me uploading for 15 years here on this on this on this I'm actually gonna do my brows on camera also because I've had quite the change you know there's hair now the people that go your brows are too thick notice let me live everyone's gonna ask I use the Anastasia Beverly Hills brow genius every video you would get commentary on your look even if the slighted thing would change would that affect you or influence you or how would you deal with that I mean the Brows bother me because brows were a thing other than that no not really like oh my God you have a double chain well yeah you can tell you're always very open about it because you've made a video about your teeth and oh yeah yeah stuff like that why were you always so open about that part of them well because people have eyes and they can see and if I wouldn't say anything they'd be like girl who you fooling I'm like well yeah no actually no one so let me just be honest it would be a miracle if I went from I can't do my brows like this I'm sorry I gotta do this can you share a memorable comment or interaction that you ever had with a viewer I mean to me it's it's always special when people comment saying that I taught them how to do makeup or how I taught them to love themselves more always really proud of that ever since coming out I'm really proud of of the the messages from parents when they say like you changed my my kids life that always stays with me I have your Globe babies influenced your content on YouTube oh yeah well at one point this girl was doing six challenges back to back and they were like you better change and change it up because we can't deal with the challenges anymore I was like okay no dad you hate me that's actually the top five full-faced challenges people love them we should bring them back comment down below which one you want which one should we do have you ever done a look and recording the video but lost the footage before posting for like what 13 years it was a one-woman show I did it all myself and um I had to learn it all by myself and I had no clue what I was doing so I would film something and then before I knew it I would be like oh happy and be like oh my God I did it I did it I did it I take my little card and I put it in my laptop and I open it and it's black how would you deal with that medical depression but would you like scream like oh I would scream I would cry I would oh my God it would be a whole episode what was the biggest makeup feel planning planning would you then upload it still yeah cause I thought it was fierce and then I uploaded it and all the cops were like about this one Nikki I've had this with my brows for years now where I'm like oh this is such a sleigh brow this is my best brow era of life and then people are like what is happening with brows and I'm like what do you mean it looks good and then I'll become obsessed and I'll scroll back years and just look at brows only and I'm like oh yeah they might be right now would you feel bad when you have you had like a stunning look going on and you had to remove it right away because the video was done oh no it's my job I do this a lot in fact I can't wait to take this off on a day-to-day basis this is I don't apply the five Foundation I mean I have makeup on but it's like it's like soft and glowy I'm like and was it always like that for the past 15 years oh no I would when I was younger and my mom asked me to do some groceries I'd be like give me two hours so long as it took to film a video longest I think was the pulled up demon one until this day I don't know how I did that look because it's so good and I'm like that took me at least nine hours you're not impressed okay no I am sorry nothing I'm okay what was one of your favorite YouTube collaborations that you did on your Channel my favorite was um I did laugh so much with Jeffrey that one we did the first one the pink one we did I laughed so much that I cried my lashes off that's a good indicator what's that one in the car with the the comment oh no that was another one where he goes yes trans I'm like what happened there yeah do you know so Jeffrey didn't know at the time and he was like what's going on today it's a summary out hi guys hi are you into transgender realness I was like oh don't clock me I laughed so much after filming that I was like he is funny hey everyone so to do the look inspired by Rihanna's uh 2000. I accidentally removed it absolutely loved her look and basically whenever Rihanna came on I was like oh my God I don't know let's be afraid I'm sorry honey so today I decided to breathe do you want to collab with Queen Rihanna oh my God is grass green am I trans yes duh oh my God I would live hopefully one day we have a list all-time favorite looks out of all your looks you've done over the past 15 years well one of them is the pulled up demon one the power of makeup as a look because I loved the Grinch that I did I did a look where I did like um anime eyes like big eyes underneath I loved that one oh I did the um for Pride that I did the the heart the rainbow heart and my Spiderman look and there's a story to this one because you won't be able to see it on YouTube because nobody watched it I deleted it but I then took that video and I uploaded it on Instagram and it went huge there and I still see that same Spider-Man look every year during Halloween how do you feel nowadays when people move your stuff move my stuff I cannot stand it if my friends my friends and lay it in the wrong position I'm like no no oh no in my opinion stuff need to be like in the position I place them you needed a no because it needs and it's so cringe to show air anyway how do you deal with your LCD nowadays yeah I know when I put something in its place it it that's its place and that's where it should stay I'm plugging our brand shut up now I'm taking the name of the palette and I'm taking what emotions do you experience when you hit the publish button for a new video well I don't really experience that anymore because I haven't uploaded in a while but before in my prime it just felt like putting everything that you love so dearly on the chopping block for people to like have an opinion on but mostly I would hit publish and think is this the video that's going to end my career always often yeah I was like well if this is the one that's not gonna get any views or that people are gonna hate it then what do you feel pressured to stay relevant with new people coming into the business every day yes I feel like you should feel that because it keeps you on point it keeps you focused fresh you don't want to get redundant you don't want to do the same thing 27 times like a full face challenge whoa what's the color you use how nice of you asking this is actually royal family by that same palette available at ninja.com did you ever consider changing the channel to something other than makeup no I found one thing I'm good at and I was like okay I'm gonna milk the out because I'm not good at anything else what video was the most emotionally challenging for you to create and why besides you're coming out oh one was doing the makeup therapy for my little brother that was uh I wanted to say that was rough but it also really helped me what I do is my job but oftentimes it doesn't feel like my job because makeup truly is my passion and my hobby and like I love the makeup time and and how it makes me feel and at that time I desperately needed to just sit down and just talk and just blend away the feelings almost another video that was very challenging to do was the one after we had our robbery at home like I say makeup is therapy to me like I can sit down I can talk to a camera and talk to you guys in a way and just feel my body saying how did numbers affect your career well they're really important and I obsessed over them if no one's watching something's going wrong that might be me that might be the platform that might be algorithms because it's my job it's my life I have to worry about that if you could start over on YouTube would you be more open about your transition well knowing what I know now yes but also I kind of live how iconic we did it look I'm so proud of the fact that we we just said you and we're gonna do it by ourselves and we're gonna do it our way when I look back at that whole time I'm really proud of how we handled it and how we did it and how we survived it and how we grew from it would I change it maybe but I'm kind of proud of how we did it not is it really all worth it the money having your name out there in the scary world Etc was it really worth it yeah if I didn't have what I would have looked like like I said YouTube and my whole career made me learn how to love myself and if I didn't have that I don't know how I would have done that has there been very dark Downs and would I not have had those Downs if I didn't have my channel probably it is worth it I would do it all over again in a heartbeat but it is daunting that I am getting old and I hate growing up my biggest fear is death the older I get the closer I am and on that no I'm gonna do my makeup off care but I'll be right back all right so I finished my look in Cinderella I wanted to come up with the joke got nothing before I let you go I'm gonna sit and forget it this is our set in and forget it setting spray by nimya oh and then we're gonna blow before you no oh what is that oh I see you think what is that oh this everyone is our new low before you go fan the blue one she did sorry but this girl look at her isn't she gorgeous she is Chrome nimya Orange copper and she's everything she's this she's got the same strong power this little device is not only our best seller but also you're a lifesaver for this summer because it is launching so if you want to be cool for the summer if you want to blow before you go go to ninja.com right now because our new fan is available right now and if you're like oh my God no can I only buy the fan no we got bundles honey bundles and bundles just go to nema.com and check it out all right so that ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between and far beyond is it for my 15-year anniversary here on YouTube what a ride it has been I love that I can cuss again thank you so much for watching if you enjoyed this 15 year anniversary and all the videos I've done in these past 15 years plus this one today please don't forget to subscribe to the channel and like this video because there will be more eventually like I said I have a list I'll promise it won't be another six months okay if you miss me and you're like where is she block Instagram reels even here on shorts so if you really miss me and you want to see what I'm doing or what my brows look like that day find me over there I love you and thank you so much for watching and hopefully I will see you guys on the next one which won't be long\n"